Friendship is Card Games: Better Together, Season 2, Part 5 · 12:22pm Oct 20th, 2019
We’re not through by a long shot. Time to start on the Equestria Girls backlog.
We continue with more from the Starswirl Music Festival. In this case, Vinyl’s inevitable performance.
Speaking of, I really don’t understand why they insist on using her stage name in official content. The fandom’s named other characters: Lyra, Bonbon, Octavia, Dr. Whooves… Why is “Vinyl Scratch” a name too far? Ah well, bit late to complain about that now.
Fluttershy being able to make herself heard over concert noise may be the most ridiculous thing in today’s shorts.
I did not expect Big Mac to show up when I first saw this one. Definitely didn’t expect him to be enthusiastic about joining the performance… though his equine analogue is part of an a cappella group.
The choice portion is always entertainingly awkward, this one especially so. Poor Vinyl has to stand there pointing dramatically for ten seconds.
Big Macintosh
Vinyl brings all kinds of niche genre instruments with her. Banjos, accordions… she’s got an entire marimba backstage.
Cheerimac always had a faint taint of compelled consent. The age difference in the human world never made it any better.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m watching, but it’s strangely entrancing.
Fluttershy
Okay, I can get behind calling in animal backup, but where did the chicken come from?
I can only hope the cow and the horse were samples and not live performances. Though the latter does raise the old question of what happens when an Earth horse goes through the portal.
… No, the cow and horse were in fact both on stage. This raises a number of questions. And possible health code and/or animal welfare violations, but those crop up a lot when Fluttershy uses her powers.
Okay, that last “rawr” was cute, I can’t deny that.
Sunset Shimmer
So… did Vinyl program an entire game for Sunset to play live as she performed the soundtrack? Reminds me of the 8-Bit Big Band live Let’s Play of Super Mario Bros.
Also, I do have to appreciate how Sunset’s riding chubby pixel Celestia.
Huh. Looks like Vinyl was controlling the enemies. Speaking of Let’s Plays…
And a Daydream Shimmer super mode. Nice.
I’m surprised Applejack’s willing to speak positively of peaches. Granted, the human world may have lessened tensions between different fruits. (Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the feuds between earth pony families stretched on even into Princess Twilight’s world-uniting reign. Harmony is one thing; family is quite another.)
“Mauve Fringe isn’t going on ’til five.” I imagine this kind of confusion happens terribly often. Though now I wonder what style Mauve plays. And whether it’s a single artist or a group. The latter might work even in this world.
So, what is Rarity offering to get Spike to provide the breeze? I doubt the crush carries over between worlds. (If anything, I’d expect this Spike to have a crush on Fluttershy.)
300,000 days translates to almost 822 years. Total solar eclipses happen much more often than that, though I suppose Twilight may have meant an eclipse whose totality passed over this particular patch of land.
Rarity, the more you expostulate, the wetter your suede gets.
Another hilariously silly decision screen. Rarity just standing in the rain, mascara running down her face, her jacket getting ever wetter. Schadenfreude-tastic.
Applejack
I still want to know why someone would need to sneak up on a pig.
“But she looks so happy.” Yeah, no matter what the outcome in Equestria, it’s fairly clear which way the writers lean with the humans.
Also, there’s a roof over her head, Twilight. I’d say the problem is as solved as it could be after Rarity spent so much time soaking in both rainwater and her own histrionics.
Twilight Sparkle
Heh. Even Twilight doesn’t have the time and resources to take every idea she has from concept to execution.
Twilight, you are fully aware that you’re a genius.
Of course Rarity added fringe. Though I can’t help but note that the sleeves of her jacket are still exposed to the rain. I hope she’s ready to convert it to a vest after this performance is over.
Vignette Valencia
Huh. Didn’t see this option coming. Good on Rarity for staying in touch with Vignette, though.
Leave it to the mistress of metrics to revive the wet mane Rarity meme.
And that’s how Rarity brought back the Ice Bucket Challenge. And developed hair Pinkie could envy.
Wow. That is a Joestar-tier hat Spike’s sporting.
Avocado’s Constant I can get behind. Money for Waffles and Chickens Not for Free Either is a stretch. Bye, Focaccia I just don’t get.
Fluttershy
Ah, the simple and direct solution.
Oh hey, Supernova Zap. Given the time travel shenanigans at work, I have to wonder if she experienced all three variations of her dog getting found. Or this is Day Two of the festival and Sunset crushing the Time Twirler under her heel caused the timeline to splinter in so many ways that the entire universe destabilized. And that’s why we’re getting a compilation of shorts in a few weeks instead of another full length Equestria Girls special.
… Darn, I’ve made myself sad.
Dough or Donut, There is no Pie I can definitely get behind. Though the explicit mention of “Irish” and “Danish” is mildly frustrating to my pun-loving sensibilities. And I do appreciate how Spike is as enthusiastic about the trucks as Twilight… though now that I think about it, it says something that he’s rambling in public and no one seems to care. After all, that was the one thing in the first movie that people actually questioned after Sunset got rainbowed in the face.
Rarity
Background Wallflower! Always nice to see her.
There’s something weirdly delightful in seeing Fluttershy encourage Rarity’s tormentor.
I see Wilhelm made it to the festival.
Bulk and Best Human? An unexpected combination.
Out of all the possible references, I never imagined it would be Alien. This is a pup hunt, man, a pup hunt!
Okay, “Princess Thunderguts” is legitimately an amazing name for a dog.
Fashion-forward throwback? I see oxymorons are in this season.
Spike
Apparently this takes place after the other dog’s been bathed. And it does raise the question of how well Spike relates to dogs who haven’t had ten thousand thaums of Kindness magic run through their brains.
Ah. Looks like he’s not attracted to humans after all. That honestly comes as a relief… even if it’s a formula for heartbreak if he wants a deep emotional relationship. Barring the aforementioned brain-zapping.
Also, Twilight? I’m going to need you to never make that face again.
… Huh. Alternatively, this world could have “Just how intelligent are the animals?” issues similar to Equestria’s.
There’s something weirdly amusing about a Lady and the Tramp rehash with ramen.
“Aw man… I mean, thank goodness.” As opposed to “Um… Bark?”
… Okay, so people just accept the talking dog at this point. I’m not sure how to process that.
I’m not sure if a keyboard-violin duo merit doing the Robot.
“Dirk Thistleweed” does sound like a musical artist right up Applejack’s alley.
Oh, that was an X-Ray attack right there. And Applejack can’t walk those off as easily as a Mortal Kombat character.
“It’s against the Funtimes Festival Friends Partner Pal Credo to go off without an accounatabilibuddy!” Only Pinkie Pie could say that sentence with a straight face and without stuttering.
Pinkie Pie
“It’s so fox that it might just work.” See above.
Like Sisyphus, Pinkie struggles to bring her load to the top of the hill. Unlike Sisyphus, she does so for another’s sake, and thus succeeds.
Heh. And that’s how Pinkie got kicked out of the festival for the twelfth time.
Rainbow Dash
Huh. Makes sense that Dash would know some sports medicine. Crushed metatarsals don’t quite compare to a pulled hamstring, but I still like the unexpected yet logical bit of hidden depth for Bluefast.
Pretty sure Rarity’s the one to turn to for the distinction between balms, salves, and creams. Maybe Fluttershy.
“It smells like bad milk. Or good cheese.” Context is everything there.
… Dirk Thistleweed is the Rarity equivalent of Ragamuffin! No wonder he’s Applejack’s favorite musician!
This does raise the question of how Dirk fixed his throat in the other outcomes. Or if he needed to.
“Y’all mind if I slather my singin’ parts?” That… is definitely a sentence that someone said.
“I just told Dirk Thistleweed to slather away!” Again, see above.
It’s always in the last place you look, Dirk. You stop looking after that.
Snips
I have no idea why this is an option. Snips has no idea why this is an option.
“Snails? I have no son!”
“Well… yeah, ya don’t.”
And now we’re straying into Spamalot territory…
And that’s how Applejack came to question many of her life choices.
Moral of the story: Applejack’s a background sophont regardless of species. 
I see those three have embraced “Dance like no one’s watching.”
If your phone shorts out because of someone’s pec sweat, either you need a better phone or that guy needs to see an endocrinologist. In this case, both may be true.
Spike is very philosophical in this short. I like it.
Celestia
“I didn’t know you… did things.” I mean, on the one hand, I’d expect Twilight of all people to realize that teachers have lives beyond school, especially if Cadence is a part of her family. On the other, this is a Celestia we’re talking about. Not a lot of data on either, really.
Cranky is so on-the-go, he drinks his yogurt from a tube. Luna is just pure class.
Watsonianly, Cranky’s urging Celestia not to say the first year of the festival to avoid dating them. Doylistically, no one ever decided what Current Year is for the human world.
Huh. The mascot of that sushi truck has an uncanny resemblance to Sunset. Bit of a Mr. Sparkle situation.
Er, the Simpsons dishwashing detergent mascot, not Night Light.
There won’t be a secret falafel booth if you shout it to all and sundry, Purplesmart. (Though I have to question hiding your business from the majority of paying customers. Doesn’t seem like a good way of running things.)
And Summer Solstice, Celestia’s next-generation doppleganger is running the secret falafel booth. That has to be awkward.
Would Spike even want fried chickpeas? Eh, fry anything and it’s tasty.
Dare I ask how they pulled off the upside-down Celestia shot?
There is something beautiful yet disturbing about watching Cranky Doodle breakdance, like watching a shoggoth migration from a safe distance.
Beautiful meta moment with the friendship letters. It’s been a long, strange trip since the series premiere.
Fluttershy
Ew, using a porta-potty as a changing booth. I know, she’s got to do it somewhere, but still, ew.
Heh. Of course Twilight would guess the densest periodic element.
The reality is far more disturbing. Plastic isn’t going to smell like actual bone. Where did Fluttershy get her supplies, exactly? 
This may be the best possible human analogue of Flutterbat.
I do love seeing a callback to Vignette’s holographic redesigns of the Rainbooms. It’s nice to see some good come of that, especially Fluttershy expanding her horizons.
That’s a good point about the lyrics. There can be some true poetry in even the shoutiest bands’ songs.
Twilight liking this aesthetic does make sense. Midnight Sparkle’s design had to come from somewhere.
Clearly the best option of the three, because laser flame skull staff. And there’s even a nod to Skullcruncher in one of the backstage posters in “Sunset’s Backstage Pass!” This is absolutely canon to human Fluttershy as far as I’m concerned.
Microchips
It’s funny. Back during the first two movies, I called this poindexter Neutrino, since he was small and didn’t interact with the plot. Now he’s one of the more notable secondary human characters.
Ah, the “informed” fan. Intellectual arrogance is one of Twilight’s bigger weaknesses, regardless of species.
Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet, Twilight.
Also, I can definitely get behind a blend of Daft Punk costumery and retro sci-fi soundtrack instrumentation.
In all, some generally enjoyable bits of content with a few true gems sprinkled in. Let’s see how I can remix it.
Cure-All Ointment 1W
Instant
Choose one —
• Prevent all damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
• Destroy target enchantment.
A little dab goes a long way.
Kitsune Ambusher 2W
Creature — Fox Soldier
Flash
When Kitsune Ambusher enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to target attacking or blocking creature.
“Any plan a fox makes is crazy, but they work.”
—Toshiro Umezawa
2/1
Daydream’s Embrace 2WW
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, is all colors, and has flying and first strike.
A part of Sunset still longs for that kind of power. The rest knows that with her friends, she already has it.
Overcome Adversity 3W
Instant
Support 2. (Put a +1/+1 counter on each of up to two target creatures.)
Each creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it gains indestructible until end of turn.
United wills can conquer any challenge.
Conceptual Design 2U
Sorcery
Reveal the top four cards of your library. You may put any number of artifact cards from among them into your hand. Put the rest into your graveyard.
“There’s a long journey from ‘What if?’ to ‘Where’s the patent office?’”
—Twilight Sparkle
Queen of Suede 2U
Creature — Human Noble
When Queen of Suede becomes the target of a spell, sacrifice it.
For want of a poncho, the kingdom was lost.
4/3
Zephyr Hound 2U
Creature — Elemental Hound
Whenever Zephyr Hound blocks or becomes blocked by one or more creatures, return Zephyr Hound and those creatures to their owners’ hands.
It leaves nothing but a whiff of doggy breath.
2/3
Digital Artist 3U
Creature — Human Artificer Band
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, the next spell you cast this turn costs 1 less to cast for each artifact and enchantment you control as you cast it.
Technology puts the power of an orchestra at your fingertips.
1/5
Optimized Route 3U
Enchantment
2U: Target creature can’t be blocked this turn.
“In five hundred feet, turn left at the raging ogre.”
Skullcruncher Disciple 1BB
Creature — Human Cleric
Whenever Skullcruncher Disciple or another creature dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
“Their lyrics really speak to me. Especially the part about ripping out souls.”
2/2
Unwilling Pariah 3B
Creature — Human
As long as you control no other creatures, Unwilling Pariah gets +4/+4 and has lifelink.
Starving for companionship can awaken darker hungers.
2/2
Skullcruncher Brute 4B
Creature — Human Warrior
Lifelink, menace
“He’s really a sweetie once you get to know him. You know, when you get past the spikes.”
—Fluttershy
4/3
Cowpoke Stomp 1R
Sorcery
Target creature you control fights target creature you don’t control. When the creature you don’t control dies this turn, Cowpoke Stomp deals 2 damage to that creature’s controller.
With super-strength, any dance move is a combat technique.
Exacerbator 3R
Creature — Human Warrior
When Exacerbator enters the battlefield, it deals 4 damage to target creature or planeswalker that was dealt damage this turn.
Some people will do anything to get to the front row.
4/2
Festival Pouncer 1G
Creature — Hound
Whenever Festival Pouncer attacks, you may have target Human block it this combat if able.
Man is dog’s best friend, whether he likes it or not.
3/1
Crass Crooner 2G
Creature — Human Band
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, you may destroy target artifact or enchantment.
“It’s an intriguing paradox, is it not? An artist who can befoul art. Just keep him away from me.”
—Rarity
2/2
Experienced Guide 2G
Creature — Human Scout
When Experienced Guide enters the battlefield, if you control a historic permanent, draw a card. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
“Stick with me. I’ve seen everything.”
2/3
Pursuit of Prey 2G
Sorcery
Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn. Another target creature blocks it this turn if able.
Every dog has the soul of a wolf.
Daybreak Mender 3G
Creature — Human Werewolf Druid
Whenever this creature enters the battlefield or transforms into Daybreak Mender, return target land card from your graveyard to your hand.
At the beginning of each upkeep, if no spells were cast last turn, transform Daybreak Mender.
2/2
Nightpack Howler
(G) Creature — Werewolf
Whenever this creature transforms into Nightpack Howler, you may sacrifice a Forest. If you do, create a 2/2 green Wolf creature token.
At the beginning of each upkeep, if a player cast two or more spells last turn, transform Nightpack Howler.
4/5
Farmyard Camouflage XG
Instant
X target creatures you control gain hexproof until end of turn.
Adamant — If at least three green mana was spent to cast this spell, put a +1/+1 counter on each of those creatures.
Necrobeam Staff 3
Artifact
Whenever you cast a black spell, you gain 1 life.
Whenever you cast a multicolored spell, each opponent loses 1 life.
“The skulls got me some funny looks at the security checkpoint, but it was worth it.”
—Fluttershy
Osmium Golem 5
Artifact Creature — Golem
Whenever Osmium Golem attacks, it doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step.
“Lead is for those who can’t appreciate the full potential of the periodic table.”
—Twilight Sparkle
5/7
Sailear Mentor BR
Creature — Goblin Elder Monk
Whenever a source you control deals noncombat damage to an opponent, return Sailear Mentor from your graveyard to your hand.
“You won’t look this good after your seven hundredth death.”
2/1
Rainbow-Wake Charger 1(gu)W
Creature — Pegasus Unicorn
Flying
Rainbow-Wake Charger’s power is equal to the number of multicolored permanents you control.
“Great. Because normal horses didn’t make me uncomfortable enough.”
—Sunset Shimmer
*/2
Muck Delver 2(bg)
Creature — Human Citizen
Whenever one or more land cards are put into your graveyard from anywhere, create a 1/1 black and green Worm creature token.
“Ooh, nightcrawlers!”
3/2
Wealth of Misinformation X1UB
Sorcery
You draw X cards and target opponent discards X cards.
Twilight made a point of fact-checking from that point on.
Neon Orchard
Land
Neon Orchard enters the battlefield tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
T: Add G or U.
The union of tradition and innovation can draw in bigger crowds than either on its own.
Seriously, the main show decided to stop shipping Sparity, and they have ways to make it less creepy. What even?
Daybreak Mender still has a set code or whatever that "TLD" is. It also has an incentive to transform back and forth, which more double-faced cards should do because it's the thing that mechanically separates them from flip cards.
Digital Artist should probably be "at your fingertips" for the pun. Unless you weren't planning to pun.
Necrobeam Staff and Muck Delver are my favorites from the bunch, though Daydream's Embrace gets points for Happily Ever After enabling.
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Werewolves was a weird deck, and it's where most of the dfcs ended up. I don't disagree, but I can understand why they'd mostly run it as a drawback with counterplay.
I watched these shorts after I saw "Sunset's Backstage Pass." The fun thing about these alternate endings is that with the time loop, all of the possibilities probably happened. My favorite was the one with the teachers - I love anything that has Celestia and Luna just hanging out and having fun, and Cranky just adds another level of entertainment. It reminded me that there's a reason his equine analog invited the sisters to his wedding.
Probably a “Bye, Felicia” reference.
And I agree on the rawr being super cute.
I was surprised by how much I loved Vignette’s Inclement Leather appearance. Vignette being as uncaring as she was reminded me of all the bits I liked her for in her original appearance, and Rarity’s reactions were so great.
Flutters is also still in touch with Vignette, she introduced her to Skullcruncher. They’ve evidently learned from their failure to follow up with the Sirens.
Daydream is still a silly name XD Ah well.
The timeline is still sorting Itself out but ALL of these things happened. Not alternate futures or parallel timelines, but alternate pasts. And now I’m imagining a crossover between Equestria Girls and Cultist Simulator. At first glance it works way, WAY too well...
Alternate realities are the best way to deal with shipping. Double your answers AND let you tell the audience that their choice was valid even if it wasn’t in their favorite universe.
Celestia, Luna, and Cranky as the veteran festival folks is such a great idea.
It’s not the only time we see Bulk and Best Human hanging out either.
Talking Dog... at this point, everyone in the Canterlot Metropolitan Area knows about the magical nonsense that occasionally crops up. And I think this world was never quite as devoid of magic as Starswirl thought it was.
It didn’t occur to me that Midnight and Flutterdark have similar aesthetics but that does make sense. When Twilight successfully integrates her boundless curiosity with her Harmony and becomes Midnight Star (Polaris for short) she’ll be all set as far as a look goes.
The skulls were clearly found in the woods. Flutters is fine with that. It’s the cycle of nature. Probably some mice were friendly and told her where to find a lovely pile of bones to eat.
Hmm. I wonder if ALL the Choose Your Own incidents can now be explained as the distant operations of the Time Twirler, spinning up secret histories.
So is this version of him! The Wondertones, if you recall. I think they showed up in one of the Summertime Shorts.
Osmium Golem should be a 7/6.
Although Lyra Heartstrings had an ulterior motive for encouraging Bon Bon to drench herself with water while wearing a white dress.
Hasbro tacitly encourages drug use by making all of the characters act like the talking dog is probably just a side effect of something they consumed at a music festival.
Before Fluttershy stepped out, that also made me concerned about what she meant by "Just taming a few last baby flyaways."
5142809
I agree, just for pun. But a 7/6 maybe should cost at least one more mana.
Supposedly one of the staff actually came out and said that there is no romance between spike and the girls and also that they felt this should go without saying because he's a dog.
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That was probably an individual going "seriously, that's like if one of the ponies was attracted to you or me" and then realizing that they can't actually word it that way because of fanon Lyra.
Gonna need both of them to make that face more
I thought "Bye Focaccia" is a play on "bifurcate ya"? Those names were bonkers though.
I loved several of these: the EqG staff are great at sticking in wonderful little fun moments, often in the background or a sly word choice here and there like Twilight's osmium. But my favourite moment has to be Principal Celestia and Sci-Twi up on the hill talking about friendship letters, or texts as the case may be. Those two aren't anywhere near as close as their Equestrian analogues, but it's still nice to see them getting along. (And also goth Fluttershy was amazing.)
Lovely flavour text on Daydream's Embrace.
Digital Artist is interesting colour-pie-wise. I guess blue gets to make spells entirely free, so it's probably fine for it to offer a discount on an enchantment. And conceptually that character is definitely blue.
Nice work with Exacerbator being 4/2. That makes it suitably distinct from the parade of 2/2 and 3/3 black creatures with that kind of ability.