Serious Updates · 8:49pm Nov 20th, 2019
Hey fimfiction. Long time, no see.
Sorry I haven’t been on to give you your usual dose of feels. I had a mental breakdown and quit my job and spent the last 9 days in the hospital.
But you guys are coming in on the middle of things. Let me tell you what happened.
Last Saturday I went out with my bestie for a night of drinks and dinner. It was great fun. I took the next day off work to get right with myself. And then I went to work on Monday.
Have you ever had that pit in your stomach kind of feeling where you know something bad is gonna happen? I had that feeling that Monday. Nonetheless I went to work, determined to make it through the day.
It was not to be.
From the moment I got on the phone I was told to “F*** off.”. I kept thinking in the back of my head what I’d say if I quit. And then between calls, the horrible thought of “What are you going to tell Raevyn when you can’t get to Pensacola?” Popped in.
I lost it. I told my supervisor I needed a minute and went to the bathroom to cry. When I calmed down, I realized I couldn’t do this job. I told my manager that, cleared my desk, and quit, before I went to the hospital.
The question of “What are you going to do now?” Haunted me. I’d quit my job. I’d likely go 12000 dollars in debt if my insurance didn’t cover me. Everything I was had to be stripped away, and I had to find me again.
I still don’t know what I’ll do, honestly. Pensacola seems like a dream or a wish I made that won’t come true. Childish fodder. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever get there. But I have to try, if only to be able to sleep at night.
So I’m sharing my PayPal link here. If you guys want to commission me or donate to me, it would be helpful since I don’t know when I’ll work again. But I hope you guys know that you were part of the reason I got help. Because I didn’t want to stop writing for you.
Thank you all.
It's okay, we are all here for you.
Important, incredibly hard decisions. Proud of you for putting your health first even if it pushes back your dream just that little bit. It is only a stumble. You will get there. Until you do, and even after, we will hold you close.
All the best to you
Oh no!!! Please be ok mama!
I want you to be happy, not stressed out.
Oh, yipes! That's a terrible feeling and, sadly, one that anyone in a Call Center / Customer Service has to deal with every day. What bothers me most is how the people you call, or call you, forget you are just doing a 'job'. 'You' are not the one making them do anything. You are merely performing a job duty to make a living like everyone else.
I've had a good number of times where my insides go into knots as a result of jobs. So I know the feeling quite a bit. As I've worked a Call Center for a grocery store corporation for almost 18 months I am glad I have learned how to disarm hostiles. Though, in a 'gotcha' way, I will tell them I'm totally blind, which is true, and it typically gets them to humble-up for a minute.
I think the biggest hurt on your end is you did try to put your heart into making this work. You've got a lot on your plate and are certainly not in need of anyone tearing you down more than you may already feel torn down at home.
I may be in for a commission but I first need to see how things are working out on my end. Plus I do believe you may be better, for the moment, taking time to turn all of what you've gone through into a story, or anthology. These kind of hurts and life-setbacks don't heal when under pressure. Just write to use outside characters to go through your feelings and you will get started on the healing process.
As I regret, I can't reply to comments. However, if you need someone to talk to, my Message Box is always open.
Sorry to hear what happened to you, I hope you get better soon.