Friendship is Card Games: Ponyville Mysteries #2 and #3 · 12:06pm Dec 15th, 2019
This week, we continue our investigation into the Ponyville Mysteries side series, with crimes ranging from petty theft to grand arson. You know, for kids!
Ponyville Mysteries #2
Okay, I’m only on the first page and this is already a pitch-perfect Walter Sobchak. Seriously, this feels like a crossover. I just hope the Crusaders don’t even encounter the Jesus. Eight-year-olds, Dude.
And yes, apparently his name is Walter. And we have confirmation that the Dude is a Letrotski. (I’m not a Letrotski, but hey, that means I’m not liable for his rug.)
Hmm. Interesting other members of the team. Cranky, Big Mac, and the mayor. I suppose the “golf-playing politician” trope doesn’t work well when you don’t have a nearby golf course. Or thumbs… though they are bowling. 
Also, Donny has apparently already shuffled off this mortal coil. No word on whether any nihilists killed the Dude’s cart.
Heh. Sorry, Sweetie, the answer isn’t always birds. Also, looks like Snips’s father is quite the accomplished bowler.
I do appreciate a good Big Lebowski reference—as should be obvious by now—but “Those pins really tied the bowling alley together” feels forced. That line doesn’t work when referring to something that an expected and necessary part of the building.
On that note, I appreciate how Cranky calls out the next reference as unnecessary.
Of course there aren’t any nihilists in Ponyville. The Crusaders themselves are walking reminders that destiny is a tangible force, to say nothing of how the Cutie Map reinforces how the universe (or at least very powerful entities within it) has some grand purpose in mind. Besides, the nihilists were German. Still, at least this means nopony’s fillyfriend will cut off her toe. That would be her entire hoof!
Oh. Huh. And on that note, Apple Bloom suspects a nonlocal culprit.
Wait, hold on, Twist had xylolycanthropy? Twist? … Ah, seems that was one of the novellas. Dang, maybe I should read those.
(Checks the other titles)
There are perytons!?
“You heard Walter and Jeff.” As much as I appreciate the crossover, those are still really disconcerting names in an Equestrian context.
Convenient older sisters are convenient. (Though I can’t help but think that if the Crusaders could have managed this trip, they’d have been much better prepared for “Growing Up is Hard to Do.”)
… Wait, the same train is heading to Canterlot and Dodge Junction from Ponyville? That seems like a nightmare to manage. You’d think Canterlot would be a rail terminal based on the logistics of getting a train up there.
Also, it’s really weird to hear Rainbow Dash refer to her parents by name. I mean, it’s weird to hear anyone refer to their parents by name, but it usually indicates a willing detachment from them.
I do appreciate how the Dodge Junction bowling alley has saloon doors. Got to love that commitment to the aesthetic.
Apple Bloom managed to forget her own excuse for interrogating the bowlers on the way to Dodge. Silly pony.
Yeah, with an introduction like “Here’s the little sister of my dear friend and business associate,” you can’t exactly open with “Which one of you is the dirty thief?”
Oh hey, Marian the librarian from the Flimflams/Granny Smith Friends Forever issue. Unexpected bit of continuity.
Huh. So the Cloudsdale bowlers are literally just some Wonderbolts. Neat.
Good to see Moondancer branching out and spending time with more than just her school friends. It’s also nice to see Twilight’s parents have a life outside of their kids. Though with Upper Crust involved, I’m not entirely sure the Canterlot team is on the level… though with Fancy Pants insisting on fair play, she probably won’t dare stoop to underhoofed tactics.
“Mr. Letrotski! What is the meaning of this?”
“Dude.”
“What?”
Now see, that’s a good, subtle reference. See, he’s not Mr. Letrotski. The other guy’s Mr. Letrotski. He’s the Dude.
Oh, that was Snips’s grandfather. I see. He’s also apparently our Sam Elliot for this issue. I suppose shoehorning in Burnt Oak wouldn’t have worked as smoothly.
Poor Cheerilee. She didn’t sign up for these shenanigans.
“Jolly good day!” Yes, Snips, very believable. Very nonchalant.
Holy crap. Honestly, the Crusaders may not have been necessary for this one. The pins would’ve revealed themselves in time, and quite explosively at that.
Delightful close, and without the lingering questions of the previous issue. (I still wonder how those birds unlocked the supply closet.) Though I have to note the contrast between Apple Bloom telling Applejack her inquiries were for a school project and the mayor commemorating the three in a public ceremony. Just how secretive do you three want to be, anyway?
Ponyville Mysteries #3
Ah yes, the first visual appearance of Scootaloo’s aunts. Though not one that lines up with their show coloration. Of course, IDW ran through two or three different Star Swirls before “Shadow Play,” so they’re in good company.
Also, One Punch Filly is apparently part of the Crusaders’ Filly Guides troop. (I know most people like to call her Lily Longsocks, but I still stand by Dilemma.)
Yeah, that’s not quite what a prickly pear looks like. And I’m not sure why they went with these bizarre creations when ponies made s’mores all the way back in “Look Before You Sleep.”
I would hope that there would be better sources for burning buildings than rumor.
Interesting design for the Ponyville fire engine in that first panel. Certainly appropriate for the average tech level of Equestria. (Emphasis on average; goodness knows there have been plenty of exceptions.
Well, we know it wasn’t Filthy Rich. Anyone brought up as a suspect this early is sure to be innocent. Besides, land grabs are more the human’s modus operandi than the pony’s.
Oh hey, Diamond Tiara gets to speak post-“Crusaders of the Lost Mark.” Nice. And she has a point; why commit arson when you’d barely notice the legitimate expense?
This is definitely a red herring. Leave it to a pony named Sand Trap to cause complications and wasted time and effort.
That’s the first time I’ve seen the shuffleboard equivalent of an air hockey table.
This retirement community has an impressive collection of Marx brothers.
Sand Trap learned from Distemper’s lesson. Better to deal with a bit of annoyance to clear your name than to let the suspicion linger.
Yes, break and enter the crime scene to investigate. Surely nothing can go wrong with this plan.
Also, who’s selling all these black sneaking suits in Ponyville, and why do they come in foals’ sizes?
I do like how you can see the Crusaders piled up in one panel as the night watchpony investigates. Agnes Garbowska isn’t exactly the most detailed comic artist, but that’s some very nice work with light, shadow, and composition drawing the reader’s attention.
Bit of a coloring hiccup: Scootaloo licks the floor, but Apple Bloom’s doing the gustatory analysis.
Great bit of characterization for the aunts. Holiday’s telling off Scootaloo for breaking and entering. Lofty just wants to know if she got anything out of it.
… Huh. Pearly Stitch may want to get a thorough physical. Thinking that starting a campfire indoors is a good idea doesn’t speak of fully intact faculties. Though that could’ve just been fatigue talking.
Arson’s a bit of a step up for the girls, yet the story overall felt a bit more lightweight than the previous issue. Without the trips across Equestria, not nearly as much actually happened. Still a fun read, though. Now, this week we’re going to learn how to make trading cards using common woodland items…
Abide W
Instant
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to and dealt by target creature this turn.
Draw a card.
“I take comfort in that.”
—Kingpin, champion bowler
Holy Roller WW
Creature — Pony Cleric
Holy Roller is detained between sunset on Friday and sunset on Saturday. (It can’t attack or block and its activated abilities can’t be activated.)
Some things are more important than the tournament.
3/2
Overstuffed Closet 1W
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have four or more artifact cards in your graveyard, return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.
Clutter is a problem that solves itself.
Ponyville Fire Chief 1WW
Creature — Unicorn Citizen
Lands you control have indestructible.
Spells and abilities your opponents control can’t cause you to sacrifice lands.
Doing what he can to bring safety and sanity to the Bearers’ home.
2/2
Wonderbolt Bowling Team 2W
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Whenever Wonderbolt Bowling Team deals damage, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.
“Hey, it’s this or flying through thunderstorms.”
—High Winds, Wonderbolt senior airpony
2/1
Honor the Finest 3W
Instant
Each creature you control with the greatest power gains flying, first strike, and lifelink until end of turn.
“We commemorate those who have risen the highest to inspire the rest of us to make the climb.”
—Marion Mare, mayor of Ponyville
Night Watchpony 3W
Creature — Pony Soldier
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, untap Night Watchpony. If that creature is black, Night Watchpony gains indestructible until end of turn.
On Ungula, there’s no such thing as “just” a shadow.
3/3
Analyze the Evidence 3U
Instant
When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell your opponents cast before it this turn.
Draw a card.
Everypony has a chemical analysis lab with them as long as they’re willing to lick the samples.
Canterlot Bowling Team 3U
Creature — Unicorn Advisor
Whenever Canterlot Bowling Team deals damage, roll a six-sided die. Each player puts the top X cards of their library into their graveyard, where X is the result.
They don’t need magic to drive you mad. The constant chatter does that.
1/4
Pinthief Eagle 3UU
Creature — Bird
Flying
When Pinthief Eagle enters the battlefield, gain control of target artifact for as long as you control Pinthief Eagle.
“I hate freaking eagles, man.”
—Jeff Letrotski, the Dude
2/2
Absurdist Troupe 3B
Creature — Pony Rogue
Spectacle 1B (You may cast this spell for its spectacle cost rather than its mana cost if an opponent lost life this turn.)
Lifelink
“You can’t fool me. I know there’s no sanity clause.”
3/2
Ornery Curmudgeon 3B
Creature — Pony Elder
When Ornery Curmudgeon enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices a nonhistoric, nonland permanent. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
“Bah! Newfangled dreck.”
3/2
Underhoofed Bowling Team 3B
Creature — Pony Rogue
Whenever Underhoofed Bowling Team deals damage, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses that much life.
“What? We’re supposed to throw heavy balls at things.”
1/2
Accidental Arsonist 1R
Creature — Pony Citizen
When Accidental Arsonist enters the battlefield, sacrifice a land.
“I thought this would be an easy job. Then Twilight Sparkle moved in.”
—Fire Streak, Ponyville fire chief
3/2
Destructive Nihilists 1R
Creature — Pony Rogue
When Destructive Nihilists enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices an artifact.
“Where’s the money, Letrotski?”
2/2
Ruinous Blaze 4RR
Sorcery
Choose two. You may choose the same mode more than once.
• Ruinous Blaze deals 4 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
• Destroy target artifact or land.
Flame makes friends quickly, but can never keep them.
Sweet-Toothed Filly 2G
Creature — Pony Werewolf Child
Whenever this creature enters the battlefield or transforms into Sweet-Toothed Filly, create a Food token. (It’s a colorless artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
At the beginning of each upkeep, if no spells were cast last turn, transform Sweet-Toothed Filly.
1/3
Bitterbite Timberwolf
Creature — Elemental Werewolf
G, Sacrifice a Food: Put a +1/+1 counter on Bitterbite Timberwolf. It gains trample until end of turn.
At the beginning of each upkeep, if a player cast two or more spells last turn, transform Bitterbite Timberwolf.
3/3
Elder Guide 3G
Creature — Pony Elder Scout
Creatures you control have hexproof during combat.
Lessons learned in foalhood stayed with her all through life.
2/4
The Dude 4G
Legendary Creature — Pony Rogue
Whenever The Dude attacks or blocks, investigate. (Create a colorless Clue artifact token with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
The Dude has indestructible as long as you sacrificed a Clue this turn.
He really ties the truth together.
4/3
Cheery Campfire 1(rg)
Sorcery
Cheery Campfire deals 3 damage to target creature if R was spent to cast this spell. Create a Food token if G was spent to cast this spell. (Do both if RG was spent.)
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: of course there are ways for Holy Roller to end up with an activated ability. Also, isn't the Sabbath on Sunday?
5169785
Not if you're Jewish. (Link contains profanity, as it's Walter Sobchak unhindered by a TV-Y rating.) Which is also why it goes from sunset to sunset.
can I get a link to the xylolycanthropy panel? this is something I need to see to believe
Business can be hard to come by in a town where the residents typically don't wear clothes. Rarity didn't really believe Sweetie Belle when she said the Crusaders wanted black outfits "because they're slimming?," but hey... any chance to create or alter a garment.
I don't know how Holy Roller is supposed to work.
I haven't read any of the novellas aside from the Cadance one. The Rainbow Rocks novel threw me a little. Someone needs to introduce the people who write them to fanfiction and the concept that you can write a child-friendly pony book and not have it read like Fun With Dick And Jane.
If there's peryton I'm sold. I loved To Perytonia, try to get everyone to read it, and hated PP's review of it because he was 1000% unfair because he was upset about the length. I don't think he actually read it or he literally just forgot things three seconds after reading / audiobooking them.
Human names in pony has always deeply bothered me. Or forced references.
5169810
Right here. We sadly don't get to see Twist-garou in the comic, just an allusion to a past incident.
5169834
This explains so much. Headcanon accepted.
5169861
Similarly to Elvish House Party. If it's getting around the beginning or end of the day of rest, use your official local time for sunset to determine whether he can roll.
(In case it wasn't clear, Holy Roller is emphatically silver-bordered.)
5169874
Wait... there's... cards that you refer to *what time it is*???
And Magic just gets more confusing...
5169875
Only with cards that are from joke sets which are explicitly illegal in any kind of professional play. They're deliberately silly for the sake of having fun and doing what Magic cards normally can't.
5169881
That makes a lot more sense. Still, House Party looks like a hilarious meme card to play in a game you're playing at noon
Oh yeah I forgot. When they appear in... i forget which episode it is, i think episode 100, they have the coffee can at the wedding
5169789
Nightfall on Saturday, FWIW. Shabbat is approximately 25 hours long, not 24.