• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Saturday

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts430

  • 1 week
    Short Hand: Aftermath of Science

    Shepherd: "Twiliiiiight! What the hell-Where did all these bits come from?!"

    He gestures to the pile of gold bits on the kitchen table.

    Twilight: "Ummmm..." taps her hooves together "I asked for donations from all the research participants... I set fifty bits as the minimum donation and well..."

    Shepherd: "... If I didn't know any better, I would swear you were pimping me out."

    Read More

    2 comments · 393 views
  • 1 week
    Short Hand: Tea Party

    Shepherd is invited to a tea party with Fluttershy and Discord.

    Shepherd: "Oh hey... Flying s'mores. Nice."

    Fluttershy: "Oh, I quite like them!"

    Discord: "Do I detect a hint of criticism in your tone, Shepherd?"

    Shepherd: "No. It's nice that you're still as food obsessed as a wine aunt on Twitter. Maybe you can put it on Instagram to impress other childless weirdos"

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    5 comments · 421 views
  • 1 week
    Short Hand: A New Generation 2

    Old Man Shepherd had taken Sunny and her friends to an ancient cavern, far from Maretime Bay.

    Hitch: "Uh huh... There a reason we're out here?"

    Izzy: "Is it a good reason? Like a secret candy stash? Ugh, two thousand year old candy! Gross!"

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    11 comments · 436 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: A New Generation...

    In the future, Shepherd, now an old but badass looking man, fell asleep... And then woke up in front of an Earth pony with orange fur, purple mane and tail, and a big smile.

    Shepherd: "Urgh... My head... What the hell happened...?"

    Sunny Starscout: "YES! IT WORKED! THE MAGIC WORKS!"

    Shepherd: "I... Who are you?"

    Read More

    13 comments · 508 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: Staying over at Rarity's

    After two straight days of his hostess pulling all nighters and exhausting herself, Shepherd finally has enough. He picks Rarity up and carries her to bed, even as she caterwauls and screams about it

    Rarity: "Shepherd?! What do you think you're doing?! Put me down this instant!"

    Shepherd: "You've been up for two whole days! Sleep time now!"

    Read More

    11 comments · 389 views

Hands: Correlation or Causation? · 3:27pm Nov 19th, 2019

After Fluttershy reforms Discord she ascends to alicornhood: Much to her and everyone else's surprise...

Shepherd: "Woah! That's amazing!"

Fluttershy: "O-Oh my..."

Twilight: *Hugs her with a smile* "Wow! Great work, Fluttershy! Welcome to the ranks of royalty!"

Shepherd: "Will she need her own castle?"

Fluttershy: "I-I hope not..."

Rainbow Dash: "So... Every pony who's ever slept with Shepherd has ascended to alicornhood, huh?

All eyes are now on Shepherd, who coughs

Shepherd: "I'm sure that had nothing to do with it... Right Twilight?"

Twilight: "Well, we can't rule it out as a factor without experimentation to determine if it's causation-SHEPHERD GET BACK HERE!"

Shepherd is running for his life.


And everyone else is galloping after him.




Twilight: "SCIENCE!"



Applejack: *rolls her eyes* "Hopeless, all of 'em..."

Report Andrew Joshua Talon · 671 views · Story: Hands · #hands #alicorns
Comments ( 6 )

Applejack: *rolls her eyes* "Hopeless, all of 'em..."

And then she adjusts her hat to better hide her horn. The wings she's kept close to her sides, letting change blindness do the work.

Hey, she's in no hurry to trade that hat for a tiara. They don't even realize she's Duchess Ponyville.

Also, the entire town is her Demesne, and therefore all seven of them, by virtue of being residents, are technically her property.

That poor guy is going to become a very popular fellow in Equestria whether he wants to or not. :rainbowlaugh:

Applejack: *rolls her eyes* "Hopeless, all of 'em..."

> Is still running after him

They are going to dry him!

The Grand Archmage watches as Shepherd runs past him, several strings of mares closing on his heels. He can only catch a few words in the galloping herd, but some of the phrases he caught indicated sex and coronation. Frowning, he shakes his head.

"THAT ISN'T HOW THAT WORKS!" Steevn shouts above the roar of the crowd, "NOW BECALM THY TEATS!"

"Uh, howdy there, stranger," a familiar voices says to Steve's right. The mage of the Terran Empire looks down to see a gamboge pony in a Stetson hat.

"Howdy," Steve replies.

"Say, uh, ya'll wouldn't happen to know how a pony becomes royalty, would ya?" this tangent's Applejack asks the human.

"I might know a thing or sixteen," Steve answers, "and I'm 99.99999999% certain that having sex with a man like Andrew Shepherd does not guarantee Ascension to Alacornhood."

"Ah, I see," Applejack says, "much obliged. Oh, 'fore I ferget, what's yer name, Stranger?"

"Steven," The Grand Archmage states, "Steven Edwin Ambrose, Grand Archmage of the Arcane Empire of Terra. And you're Applejack, owner/operator of Sweet Apple Acres."

"Well gosh," Applejack exclaims, "how'd ya know alla that?"

"Where I come from, there's another just like you," Steven answers, "right down the cute freckles that bridge your muzzle."

"Aw, shucks," Applejack says but before she can formulate a decent reply, there's a brilliant light and the human in sweeping robes is goneā€¦

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