Hands Short: The Truth About Human/Pony Romance

Finally he asks...

Shepherd: "I don't get it! I'm a big, goofy alien! How am I so attractive to ponies?"

Twilight: "Well, aside from your kind and stupidly heroic personality-"

Shepherd: "Not just stupidly heroic, hmph."

Twilight: "The fact you can scratch, scritch, massage, caress and cuddle us in ways no stallion ever could also helps a lot."

Pinkie: "Also your skin tastes like salt!" *Licks him* "Mmmm... A mare could get drunk off you!"

Shepherd: "Oh, that's just what humans do. We sweat out salt from our pores."

Luna: "Zounds! You mean... ALL humans emit copious amounts of salt from their skin and have hands for scritching and massaging and scratching?"

Shepherd: "Well, most of us but-"

Luna: "NOW HEAR THIS! ALL RESEARCH IS NOW DEVOTED TO OPENING A PORTAL WITH THE HUMAN WORLD! WE WILL HAVE OUR SCRITCHES AND BELLY RUBS-FOREVERRRRR!"

Ponies: CHEERS!

Shepherd: "Well, I just doomed the human race."

Twilight: "Don't be so melodramatic! Now come on, back to belly rubs!"

Shepherd: "Yes dear."

Comments

[Wild Zontars]

"Well, I just doomed the human race."

I fail to see the problem.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/11/8/1581702.png

[My Little Epona]

Luna: "NOW HEAR THIS! ALL RESEARCH IS NOW DEVOTED TO OPENING A PORTAL WITH THE HUMAN WORLD! WE WILL HAVE OUR SCRITCHES AND BELLY RUBS-FOREVERRRRR!"

Any news on well this portal will be complete? I want to hug Pinkie Pie.

[Dan]

Not all human sweat follows the same chemistry. What if the portal opens in Japan? There's a reason they don't sell deodorant over there.

[Cauchemar]

5154142
You'll have to fight me for her. Unless the mirror pool is still around.

[DTavs exe]

So since I'm a salty mofo, this is my time to shine!

[A.P.O.N.I.]

I, for one, welcome our alien overlords.

[Time Waster]

Shepherd: "Well, I just doomed the human race."

Are you sure it's not the other way around?

[mew3]

5154168
Asian's have soy sauce. Your argument is irrelevant.

Send In The Ponies!!!

[TheDaringExplorer]

I'm more than okay with this.

[Dragon Turtle]

We use our sweat to sweep away all the filth on our skin and in our pores. That's disgusting! Then again, this is the species that picks up most everything with its mouths, so playing wirh microscopic fire is in-character.

5154140
Where is that from?

[Wild Zontars]

5154387
Top half is a tweet that became a meme, bottom half is art by arareroll (careful, a lot of their stuff is what I'd call "wholesome NSFW", often casual pony "nudity" that's easy to miss if you were about to share the cute image).

[NachoTheBrony]

5154168
The only difference is underarm sweat. Body sweat is exactly the same.