Friendship is Card Games: 2, 4, 6, Greaaat · 11:17am Aug 11th, 2019
This week, Rainbow Dash nearly ruins everything by being impatient, indifferent, and inconsiderate.
Why do I feel nostalgic?
I’m not sure how to feel about Jocklestia, but between her thirst for adventure and some fan portrayals of her, it can work out. Though I do wonder how much Twilight’s peer group cared about athletics while they were enrolled there. Twilight and Moondancer obviously weren’t interested, but the others? And there’s also the question of how much mandatory physical education a school for gifted unicorns demands…
It’s weird to see them setting up a buckball field, given that we saw one in “A Matter of Principals,” which introduced the artifacts that would play a major role in “School Raze.” This references the Buckball Hall of Fame, so “Common Ground” would also have to take place before the end of Season 8, and “Buckball Season” was only in…
Season 6? 
Okay, there’s more time to work with than I thought. Chronology checks out; not like there’s any evidence of whether or not the Tree of Harmony’s reincarnated yet.
Hmm. Not sure if giving it 120% counts as a dollar in the “20% cooler” jar. Though Smolder’s comment later on definitely does.
This is definitely an episode with some easy Equestria Girls parallels to draw. After all, human Dash is the captain of just about every sports team at CHS… but what about the cheerleaders?
That said, the biggest weakness of this episode is the idea that Rainbow Dash knows nothing about cheering. Think about that. Rainbow “Elements of a good cheer” Dash claims to neither know nor care about this.
Yeah, bit of an issue.
The nicest thing about a buckball-focused episode is that Snails gets some dignity. Snips, meanwhile, builds on the inexplicable greed that he displayed in “Common Ground.” As I said then, at least it’s a character trait other than blithering stupidity.
I do appreciate the faux buckball mark that’s part of Snips’s superfan outfit. If it’s good enough for professional actors, it’s good enough for sports fans.
For reference, Shimmy Shake is red, Lighthoof is blue. Rumble is gray. 
If Ocellus is still trying to wriggle out of the “shy shapechanger” pigeonhole, then this definitely makes sense as a relatively early episode. Heck, the cheerleader outfit might be how Smolder discovered her secret love of frills.
Meanwhile, Silverstream is notable in her absence. You’d think she’d be involved in anything that involves irrational exuberance. Though in her case, it might be a bit too exuberant.
Dash may not know much about cheerleading, but it’s not like she knew much about teaching either. And yet, here she is. (And she does have a less than positive track record with buckball coaching, though student volunteers might be competitive enough to be a good fit for her methods there.)
Interesting to see Smolder’s breath has a smoke setting. I wonder if Spike’s been showing her some tricks, or vice versa.
Snips might be the equine incarnation of a convention vendor hall, but he does have some good points. For all the wrong reasons, but still.
One thing I will say, the colt dolts have definitely made great strides in mastering their magic. Trixie being in Ponyville on a regular basis might have contributed to that, especially given her own Glimmering lessons. It’d certainly explain how Snails is able to autolevitate. And even Snips can catch Ocellus in midfall.
I do appreciate Smolder’s exasperation with Dash’s indifferent “coaching.” Even beyond her expectations for Dash, she’s a dragon. She expects firm, unyielding decisiveness in her leaders. A draconian approach, if you will.
Snails: Demonstrating the difference between intelligence and wisdom since 2016.
I am surprised that Pinkie didn’t offer more constructive advice, given how she’s cheered before, back during the Equestria Games qualifiers. Still, i suppose she was a bit occupied in coaching the team.
Meanwhile, Zecora needs no rhyming dictionary and is insulted by any implications that she might possess such a thing.
Hoof + lips = whistle? How does horse? 
I can’t help but think of one time when I was on the receiving end of insufficient faculty oversight and input during an extracurricular activity. Science Olympiad was a fun time to spend after school messing around and hanging out with friends… until the end of the year, when it turned out there was a competition and I had no blessed idea what I needed to do.
Not everything is awesome with Rainbow Dash, Smolder. Sometimes it’s cool and/or radical.
It’s weird to think of anyone being more enthusiastic than Pinkie, though the “things she cares about” qualifier does make it work. Pinkie goes wide with her enthusiasm, while Dash goes tall.
I was wondering how the School of Gifted Unicorns would handle a sport that explicitly needs all three tribes working together. The wings are a lovely callback to “Sonic Rainboom,” but that ring… Suppressor rings are actually canon now. Can’t say I ever saw that coming.
Also, the Royal Canterlot Cheer is a thing of wonder and beauty.
On that note, beating CSGU might not have ended well. I’m not saying Celestia would have glassed the playing field, but I am saying that keeping a few rainclouds on standby wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Also, if buckball is played until one team gets five goals, how exactly do you determine when halftime is?
Making someone learn their lesson by dropping them in the situation with only the vaguest guidance to the solution you have in mind… Twilight has learned well from both Celestia and the Tree of Harmony. Whether that’s a good thing or not is left as an exercise for the reader.
In all… Well, last week was a Cheese Sandwich episode. This was always going to be a bit of a letdown. But this, watching as the situation got progressively worse for five sixths of the runtime with Dash blithely letting it happen? Yeah, not that fun, especially given the discontinuity issues. It certainly ended on a pleasant note, but seeing the orchestra fumble up until that point wasn’t the most enjoyable experience.
Ah well. Halftime’s over. Let’s see what I can put into play:
Hornlock W
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 for each of its activated abilities.
Enchanted creature’s activated abilities can’t be activated.
“That which kills your magic only makes you stronger.”
—Fizzlepop Berrytwist
On the Sidelines 1W
Enchantment
W: Target creature you control without exalted gains defender and exalted until end of turn. (Whenever a creature you control attacks alone, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each instance of exalted among permanents you control.)
Sponsorship Deal 2W
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant another player
Spells enchanted player casts cost 1 less to cast.
Whenever enchanted player casts a spell, you gain 2 life.
Even when everyone wins, some can win more than others.
Inspire Awe 3W
Sorcery
Whenever a creature attacks this turn, tap target creature defending player controls.
Rainbow Dash’s catchphrases have roots in the psychological tactics of old Pegasopolis, making the enemy dread even the thought of combat.
Defensive Mentor 4W
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Each white creature you control can block an additional creature each combat.
“Go wide. Very wide.”
2/5
Celestia’s Cheer X1W
Sorcery
Tap all creatures with power X or less target player controls. Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
Nopony bets against a team that’s earned the sun’s favor.
Scroll Scribe 1UU
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Whenever an instant or sorcery card is put into a graveyard, you may exile that card. If you do, return each other card exiled with Scroll Scribe to its owner’s graveyard.
X, T: You may copy a card with converted mana cost X exiled with Scroll Scribe. If you do, you may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.
1/3
Glitterwing Defender 2U
Creature — Unicorn Warrior
Flying
Whenever Glitterwing Defender becomes the target of a spell or ability, it get -1/-0 and loses flying until end of turn.
Rarity found another reason to root for the School of Friendship.
3/2
Third-Eye Mentor 2U
Creature — Unicorn Monk
Flying
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, blue creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
“There is nothing beyond the game. Empty your mind of those meaningless concerns. Become one with your basket.”
1/3
Vested Interest 2B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant opponent
Whenever enchanted player draws a card, they lose 1 life.
B, Pay 1 life: You and enchanted player each draw a card.
“You’re welcome.”
Indifferent Mentor 3B
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flying
Whenever a black creature you control dies, you lose 1 life and draw a card.
“You’ll be fine. Rub some cloud in it.”
2/2
Smoke Breath 1R
Sorcery
Up to three target lands don’t untap during their controllers’ next untap steps. Scry 1.
Smolder’s trial runs brought back uncomfortable memories of the snoring dragon.
Two-Stage Cannonade 1R
Sorcery
Choose one —
• Two-Stage Cannonade deals 1 damage to each creature you don’t control.
• Two-Stage Cannonade deals 3 damage to each creature dealt damage this turn.
Entwine 4 (Choose both if the entwine cost was paid.)
Offensive Mentor 2R
Creature — Pony Warrior
Other red creatures you control get +1/+0.
“And remember, just because you’re crushing the opposition beneath your hooves doesn’t mean you can’t have fun while doing it!”
3/2
Seismic Stomper 2R
Creature — Ox Warrior
1R, T: Seismic Stomper deals 2 damage to each creature without flying and each player.
Every Yakyakistani holiday marks a new earthquake in the Crystal Empire.
3/2
Trick Play 3R
Instant
Assist (Another player can pay up to 3 of this spell’s cost.)
Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.
Interceptions flow like water in buckball.
Accessorizing Mentor 3G
Creature — Unicorn Advisor
Each green creature you control gets +2/+2 for each permanent attached to it.
“You guys look great! Now, we have this new sponsor…”
2/2
Paired Dancer 3G
Creature — Pony Citizen
When Paired Dancer enters the battlefield, if it’s not a token, create a token that’s a copy of it.
Paired Dancer has hexproof as long as you control another creature named Paired Dancer.
Some friendship is more obvious magic.
2/2
Pony Pyramid 3
Artifact
3, T: Create a 1/1 blue Unicorn creature token. Put a brick counter on Pony Pyramid.
3, T: Create a 1/1 blue Unicorn creature token, a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying, and a 2/2 green Pony creature token. Activate this ability only if there are three or more brick counters on Pony Pyramid.
Blithe Indifference WB
Sorcery
Each player who controls the most artifacts or is tied for most sacrifices an artifact. Repeat this process for creatures, enchantments, and planeswalkers.
Every Bearer exists in a state of balance. Rainbow Dash’s loyalty must constantly war against an all-consuming apathy.
Equip the Squad 2WU
Sorcery
Any number of target players each creates a token that’s a copy of target artifact or enchantment none of those players control.
Rainbow knew better than to ask how Rarity knew to prepare yak- and dragon-sized uniforms.
Dysfunctional Squad 2BR
Creature — Pony Warrior
Dysfunctional Squad can’t be the target of spells or abilities you control.
Crude, argumentative, insubordinate, misbehaving, and unmotivated, but effective.
5/5
Twilight really is turning into miniCelestia. I'd say that hoofbump confirms it.
Giving a Sponsorship Deal to the lavaspike.dec in 1v1 would be hilariously crippling. (For those playing at home, that's a pile of mountains and spells that do 3 damage to the opponent for one red mana; it barely benefits from the cost reduction and is crippled by the life gain)
I get the feeling that Celestia has spent a very long time typecast into a very narrow role, and now she's trying out every single concept that she can get her hooves on. It doesn't matter all that much what it is, so long as it has nothing to do with "princessing". She'll probably settle down in a while, once the novelty has worn off.
It's at least 50 cents.
Seriously. They had the gall to bring back the fucking magical butterfly wings from season one, and yet from the very same episode this little tidbit of character is completely forgotten? This is the writer who did Horse Play, it's obvious they have zero respect for the characters. This is one of those episodes that just made me angry, and I don't even like Rainbow Dash!
Wow. Between the comments here and some of the trends in the fandom, I'm starting to wonder if it's worth catching up at this point (Again. Why does this keep happening?)
Is pony still good or has the meat gone rotten? I mean, consistency's never been this show's strong suit, and bleedover from the fandom has been hit and miss, but this... maybe Filly Funtasia's just spoiled me a little
but this sounds like it's a bit much.
*looks at the pile of S8 eps he still has to watch*
5103831
Every season has its stinkers. Even Season 2 had "The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well." Season 9 has had some real gems thus far ("Twilight's Seven," "Frenemies," and "Between Dark and Dawn" to name a few.) Though if you skipped over this episode specifically, you wouldn't be missing much.
...Yeah, funny thing is, I was expecting a repeat of the classic "louder! yay... Louder! yay...! LOOOUUUUDER!" scene, with Occellus.
Though I suppose giving her a megaphone works too.
You know, with this episode and the last where he discovered that he has a knack for selling fan merchandise, the symbolism of him taping over his cutie mark strikes me as rather meaningful.
What was his talent before this? It's like he's found an entirely new one, not reflected by his mark.
Ocellus identity issues make sense - I imagine, being a young changeling openly living among ponies, all most ponies will remember of her is her being this one classmate who "can do this crazy party-trick".
I also am reminded of that moment with her in Counselor Starlight's office talking about her identity issues - one of the forms she took was that of a Bugbear, I believe. So... Ocellus sometimes sees herself as a monster. Clearly self-reflection on the old days under Queen Chrysalis' rule.
...Speaking of the old bug-queen, I didn't get around to bring this up after "Frenemies", but Chrysalis' vehement refusal of friendship when all three villains almost reformed on the spot strikes me as a deep seated psychological issue. And it isn't just, because "friendship took away my hive". Remember, the scene where she almost accepted Starlight's hoof precedes her descent into madness.
...What are you so afraid of, Chrysalis? Why does friendship scare you?
That was certainly unexpected.
I do appreciate they had Celestia go back to talking in her "classic" calm voice immediately after.
...There's something about season 9 Celestia that weirds me out when she doesn't talk like that.
Probably it puts emphasis on the disassociation I have with season 9 Celestia/Luna because of their discontinuous character motivation with earlier seasons and ~8 years of fandom-interpretation. - _-;
...I must admit, I re-watched that bit three times and I still don't know what exactly she's shouting though.
Twilight totally pulled a Celestia on Dash. Next thing, she'll send her up mountains to evict sleeping dragons.
Which I can see Dash didn't appreciate, and it may not have been the first time she's done this.
Also, that hoofbump there between Twilight and Celestia was great. "Well done," indeed. It elaborates on the relationship Twilight and Celestia have now in under five seconds.
Too bad the camera was zoomed out so far, I could see some people missing this important character moment because of that.
You're absolutely right, this didn't feel in-character for Dash at all. At least don't literally abandon your students multiple times and instantly fly off every other time past the first meeting, Miss "Element of Loyalty".
If "Non-compete clause" felt like it would have made sense as a season 1 episode, this would have fit better in... season 3 or 4, maybe. Definitely not season 9.
Whereas all the other characters are shown to have grown and matured, in her "special episode", it's like she's suddenly regressed.
Still, if this is what counts as a "cucumber sea monster episode" in season 9, it's certainly an improvement.
Well, personally, I often get weirded out with people complaining about "pandering" (it's like they're seeing a joke and then go "BOOO! STOP TRYING TO BE FUNNY!" Thinking of the reaction to "I'm Mapplelicious!" in particular.), but even I have to admit they were self-deprecating the joke in the episode when Snips immediately quotes it right back at Dash.
5103841
I'm gonna hold you to that, then. If I am disappointed, I shall come for you, I will find you, and I'll... probably do a short ramble on the topic. If that.
I didn't hate Mare-Do-Well, myself. I just look at it differently. Teacher For a Day did something similar for its franchise Rainbow Dash, and I wholeheartedly recommend that one.
5103805
That moment was precious.
It shows how far the relationship between the two has changed, the Twilight Sparkle of earlier seasons would never have felt comfortable sharing a hoofbump with Princess Celestia.
I would argue that cheering and cheerleading are two different things. Dash understands the value of a crowd cheering for the team but she believes the game alone is enough to work the crowd up into a cheering frenzy and doesn't believe a cheerleading squad is actually nescessary.
Maybe they were in overtime because of the tie?
There were were a few really fun moments in this one. I laughed out loud both at Dash's "Zecora wasn't as much help as you'd think" line, and Twilight being a smug, manipulative c@#t... hoofbump and all.
"COME ON, SCHOOL OF MAGIC!"
I wonder whether she eats a bunch of mint before the show as a courtesy to the audience. Or does it just smell like coal no matter what?
I assumed that it was a last-second goal (don't sporting events in fiction always end with a last-second goal?). Although now I like iisaw's "overtime" explanation better.
Shouldn't the buckball player with the artificial wings also have a magic inhibitor ring on her horn?
Has this season had more montages than usual? I'm starting to feel like there's one in every episode, but I don't know whether that's always been the case and I'm just now noticing it.
5103842
5103931
Thought I'd make sure these two comments were linked. :)
Personally, I like this episode. Rainbow not knowing or caring about cheering is odd, but I found the humor and shenanigans entertaining enough to balance the fridge logic out.
The writing staff has definitely picked a rather odd time to exhume that dead meme.
Eh, suppressor caps have been arguable canon since the movie, depending on whether one interprets the horn caps the storm guard fitted on captured unicorns as magic suppressors, just an extra anchor for their harnesses or both. There's some preexisting groundwork for the concept, is the point I'm trying to make.
5104030
Thanks!
5104078
You're welcome. :)
There's the door.
5103805
I've noticed in S8 she has more defined laugh/ smile lines and tends to speak more slowly and quietly. She's definitely emulating somebody.
5103827
Yeah but every episode that isn't like... Season 1 or 2 (the worst) makes you angry. I'd say most people have learned to ignore your opinion on the show. I for one only vaguely trust you on the fic review stuff ever since we read different versions of To Perytonia.
5103831
>Filly Funtasia
Get out.
5104329
>ignoring all the episodes I have loved this season
I mean, okay, you do you.
5104440
Kinda overshadowed by how frequently you pitch fits, declare the show ruined, and say the most recent episode was the worst. It's almost a weekly occurrence and over the years I think I've asked somewhat frequently why you're still here if you hate the show so much.
5104564
I don't think you know me as well as you might think.
5104564 5104573
If you must continue this conversation, do it somewhere else. Let's keep the criticism on the episode, not each other.
5103870
This. RD knows cheers by volume.
5103842
Maybe he's good at cutting a deal?
I was shocked to see Snails self-levitating too. My 5-year-old daughter exclaimed "Only Starlight Glimmer can do that!" I said Twilight can as well, but still, wow.
I do enjoy the contrast between Snails as a spaced-out but basically peaceful colt and Snips as the mercenary one, even if Snips was played pretty one-note this episode.
The rhyming dictionary was completely ridiculous, but very funny.
Smolder was mostly great this episode, except for the suggestion that she needs someone to use flags to tell her how to fly in a circle.
Yeah, I was shocked and delighted both by the unicorn wings callback (given a certain semitranslucent Hama Bead coaster I made) and the suppressor ring. That's the sound of a thousand fanfic writers rubbing their hands together with glee.
And yeah, overall this was a fairly disappointing episode, just because of Dash having firm grasp of the Jerk Ball for so long. Bleh.
Nice cards as always. I like the Mentor cycle, perfectly referencing the original cycle as always (with particular bonus points for the Rabid Wombat reference). Vested Interest is really interesting and I could definitely find a deck or two for it. I like how Seismic Stomper will kill itself, reminiscent of Crypt Rats or Earthshaker. Pony Pyramid made me giggle: yes, of course an Amonkhet mechanical callback is perfect for a card with that name.
Your flavour text on Blithe Indifference is particularly insightful. The pattern mostly holds: Twilight is by nature an introvert, Rarity has a huge self-centred streak, Fluttershy would often rather avoid other ponies altogether, and this episode, for all its annoyance, is not out of character for Rainbow Dash, at least as she was at some point in the series. Not sure it's so true for Applejack or Pinkie Pie though.
Well, let's try not to let this go completely unanswered. Unlike other FiCG posts I could name...
5103805
That is the plan in terms of handing over the reins of power.
Hmm. Do you think Equestria still uses that term? Takes on a much different connotation if they do, more about the burden of acting as the ultimate public servant than the sense of being the guiding hand.
5103808
That's the ideal case, yes. Experimental Frenzy, brought to you by Starbucks!
5103815
That is the most charitable interpretation of Kaita Mpambara's... idiosyncratic take on Celestia that I've ever seen. I like it!
5103842
As an alternative to 5105256's suggestion, maybe Snips specializes in selling cut-rate merchandise?
Ocellus is definitely still working through the same baggage as the rest of her species. And she doesn't even have a feelings forum available! Sure, she has her friends and professors, but no one else who's gone through the same incredible societal upheaval. Silverstream probably comes closest in terms of coming out of hiding after suffering under a tyrant, but at least the Storm King wasn't right freaking there all the time.
Because it would mean admitting she was wrong. That she made her people suffer needlessly for untold years because she was too proud and paranoid to simply ask for love, or find an alternative to parasitism altogether. It would mean dropping the denial and recognizing that she failed as a queen on every conceivable level, and that would break her worse than losing the hive ever could.
I honestly preferred "P.P.O.V." Yes, it's a shaggy bunyip story, but I enjoyed the Rashomon framework, and the character exaggeration at least had justification in the form of malicious misremembrance.
5103870
Probably the best way to interpret/reconcile this, yes.
5104071
I'd honestly forgotten about the horn caps in the movie. Good catch.
It's a bit fresher for me (in the sense of pain,) since Horizon worked it into the Bronycon script reading. There was even an audience participation element to it.
5106520
Yeah, this is one of those episode's that's best broken down for parts.
Applejack's balance isn't between honesty and dishonesty—not since she was a teenager, anyway—it's between honesty and avoidance. She doesn't distort uncomfortable truths, she tries to ignore or escape them. Sometimes by going all the way to Dodge Junction. Pinkie, meanwhile, exists on a knife's edge between mania and depression, arguably the Bearer who is most at risk of going too far into her Element as much as falling into the void.
And that's the biggest risk, not becoming their antitheses but becoming an absence of both vice and virtue. Even Rarity's worst case isn't hoarding—selfishness is merely generosity turned inward—but a creative fugue that leaves her producing nothing for anyone.
5104013
Hmm. Let's run down the list:
The Beginning of the End: Conquest montage of Sombra speedrunning the Crystal Empire.
Uprooted: Musical fix-stuff-up montage and the "getting parents/authority figures to sign permission slips" montage.
Twilight's Seven: The various suggestions for Rarity's plan arguably count, as does the rapid implementation of Twilight's.
The Point of No Return: Twilight searching for which silver location is now home to Dusty Pages.
Common Ground: Dash trying and failing to find Quibble Pants's athletic aptitude.
She's All Yak: Musical training montage in the spirit of My Fair Lady.
Frenemies: Threefold compare-and-contrast montage of Chrysalis and Cozy trying to scale Mount Everhoof while Tirek uses his time more constructively.
Sweet and Smoky: Spike trying and failing to bond with Garble.
Going to Seed: Apple Bloom's Great Seedling traps interfering with the harvest, often at Big Mac's expense.
Student Counsel: Starlight's marathon counseling sessions. Every creature in this school is crazy!
The Last Crusade: The loosest case of a montage on the list. The Crusaders trying to convince Scootaloo's parents kind of count, but the pacing may be to slow for it to be a genuine montage.
Between Dark and Dawn: Musical travel montage.
The Last Laugh: Pinkie trying and failing to get Cheese to smile.
So yeah, it does seem like a lot of writers are cramming lots of story in a little time. Not that surprising; it is the last season.
5106567
Them's gonna be some interesting fics upon her inevitable reformation.
Funnily enough, I think Tirek might be able to relate.
Speaking of the cucumber seamonster episode; I found it too bad they actually explained how they got back to shore, especially with just a throw-away line. I was expecting the episode to tease the audience with Spike repeatedly asking the question until the very end, then end on him asking the question again, and everypony laughing, roll credits, no explanation. There'd have been a few slice of life one-shots and at least one "three friends not speaking to each other stranded on an island"-AU in that. Ah well.
5106520
Oh, by the way: you seem to have forgotten that Twilight has had wings since before your daughter was born and therefore doesn't count. (Citation: this is season 9, subtract 5 from that and you still end up before the season 3 finale)