This Week Is The Worst · 7:20am Aug 2nd, 2019
Just when I think things could be looking up, another tragedy hits.
My half sister's son died today. He was fourteen.
God.
I've only met her a few times in my life and I've only met one of her kids but this shit hits differently when you're a mom. I found out when my dad was crying and my mom was hugging him in the kitchen, and Mom tells me that his grandson passed away. I've only ever seen my dad cry maybe six times in my life, and it just really shook me.
My poor half-sister. I can't stop thinking about her. I've lost a child myself and I don't ever want anybody to have to go through what I went through. And just knowing that this was someone In my family going through this was just the worst of the worst. And I just had all of these flashbacks from what happened to me and then when I was eating dinner I just started crying into my ribs.
She's never going to get to tell him she loves him again, or say all the things she wished she should have said. She's going to feel guilty and like she should have done something when it wasn't her fault. She's going to picture what his last moments were like and wonder if he was scared. She's going to live forever wondering what might have been. It's a horrible way to live. And it doesn't get easier. It's been three years for me and I still feel like it just happened sometimes. It destroys you. And you either find who you are in this new world you're living in, or you let it eat you alive.
No parent should outlive their child. It's not how it's supposed to work. Nobody should have to bury the baby they loved so deeply. My heart bleeds for her. Even though I don't know her very well, she is my Dad's daughter, and as a woman and a mother myself I just... I hurt for her on the deepest level. Just... There aren't words for the kind of pain you go through with that kind of thing. You're never the same after.
I get caught up in my own stuff with my family so much of the time, and sometimes it takes stuff like this to kind of get you out of your mirror, you know? I held onto my mom and told her how much I love her and I called my baby girl and told her I loved her because you never know when it's going to be the last time you're going to get to say it. And I just feel terrible. I knew something bad was going to happen today. I just had that gut feeling, and this sensation of something in the air. But I thought, in all my selfishness, that it was going to happen to me. But it didn't. And I mean, I know I have paranoid schizophrenia and that people think I always think the worst (which isn't entirely inaccurate.) but this was different.
I am so sorry for my half-sister and the rest of her children and grandchildren. I am so sorry to my Dad for all of his pain and loss. I am sorry for everyone whose life was touched by this fourteen year old boy that now has to go on without him. I am just so sorry for the state of everything right now, in my life and outside of it.
Life is short. Tell the ones you love that you love them while you still can. Make time for them. Leave a mark of kindness wherever you go, and be someone people want to remember for the right reasons.
I love all of you. Thanks for letting me share.
My condolences to what happened. All the best to you and to your family
5098059
Thank you very much. I appreciate it more than you can imagine.
I understand your deep pain. My sister lost her child do to a complication 3 months before she was due to have her. It was one of the darkest times in my life.
I know mere words alone will not change the pain you feel. I can only say these are the times to stay close to family that need you with them more then ever.
My condolences and best wishes.
5098063
I thank you very much for that. I intend to stay close to my family for a while in light of this. And I also want to thank you for all the pampered pics in your group. I was just looking at them to cheer me up a bit. They're always so sweet it's hard not to smile.
If you have any ones of Shining Armor (I’ve been looking for ones with him and his mom in particular since the story is about them) that are good, I could totally use them for a story I'm cooking up.
My condolences. Sadly, this is how fate can be, cruel.
5098079
Thank you.
Sometimes life just wants to flip you off, but when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up, right? I sure hope things will get better, and that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
5098064
If i find anything i wll send it your way
How horrible, I am so sorry to hear that.
My deepest condolences. I will be praying for your family.
That’s awful!
I’m so sorry!
I am so sorry to hear about this! I hope you'll find a way to work through it.
*hugs*
I am so so sorry my friend.
Oh geez. I'm so sorry that happened
Damn. Im sorry to hear that.
I’m sorry sorry
I pray for your dear sister...losing a cild is something no one should go through...no one
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