Random Ramblings CCCLXXXVI · 8:20am Nov 15th, 2019
IN WHICH I (sort of) RISE FROM THE DEAD
Greetings, all. I'm alive, much to my own surprise. Have you seen this? You should. (Note: M-rated and 30min)
It's better than Double Rainboom. Granted that's not too high a bar. Follow me past the jump for apologies and stuff.
I promised myself I wouldn't upload another blog until I actually had something for you, and so I worked for the last day on Chapter 3 of EQUESTRIA GIRLS. If you don't understand it, don't worry. Neither do I. Full Disclosure: I sketched out Chapters 4 and 5 while on the plane to LA last month so I have some idea where this thing is going. Hopefully it'll make even less sense as it goes on.
I was just thinking today that I legit want to take one of these chapters and run it through a recursive translator program so that it comes out as total gibberish. I care very deeply about not caring.
SO. You might be wondering, as well you should, what happened to me for most of the past month.
I already mentioned in my last blogpost that I caught the Crud -- some sort of respiratory infection that had me laid up for a week. All I did was eat and sleep. Granted, that's how most of my days are, but this was more extreme and coupled with massive sinus drainage. Then my mother caught it and she was laid up for two weeks. She wonders if the fact that I got the flu shot before going to LA might have helped me recover quicker. Who knows.
Then my dad ended up in the hospital. Again. He was severely dehydrated and jaundiced. They let him out of the hospital a day or two before they should have because he was tired of being poked and prodded. That was on Friday the 25th of October and this time, I decided to stay with him at his house the entire weekend. He's a technological Luddite, so no internet for four days. Fortunately he had the good sense to ask me to stay until Monday. I spent the time making sure he took his medications, replacing light bulbs, doing household chores, and taking care of his dog. I also convinced him somehow to use a walker instead of his cane. Regrettably, he was not able to make it to the MST3K Live show I'd bought us tickets for. Mama went with me instead. She would have enjoyed it more if her hearing wasn't crap.
My dad can't speak and my mother can't hear. You can imagine what my job is when the three of us are in a room together.
On my dad's birthday, October 31st, I went back over to see him and gave him the servings of gumbo he'd asked for. My mother sent along a card saying "You made it!" (i.e. you're not dead yet).
This past Sunday, right before the first big winter storm of the season hit, mama and I both went to see him, do some cleaning, and bring him some homemade chili since he'd be iced in until Wednesday -- unlike us, he lives out in the country and the house is NOT disabled-friendly. He was in good spirits, his mind was sharp, and he was getting around better than he had been the week before, but he looked terrible.
Here's the short of it: my dad's liver is failing and, thanks to a depressive spiral this year when his cunt of a (hopefully) soon-to-be-ex-wife served him divorce papers, he very likely managed to take himself past the point of no return. Even if everything else in his body is doing reasonably well, that liver ain't. I'm not optimistic he'll live to see his next birthday. I'm hopeful he'll live to see this divorce through to its end and I hope he'll be better off once Raging Thundercunt (that's what she officially is in my phone) is out of the picture.
It's ironic that he can't deal with his own feelings yet has been the biggest cheerleader for my own seeking therapy. Not that my mother is against it, per se; she's just an unreconstructed hippie who believes in alternative holistic stuff. I don't even like to tell her when I go to the pharmacy and get vaccinated (for free! not gonna turn that down).
Legally, I'm very much an adult. However, due to my mental situation, I rarely feel like it. My mother lives with me (though she very much wants to move out when/if she has the money to do so).
The worry over my dad has caused me to have mental breaks. Many of my LGBT friends being extremely "woke" and increasingly aggressive in their beliefs isn't helping.
On Monday or Tuesday (not sure which), I literally spent all but five hours of the day asleep. Yes it was cold outside and that contributed, but mostly it was ennui. I didn't really feel depressed. I just slept for lack of anything better to do. Neither the spirit nor the flesh were there for writing, and for that I apologize.
I finally gave y'all something. No, it's not up to my old quality. I'm not sure if I can reach the highs I was able to pull off before this year. It's not that I don't want to work with Pony -- far from it. There's so much I wish I could do but know I probably won't get to. At the very least, I'll give this third universe the attention it deserves. It may surprise you, but there IS a story in here, it just won't be revealed until the next chapter, which I think is when the Dazzlings show up, I'll have to look at my notes.
The latest Babymetal album finally arrived from Japan a couple weeks ago. It is awesome. Like, there are 16 songs (the international version has 14) and all of them are great to one degree or another. I also bought Perfume's latest compilation, P-Cubed. The Limited Edition I bought is literally a cube.
On a sadder note, Ladybaby -- the first alt-Idol group I ever followed (thanks to my now-ex being a cosplayer and getting really into Ladybeard, who left the group over 3 years ago) -- is officially calling it quits two months from now. It's a damn shame. They're on their third lineup, only one original member left, but this version with four girls is by far my favourite. I recently imported their two live DVDs and just this afternoon dropped ¥8000 on merch from their store. Even though I can't go to Japan for their live shows, I want to support them to the end however I can.
On that note…
Peace out!
Thanks for the update! That sounds like a really rough time.
Welcome back! It's good to hear from you even if you don't have anything complete. And I feel you, I really do. I've been having a hard time too off and on. I'm sorry about your father, and I hope he manages to live through the divorce. Seeking therapy would definitely be good. I've gone twice so far. To sum up the main gist of it all, the first time was to come to grips with my past and realize it didn't define me anymore, and the second time's been to learn to accept the things I can't control. With other stuff sprinkled in both.