Headcanon Tidbits: The Three Tribes and How They Would Kick Ass · 1:50am Nov 24th, 2019
Howdy, folks! First and foremost, as always, Adorable Applejack:
Ah... Ah am so conflicted right now...
Now, the purpose of this blog is... well, to rant randomly about a few things I've always had rattling around in my head. I think part of, is not most of the fun of being in a fandom is the "fanon." That is, little theories and ideas we have about the lore and world of the show that we get to explore and develop. It's a helluva lot of fun to talk and debate about... until some asshole decides that his headcanon is better than the actual shows and you're stupid for disagreeing I mean can't you see how obvious it all is and how dare you tell me I'm wrong reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
What I want to discuss is a few little ideas and barely-formed plot bunnies that I've accrued over the years. Most of them are old, dating back to the earliest times I started actually caring about fan theories. Since that time, I've grown to love hearing about the differing thoughts on how things in the show work beyond what we've seen, and sometimes even writing entire plot lines into my stories to counter the more popular ones I don't like debating them. The main thrust of this blog is my ideas on the Three Tribes of ponies—Pegasi, Unicorns, and Earth Ponies—and how possible morphological and magical differences would lead to them all kicking your ass in unique ways.
This all hearkens back to a story I read way back in the day, like 2012, called The Moonstone Cup. In it, Twilight enters a sort of magic battle tournament. She went up against creatures from all over, like griffons, dragons, and even a Diamond Dog, and we got to see how they all used different forms of magic. It was a lot of fun, kinda pulpy, but I read it at an interesting time in my life. This was early in my Drill Sergeant career, and one of the things we did at Drill Sergeant School was get certified in MACP, the Modern Army Combatives Program. It's a sort of mish-mash of fighting styles from all over, focusing on grappling and ground techniques. One of the many regrets I have from my time in the Army was I never got more involved in it. I got Level 1 certified, but there are three levels, and I wish I had volunteered to study it more.
Anywho, this is all a long-winded way of saying it made me think: how would ponies fight? Like, what styles of fighting would they use. In the real world, different cultures have all come up with incredibly varied schools of martial arts, and no one is at the very least incredibly more effective than another. A black belt in Chinese Wushu and a master in Russian Sambo will both be able to wreck your shit, but they'll be doing it in very different ways. So if humans, who are morphologically identical, all came to incredibly varied methods of beating ass, how would ponies, who are very different in terms of body types, fight?
Let's start with the basics. From the very beginning, we were told of the differences between the tribes. Some were obvious: unicorns can use active magic and cast spells, pegasi can fly, walk on clouds, and control the weather. But for earth ponies, it really wasn't until the Word of Faust explained it that we got a sense of their unique abilities, a "deep connection to the earth," as she put it. Now, on the surface, this seems... kinda not fair. I mean, think about it.
"I can fly and literally control the forces of nature!"
"I can cast complex magic spells and bend the very fabric of reality to my needs!"
"... I can grow shit pretty good."
See? Kinda seems like earth ponies got the short end of the evolutionary stick, doesn't it? Even back in Season One, it looked like anything earth ponies could do, others could do, too. I mean, the Running of the Leaves in Fall Weather Friends seemed on the surface to be pretty important... until they let a unicorn and a pegasus run too, showing it wasn't some earth pony specific thing. It took a while for the show to catch up to the fandom on that point, actually.
But as far as physical differences, at least aside from the painfully obvious, there... really aren't any. Due to the budget of the show, the only real differences come between the two genders. Except for alicorns. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance are all larger than other ponies. This was further illustrated when Twilight ascended and returned from that big YouTube user page in the heavens slightly taller than her friends. So, given all of this, how would the three tribes differ physically? And how would that influence any martial art they might develop?
Now, fair warning: I am not an expert in any form of martial art. My knowledge of these techniques is based on a cursory Google search and Wikipedia, so if I get something wrong, please let me know. Also, like the title implies, this is all headcanon. Nothing I am about to say really has any physical evidence from the show. All this is just my mental wheels spinning. You're more than free to disagree, and I eagerly welcome you telling me your thoughts in the comments. Just remember that at the end of the day, this is my house and you're fucking wrong. Mmm'kay? 
Let's start with unicorns. I always saw them as physically weak. When I say "weak" I mean purely in terms of strength, and it makes sense when you think about it. I mean, when you use your mind to do the bulk of your interaction with the world around you, your muscles wouldn't need to be all that developed. I would think that practice in building up your telekinetic abilities would be more of a priority than your physical strength. To put it in D&D terms because I'm a fucking nerd, a unicorn would have a high Intelligence and Wisdom stat, but low Constitution and Strength. As for their preferred method of fighting, it can be easy to simply say, "Well, they use spells, duh!" And yeah, I guess, but that seems kind of... cheap. Like, it just falls into the trap of "Dark Souls easy mode" of cheesing spells from a distance. And again, I suppose it makes sense. Why would you let your opponent get anywhere near you when you can just lift them up with your mind and throw them off a cliff? But that's not very fun, so let's try something else.
As I said, they are the physically weakest, so any for of fighting would be based on not letting them close. The most obvious method of this would be using weapons. However, given that earth ponies have been shown to be the most industrious, I would think that quality physical weapons would be hard to come by in the early days of tribal animosity. A good answer for that comes from a fantastic story from back in the day, The Immortal Game. In it, Rarity is talented in the art of "bladecasting." In a nutshell, the user forms a weapon using several small crystals or gems, joining them together to form a sort of spectral blade. The more gems, the more powerful the blade was. This would allow for a way to fend off an attacker at a distance, and talented practitioners could even use a gem from the blade as a sort of magic missile/grenade projectile to damage or distract opponents. It's really cool, and a great part of the story.
If we want to focus on an actual martial art, I would think it would look something like Aikido or Jeet Kune Do. Aikido is a relatively modern martial art, coming into being in the early 1900's. It was developed to allow someone to defend themselves without causing major harm to their attacker, although it could do so. Based on my cursory Google search, it seems to emphasize throws and deflections. Jeet Kune Do, on the other hand, is more active. It's about waiting for your opponent to strike, and using their movement against them. Both of them are almost reactionary in their approaches. I would think that a unicorn would use this style because it's more of a "last resort," like if you're overwhelmed and one attacker manages to get close.
However, spells would be a major part in it. Remember that old story Xenophillia? You know, that silly, shameless, self-insert waifu-faggotry story about a human forming a "herd" with Twilight and Rainbow? Actually, a lot of things about the story, it's world-building and lore, were pretty awesome. Remember, this was back in the day when all we had for lore was what we saw, and since a shoestring budget meant the animators had to reuse assets, we mainly saw the female pony model. This would make it seem there were less males, and thus a "herding" system would make sense. So yeah, there were a lot of good elements in that story... except for the story itself. And before you even start, yes Archonix, I really like your side stories.
The reason I bring this up is because of the third member of the human's little herd: Lyra. In that story, she's not some human obsessed weirdo or conspiracy theorist nutjob. She's portrayed as a calm, cool customer, and a "black belt" in a unicorn martial art called "Still Way," if i recall properly. There are physical elements, but I remember the story focusing more on the spell element. Like, she could blink and put you to sleep at distance. I don't really remember it all too well, and I don't care enough to read it again, but it's an incredibly interesting concept. Lastly, in more large-scale battles, they would once more rely on magic, raining down magical artillery on foes from a safe distance.
Now, on to pegasi. I always thought of them as the physically "weakest," but as opposed to unicorns, I don't mean their physical strength. We saw in Fall Weather Friends that a pegasus like Rainbow Dash can basically hold her own in contests of strength against an earth pony like Applejack. No, what I mean here is they are simply easier to damage. Being built for flight and speed, I would think have less dense bone structure like real life birds. Think High Dexterity and Strength, but low Constitution. This would mean that while a pegasus could be pretty strong, if you got a good hold on one, you could do some serious damage pretty quick. However, like the old adage says, "You can't hurt what you can't hit."
A pegasus martial art would likely look something like boxing/kickboxing, or maybe a simple version of Muay Thai. The emphasis would be on maintaining a distance, then move in, a few lightning-fast strikes, and get back out. You want to spend as little time as possible in striking distance of your opponent, because while there, they can do serious damage. Hell, I could even see resembling more like dive-bombing than an actual fight: circle around your opponent, keep them guessing as to where you're going to strike from, then zoom in and land a flurry of blows before breaking contact. They would almost be a sort of "Glass Canon," able to do massive damage, but unable to take it. I can picture in my head a scenario where several pegasi soldiers would be "swarming" around a burly earth pony adversary, each diving in for a few strikes before breaking contact, and another taking their place. As far as weaponry, they would likely use spears, halberds, and pikes, long-range weapons to keep up that distance.
In broader, military terms, I would think the pegasus army's best weapons would simply be the weather: torrential downpours to muddy up the ground and restrict enemy troop movement, hailstorms to pound and distract, and in more extreme cases, thunder storms to rain down lightning.
Finally, we come to Earth Ponies, and they are the brawlers. They don't have the deft speed or flight of a pegasus or the ranged magic of a unicorn, but they make up for that with being the most "hardy" tribe, high Strength, high Constitution, medium Dexterity. Once again, it makes sense when you think about it. Hell, Applejack literally kicks trees for a living... and it;s the tree that loses. It's very hard to take out a well-trained earth pony in one-on-one combat. Think of Homer Simpson in a boxing ring: they can simply take more damage than their opponent. But instead of standing their like a goon waiting for the other guy to tire himself out, they can do serious damage.
I would think that an earth pony martial art would be almost a response to the other tribes. It would likely be something very similar to the Army Combatives style: a hybrid of Greco-Roman Wrestling, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Japanese Judo, and Russian Sambo. While there are hand strikes, there aren't any kicking techniques. The primary focus is on grappling. As one of my MACP instructors once pointed out, "95% of the fights in your life that actually matter will end up on the ground." If you just want to hurt someone, a simple punch will usually do the job. But if your goal is to take them out of the fight, or even kill them, going to the ground is the best way. And that would be the focus for an earth pony fighter: get in quick, grapple them, get them to the ground, and dominate them, with a focus on arm-bars to break limbs and choke holds to kill. I don't know if you've ever been properly choked, but it's not fun. A proper blood choke is almost instantaneous. In the combatives matches I've been in, I've never lasted more than a second or two in a good choke hold before tapping, because once they get that arm under your chin, ya done, son.
Of course, an earth pony army would be at one serious disadvantage: they don't have magic. But... what if they did?
Another fantastic story from the early days of the fandom is the seminal adventure fic It's A Dangerous Business, Going Out Your Door. Much like the name implies, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity go on a Tolkien-esque quest. Eventually, they meet up with a society of earth ponies who can do a very interesting trick. By focusing their magic, they can "Hold," I think they called it, basically becoming immovable and nigh-invulnerable. The more astute of you might remember that I blatantly jacked took inspiration from this for a scene in Finding Your Place, where Greeny the dragon goes to squash earth pony Jeckel... and breaks his fucking hand. The Immortal Game also touched on this, with Applejack being able to instantly heal wounds. In fact, one of my criticisms of that story is that it barely played into the extreme psychological damage that basically dying constantly would do to Applejack. I think there was one throwaway line about it. But eh, that's my biggest gripe with that fic, it focused too much on Twilight and her struggles. Even Rarity didn't get proper closure by being the one to kill... well, spoilers.
Also, there's a very cool picture I saw on Deviant Art a long time ago. I directly post it, because it;s gory as fuck, but it's one of my favorite images. It shows Applejack being killed by a group of Diamond Dogs. However, as they are leaving, they hear her say something. They turn, and are horrified to see Applejack's broken, disemboweled body regenerating and actual tendrils of earth growing into her legs from the ground. She says, "You can't kill an earth pony on Equestrian soil." Here is a link to the picture, so you can check it out if you want, but like I said, it's bloody.
This actually led me to think that when fighting, an earth pony soldier would do whatever they could to always keep one hoof on the ground. The thinking is that if they left the ground, they would somehow lose their connection to the earth, and would be weakened. And actually, trained pegasi warriors would perform a daring move where they would lift up the earth pony to take them out. This is, of course, an incredibly dangerous move, because as we discussed, a pegasus in striking range is at serious risk.
So why have I seemingly put so much thought into this? Well, two reasons:
Firstly, I only thought all this up because I wanted to give a leg up to earth ponies. I always love the underdog and the idea of the "surprising badass." I used to see all the time stories and art where an earth pony character would be shit upon in some way by the other tribes or an enemy because, "Oh, you don't have magic!" Well, I like the idea of they don't need magic to absolutely wreck your shit.
Secondly, this all came from a very old idea I had, actually inspired by The Moonstone Cup. It would have been set in a sort of Medieval Equestria AU. The main character would have been Caramel, as an ex-conscript from the Army working on Sweet Apple Acres, who used to train under an earth pony martial arts master. Then, through shenanigans, he gets entered into a fighting tournament, similar to the one in Moonstone. I think I remember it being almost like Mortal Kombat, where nations would pit fighters against each other to settle border disputes, trade deals, etc as a way to try and avoid all-out war. I don't remember much about the actual plot, but it would have had Caramel going up against fighters from the other tribes and other races. The only thing I really remember is that he would fight a Diamond Dog whose fighting style would be to literally dig through the earth to pop up and hit him. This wouldn't have been against the rules, because technically, he never left the ground. Caramel would then focus his connection with the earth to feel where the Dog would be appearing and wreck him.
So... yeah! That's my little rant on theoretical pony fighting styles. No real point to it all, but like most things revolving around fanon and headcanon, it's fun to think about. What do you think? I mean, if you ever even thought about it. Let me know!
Never forget that I fucking love you all. Til next we meet stay safe, stay free, and stay metal! Jake The Army Guy out!
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Tribe-specific combat techniques always make for a fascinating discussion, and getting the perspective from someone who's served makes for some especially intriguing reading. No argument with what you've presented here; it's a logical set of approaches to combat backed by some quality fics.
Though I will note that I tend to expand earth pony magic along some esoteric lines. Among other things, I like to make them the necromancers of Equestria, for decay is as much a part of the cycle as growth.
That's why, in some stories, I've made Berry Punch a practitioner of Drunken Hoof. Now, I don't mean imitating the motions of a drunk to make yourself harder to predict. I mean touches (or punches) that magically ferment the enemy's blood sugar on contact to simultaneously drain their energy and intoxicate them, because Berry can make booze out of anything. It's also a good way to get rowdy customers out of the bar without doing any lasting harm. (After all, they can't come back if they're in the hospital.)
Earth pony fighting like:
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My only problem with the "Drunken Hoof" technique is she would literally be mobbed every single day with ponies begging her to, "Do me! DO me!"
"...certified in MACP, the Modern Army Combatives Program..."
Um. I had to Google it because my son's in the Army in Germany. The first hit for MACP now is Married Army Couples Program. I'm sure there are still fights involved, but...
(checks some more) Ahh, there we go, Ft. Benning has it. That's much better.
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I spent thirteen years in the Army, and while I was never married, I knew countless soldiers who were. Therefore, I can confirm, with complete confidence, that marriage in the Army is more like combat than a relationship.
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When you order a shot of the house special, make sure Berry knows which house special you have in mind.
My hot take on the species was almost entirely similar! Honestly, the fact that we're on close wavelengths is pretty cool.
If you'll allow me to exposit on my takes a little:
- My take on unicorns was based on a similar observation to you that, magic aside, they're physically the weakest of the three (or the least likely to need to be physically fit; not that weak and fragile aren't necessarily the same thing here) and would probably try to substitute magic for CQC if necessary. That said, you don't always get that option, and assuming that a unicorn was caught in a situation and wasn't able to cheat with magic, I'd assume their conclusion would be: "my opponent is stronger than me, and will be better at defeating someone like himself than i would."
To that extent, I assumed that they would primarily be interested in martial arts that use their opponent's energy against them in some regard. Aikido is an excellent example, but I'd put Judo up there as well, and to a similar extent any martial art that relies on energy redirection. An emphasis on throws never hurts: an unbalanced or prone opponent is an opponent that's giving you time to back off, gain some distance, and reassess the situation to find the best possible solution.
- Good call on Pegasi getting the most out of hit-and-run tactics and reach: when you have mobility, you don't need to keep things in close. Assuming they're not in a situation where they're allowed to use such tactics, I figured that they would apply similar principles to a dissimilar situation: hit your opponents, but don't let them get close enough to hurt you (and, when you're as light as a bird and have the bone density to match, it's not a bad idea to kite.)
In that regard, I figure that they'd be the most likely to pick a fighting style with hard punches and kicks, emphasizing reach and the ability to launch strikes quickly. Redirecting energy in the same way that a unicorn could might be viable, but it's more risky for a theoretically more fragile species to let someone get that close than it would be for the boneheads. Assuming that their fragility is compensated for by strength (and given the implied military traditions of the pegasus tribe, i'd assume that a focus on martial prowess can be attributed partly to a talent for such a thing), then their goal is to take someone out before they can even get in a position to hurt you. Taekwondo is something I absolutely associate with pegasi martial artists, as well as Karate and related strike-centric arts (kickboxing being another solid example, and possibly Muay Thai, though i'm on the fence about that one for reasons given below.)
- I've always assumed that Earth ponies made up for a lack of magic or wings by being really friggin' hard to hurt; accordingly, their martial arts would focus on doing things that emphasize the weaknesses of other ponies. Unicorns can redirect showy attacks, but they can't redirect something right in their face. Pegasi are good if they can keep a distance - so don't give them distance to work with. I'm not sure if Earth Ponies would be the strongest opponents, but I've always assumed they would be the scariest, because there's only so much you can do to keep them off of you - and when they're on you, you're as good as dead.
Where i'm going with this is grapples, joint locks, chokes, clinches, ground fighting, submission holds - if it tells your opponent "you're not allowed to do that any more," then it plays to an earth pony's strengths, because they're strong enough and tough enough to be the last word in any martial discussion. They might not win in a contest of speed, they might not have any tricks up their sleeve - but all that means is that you need to be tough enough to withstand a few hits until your opponent slips up or puts themselves in a corner. If they incorporate strikes into their mix, then it's more for short, powerful jabs than long, sweeping blows. I love associating them with Jiu-Jitsu (particularly Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu;) for more strike-centric styles, I feel that Sambo works well, as does Muay Thai: unlike pegasi, earth ponies can afford to get close enough to freely incorporate Elbow/Knee strikes into their offense without having to worry about getting unbalanced or caught out and subsequently overpowered.
As you can see: similar premises, similar conclusions - though nothing's entirely lined up perfectly. Still! I'll take your post to heart, particularly as it's written by someone with actual CQC fighting experience.
EDIT: damn it, the more i read your post, the more i realize that we're exactly spot-on and that this was essentially just parroting. I guess if i had to find stuff to actually disagree about, it'd be unicorns using JKD (last-ditch effort or not, that sort of aggression with unicorn physiology is probably going to result in them not getting much done while exposing themselves to a lot more pain) and earth ponies practicing judo (they don't need to worry about redirecting energy when they are the strongest motherfuckers in the room, so there are other martial schools incorporating throws that would allow them to take a more proactive approach to downing an opponent.)
Sambo is nuts. The doctrine is "all confrontations should occur under one meter from the ground".
I never liked the weather manipulation thing with the pegasi. I thought it was silly the way they had factories and shit to produce snowflakes and liquid rainbows and that was too ridiculous to adapt into something meant for fighting without making it too strong. The thing is, what grabbed my attention was that, in season 1’s slumber party episode, Twilight mentioned that the pegasi had to get a storm going because they fucked up their schedule. This suggests to me that the pegasi still have rules regarding how they produce weather. They can’t just whip up a storm as they pleased. If they did, there would be long term consequences. They also can’t just not have any storms because they don’t want to. They HAVE to do it.
For physiological things, my original plan for depicting earth ponies was that they were much bigger and stronger than the other pony types. On average, an Earth Pony mare would be bigger and stronger than a pegasus or unicorn stallion. Because they have to maintain the ability to fly, pegasi would be smaller, with light bird-like bones and light musculature. Their wings would be bigger than what is shown in the show as well. Because unicorns primarily use telekinesis to move things, it would make sense that they would evolve with atrophied musculature as well just like a race of humans that evolved without ever having to push, pull, or lift objects with their body.
The show doesn’t bother with this shit, however. Probably due to budget constraints or whatever. Applejack, and possibly Pinkie Pie, should be bigger and stronger than the rest of the Mane 6. Rainbow Dash is shown matching her in hoof-wrestling even though Rainbow barely even walks while Applejack uses her legs a lot.
I simply try this simple exercise. Say you’re designing an MMORPG on Equestria. You got pegasi who are agile and can fly. You got unicorns who can cast spells. Now, as the developer, convince me that picking earth pony is a worthwhile choice.
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I agree with your point on JKD. Reading up on it more, it is a more aggressive style of fighting. I think a unicorn, if forced to engage in CQC, would likely take the approach of, "Okay... come on." That is, waiting for your opponent to make the first move and then reacting, redirecting the energy and throwing them off balance. Especially against an earth pony whom they couldn't hope to out-muscle, it really would be more about knocking them prone while expending as little energy as possible. That way, while they are taking the precious time to get back up and reorient themselves, you can be reclaiming your weapon or ready a spell. So, yeah, Judo works much better.
As far as earth ponies go, your comments remind me of the dreaded "Clinch Drill." It comes on the second to last day of MACP Level 1 training, and everyone hates it. Basically, you have to approach an instructor and get them clinched. You don't even take them down, just get the clinch. And while this is happening... the instructor is literally punching you in the face. Like... hard. And you can't punch back, at all. The point of it is twofold:
1) reinforce the idea that the quickest and most effective way to end a fight is to take it to the ground.
2) get you used to being punched in the face. Literally. Because again, it makes you realize the importance of getting your opponent off their feet.
Also, if I may channel Mud Briar for a moment... Technically, I never said earth ponies would be using pure Judo. Merely that elements of the art are present in MACP. Unlike the Marine Corps, the Army doesn't teach many actual throws, for the very reason you said: it simply works better to get close and maintain that closeness. It focuses on body control, that is getting on top of your opponent and denying them any appreciable range of movement, and teaches how to regain that control.
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Yeah, with the weaponized weather thing, that was mainly going off of fan theories on how it could work. I once read a story where the girls were about to fall off of a waterfall to their deaths. Rainbow Dash then gathered water vapor from the sea spray to create a cloud, while Twilight cast the cloud walking spell, so they wouldn't fall.
That said, even if it was some huge hassle, it would still be an incredibly potent weapon. If your scouts give you enough advanced warning about the direction an enemy army is approaching, I can totally see the factories churning out enough storm clouds to muddy up the ground enough to hinder movement. And modern times as well as ancient history have shown us that in times of war, governments can and will take control of civilian factories to buff up their forces. Just look at the rate at which US ports churned out ships for the Navy in WWII.
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Ahhh. What you said about Judo makes a lot more sense in that regard. Thanks for clearing that up.
Also the clinch drill seems like a highly painful and highly effective way of drilling those lessons into your head. Kudos on making it through.
Going back to table top terminology, Earth Ponies would have more Wounds.
Stepping away from combat, I like to imagine the increased vitality, or Constitution, contributes to the ability to fight disease and parasites. Also an easier time in childbirth. The latter could explain why they seem to make up a larger portion of Equestria’s population, and some have huge families/clans. That theory also helps avoid racist/classes coding about promiscuousness in our stories.
Moving on to weaponized martial arts, I can't help but think of what their weapons would be. Weapons similar to brass knuckles and punch daggers would be most prevalent for sidearms with polearms as one's main weapon. Swords, maces and axes would be basically unheard of in pony armies because of the lack of graspers and using one's mouth to attack with being suicidal stupidity.
Very interesting and in depth. I actually sourced a lot for my own, far less in depth blog on Earth pony martial arts from the official MLP RPG, where Earth ponies can in fact heal with a touch. So I extrapolated from there that if they can heal, they can also hurt via the same method.
Your blog is excellent when it comes to physical damage infliction and avoidance in pony martial arts. Mine just took things a step further: What can they do with magic on top of that?
That thing about weather manipulation reminds me of my only true MLP OC: General Winter, Commander Hurricane's actual second-in-command written out of history for, well, doing the exact sorts of things anyone familiar with Russian defensive warfare would expect from a pony with that name, and looking way too much like the Windigos in the process. I haven't decided on whether they were a mare or a stallion, and the nature of the character lets me have that information outright lost in the Damnatio Memoriae so I can use them without having to bother.
(For why I don't have any other OCs, see the number of background ponies and toyline exclusives that I can shanghai into just about any possible role; long-dead historical characters are just about the only place they're lacking)
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Translation: spiked horseshoes that would be mandatory for dealing with pegasi tactics anyway.