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Struggling to edit and write, and starting to read.

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Bronycon, Thoughts and Writing (More of the middle than either of the other two) · 11:42pm Aug 6th, 2019

(This is majorly mopey for a bit, but I promise it's not anything negative about my experiences. It's just more about my feelings, and I end on the positives)

Bronycon has always been a bit odd for me.

They've been the only conventions that I've actively attended (outside of sneaking into CES on my dad's badge when I lived in Vegas), but I always worry I'm not actively enjoying them enough. I guess it's kind of similar to how I've been on FIMFic for years. I've had my own groups I join (Seattle's Angels, ponychan's /fic/ board, the writeoff), but I never connect much with people in them outside of a handful. I've never really taken the time to read as much as I should have being a "writer", partly from a bit of creative anxiety. I disappear for ages and then come back trying to write, and rarely really finish it.

As such, I get to Bronycon and connect with those I talk to regularly, like CSquared08 or Petrichord. I talk with those I've talked to before, like PresentPrefect or Wanderer D or Pascoite. I do some things with the people I'm close to. Then, well, it kind of devolves from there into watching those people talk to more people than I've probably ever really talked to on FIMFic. I go to panels and enjoy them, especially ones talking about writing, as little of it as I actually do. I go out for food with people that I know, and sometimes by virtue of them knowing other people, with different people. I head to the vendor hall either on my own or with someone else and grab some things (big shout-out to the Bronycon Bookstore for having an amazing showing for the first time attempting something like it. I'm so happy for those that had books sold there). Then it's the last day and I'm traveling home and I don't know how to feel.

I feel happy about what I experienced, but also sad. Not in a way that it's over, which I do feel. I guess it's all just a reminder of the things I chose not to do, for one reason or another over the years. I know it's not worth dwelling on, but I still do. I do all of the time.

I guess that comes to writing. Despite all this sort of melancholy mood I find myself in after Bronycon, it's also the time I feel the most inspired about writing, or reading (though it took me a whole year to actually start something I promised I would start reading last year). It probably comes from actually talking to people about writing, even if it's just story ideas I'll get around to writing sometime before 2035. I wasn't at the writer's dinner this year, but I got to hear Shakespearicles' rousing words at a panel later that night: It's in Our Hooves Now: The Importance of Fanfiction After the Series Ends.

I could spend all of my time from now til eternity regretting what I haven't done, or dreading what people think of me, or I can get ready to push this ride I still enjoy until the end and beyond. I don't know when I'll start writing again, but I hope it will be soon. I'm already working on the reading more, partly thanks to buying some great books from the Bookstore, and partly from this post-convention... haze.

Happier thoughts:

All of the panels I attended were great. I feel bad that I missed Them's Writing Words on Sunday due to grabbing a late lunch, the family writing panel on Thursday because of... something I can't recall, and the Voice Actor Script Reading panel due to a fear of LineCon. Thank you to all of the people who hosted any panel on writing, and to the two wonderful panelists I sadly can't remember who did one on analyzing MLP characters through the Magic: the Gathering color wheel. It was amazing and I'm all on-board the mono-red Maud train.

Thank you to Horizon, GapJaxie, Horse Voice, Aquaman, Cold in Gardez and Admiral Biscuit for signing either the books I bought of theirs from the Bookstore or for signing the horror anthology Nightmare Nights we were included in a few years back. I wish I had brought it last year to maybe have gotten a few extra signatures, but there are always more conventions.

Thanks to CSquared08 and Petrichord for playing board games when we had the time. It's always a blast, and we need to do it more on Discord.

Thanks to PresentPerfect for mentioning that amazing 1,000-piece puzzle I missed on my first walk through of the marketplace. Probably the coolest thing I bought besides a PaperPony shadowbox that I won't see for a few months.

Thanks to the members of the Royal Canterlot Library (Soge, Pascoite, RBDasg47, Horizon, PresentPerfect and FanofMostEverything) for their "best" Ponyfic panel (I say "best" because it's probably impossible to really pick one) for giving me a lot more than 16 things to get around to reading.

Thanks to rainsilent for talking with me about writing for a bit while CSquared08 napped. I hope I'll be able to get back on that Sliders crossover or the mini-fic thing soon. Also that Thing a Week plan.

Thank you all for just being a great fandom to be a part of, even if it's been at the edge of it looking in more often than it should have been.

I don't know if I'll get around to writing more soon, but I really hope I can. If nothing else, I have a promise to keep: If that bookstore happens again at a con next year, I'm going to have Fleeting Light and its three sequels in a book if I have to ruin my entire face on the grindstone.

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Comments ( 6 )

Damn right!

And y'know, I meant what I said about a Light in the Darkness book collection... :duck:


I'll save ya a copy. :rainbowdetermined2:

It's always a blast playing board games with you and just hanging out in general. Good games, good talks, good times.


Oh, I forgot to put it in there, but thanks again for telling me to watch Forgotten Friendship. You and Scampy.

It was an absolute pleasure getting the chance to meet and talk to you. Getting the chance to play new games with you made it that much better. I am looking forward to reading those stories.

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