One chapter ends

And many more begin.

I present to you the sequel I’ve been wanting to write for years, but haven’t been able to formulate until now.

EChrysalis Still Works at Quills and Sofas

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

Luster Dawn finds out that Chrysalis works at Quills and Sofas.

• Chrysalis
• Luster Dawn

Majin Syeekoh · 1.2k words  ·  656  7 · 7.7k views

Comments

[Damaged]

Woo! Downvote time!

😛

[Majin Syeekoh]

5139648
You don’t have to tell me.👁️‍🗨️

[Damaged]

Now, if you’ll allow to to continue attempting

to to

“Let’s look at this logically.” Chryssi — much easier to think of her as Chryssi — Chryssi leaned her head against her hoof. “If I were to wreak havoc on Equestria, what possible scenario would involve me working at Quills and Sofas?” Luster opened her mouth up to answer. “I want you to think very hard about this.”

You have two actors in one paragraph.

She thought about this so hard she sat down on the supple chaise lounge, long enough for several creatures to enter the establishment, look around, make purchases, and even joke around with one of the greatest evils in Equestria.

Sentence fragment. Consider using a semicolon in place of the first comma.

Luster gulped. “Am I-am I right?”

That should be an em dash.

---

For all these reasons I would downvote, but I also read the damn thing and it made me giggle—you earned yourself an upvote.

[Majin Syeekoh]

5139661
I made your fixes.

Also, yes, the goal is to coax a smile, if not more, so I’m glad I succeeded.

[Damaged]

5139668 Congrats on hitting the sinbox!

[Majin Syeekoh]

5139838
wooooo

[FortuneWriter]

The most ambitious sequel in FiMFiction history!