It was the best of Cons, it was the worst of Cons ... · 3:24am Aug 5th, 2019
One way to tell if you're at a good Con is that you simply won't get to see everything-- there's just too much to do!
One way to tell if you're at a bad con is that you simply won't get to see everything-- because the lines are too goddamn long.
Guess how BronyCon 2019 worked out.
Now, disclaimer. I did enjoy myself at the convention. And yet, at the same time, things were ... kind of a mess. And I'm gonna get the complaining out of the way first, because that's what I stewed over during my plane ride. Ehehm.
So yeah. Let's do some math. Aside from the Mane Stage (the room of which housed ... I dunno, a couple thousand people?) there were ... three rooms for panels. One was big, so I'd say it held ... I dunno, 300 people? The other two were capped at 150. So that's 600 seats for non main-event panels. Factor in ... oh, I dunno, another 500 for the 'Adults Only' hall with the booze and panelists who could swear at you, that's still only 1100 programming seats (again, not counting the main stage in case you didn't feel like waiting for hours on end).
The current rumors/estimates place BronyCon's attendance somewhere around 11,000.
See the problem yet?
And the most frustrating part of it was, there was a TON of unused space at the convention center (which all the bronies spilled out into anyway). And yes, I understand that The Last Bronycon(tm) had double the attendance of last year (what, with everyone saying it's The Last Bronycon(tm) and all). But still, having bigger panel rooms, or even more panel rooms so you could have staggered the times more would have gone a long way in making things suck less.
Though there's still other baffling decisions like "oh hey let's just cram the fanfic writers in the crafting room as an afterthought" or "oh hey Equestria Daily gets what, 30,000 unique pageviews per day? Let's stick them in a room that only holds 150 people," and so on.
I think I'm just grumpy from the plushy craft gatekeeper lady giving me dirty looks every time I tried to get in and talk to the fanfic authors. Still, the bad planning was enough to bring out my inner misanthropy. Or should I say ... Miss Anthro Pony?
Wait, no. I'm a curmudgeon.
What didn't help was the fact that ... well, BronyCon did a lot to remind me that the pony fandom clawed its way out of 4chan, and hasn't yet shaken such a thing. Now, if you're reading this, that probably means you're following me 'cause of my fanfics, which means you are an individual of discerning wit and taste. And, y'know, for the most part, the vast majority of attendees at BronyCon were a bunch of harmless weirdos out to have a good time. And that's great! I'm all for people establishing their identities and expressing themselves and what have you.
Unless you're fucking gross about it.
Like the dude roaming around with a Pinkie Pie plush and a T-shirt that read "Tales of Necrophilia" on the back.
Or, like, I don't care if you're a fat dude in a tutu, that's fine, but maybe wear some goddamn shoes you degenerate hobo. Seriously, that can't be sanitary.
Or, maybe the shirt printed with ponies or anime girls or anime ponies giving the "oh-face" isn't something you should wear when kids are around? Or, like, ever?
Or ... do you have to carry that dakimura around with you? Everywhere? It strikes me as impractical. It's bulky, it ties up one of your arms ... and, y'know, it's more or less announcing to the world "I plan on dry-humping this later." And if that's a statement you want to make, however ironically, that's a choice, dude.
Sidenote, BronyCon was when I learned that all those booths are selling dakimura pillowcases and not custom-printed pillows themselves. Which makes more sense now that I think about it. Still, that shit can't be comfortable.
Again, I'm a curmudgeon. But still, it's the sort of thing that gives the fandom a bad name, y'know? Not ... like there's anything to be done about it now, I suppose. Harumph.
But I still had a good time at BronyCon!
Occasionally.
For one, it was a trip to see a bunch of FiMfic-writers in person. All the greats were there! Cold In Gardez! Horizon! Pascoite! Admiral Biscuit! Bookplayer! And so on! Most of whom had no idea who I was. Sempai did not notice me. I didn't see Aragon about-- I can only assume he was hiding from me. Though Majin Syeekoh did tell me I looked "remarkably normal," so that's a plus.
Probably didn't help that I didn't hang around Quills & Sofas for long periods of time-- I'd come in, poke around, lurk at the periphery of conversations ... and then kind of retreat 'cause I didn't want to impose and start telling people about how I'm Best at Ponies. Which, for the record, I am officially not best at ponies anymore. As I actually did make it into the RCL's "Best Fanfic Evar" panel (or whatever they called it), in which monochromatic's The Enchanted Library was non-scientifically declared as Best Pony Story.
(Displaced In the Butt: A Human In Equestria Story got robbed, I tell you).
Another sidenote: ROBCakeran53 is a goddamn treasure of a guy to hang out with (even if I only did so for brief periods). He also brought & maintained all the typewriters for Quills and Sofas (which had neither quills or sofas, dangit). If I feel really drunk self indulgent bored ambitious, I might even have to write a spoof of his work called "My Little Flashy" in which Flash Sentry (HERO OF EQUESTRIA!) gets hammered-ass drunk and then wakes up in a box and then swears at some random human because he's hungover.
Speaking of Flash! I tried to track down a Flash Sentry blind-bag on the few times I ducked into the vendor's hall (when there wasn't a 2 hour line, that is) but came up fruitless-- the funny part was when some other dude (wearing a Fez, I think) happened to also be looking for a Flash Sentry blind-bag, and he was really excited about it. He was like "oh hey, do you like Flash Sentry too?"
And I said ... "Kinda? I mean, I wrote a bunch of fanfic about him."
Which, well. Here's to hoping the kid reads said fanfic and isn't too traumatized by it.
Speaking of Flash (again), I should also note that The Flash Sentry Papers (the whopping ten copies of it) sold out in less than twenty four hours. So I guess that's neat. I had planned to pick up a few books myself-- Chris' The Purloined Pony, in particular, but that was sold the hell out as well.
To be honest, I'm not super-into pony merch-- though I did snag the core deck of Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder, so that's neat. And I made it to the "Let's make a TSSSF Card!" panel, which was honestly one of the best panels I made it to in the con. Just the right combination of enthusiasm towards the game and cynicism towards everything else that really spoke to me.
Another fun one I blundered into was the "Bronycon PR Drama" panel in the 21+ room. Which really humanized the BronyCon staff as they drunkenly shared stories of random bullshit they had to put up with over the years, including the tale of "Super Rainbow Dash." I'm sure there was more fun to be had in said hall, but at the same time the beers there were stupid expensive, and again, I'm an old man so I staggered back to my hotel room around 10 or 11 o'clock. Missed the 'pony burlesque' thing, which ... may have been a good call, if I think about it too hard. This also meant I missed a bunch of fanfic panels that were scheduled for late at night for some inexplicable reason.
I mean, between the lack of a dedicated fanfic panel track (or any other panel tracks, for that matter) as well as the fact that Quills & Sofas didn't get a proper space of their own, I kind of wonder if somebody in staff has it out for all us fanfic authors or something. Ah well.
So yeah. Winding down. Recovering. Should get to sleep soon. Though I feel the faintest hint of con-crud sickness threatening me-- imma have to chug down some vitamin C or something before long.
tl:dr: Went to a con. Even though it had problems I still had fun. For the most part.
Might post some pictures later if I'm ambitious.
Another blog that makes me far less sad that I couldn't go.
You absolutely have to write My Little Flashy! The idea is pure genius.
BTW, You're going to make The Flash Sentry Papers available to buy online, right? I need a copy!
I'm glad to have gone past you in person, even if we didn't actually 'meet' persay. Damn glad I got a copy of the book, though. Since I was right there at the register when you delivered a pack of them. I read through it and now I want to read the rest of them as well. Good stuff! Now you just need to make books for the rest of them, and your Equestria Girls stories.
I *think* I might have run into you? I don’t remember.
I was actually able to buy the Flash Sentry Papers display copy on Sunday afternoon. Not sure if I ever saw you in person; there were a lot of people and my memory isn't wired well for faces or names.
But yeah, the Linecon issue was strong. Sometimes you have to make your own fun. And sometimes the convention center double-books a fan convention and a Rubik's Cube championship. (Yes, really.)
Why have I not read that story yet. c.c
There was fanfic stuff in Quills and Sofas?? Well...shit. Which I guess doesn't really hurt your idea of someone on the staff having it out for fanfic. By far my favorite panel was also in the 21+ room, with Andrea Libman, Nicole Oliver, one of the directors who's name I didn't catch, a couple of horse famous people, and MA Larson playing Jackbox games.
Larson once again proved himself the King of Pandering (self-declared as well) by winning every game!