Hands Short: Uncommon Bond · 6:56pm Nov 3rd, 2019
*Sunburst and Starlight have their issues... And Shepherd is asked to help out*
Shepherd: *Guides Sunburst away* "Okay, look, bud: Let's get a beer-Or hard cider-and talk about this, okay?"
Sunburst: "But-But alcohol can cause brain damage-"
Shepherd: "Oh my God, is this what I was like before I came to Equestria? Holy shit, you really need some booze!"
Later, at a bar...
Shepherd: "For God's sake Sunburst, stop sipping: Drink like a stallion already!"
Sunburst: "Um, o-okay..." *Sips more*
Shepherd: "Okay, that's a start. Look: You can't be so oblivious to not notice what Starlight wants, right?"
Sunburst: "... Friendship?"
Shepherd: "DUDE! She wants... To BANG YOU. She wants to marry you and have foals and so on! Jesus Christ, you cannot be this dense!"
Sunburst: "Um, w-w-well, um... I mean, I guess, on some level, I knew-"
Shepherd: "But?"
Sunburst: "But... She's... Terrifying!"
Shepherd: "... Well I'll grant you that. She did literally create a cult and try to destroy all of time and space because she lost you. That would make the Yandere Simulator feel like she wasn't trying hard enough."
Sunburst: "Huh?"
Shepherd: *Waves it away* "Forget it, Earth reference. But the truth is? All women seem terrifying to men, especially magic women! Especially ones who love you and would probably reshape reality for you! Or over you. Love can make you crazy. And that's terrifying when they have magic! But, love can also be deeply rewarding. Not just in terms of sex, mind you, because that's awesome."
Sunburst: "Ah, um-"
Shepherd: "I mean, my marefriends have issues, I have issues, so we can work them out in some rather intense ways. I mean I have my limits and so do they but it's never boring! And it can be scary but also fun and exciting, like a rollercoaster. A sweaty, shapeshifting, kinky rollercoaster."
Sunburst: "But I-"
Shepherd: "And given how crazy Starlight is, if she devoted all that craziness to you and your relationship? Well, sir. I almost feel jealous. But it takes a strong willed stallion to try and navigate that much crazy. A smart one, too. You don't know if you are that stallion until you try."
Sunburst: "B-B-But what if we-"
Shepherd: "But what?! She already literally nearly ended all of existence! That's it! The worst case scenario has already happened and been undone! All right? So with that in mind, what are you afraid of?"
Sunburst: "... Well... I mean, I guess if you put it that way, yeah. But-"
Shepherd: "But! But nothing! Look, do you like her?"
Sunburst: "I-Yeah-"
Shepherd: "Think she's pretty?"
Sunburst: "Absolutely but-"
Shepherd: "And you know she's into you! Just go up to her, and tell her you like her and you want to go on a date. That's it!"
Sunburst: "Th-That's it?!"
Shepherd: "That's it. Come on, Sunburst. I was a shy, obsessive nerd on my homeworld before coming here. And then I met the girls of my dreams. Yes it's still terrifying but that's what makes life worth living! You should at least try it! One date. That's all."
Sunburst: *Gulps... Then downs more booze, before wiping his snout* "I... All right... One date."
*He trotted out to where Starlight was waiting. Shepherd continued to sip the booze as Sunburst cleared his throat. Sunburst nervously said a few things... Starlight lit up, and pounced on him, kissing him and pushing him to the ground. The Ponies around all began to watch, some disgusted, some intrigued.*
Shepherd: "And my work here is done."
Shepard: "Look, you love this pony, don't you?"
Starburst: "Well... yes."
Shepard: "You wanna hold her?!"
Starburst: "Yes!"
Shepard: "Please her?!"
Starburst: "Yes!"
Shepard: "THEN YA GOTTA, GOTTA TRY A LITTLE TENDERNEEE-EEEES!!!"
On the flip side though, a wise man once said; 'never stick your dick in crazy'. And boy is Starlight crazy.
Personally I’m a Stixie fan but I can accept you being a fan of one of the other ships
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I dunno, there's crazy and there's megalomania. One is dangerous, the other will usually net you a ride on a train straight up.