Preview of Coming Attractions · 2:37pm Sep 28th, 2019
Although it has been grindingly slow, I am indeed making progress on Book 2 of Bulletproof Heart. Of course, when I say “slow”, I mean in the last 15 months I have produced ~175,000 words for the story. So yeah, if you count 11k-12k words a month slow, then I’m going slow. I do, but I’m the writer. I’m allowed to give myself tough standards.
Anyway, I figured, because it’s not coming quickly and I’m only on Chapter 8, I might as well share a small piece of a scene with you all. So have a snippet of the rough draft, and enjoy thinking on the implications.
“What are we looking for?”
“Somepony who can give us directions.” Rarity peered through a doorway into what appeared to be a storeroom, huffing at its apparent emptiness. “I’m going to need to talk to the pony who runs this place.”
Twilight cocked her head. “You mean the Apple Family Matriarch?”
“No, the one who runs it while she’s not here.” They rounded a corner to find themselves in a large room, lavishly decorated with rugs and couches and bookcases. Lots of bookcases. “I need to make sure they understand that I’m holding them responsible for Sweetie’s and Coco’s safety.” She paused at the sound of what might have been a moan, suddenly realizing she was alone. Turning around, she saw Twilight staring at the bookshelves with wide, amorous eyes. Was that a bit of drool on her chin? “Twilight?”
The young mage snapped out of her trance-like state, rubbing her chin with the back of her hand. “I, uh…” She was breathing heavily and couldn’t take her eyes away from the wall of literature just a couple dozen feet away. “I think I should, um… Stay here. Yes. Here. I mean, somepony’s bound to walk through here eventually, right?” She was already halfway to the nearest bookshelf, hands raised and fingers grasping.
Rarity stepped so that she was partially in front of her and stopped her with a hand to her collarbone. Twilight let out a mewling sound and pouted, hands still outstretched. With a wry smile, Rarity spoke as if talking to a foal. “Twilight? Would you like to stay here and read the books?”
“Yes.” Twilight’s voice was strained, like she was barely avoiding a shout. “Please.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle at the mare’s manner. “Well, then, I suppose I can—”
Five clear, quick notes of an acoustic guitar rang through the room. The two of them paused, looking around but seeing nothing. Then the notes repeated, three low notes then a quick climb with the last two. Then the guitar started playing in earnest, coming from behind Rarity. She caught Twilight looking over her shoulder and was about to turn around, but then a familiar voice started to sing.
“Pretty woman, walkin’ down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I’d like to meet
Pretty woman, I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth
No one can look as good as you.”
Rarity couldn’t help it; she smirked. Really? She was really doing this? She set a hand to her hip as Applejack appeared at her side, grinning and strumming an old, scratched up guitar. Shockingly, she was wearing a brown business suit rather than her usual jeans and shirt and her mane was hanging loose over her shoulders. Swaying her hips, Applejack continued,
“Pretty woman, won’t you pardon me
Pretty woman, I couldn’t help but see
Pretty woman, that you look lovely as can be
Are you—”
Still smirking, Rarity put a finger to Applejack’s lips, silencing her as she went cross-eyed. “I told you before that serenading me won’t get you anywhere, did I not?”
Applejack regained her grin and waited for the finger to be retracted before replying with an equally smooth, “And I told you: when I’m really tryin’ to serenade ya, you’ll know it.”
“Uh-huh.” Stepping back, Rarity gestured to the guitar. “And what would you call this, then?”
“Practice,” came the cheeky response, accompanied by a couple quick chords. Rarity wouldn’t dare admit that the whole episode was extremely charming. Applejack’s manner sobered, her smile softening. “It’s good to see ya, Rarity. Never thought I’d meet ya here though.”
“Wait.” Twilight joined the conversation by pointing at the blonde. “You’re the Apple Family Matriarch I’ve been hearing about? I thought you’d be older. Like, a lot older.”
“That’s me. Name’s Applejack. And who might you be, little lady?” Applejack moved as if to tip a hat that wasn’t on her head. Her fingers grabbed at air once, twice. Her face soured for the barest instant, then she lowered her hand back to her guitar.
“Ah, yes.” Setting a hand to her companion’s shoulder, Rarity explained, “This is Twilight Sparkle. She’s partnering with me on an extended job for a very esteemed client.” Which, she just remembered, was a big part of why she was here. As the two shook hands and exchanged hellos, Rarity was abruptly trying to think of how to broach the subject with Applejack. It wasn’t as if she could merely ask for her Element. There was no question where this was going. It was only a matter of making sure Applejack understood why.
Gosh Paul, this story sure looks like it has good PACING.
Looking forward to it, I’m a huge fan of the first book.
Take your time. We can wait. Hell i didn't even know you were writing a sequel to Bulletproof Heart. From that little snippet, I'm amazed.
Oh wow, Twilight already encountered and partnered with by chapter eight, eh? Here I was expecting it to be some huge reveal, and you just throw it at our faces like that.
Seriously looking forwards to this. Out of curiosity, how many chapters are you expecting it’ll be?
With your current word count, would I be correct in assuming you're going for a mostly complete book before releasing it here?
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I didn’t think Twilight by herself was a big reveal. Given the rest of the Mane 6 got at least cameos and Twilight was mentioned often enough, I figured her arrival on the scene was a given.
I intend for each book of BPH to be 26 chapters long, as part of a personal challenge. But due to the sheer size of the chapters in Book 2, they’re probably going to be divided up into multiple FIMFiction-type chapters each.
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Not mostly, entirely. I won’t release a single chapter until I’’ve written and am satisfied with all of them. Indeed, I won’t even start the alpha-reader phase until the entire rough draft is done.
5129913
Awesome! As much as I'm looking forward to the sequel, knowing it will be complete from the start is a HUGE positive for me. Too many stories in my tracking list have a 4 month wait period between chapters, and even more have "died" after I've already gotten into them.
For this, I can wait patiently. Take your time. If the first one is any indication, it will be well worth the wait.
5129913
Oh, I knew we’d see her eventually, but from the way she was mentioned in Book 1 (Shining talking about searching for her for years, how she was ambitious and obsessed with Luna, etc.), I expected finding her would be some pivotal moment, the kind that happens near the end or before the climax or something, like she’d have this big role in some key organization or other – some important part of the Luna’s church (I forget the name), maybe. Especially since she’s the only one of the M6 who was talked about, like she was being built up in absentia, whilst the other gals were all kinda stumbled upon with no further introduction.
Also:
>26 chapters? Awesome!
>Wait, only 8 chapters in so far?
<Darth Vader nooooooo>
(I kid, I kid, don’t hate me, but seriously, big hype.)
Also, this slipped my mind earlier, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but … you’re gonna have to remove (or at least significantly alter) those lyrics before you publish, as copyrighted song lyrics (that aren’t MLP-related) aren’t allowed.
Kills me to say it, ’cause it’s such a great detail in that scene, but I’d rather miss out on that than have the whole fic yanked because of it or something. Maybe make it all synonyms? “Pretty lady / Strolling down the road …” It would avoid breaking the rules, whilst still being recognizable.
5130266
Not happening. I’ve already had a lengthy discussion with a moderator over this. The lyrics stay.
5130280
You got them to carve an exception for you? How’d you pull that off?
5130266
Of course, I eventually want to make this story into original fiction, at which point the lyrics will be obligatorily altered or removed entirely. But for FIMfic, I’m keeping them.
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By pointing out that I’m not the only one who has done it, and if they were really going to enforce it for me then they’d have to start an audit to find everyone who has before me and cull them too. You can’t just pick and choose these things. You either enforce the rule or you don’t.
They also agreed that the rule is flexible, and since I only did a small portion of the song, I was probably okay.
5130288
All right. That rule’s a sore point for me, especially with its inconsistent enforcement, since it forced some unfortunate edits to some fics I love (like Quantum Castaways, which had lovely scenes with lyrics that were basically lobotomized because of it). But I also understand its necessity, as music industry attorneys have a reputation for acting as though they’d never heard of Fair Use. Bleh.
Slow?
I've written less than that in the last six years.
I am slow.