My Confession · 11:47pm Sep 20th, 2019
Ever since I was about fourteen, I've been heavily addicted to porn.
I feel awful about this. I know that it's sickening and wrong. I feel so ashamed of myself after I finish doing that, and it's gotten to the point where I can't go a couple of days without succumbing to it. But I'm stuck in an endless cycle, and I hate the fact that I was ever drawn into it. If there was one mistake I could correct from my past, it would definitely be to avoid going onto a porn website for the first time.
My parents know about this. They have been so loving and loyal and supportive of my struggle, and they've forgiven me every time and try their best to work our way through it. Every time I think I'm over this, however, I relapse. It's torturous, trying to live with it, and it's torturous living without it. Porn has permanently warped my brain in ways that will affect me for the rest of my life. I feel... shocked, I guess, that I had to bow my head to its power.
I'd like to take a moment and say to all of my followers, do not make the same mistake I did. Avoid pornography at all costs. It's a poison that lowers your self-esteem, changes your expectations of relationships and people, and puts you into an endless cycle of misery. It's certainly alluring, I know, but at the end of it, what do you feel? Shame. Porn also lowers the trust of a significant other, and it may stick with you for the rest of your life. If you encounter it, turn away immediately. I'm a victim, like some of you.
And for the people who create this kind of thing, I want to ask: Are you proud of what you've done? No matter how well-written your smut is, the intent of your work is solely sensual, rather than trying to convey a worthy message to the audience. What good will a porno starring Rarity and Fluttershy do for you? What will it do for your audience? Trying to get views by writing smut is the lowest form of authorship I can imagine. I would rather stay where I am with my follower count than sell out and double my audience by writing clop.
My religion says that pornography is evil. I can understand why. Not only does it drive the Spirit away, not only does it lower your expectations of yourself, not only does it make you a miserable person, not only does it hurt the ones you love by breaking their trust and their hearts, not only will you cry about it late at night, not only does it alter your mind permanently, but it is more serious than any other sin because of its nature. You are dealing with abusing the power of life itself. Only murder and denying the Holy Ghost compares to sexual sin. Murder takes away life, and undisciplined sex abuses the power of creation.
I feel awful writing this down. You all might be very shocked about this. BradyBunch? The light, funny, relaxed, cool, uplifting, inspiring, lovable, Christian guy I want to be like, is involved with sin this evil? How did he hide it? How is he like this? Why do I feel such a sense of betrayal? Why do I feel a churn in my gut as I read his self-loathing words?
Well, the truth is, I can't hide it from you anymore. I denounce it so much because I know firsthand how much damage it wreaks upon you. It feels awful. I feel like I've been eaten alive by worms on the inside. Like a nest of fiery vipers has been hatched in my chest. My mother! I love my mother so much, and whenever I see her cry because I've broken her trust for the umpteenth time, I hate myself and my actions! And trying to be the role model for you guys while dealing with this sin makes me feel like the biggest hypocrite on planet Earth. I know it's wrong, and I know the right thing! I've repented of this sin so many times, but I feel like I abused the Savior's Atonement far too many times. And I can't lie to you all anymore. I can't keep on saying I'm stainless. I confess.
And I'm sorry.
Oh Brady...don’t worry, we’re it going to abandon you just because you like, or rather, use to like watching pornography. Trust me, I know a good number of people who’re into that, which, includes me unfortunately
, but I honestly really don’t have a problem with that. I mean, you are certainly not the first person that I’ve been who has been known to do that, and I know you won’t be the last either. I am not in anyway going through judge you for it, and I have absolutely zero problems with that, I mean that from the bottom of my ❤️. Also, like I stated in my blog post, I’m African American, and I know know a single African Americans, or red-blooded American that’s not into porn, and even if they’re not black, like you, I don’t know anyone who isn’t. There are quite a few black and white kids back at my school who’re into it, and I did not have any problem with it, and, personally and honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Just like I don’t have any problem with people being gay, bisexual, transgender, etc, so why would I start now? Especially with a cool dude like you? Well here’s the answer to that question...because I wouldn’t that’s why
. One of my morals and mottos is accepting people for who they are, regardless of whatever embarrassing confessions they have, regardless of whether their religious or atheists, and to not judge them for it, even if others do, okay? So you have zero worries about me being disgusted, or revolted, or repulsed, or put off my you because of this confession. No matter what, you’re my friend okay? Your are my homie, period, and I see you as one of my best extended friends of mine, which includes MysteryMuffin herself
. And I’m sure a lot of people will agree with me, and if not, well...it’s there loss if they don’t accept you because of that...besides, this is a sight where we’re suppsed to love and tolerate, right
?
Don’t forget Brady, that, like your family, you gave people who love and care for you no matter what, which includes me, even if we haven’t known each other for that long
. We’re Bronies, and we’re supposed to look out for one another, and I’ll be damned if im not gonna do the same for you or anyone else here on this sight that cares for you or needs some words of encouraging and assurance as well
. Whatever happens, I’ll be sticking my you dude, and if you need someone to talk to...well, you know who to PM
.
Keep strong BradyBunch, and remember...we all love you
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Same mistake, wish I could also take it back
Brady, I'm sorry to hear about your struggle, but I want you to know that it doesn't change the way I look at you one bit. You seem like a really positive, big-hearted person, and struggling with porn doesn't change that.
In my personal opinion, porn is like most other drugs - if used conscientiously and in moderation, it can be harmless or even beneficial. But I also understand the addictive qualities of it, having dealt with them myself (though seemingly to a lesser degree than you have).
My internet access is intermittent right now, but while it lasts, you're welcome to PM me if you need to talk through this.
Porn isn't a sin as long as you don't harass people with it
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Whoa, I didn't know you were a member!
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And thank you for your kind words. You're amazing.
We all have our sin to bear. Our One Ring, if you will. And we all need to rely on one another to not succumb to the temptations of our rings. You may have succumbed to your lust, but your honesty has lit a beacon calling for help. You went out of your way to get past your shame to share this message, and I can sympathize with your plight. More than you know. Only ignoring calls for help will transform you much worse than your One Ring, and the temptation to succumb to it already has. You are most wise to confess your sin. It shows that you're human. And there's truly nothing wrong with that. And it shows what you want to change.
I hope my words can help. Otherwise, May the Force...or should I say, May the Lord be with you.
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No problem dude
While I don’t exactly have the same situation, I understand how you feel; I dunno if I told anyone else on the site this, but I’ve been reading tickle fanfics on this site, and while I’ve been thinking about writing some of my own, I’ve been worried about what other people, including my followers, would think about me. I’m worried that if I suddenly wrote a tickle fanfic out of nowhere, people would think I’m weird.
Either way, it was very brave of you to admit your problems; it’s something many people have trouble doing nowadays.
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Make a cuddlefic instead. Floof is better than sex anyway.
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The ones I’d write most likely won’t involve explicit material or anything. Still, they’re more around the T rating.
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I've written plenty of those. I wrote a whole series of ASMR fics on the premise of making you feel un-alone.
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But... I didn't say any 'kind' words
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You commented. You cared enough to do that much. That's what makes me feel warm. And you made me feel un-alone, like I did for all of you at some point. Thank you.
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Well, thanks. I don’t have much skill in writing tickling anyway. I do want to write one involving Thorax, (since there aren’t any of him on this site) but I don’t have many ideas.
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Amen to that, pal.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and read your Luna fic.
So Luna-y!
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Never thought about that.
Let me start out by saying that it took a ton of inner strength on your part to share something that personal with people you barely know. That right there is a step in the right direction. There are plenty of people who wouldn't even think of opening up the way you did. Yes pornography is a bad thing and it can be rather addictive.
And I, like others, don't look at you in any less way because of it. We are all human after all and we succumb to things that aren't the best and in the eyes of some, are sinful. I am going to say this, I never imagined that you were into those things but I think we could learn a ton from you. You admitted to wrongs that may cause some people to think negatively of you. Well I don't think negatively of you at all. I do wish you luck in overcoming this. We all have our vices and here you are, taking yours on face to face by admitting it.
That took a lot of strength and courage to post this. For the record what is within my power to forgive I do. Wile I personally don't see it as big a problem I respect you do. And I know that with the help of your family and friends you can get through this. And no I won't leave you for this.
Don't worry, man, even Homer Simpson succumbs to it sometimes.
Jokes aside, it's nice that you came out and shared your struggle with us. Keep it up! We've got your back!
Something I would like to remind you of is this: God loves you no matter what you do. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done, or even what you think you’ve done; God loves you. He always will, through thick and thin, good times and bad. Your God is bigger than any struggle you may have or will ever have, for if the God of David defeated Goliath and the city of Jericho, defeated the armies of all who stood against him, tell me, what can stand against you?
Stand strong and upright, my friend. God is right beside you, and he always will be. He will carry you when you cannot carry yourself, and he will stand resolute through the strongest and most violent of storms. No matter what you do, he will love you. Even if you were the only other human on Earth when Jesus died on the cross, I believe he still would have done it. He did it for every one of us; you included. You are a Prince in the Kingdom of God, and also therefore an heir to his throne. You are one of his beloved children, and he will always keep and protect you.
No matter what struggle you face, be it pornography, be it lying, be it stealing, be it anything, God will help you through it if you allow him to. Know that you do not have to fight alone. The God of angel armies is on your side.
Stay strong, my friend. Peace be with you.
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Just like how I have a hard time finding ones that involve characters like Thorax.
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I... I don't know what to say. You've touched my heart. You took my breath away. You're amazing. Thank you so much for your love and compassion. Thank you for reminding me of my destiny. Thank you for saying all this when you didn't have to. I wish I could follow you twice.
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I might talk about it in pm if that’s alright.
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Anytime. And I mean it, too. If ever you need to talk about anything, and I mean anything, I am right here. Although we may not know each other well, I am more than willing to lend a listening ear anytime you may need or want it.
A little quote/phrase I like to remember with regard to our struggles in our lives is this:
“Anytime Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.”
Love you, man. In the words of Building 429, “Press On!”
Best of luck in shaking this.
Pornography is not evil in any way shape or form. You are just being driven by your natural instinct as a teenage boy.
Your body is going through a huge change and is driven by all sorts of crazy chemicals, These are all completely normal parts of puberty.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT
THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF
MASTURBATION IS HEALTHY
Beating your self up and getting stressed over it is more damaging than watching porn in the first place,
Also you have absolutely no obligation to tell your family about what you do in your own private time. They DO NOT have any right to know about that.
Really dont stress your self out about this. This is not a bad thing and should not be seen as such.
I respect your views on this subject. I know a lot of people in my own life who have struggled with addictions to different things, including porn. It's nothing to be ashamed of. The important thing is you are doing what you feel is best for you. Just make sure it is your personal decision and not something you feel pressured to do because of outside forces. If it is something you really want for yourself, I pray that you can overcome this thing you are struggling with. Just know that you have the support of friends and family and God loves you no matter what. Don't feel guilty about it. Pray about it and let God guide your path. Many blessings to you.
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No. No! That's a lie I once tried to convince myself to believe. I tried to believe it because I knew it was wrong! It's hurt me more than any other thing in my life. It's a selfish way to relieve your urges, it disillusions you to the idea of real sex, and you inevitably feel guilt and shame about it every time. You break your parent's trust. Your mind gets hooked on the idea more than anything else. You waste your time, and often your money, in exchange for jacking off in the bed and cumming into your underwear. Our character is often defined by what we do in our free time. And if that's who I am, I have a long way to go.
I know that I'm a teenage boy that has urges. I know that there's nothing wrong with having those urges. I know that it's healthy to relieve those urges. But using porn to get off? Indulging in wonderful fetishes and videos that include cheating and incest, random prostitution and orgies, rape and slut-shaming, scat and vomit, 40-year age differences and actual slavery, obese sex and bestiality, dwarfism and disabled people, all disguised and portrayed as something enjoyable? Having to hide it from your parents and use Incognito mode for those tabs, because you know if you get caught, it'll be with you doing something wrong? That doesn't sound like harmless. That sounds like a sneaky, dirty, snakelike thing to do. Porn has ruined the way my mind operates, and I would be infinitely happier without this disease in my life.
The fact that you acknowledge that you have an addiction and want to get past it, is proof that you're not as damaged as you portray yourself to be.
Breathe. The difference between moderation and abuse is vast.
Ah, Brady. Don't feel like you're alone in this. I have also suffered from addiction to pornography. I try not for it to control me, because there are much better things in the world. As long as you're safe and this addiction doesn't physically or mentally harm you, or you drag people into it without consent, then slowly you can fight it and not let it control you. God bless, friend.
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Ooo, thank you for your kind words, hon.
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BrandyBunch, I'm sorry you are struggling with this situation. But I want to tell you that you're not alone when it comes to this sin. Believe it or not, I too struggle with masturbating. Ever since I was 6 years old I have struggled with this sin, and it has been that way for years.
And I understand what it's like. My belief says to do so is bad, and even when I understand why, and that I should resist, I do it anyway. It's like an feeling of interest, fun, and joy wrapped up into a sinful taco. And once I see something that urges me to take a bite of the taco, I do it. Even when I know it is wrong.
However, mine is more ... unusual. For me, it's when I see fictional characters getting stuck under bed sheets, a parachute, blanket, tent, or curtain and as said characters struggle to get out of the fabric, they are mistajen as ghosts by their friends.
Yes, I know it's weird and different compared to most "porn" but the struggle is still hard.
I just want to let you know, you are not alone. I am here for you, and hope we can be friends.
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I agree. It's hard for people to admit their personal problems.
Also, I actually chat with someone on fanfiction who puts tickling in their stories. So I find tickling in stories to be cute, and harmless. Just simple fun put into stories. :-)
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So, who is this person? I’d like to get to know them tbh.
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They are a user on fanfiction called pressurized. The mostly write PAW Patrol fanfictions, but by being friends with them, I learned they like stories that include tickling.
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They sound like a nice person either way.
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Yes, they are. Want to talk in a PM?
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Sure, thanks.
Gone through a similar thing. It's brutal. I'm here for you, Brady.
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How did you manage to break it?
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You have to focus your energy and desires elsewhere. But otherwise, it's something I can't quite help you with entirely. It's... a difficult habit to break.