To my friends long lost. · 6:57am Sep 2nd, 2019
I suppose the first thing to get out of the way is to clear any confusion as to who I am, saying as I've not been active in years, and have snice gone through several personas in my path of self-discovery.
You may have known me in the past, if you all remember at all, under a few different names... Bassline and Melody, Vanilla Breeze, Orchis Bloom, Zhe...but I feel it is time to drop masks. My name, my real name, is Mya.
A lot has happened since I have spoken to you all, some good, most...not. I will keep it brief and will just say abuse is not fun. I know I was depressed in the past, but it seems I only just realized recently how deep it cuts, but don't worry too much, I have support enough that I will be okay, for the most part.
Now why am I finally now sending this message out after all these years? To be honest, I do not know. I just felt I needed to eventually. I suppose I felt a need to mend the bridges I had let crumble with time and let you all know the real me. I owe you all that much at least.
Knowing the downward trend of this community, I do not even know if any of you will see this post go up, if you all even come back here anymore. And if so, if you will even take the time to read this... I certainly hope so.
I made great friendships here. I only wish I was as good at keeping friends as I was at making them.
It’s good to breathe out.
Hello Mya, I hope you remember me as it definitely has been a long time.
I'm sorry to hear you're not in the best of states right now, but I'm glad you have support and friends who care (p.s: You can count me in there if you need, y'know?).
I'm sorry if I sound apathetic, I assure you that isn't the case, but may I know about the "muffin" part of your current display username?
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Oh, I definitely remember you. Many details are hazy now, as to be expected with me, but I remember enough that you were one I really hoped would remember yourself. The muffin is just an allusion to a common nickname of mine is all. The Doe-Neko part is a reference to both my middle name (Koneko) and the fact that I am deer.
5115085
That it is, though I am a little unsure what you mean by that.
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Letting go of anxiety, such as by posting this blog.
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Ah, derp. Well, all the more reason to agree. I feel a little better today than I did last night. I do still wish I had more of a response to let me know I reached more old friends, but that was always the case, even back then. Oh well.
5115189
At least you're doing better.
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I hope to see you around more often. Take care!
Of course I remember you Mya, I do value friendship a bit too much for my own good, sometimes
Holy frick I remember Bassline and Melody but it's been so long that I've forgotten how I interacted with you. Wow. Do you remember me?
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Unfortunately, not really. I cannot help but wonder if it is a new name or if it is just my notoriously bad memory to blame. I would love to be reminded, though.
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My name a long time ago was BBOFF if that helps. My avatar was an irrational cube (Escher cube) for a long time.
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Yes! I remember that! I do not remember what it stood for, but I remember! Aaaaaaa, I am so happy!
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Big Box Of Fun Facts haha. So oooold
*Laughs his head off*
Abuse?? Like the kind you perpetrated against 2 of my best friends?
You lived in their home, practically ran them financially bankrupt, Cost one of them their reputation in the workplace for trying to help you get a job and you going all whack and wanting to off yourself AT work. People typically have to pay their fair share in a shared housing situation but for how long of that year did you actually /work/? Yeah, thought so. You just wanted a free ride.
They worked tirelessly to help you become the person you wanted to be by helping you through all the legal hoops to get your name and gender legally recognized and on the hormones you so desperately wanted. What did you do? Bite the hand that fed you.
Your disguise falls and your true manipulative side comes out and nearly destroys the ones who tried to care for you. You say they are "abusive?" Yeah, I think not. You then have your mama fight your fights for you. Come on!!! You are 21 years old.
Do a couple things... either off yourself like you kept threatening to everyone to do, and do us all a goddamned favor, or grow the fuck up and realize the reason why you cannot keep friends is because you are a manipulative bitch and that you need some serious help. When is your next appt with Jason Chin, your counselor? you should address this to him. They have medications to help!
Shalom out, bitch,