A thought experiment about quantum writers · 6:53pm Aug 15th, 2019
There is a rather famous thought experiment that goes like this:
Imagine there is a cat. Be it a tabby, or perhaps a stripey one with seven claws and a bad eye due to an unfortunate fishing incident, or perhaps a large floofy fluffy one that has too much fur for its own good; it does not matter because it may very well be dead by the end of this sordid test.
You place the cat in a box. A nice box. One that, for all intents and purposes, is completely sealed in a specific method in that there is no way for us to know what is going on inside the box unless it is opened. The contents of the box shall and always will remain a mystery as long as the box is closed.
The box is probably made out of metal, but perhaps felt, if one were an adventurous scientist.
Placing said cat inside said box creates for us a new item called cat-in-box. This cat-in-box shall remain such, until we also add, to the box, a small thing of radiation, upon which the cat-in-box becomes a cat-and-radiation-in-box, or CARIB for short.
The CARIB is now fitted with a device (to make it a CARADIB) that will detect the eventual (or perhaps non-eventual) decay of the radioactive thingie and react accordingly. If the radioactive thingie decays, then the device will deploy one thousand killer bees that will set upon the cat without mercy and sting it in the eyes until they swell up and explode, thus rendering the cat blind and in a lot of pain.
The thought experiment thusly, goes like this:
The Copenhagen Interpretation of quantum mechanics states that subatomic events superimpose upon itself -- that is to say, they both do the do, and don't the don't at the same time. It is only upon the observation of the event that it finally decides to pick a side and come down on a decision, very much like a young girl who has to leave for school prom in 2 minutes and hasn't chosen a dress yet.
Therefore, Erwin Rudolf Josef Alexander Schrödinger, in his infinite wisdom of things normal people don't really care about, stated that this idea was very much like a cat that was both simultaneously stung in the eyes and not stung in the eyes at the same time, and only upon the opening of the box will we ever know what the cat decided for itself.
Which brings me to another thought:
When is an author really... here?
When an author upon a site for writing silly pony stories suddenly decides to leave, what does that mean, really?
Perhaps he is lurking in the shadows, waiting. Perhaps he is not.
Perhaps he has been checking in every day under a false account, so as to stroke his ego, but perhaps he really did leave for a great many days due to life, and work, and other bee-related situations.
But in order to understand the truth, and the whole truth, we must consider the idea of what the state of the author is.
And the author... auths. He writes. She tells tales. We sing words and songs of fancy and regale readers with the harmonies of keyboard smashings that just happen to align into delightful little sonnets.
The author posts stories.
But in the end, the author is also, him or herself, trapped in that box. That box of uncertainty, that, to anyone looking, will only be a question of 'if' and nothing more. At this moment, despite the author's actions and posts, there is still a quantum superposition of the idea of him being here and him being not here.
It is a box.
But it is a box that, when opened, will finally show a choice, because as we know, authors are not, in fact, subatomic events, and certain actions are most certainly tied to certain states.
And thusly, the only one conclusion to the question of Schrödinger's Author is that:
The author will truly be back
once a story is posted.
I sincerely hope this means what I think it means.
~Skeeter The Lurker
5106605
That KitsuneRisu isn't allowed to adopt cats any more?
5106605
5106636
It obviously means he's going to fuck bees.
Because it's hip to fuck bees, and kitsu is a cool cat.
May our quantum states ever resolve into stories, not bees.
Here's where you reveal your alt account?
5106657
Yes. I admit. My alt account is Skywriter.
5106662
YOU FOOLED EVEN ME
But if words always exist, is a writer even needed at all?
(I suck at these. Why do I think I'm funny?)
You are a strange kitty.
It never works, everyone just eats the bees. It happens every time, release the bees and the bees get eaten; don't release the bees and they break into the container full of bees so they can eat the bees and the bees get eaten.
I'm hyped. However, if what you're conjuring doesn't entail Twilight stuffing Opal into a box I'm going to leave a sad face emoji in the comments.
I'd also like to recommend the double-slit experiment as the feature for your next quantum mechanics/fimfiction author hybrid post. Depending on what your opinion is of Feynman and Deutsch one can have much fun extrapolating the all-encompassing concept of infinity from it.
5106917
All I know about infinity is like
stones and shit
and stuff
I'm basic.
What is an author and what does it mean to make things? If I could stop worrying about Art i could be Happy
Heya Kitsu.
Never forget.
Hell yeah, dude.
Sometimes you just need a few years to yourself.
Or sometimes you just need to act like you were gone when you weren't.
I'm glad to see you active again, whether you were or not already.
5107113
HEYA CYNE.
Ya big gooberbutt.
How's it blooging?
5107117
Thank you for reminding me I did that
5107236
I am well, in aggregate. I spend most of my time playing magic the gathering and talking to my cat.
5107313
But do you play magic the gathering with your cat?
5107319
Not anymore I don’t, because she only plays degenerate combos and it’s such a miserable time