Bronycon part II: Bronycon and me

"But wait. You just posted a blog about Bronycon."

Yes, I did. However, this one will be different. It is going to be more emotional, at least for me, because this blog is less about how the con itself went and more about its impact on me. Besides the last post was getting rather long so I just cut it short and made this one it's own. This post is mostly me getting things out that I just feel like getting out so there isn't much of a need to read it if you read the prior one, unless you want to get to know me better.

First and foremost I feel incredibly lucky that it went as well as it did for me. The night before I left for Bronycon I had a headache. The next night, which was the night before Bronycon started, I had a full-on migraine and it was a rather unpleasant night trying to get some sleep. I was genuinely concerned that this was going to define my experience of Bronycon because it is very typical for me to get a chain of headaches and migraines. To make matters worse I left my migraine medicine at home. Not that I would necessarily take them anyways if I brought them. I have an incredibly high pain tolerance and usually don't take any pain relievers until it gets "rather extreme" as it was put to me once. In terms of the headaches and migraines, I know why I get them.

I am light and sound sensitive. The brightness of a normal cloudy day actually hurts my eyes with how bright it is. I went to go see Hamilton last October and while the audio wasn't by any stretch cranked up it was amplified and by the end of it I had a massive migraine. It was worth it though. This is why I was wearing sunglasses pretty much the entire time at the con. While it was worth it seeing Hamilton that was a one-night show and I could endure the pain for the night. This was a 4-day event and I didn't want to go through that and endure that kind of pain every night just to do it again the next day. I would have just been miserable the entire time. For the record, the night Bronycon ended I had another massive migraine as I tried to go to bed because I didn't keep wearing my sunglasses while hanging out in a hotel room as the lights in the hotel room were too bright for me.

I love art in all its forms. This includes music and I was really looking forward to catching some of my favorite musicians at Bronypalooza. Unfortunately, I was only able to catch Loophoof as I missed John Kenza, PegasYs, Faulty, Crusader! and 4EFB to name the ones at the top of my list. Well, I say catch. I actually couldn't even enter Bronypalooza for the reasons mentioned above. They, of course, had bright lights shining all over the place and the music was cranked massively loud to the point where I couldn't risk entering the room for any length of time at all. I would be willing to bet that the music was near, if not over, 100 decibels. As a result, I listened to the show while standing some distance away from the entrance to Bronypaooza. Enjoying it from a distance like I pretty much always have to for anything live. It is a seemingly sadistic irony given to me that I cannot go out and enjoy things I love in a live setting unless I enjoy it from a distance yet somehow it is also such a poetic truth about me.

One I am trying to change. 10 years ago if we were to have crossed paths and you tried to talk to me I would have been responding to you in a very similar manner to how Fluttershy did to Twilight in the first episode of the show. Not even 5 years ago going to an event of this magnitude was unthinkable. Booking this 6 months ago I was literally having a small anxiety attack. Getting myself to go to this was going to be a big deal. It was a social experiment for me. It was the closest con to me and it was the last year of it. Thus it was, by far, the best opportunity. While admittedly I went to quite a number of panels thus really limiting what I could do socially in terms of interacting the real key for me was going to this event, being in the crowds and try to enjoy myself while suppressing the ever-present feeling of a weight trying to crush and suffocate me.

While it wasn't a roaring success, as I almost never went out of my way to start any conversations, the fact that I managed to say hello to a handful of people and actually take part in a number of conversations with some strangers was a good positive step. Ultimately, for why I went, Bronycon was a success. I learned some valuable things from the experience, I got some memories I am going to cherish forever and I got to meet some awesome people. It is something I want to do again. Ideally next time I will try to do more socializing. Bronycon just had too much going on. The only question for me is what is going to be the next con? The next realistically possible one for me is Ciderfest.