Story Reviews » SA: Round 158 · 7:08pm Sep 8th, 2019
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Heartshine flew just a couple inches over Paul’s shoulder, rubbing her hooves together anxiously. “Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, y’know.”
Paul glanced over his shoulder at her, eyebrow raised. “For the last time, yes. I don’t see any reason not to.”
She flitted about his head like an agitated bird, her voice gaining a slightly higher pitch. “B-but, what if somepony finds out what we’re doing? You have a reputation. A good one! I don’t want to ruin that.”
He rolled his eyes, hand on the doorknob to his office. “If I’m okay with everyone knowing I’m a brony, then I’m okay with this. So relax! What we’ve got together is special, Heartshine, and I’m not going to let anything get in the way of that.”
With a whine, she landed on him, hind legs dangling over his shoulders and forehooves on top of his head. “I like it, too. I just don’t want to be responsible for the others losing respect for you.”
“You worry too much.” Without having to look, Paul reached a hand up to scratch behind her ear while entering his office. He smirked at the little moan that she made. “Now, we’ve got to do our reviews before we have our fun. Shall we get started?”
“Keep those f-fingers going for at least another five minutes and I’ll do anything you want.”
“Attagirl.”
ROUND 158
A few weeks after meeting Dust Bunny, Dinky Hooves is introduced to a few more unseen spirits that reside in Ponyville. And they're all very excited to meet her.
Oh, how I wish someone would expand upon this. The story is a sequel to the previously reviewed Young Eyes, in which Dinky Doo meets the fabled Dust Bunny. Yet that story left it up in the air whether or not that event was real or just Dinky having an overactive imagination.
Open Eyes leaves no doubt: it is real. On a rather busy Friday afternoon, Dinky’s unique ability allows her to meet a number of unusual spirits, including but not limited to Lady Luck herself and a rather disturbing doll. The prior story was adorable, but this one is more about worldbuilding, discovery, and teaching us Equestrian myths, and is no less fun for it.
Jump in on this if you’d like to see some ponifications of real-world urban myths from the Dink. If I had to point out any flaw, it would be that Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch didn’t make this into the awesome collection of worldbuilding shorts it could have been.
So, the original piece was adorable, but what I really love about this is how well Lapis manages to worldbuild in a relatively short amount of time. We have myths and stories in the real world about spirits and fae creatures, and so seeing Dinky going about and exploring them all was a real treat. Plus, Lapis does an excellent job of keeping Dinky feeling, well, like a kid. One of the first things I liked about digging in to this story was the fact that Dinky is a latchkey kid (something I was growing up), and how that added to her own sense of wonder at exploring the world around her.
We get to meet a very diverse cast of new friends for young Dinky, and I think I find myself in agreement with Paul over the fact that there aren’t more little collections of stories that try to bring real-world mythos to life. It’s a neat concept that I haven’t seen pulled off effectively by other authors, and honestly Dinky is just fun and adorable to follow about for an afternoon.
The night runs long as a DJ sits alone, trying to produce a new track.
Unfortunately, nothing seems to be working quite right.
“Being good doesn’t mean you’re destined for fame and fortune.” — Octavia
That alone defines this story. It’s about Vinyl suffering from a streak of poor results on her latest album and the crushing defeat of feeling like a failure at the thing you’re best at. It’s about putting your heart and soul into something only for it to go ignored. And, most importantly, it’s about realigning our expectations to better fit with reality.
This is a story for the artist, whatever their medium. Not the big ones with their names on billboards and a millions screaming fans, but the ones who spend their entire lives and never hit that top 100 chart. The author whose books never sell more than a few hundred copies apiece, that musician who is relegated to making stupid radio commercials, the painter who can only sell his canvases at local fares. In other words, the vast majority of us.
AndrewRogue, a highly underappreciated author in their own right, reminds us of what is important and why we started doing this in the first place. And for that extra spice, it’s also a touching friendshipping tale between everyone’s favorite pony musicians. So give it a read, and remember: success is more personal than “Success”.
There’s nothing quite like reading the opening line to a story and instantly laughing that laugh you laugh when you empathize so deeply with a sensation that the only reason you’re laughing is because crying would probably trigger a spiral of sobbing and a binge on Ben and Jerry’s at 10pm. Vinyl definitely is feeling a huge bit of creative burnout, and the frustration that comes with dealing with it.
I definitely think burnout is a good word for it, too. Vinyl spends a lot of time just… obsessing over the fact that she’s spent another day not creating. And that… can be a very familiar feeling for any creative individual. There’s a point where we sit and tell ourselves that ‘if we just devote everything to working, it’ll be great!’ And… sometimes stuff works out, other times we end up with a finished product that makes us ill to look at. Or we get so frustrated with what we are creating we… break things. Sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, or sometimes just enough that we find ourselves disgusted with the art that we so desperately love but feel unrecognized for.
Okay, without turning this story into a blog post (which I might do anyways cause Goddess Luna on the Moon the feels in here are painfully familiar), Vinyl’s struggles and Tavi’s comforting feel genuine, and I am really glad we’re able to give AndrewRogue a bit of the praise he deserves. Fame isn’t...good. And there’s a lot of psychology that tells us what we think of fame is often terrible for us.
What is good for us, is having friends there to support us through the hard times, and to remind us that, like Paul put it, success is often more personal that “Success.”
Once upon a time, two strangers met at a carnival, and after a night of whirlwind romance, fate pulled them apart. Now, five years later, their paths cross again, and they get a chance to find out what might have been, as they learn more about each other and discuss what's been going on in their lives in the years since. And yet, once again, they only have a few hours to do so before they have to go their separate ways.
Y’know what it’s like to wait a whole year for someone then they don’t show up? It sucks. So when Aegis shows up at Bluebell’s stand at the market after five years of nothing, she’s not inclined to be forgiving.
Shippers Delight! Our conversational couple from Before Closing returns, this time in Bluebell’s hometown as she and Aegis catch up on five years of no contact. Like the previous story, this one doesn’t leap straight into the lovey dovey feewings, instead giving our two protagonists a chance to catch up. Also like the previous one, their conversations roam around, covering things like physical attraction, philosophy (which in the context put here may be synonymous with religion), and the nature of tolerance. Plus, y’know, the whole “so, uh, you’re still single, right?” thing they both know they’ll eventually have to bring up.
The thing that gets me about this is that I am very much against the whole love at first sight idea. It’s… unrealistic. And yet isn’t that what this story (and its predecessor) are? As Bluebell points out, by the end of this story they’ve known one another for less than half a day, and yet… and yet…
The true magic of this story is that Rambling Writer makes it work.
Is it better than its predecessor? I don’t think it is trying to be. I think this is just Rambling Writer expanding upon concepts already given and giving fans of the previous story a little something extra to chew on. And I’m fine with that. I certainly enjoyed it for what it was.
ARGH I WANTED TO REVIEW THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE IT FITS SO WELL TOGETHER!!!! Okay, not that I have that out of my system…
I loved this story to bits because it was an excellent follow up to Before Closing. Rambling Writer, as always, has a beautiful way of making conversations between characters seem natural, and he did an excellent job of writing scenes that were going to be inherently awkward. However, the fact that he pulls this off and still gives the reader something to enjoy after the rather silly hopeful ending to Before Closing is beautiful.
I love how the conversation weaves back and forth between the two protagonists between various topics. And that they are able to have a very frank discussion about ‘you stood me up over a year ago you booger, why would I talk to you again?’ I agree with Paul. Love at first sight stories are honestly kinda dull to me, because often relationships require work, and both characters own that they’ve really only known each other for less than a day. However, short connections can definitely make an impression, and I think that the ending to this story gives the reader a bit more to think about, just like the original.
I’d love a third story where they finally get together but that’s just my shipping senses tingling.
Celestia privatizes the sun.
I have to admit, when this got recommended I… had concerns. But then Heartshine hit me with the big pony eyes—you know the ones—and the cynical, ‘super serious’ part of me crumbled like a house of cards. You know how that is, right?
So. This story. It’s… well, to be blunt, it’s a crackfic. Worse, it’s focus is stupid funny, and those who read my regular blog know I’m not fond of stupid funny. To put it mildly. Very mildly. And yet…
As dirty as it makes me feel, I must acknowledge that I was grinning the whole time. The story runs on the stupidity of… hmm. Hard to pin down. The world, I suppose. It’s got the idiocy of government, the idiocy of big business, the idiocy of mainstream media, the idiocy of lawyers, the idiocy of bureaucrats, the idiocy of experts. It may be, perhaps, a parody of American political and business culture in general, topping it all off with a touch of “their idiocy will doom us all.” It’s fun and ridiculously over the top, as these stories tend to be. The Twilight cameo was the highlight for me. I kinda-sorta wish some of the others had shown up, like AJ leading a powerful agricultural lobby in order to protect the farmers via purchase of the sun only to lose a bidding war with Rarity’s fashion empire or something. I’unno, I’m not a crack writer.
I’ve said it once, and now I get to say it again: even I have some crackfics I enjoy. And to think, if Heartshine hadn’t metaphorically twisted my arm, I never would have known this existed. I don’t know whether to be grateful or begrudging. Oh, she’s giving me the eyes again. Grateful, I absolutely mean grateful, honest!
I made Paul read a comedy fic and he enjoyed it! Hah! Small victories aside, this story cracked me up. It’s definitely a crack fic, but the dark humour of it is what drew me to it. It’s somewhat like Idiocracy meets ponies, and the side effects are well… darkly humorous.
Basically this story looks at the idiocy of… well, people (or in this case, ponies) in charge. There’s some clear political bent to the author’s intentions, but the way he dryly delivers lines just made it that much funnier for me. Twilight has a great Cameo, as does Cadance, and the entire time we’re left going ‘yes but who thought it was a good idea to put adverts on the sun?’
I may have also wanted to suggest a fic for once that didn’t make me go through a box of tissues, so Paul got to… struggle through my bout of suggesting utter silliness.
“So I put this here?”
“Mmhmm!”
“And that there?”
“Oh, oh yeah!”
“You know, I didn’t think I’d have any fun with this, but now I’m kind of excited! And I really want one of those purple crystals,” Paul said, looking over the stack of books, paper, and dice that he and Heartshine had spread across the table.
“Hey Paul, where did we put the spare flu-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Corejo shouted as he poked his head into Paul’s office.
Heartshine’s ears drooped. Oh no! Caught in the act! All the Angels were gonna judge!
Corejo disappeared from the doorway, only to reappear later with Cynewulf and Matthew in tow.
“Look! Look what I caught them doing!” Corejo said, staring at the scene.
Matthew looked confused. “They’re… playing with dice?”
Cynewulf’s typically unreadable expression broke into a soft squee as she darted for the stack of books. “Is this the new edition of Tails of Equestria?!” She squeaked.
Heartshine looked back and forth between the gathered Angels and Paul. “I thought you said they wouldn’t be interested!”
“I wasn’t sure they were interested!” Paul replied, a look of mild shock on his face. “I mean, until you explained to me that I could have my own adventures in your home, it didn’t sound fun at all!”
Corejo walked over to Heartshine’s cushion, and stared down at her. After a moment, he broke into a goofy grin as he mussed her mane.
“I have only one question.”
“Y-yes?” Heartshine asked, hoping she hadn’t just ruined Paul’s life.
“Can we join?”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Someone suggested my story about 2 weeks ago. I wonder if it might make the cut?
Meanwhile, both our spare flute and spare flux capacitor are still very, very lost.
How do I opt out of these notifications in my feed?
5118002
Simply put, that depends entirely on the reviewers who volunteer for the round. It would also need to be completed before we can consider it, but it seems you're working on that one ;)
5118039
Go to your feed, then to your view settings, and turn off social site posts.
5118131
Yes, I have 12 chapters finished already, and I am working to finish the other 9
5118131
Thank you very much!