Major Life Upheaval · 5:14am Oct 25th, 2019
Hello FIMfiction,
Okay, what I’m about to say isn’t easy to admit. For starters, I got kicked out of medical school. Ouch. 
The school had concerns that my performance in a clinical setting has been below the school’s standards for professionalism, and the administration has noticed that I began exhibiting such deficiencies since last year. For those reasons, they no longer wish for me to continue with my medical education. If I do still want to become a doctor, I will have to go through the application process all over again and restart from year 1. 
I know. It’s cruel and unfair, but I’ve been called in to defend myself so many times already that I’m getting utterly sick of it, so I’m just going to walk away with whatever dignity I have left and find something else to do with my life. 
There’s something else. Prior to all these professionalism concerns, I had been doing well academically. My clinical performance plummeting so badly has forced me to confront something that I’ve been denying since 2015. In 2015, a doctor that I was shadowing suspected that I might be on the autism spectrum and had arranged for me to get tested. The test came back abnormal. I was supposed to go to therapy for it for at least 6 months but pulled out at 2 months because neither of my parents and I believed that I actually had it. Also, I believed that even if I did have it, I had somehow hidden it for this long, so I should be able to hide it for the rest of my life, right? Yeah, WRONG!
Okay, so I’ve been doing my homework, and apparently, in autism advocacy circles, there’s been a greater push for clinicians to better understand what autism looks like in girls because autism experts believe that autism tends to be under-diagnosed in girls because they don’t exhibit the symptoms commonly found in boys. I’m not proud of what I am about to admit, but I initially brushed it off as a side effect of the feminist movement making women want to look for convenient excuses to act like jerks. Yeah, well, this was before I got called in twice for coming off as a jerk to the patients despite my best efforts and intentions. 
Before I move on, I should clarify something. Technically, the school can’t kick me out for having autism because that would be a legal liability on their part. However, I think the fact that I tried to hide it during my first two years probably tipped the scale in their favor. They had actually suggested that I might need accommodation when I started struggling in this one class, but I refused to seek it out. Man, I’m admitting A LOT of things that I’m not proud of today, aren’t I?
Now that I’m being retested for autism and am more willing to accept the possibility that I might have it, I’m looking back on my life, and the weird things that I did as a kid and teenager start making sense. For example, I used to get crying fits every few months or so in elementary school despite being relatively quiet and well-behaved the rest of the time. It also explains a few more recent occurrences like that time I ranted about the live-action Beauty and the Beast remake for three days straight. 
Well, on the bright side, now I won’t have to force myself to go through my 2-year writing hiatus. However, I probably won’t be writing for a while. I’m still in a fragile place emotionally speaking. 
Plus, I need to start looking for a job.
Trust me, I know that feeling all too well. Mother insisted since I was two years old that I had Autism. It didn't get confirmed until I was almost 26 years old and even then, it took them two and a half years and four different 'psychologists' for them to admit that they let me, in their words, "slip through the cracks".
This, mind you, was after the fact that we worked for four years just to get the medical information from the doctors I had as a toddler and child until the age of eleven, almost twelve.
I was born exactly 3 months and 2 weeks to the day early, and people find such things exciting now... think about - i.imgur.com/Z0amRO5.jpg
Sorry to hear that. I hope you find something else to do in life that's fulfilling. I don't know much about autism, but I do know a lot of people have done great things despite having it. I know you'll find a nice job, because you're a really nice person and anyone would be lucky to have you as an employee.
I'm sorry for the sudden end of things. I can relate. Feel free to PM if you want to talk. But like Banshee, I believe you will find something. As they say, when one door opens another opens.
Would you like a 'hug'?
I am so sorry that happened to you. Truth is I also suffer from autism a bit, more specifically Asperger Syndrome. I have struggled with it a lot over the years and I was given a lot of accommodations in school because of it. I won't lie, it was a struggle but it wasn't impossible. Despite my autism I have accomplished a lot and I know you can too!
Good luck looking for a job in the future. Even if you still don't post any new stories on here for awhile we will still wait patiently.
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Yes, please.
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*hugs*
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Feeling better?
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Yeah, a little.
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Want another hug?
Oh, girl, I am so sorry...
I know how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly, but I can totally relate to the struggles you described. You know, I'm almost certain that I'm in the authism spectrum as well. I've had some similar unusual behaviour in my past as well. Unfortunately in my country it's not as easy for me to get tested, mostly for economic reasons. But still, I know for a fact that having some level of authism doesn't stop you from achieving great things. It stinks really bad that they kicked you out of the place you wanted. But if God has a plan for you, He'll find a way to put you in the right path, whether it be in Medicine or something else. It's tough now, I know. But everything will get better soon, I know it. I'll be praying for you. Good luck finding a job.
Also, lots of hugs.
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Okay, last hug.
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*hugs*
Sorry for not seeing this sooner but I've also been going through some things too but anyway I'm sorry this happened to you and as someone who has a learning disability I know how hard it is to find acceptance from people who don't understand anything about our situations, and I'm with Ro994 I think God has a better plan for you and that something will come up. At this moment I feel we're in the same boat since I have to rethink on my life too and I don't know what to do. So I want you to know you're not alone on this and I pray that things will get better for all of us what with the world as it is. I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck.
Oh my goodness, I saw this a bit late, but my heart breaks for you. I'm sorry.
I hope you find another job that you love and that you're passionate about. Any employer would be lucky to have you on the team.