PPP: rewrites and authors notes · 6:15pm Nov 4th, 2019
Onward to lewds
Oh boy... it's been a wild ride this time around. Maybe I'm just used to the casual sex universe since I've been writing and reading it for the last few months, but I did not think the story would be as controversial as it was. Still, it's great to read those discussions rather than staring at my upvote to downvote ratios screaming, "THE NUMBERS, MASON, WHAT DO THEY MEAN?" (Though, after a few days I was definitely over reading giant paragraphs about the ethics of coercive sex in pony porn).
Regardless, I care about comments and feedback a lot so thanks to everyone who provided a voice the last few days. You've influenced my feelings on the project significantly and I feel excited to show you what the future chapters will contain as a result.
What this project is
One of the things I learned during Bad Blood was how inadequate my clop writing felt. Most people thought it got the job done but I struggled to fill out scenes, and knew I wanted to get better by practicing on another story. PPP is that story. I added the casual sexquestria thing just because it's something I've always wanted to do.
Currently, PPP is about 40k pre-written so far, making it already more than double that of Bad Blood. Depending on how the plot scenes play out, it's going to be anywhere between 60-80k. Kinda stupid length for a story designed to practice clop writing but it is what it is. I get bored when writing porn so I need to do story driven stuff sometimes.
I have a backlog of casual sex-questria ideas that are short, so I'll do more isolated clopshots in the future. Probably. Feel free to chuck your ideas at me.
So has PPP helped me get better? Hell yeah. I feel like I’ve improved a lot and have the toolset for tackling Bad Blood the way it should be.
With that stuff out of the way, let’s address some common comments.
IS THIS RAPE?
I don’t fucking know. By our standards, probably. It’s social coercion so it’s probably sexual harassment at the very least. It’s not meant to be overly dark, deconstructive (at least deconstructing consent themes), or rapey, but sex in this story has some social expectations. Some of you might know the term Free Use, which is a similar idea. If that’s not your thing, this isn’t the story for you as that is part of the setting here. The theme of reluctance is constant in this one. I recognize a lot of people want a more casual casual-sexquestria, so maybe I'll do some of that in the future too.
A REWRITE FOR THE INTERVENTION
I’ve thought an awful lot about a rewrite for the intervention scene, but right now I want to see the reactions to later chapters first and give it some more thought. I think people’s feelings on Anon folding too fast make sense, but it would be extremely hard to write a longer, more intricate narrative scene in that section while also leading Anon to the same conclusion/plot path and also not impacting pacing too much.
Doing all these things at the same time is kinda daunting.
I think it’s still due a revisit at some point, but right now, I have an idea for a later chapter that MIGHT remedy things. We'll see.
TAGS
The story tags should be accurate for now, but as the story goes on, more things will be added. To keep the synopsis clean looking, I’ll be doing a tag outline for the story in a blogpost as chapters come out.
Edit : as I wrote this I have only read the first three chapter, so this covers ONLY those.
Hm my two cents on the things raised.
Anon folding like a cheap suit is not that strange, as he does not seems to have a specific important personal reason to refuse intimacy apart from being somewhat spooked and defaulting on proper expected behavior in human society. It may be the opposite even that is strange... that is that he has not yielded before or at least investigated the expectations of the society... but it can be given to the spookiness of the new situation.
The intervention... As I’ve already said it shows as quite forceful for what is fundamentally a etiquette faux pas, also the reaction of the mane six is a bit extreme...
I mean he IS a completely different kind of creature who, among other things, stays dressed all the time. Asking before assuming would be more sensible especially for Twi, Fluttershy and Rarity...
The scene with Starlight... well that is really undermining the “casual” part of the equation making it forced and expected that a mare has to swallow, as I said on other comment this skew the point of view to a strongly male centric description. It gets a bit corrected in the Rarity episode, but still... it is not that believable... or better said it implies a really disturbing societal expectation.
I don’t really know if it is the aim, but it may be balanced out with “activities” more aimed at the satisfaction of mares. And desires from mares that are not blatantly male fantasies ^^;;;
I was definitely facepalming after taking a look at some of the more heated comments the other day. The ethics of this imagined society seem pretty easy to follow, and I looked at it as some goofy, porny, comedy gold.
Getting triggered so hard by it just seemed a bit silly, but what do I know?
I really don't think you deserved all the crap you got on this. I've seen far more morally reprehensible fics that had few, if any tags to indicate what I would be reading about. It must be this whole #MeToo biz that's seeping into the way some view fanfiction.
I don't think you need to change anything of your story. It is after all your story in a way you imagined it and no one should tell you how to write your own story. If these people can't stomach this scenario then they should just click on another of countless stories that are out there and there are waaaaaay darker and more messed up stories out there (wich funny enough didn't get as much flak as your story did)
I also enjoyed your story immensly so far and the later chapters got even better as the characters realize one downside of this society and how a deeper bond can enhance the whole sexual thing. If those people can't at least aknowledge that then I doubt you will get far trying to discuss it with them without screeching and beeing offended.
I hope you won't get discouraged from this and want again to thank you for writing this. I'm looking forward to more.
5150547
Honestly, Bahamuttone makes some good points here. However, I don't think he's correct about the intervention scene, solely for the fact that one doesn't quickly discard the values one has held their entire lives up to that point as anon does. Three months to half a year is not a long enough period of adjustment for that sort of thing, proven by the current studies we have in psychology. Next, the mane 6's reactions are perfectly reasonable. In the setting you've set, it would be impossible to predict how someone would react as opposed to their canon versions. Therefore, as the author, however the characters react, bar certain characteristics such as Rarity being generous, is completely up to the author themselves. That being said, like many, I think that it would make more sense for the mane 6 to seek to understand rather than lashing out; or failing that, seeking forgiveness for lashing out instead of understanding. Finally, I agree with Bahamuttone on the Twilight, Starlight bit. I want to add that Twilight abuses her authority as a mentor figure here as well.
5163195
The point is... Anon does NOT appear to have a PARTICULAR value on abstinence/avoidance of sex. That is considered a value in Judeo Christian mentality and that has had great influence in the current world BUT at the current time it is more of a common practice than a "value" held as something that it is intrinsically valuable. It is simply not accepted practice.
5163214
Yes and no. I'm not saying that Anon holds any regard for abstinence where sex is concerned, nor am I claiming any religious significance. Like you said, his preference in either regard isn't known. What is known is that since Anon was refraining from sex the entire time he's been in equestria, he's obviously been influenced by said "common practice" which indicates that he's likely to have grown up in a society where such ideas as abstinence towards sex are actually common practice. As such, it makes little sense for him to disregard the ideas he's used to and suddenly decide to have sex with whomever at the drop of a hat. As I stated before, it requires a lot of time to change one's mindset. A single intervention is not enough for someone to suddenly decide to change how they do things. For example, if someone is used to eating home cooked meals was picked up and tossed in a place where the common practice is to eat literal shit, I think it would take some convincing for that person to change their habits, if at all.
5165363
Not really. It is usual for people under stress to just go on with standard response and being ported in a world of lewd colorful ponies is certainly stressful so until there has been a strong outside push that has taken him off the groove it is normal that he kept at that as it is “normal” once the social acceptability of that behavior comes to light he can make a conscious decision on it and there he is not particularly blocked.
On your simile, well that is NOT equivalent in the slightest as eating shit is QUITE deleterious.
Here the pony behavior is neutral in the end.
5165401
Yes really, people are generally very resistant to change as evidenced by the fact that, as you've stated, in stressful situations people generally stay the course. In addition, Anon has had time to come to terms with his situation. I would imagine that three to six months is more than long enough to overcome any stress generated by the transit to equestria. Plus, Anon already knows that habitual sex between friends is socially acceptable as ponies obviously seem to do it all the time, and it's given about as much consideration as talking about the weather. Anon is also obviously attracted to them as well. That being said, he still refrained from participating which tells me that he decided to cling to the idea of sex as an intimacy one performs with those they are closest to.
Secondly, I agree that my comparison was extreme, but it does make sense. Let me fix the comparison and further it a bit: Rather than shit, lets say doughnuts instead. Also, let's say that there is a stigma around eating doughnuts so that people generally only eat one with someone they're close to. If someone who eats home cooked meals every day, is thrust into a society where the common practice is to typically eat doughnuts everyday. I would think that there would be some resistance to the change.
5165458
5165401
I love seeing debate in my comment areas. Always gives me way more insight.
As far as I read, it seems the debate is over whether someone would want to change if you dropped them into a new culture. In my experience, it depends on a few factors.
The first is the person's penchant for conforming and how much social confidence they have. If they feel uncomfortable standing out, they'll be more likely to conform. Then there's how closely held those cultural mantras are. This is one reason why religious beliefs tend to stay with people even when they move to new cultures.
Anon originally was written pretty socially beta. He clearly doesn't want to upset his friends and lies to them to avoid conflict. He isn't comfortable exposing himself to his friends and even going out of his comfort zone is a bit of an ordeal. I felt this would make him easy enough to sympathize with and provide conflict, but I think that characterization has led to mixed results. With the rewrite, he's going to have a just a pinch more confidence, but more importantly, have better reasons for going along with the lessons.
The third, and likely the most important factor, is the reason a person finds themselves in a new culture. For some immigrant families, their reasons for moving can be economic or violence based adversity in their home nation. They tend to cling more to their home cultures because they really never saw anything wrong with them in the first place. They never WANTED to leave their culture behind and likely miss their home. Alternatively, there are also immigrants who move to more prosperous nations simply to improve their lives. These immigrants tend to appreciate the new benefits of the culture and often make a conscious choice to adapt to it.
In Anon's case, he's neither. He's been unceremoniously dropped into Equestria via unnamed plot device (as with most HiE's these days), and ergo, didn't leave his world due to adversity, nor made a choice to move there. This leaves him in a much more neutral position. Equestria is also incredibly similar to his culture so there are few issues for him.
I also never intended to give him any specifically judeo christian values on sex and marriage, though you could argue its there unconsciously for sure. He does have feelings regarding intimacy, and those beliefs are pretty uniform in the west. You COULD call them judeo christian values, but most cultures value partner loyalty over ease of sex. This issue isn't emphasized in the story YET but I intend to go into that. It's just important that topics are rolled out gradually, rather than all at once. Anon otherwise wants to have sex about as much as any of us, so it's not like he doesn't want to fuck his friends in the first place. It's mostly more specific character hangups, rather than earth morals getting in the way.
5165608
Cool, glad you could clear that up for us!