My Heart Is Just Breaking And I Need Help · 9:37am Jul 31st, 2019
Hey guys. I really need your help.
My heart is absolutely breaking. My beautiful baby girl's money woes are worsening by the day. Her husband lost one of his two jobs, and then got pulled over by the police today. The policeman said the car wasn't insured even though she paid the insurance three days ago, and took the car, and now she has to pay a $500.00 court fine. Her check is only $700.00 this pay period, and most of that is going to those court fees. She won't be able to afford her rent. She's gone to rent help organizations, and they can't help her anymore. She's tried taking out loans, and has destroyed her credit in the process. She has done everything she's supposed to do, and she's done her best, and it just isn't enough.
My heart is so broken for her. I've tried to do everything I can to help her, but it hasn't been anywhere near enough. She's called me and the most I can do is try and offer reassurance that it will be okay, but I want to do so much more and I can't. The worst feeling I have ever had and probably will ever feel is that inadequacy that comes with not being able to give her everything she deserves.
I'm looking for a job, and trying to save up enough money for a house out in Pensacola so that I'm closer to her, but my bank account is empty. I have nothing to give her, and I feel so terrible. I've had clinical depression for six years, and I have felt the worst feelings I could feel, but this is so much worse. I can't feel anything right now. This gigantic black hole of nothingness is taking over me. Because I have let down the one person who I've always tried to give everything of myself to to help her. And I just wonder if this nothingness is what we all feel in the end, when our time comes, if we're just sucked into this virtual abyss of nothingness. And I wish I could feel something other than this horrible numbness that's just slowly taking over because I live in a terrible house, and my baby is hurting so badly, and I can't afford to feel anything right now because I know if I do then that's it, that's the end of me. And the only thing I can hear now is that voice inside my head screaming, You're not doing enough! Do something! Do it now! But what can I do? I'm 2000 miles away, broke, and I feel so utterly useless that I just can't afford to feel. I have to shut off my own feelings for fear of drowning in that ocean and maybe never living to feel another thing again.
I feel like such a failure, and my heart is breaking for her and I can feel that part. I can physically feel it just slowly dropping off piece by piece, but I can't let the emotions behind it take me over because I will drown in them. And I don't know what to do. The most I have done is make this fundraiser to try and help her get some rent money together.
Fimfiction, I will do any commission you ask, I will do whatever it takes to help her. I don't know what else I can do except ask for your help. Everybody I know lives paycheck to paycheck, and my own parents struggle to pay their bills. I don't know who else to ask or who else to turn to. I don't care if I have to do free commissions for the rest of my life to try and make up for what I'm asking of you all, but I cannot feel like I am doing nothing to try and save my baby. I know so many of you are struggling too, be it financially or otherwise, and I do my best to try and respect that. To friends that have helped me in my journeys, I have given commission discounts or freebies as thanks. I try and be respectful of all of your struggles. And I have a hard time asking for help with things so much of the time because I'm too proud to ask. But now I need to ask. Because this isn't for me. This is for her.
The beautiful angel that came into my life and helped heal so many of my demons. The girl whose "I love yous" means more to me than any gift I have ever received. The daughter who I never carried inside of me but will carry in my heart for the rest of my life. Our lives are remembered by the gifts we give our children. If I do nothing else in this life, I want to give her the gift of a love so unconditional, so unending, and so deep that I want to someday make her a part of my family legally. I would do anything to give her the life she deserves, no matter what the cost to me. I will take extra jobs, give her the last of my money, or the shirt from my back. Anything I can do to ease any of her strife, I will do. I traveled almost 2,000 miles to be with her just for a few days, and I plan to travel 1500 permanently to be closer to her, because love knows no distance, and no legality for that matter. No matter what happens, I will never stop trying to help her and show her just how much she is loved. Right now, I am not in a position to help her financially, but I cannot let the life she has built for herself be destroyed.
Please, please, help me if you can. Or if you can't donate, share. She deserves a good life. She's such an amazing person, and I adore her so much. I would do anything for her, and I am begging you all to help me in whatever way you are able. Please. I cannot do this on my own. Please, Please help my baby.
Thank you.
Sometimes, life really screws you over, doesn't it?
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Pretty consistently at this point.
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But that's what I love about this community, helping each other without hesitation
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Yeah. I love that about our fandom. It's my favorite thing. We're so supportive of each other and It's so uplifting.
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Indeed.
I’ll see what I can do, but it really depends on when I’ll get the money.
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The fact that you cared enough to even read through that post is more than I deserve. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.
I gave a 20 hopp it helps.
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It did. So much. Because of people like you, I have faith in others. Everything helps. The fact that you donated means everything to me, and I thank you from the depths of my heart because you cared enough to help a stranger. If you ever need a commission, it’s on the house. Thank you so much.
Sadly, I'm broke, so I can't do much, but I can spread the word with a blog post, I have plenty of followers, hopefully they can help
I am broke as well but will be glad to spread the word.
Donated $30, I hope she's able to get through this.
I don't have the money to do jack, but I'll spread the word where I can.
i donated 50 cause i'm nice and left a 15% tip cause i'm trusting
I’m so sorry for her. I want to help, but I don’t think I have the money to donate. I just hope things get better for her as soon as possible.
What can I do, though?
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I woke up this morning and checked my phone, and cried. $200.00 has been donated already, and I am so utterly grateful to all of you. To those of you that sent your well wishes, your support means so much. To all of you that shared this campaign even though you couldn’t donate, you are incredible. And to those of you who did donate, I am weeping with joy. Rarity shouldn’t be the element of generosity. All of you should. I know words are supposed to be the medium of a writer, but there aren’t words for just how grateful I am to you all. You are the most incredible people, and I feel so blessed to be a part of a fandom that loves and cares about each other so deeply. I will never be able to thank you all enough for what you have done. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I love you guys.
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Share the link if you’re able. That’s all I could ask.
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That’s exactly what I did. God bless your girl.
5097208 Thank you for your kind words, I hope things will get better for you soon
I wish you and your daughter a turn of fortune and for things to be made aright. Sadly because of some issues that have recently come up with my family as a whole, access to finances is a bit restricted for me. I hope things turn out okay.
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Thank you guys so much for your kindness. It's been so overwhelming. You all have really restored my faith in people. Your kind words, your shares, your obvious care, it's so utterly important. Every single one of you is so important and so absolutely special. I hope you all know how wonderful you are and how grateful I am for every kind word, every share, and every donation. I will never be able to thank you all enough for what you have done here.
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We’re just happy that Raevyn and her family will be alright.
Right guys?
5097465 It's okay, just keep being yourself and do what you can
I wish I could help but I dont have the money to do so. I hope you get the help u need.
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Oh my gosh! You weren’t talking to me, but I will very much do that, I can tell this is very hard on you and your daughter. I can’t exactly help financially right now but I’ll do all I can to spread the word.
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Spread the word at least.
Whoever’s out there see this message, please spread the word out for this person’s family and loved ones. Please give them all of your support and donate or share in their time of need. Thank You.
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I can try
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it is the absolute least I can do. I will pray for you both.
You may want to setup a https://ko-fi.com account. Some people are apprehensive when it comes to GoFoundMe because they want your credit/debit card information - Ko-Fi allows you to pay with PayPal, for example.