Bad Book Review 16 (The Guardian, full review) · 2:45am Jul 31st, 2019
Before I get to the story, I first want to announce a decision. I am going to continue with the other two stories included in the book, but I'm going to take a break. Maybe October? Sooner, later. Not entirely sure. So for those who want to know, yes, you will be able to find out the rest without having to look for the book yourself.
Okay. So, let's get to it.
The full summary of the story is: there is a sudden increase in suicides, some of them being very violent and destructive, and all of them being people of the clergy. A police detective named Kirkland decides to investigate, and is assigned a partner named Cameron. It turns out the deaths are caused by a mysterious man in black, who it turns out is a former guardian angel by the name of Gabriel. Cameron is also a guardian angel, sent to stop the murders. He ends up falling in love with a human woman. Gabriel moves on to killing more people, claiming to be sick of their prayers. He targets the woman Cameron likes, then her son causes Gabriel to stop and revert back into the form of a small child he had once been, returning to heaven with his former friends who had been child soldiers for the church.
Let's start with something kind of pendantic
Gabriel is not a serial killer.
We'll use the definition from Wikipedia to explain:
A serial killer is typically a person who murders three or more people, usually in service of abnormal psychological gratification, with the murders taking place over more than a month and including a significant period of time between them.
So, break it down.
Does Gabriel murder three or more people? Well, we have to be a bit lenient on this, because here, because most of his victims are supposedly killing themselves. However, if we grant that leniency, then the answer is yes. Including the two that supposedly happened before the story in the form of Calvin and an unnamed neighbor, Gabriel is responsible for the death of... sixteen? Seventeen? I might be forgetting one or two. Still, it is well over the required number.
Is it for "abnormal psychological gratification?" Arguably, yes. A part of it was that he was lashing out, unleashing decades -- even centuries -- of pain over what had happened when he had been a human child. Another part was the idea that he was helping them. That he was answering their prayers by putting them out of their pain. So in that, we can say yes.
Is there a cooling off period? A significant period of time between the killings?
No.
We don't have an exact length of time, because we are not told on what day the events at the church in Chapter 2 happens. However, we are informed that the events in Chapter 3 is on a Sunday. Chapter 14 sets the prayer meeting happening on Sunday night. That means the entire thing takes place in over one week, but less than two, which means there is no real cool down period.
By that, Gabriel is not a serial killer. He is a mass murderer.
Speaking of Gabriel, I left a note in part twelve (which covered chapter 14) about the inconsistency of his power. And it is. Severely. The story establishes that he can appear in a place when he wants to, even if it's locked. We see him do it with Lupe. Yet, there are two occasions where he is stuck outside of a house, and has to break in. No explanation given as to why. Similar with his power of death. I don't say suicide since he made one die in an accident and two from what would look like natural causes, but the suicide aspect is the main focus. Gabriel makes a priest blow himself up, a nun set herself on fire, and a man commit suicide by cop. The first one is especially impressive. Then, we see him actually commit the event and... stabbing. We see him make two women stab themselves. Yes, three do, but one at least does so after failing to seduce a priest and have him have sex with her on top of the altar in church. His final success? He convinces ten people to shoot themselves, and we don't even get to see it.
I get part of why it was done, at least on the entering aspect. Because it's supposed to create drama. Because having Gabriel trying to break in instead of just appearing not only gives the character a chance to escape or prepare to defend themselves. It makes the reader watch and worry, wondering if the the character will be okay, or if they will be caught and end up as the next victim.
There are two problems with that. One is that we don't have a strong emotional investment in the characters. I didn't at least.
Take Danielle and Martha Lyons as an example. Or Lupe and Sal. In both cases, they are characters that we are introduced to, and spend one scene with before they are meet their fates. We get a to learn a little bit about them, but no time to form any sort of real emotional investment, and then they are killed off. This is especially frustrating with Danielle and Martha, because there is a set up of having some real tension between them. A moment to worry about what might happen if we spent more than two pages with them.
And speaking of pages, the second...
*Takes a breath*
When I wrote about the second chapter, I mentioned that all the events -- from the police arriving at the church to the helicopter crashing into the burning remains and causing a second explosion -- took place over six pages. In the comments, FanOfMostEverything asked if the writer was on crack. In answer, I'm going to say, no. However, Miss Price is an amateur writer, who self-published her story. One that did not have something that stories here require (and have been required on other sites of been on in the past). A minimum word count. Even here, with that being the case, we've seen situations where writers will have a story barely reach a thousand, and it will all be in chapters that are one or two hundred words each.
Most of the chapters in the story, are very much summarized, without a lot of added emotion or details. There might be a little here or there, but nothing that really helps build the story, the characters or our interest and emotional investment in them. It's the same problem some of the writers here have (one particular comes to mind, but no names). Technically, they gave the reader enough to understand what's happening, but there is so much more to add to it, that it ends up being short, and lacking any sort of emotional investment. It becomes more like describing the scenes from a movie.
But it's not a movie, it's a book. We aren't watching it. We're reading it. We have to be given time and details with places and characters, allowing us to imagine them, to develop an interest in them.
Otherwise...
I'm going to start wrapping this up, by making a small confession. I mentioned prior to doing the review that I had in fact read the book before.
I didn't remember it.
More specifically, I remembered two things about. I remembered Gabriel's flashback, although I forgot most of the context, and I remembered Gabriel being turned into a child spirit that returned to heaven, but that was it. Kirkland, Cameron, Christina and all the other characters? Didn't remember any of them. Didn't even remember the whole opening action sequence that was the second chapter.
Because there was no emotion. No real details. No investment.
It's seventeen chapters of a movie being described. One that should have been an R rated one, but went for PG-13 to get the maximum audience appeal.
I'll end it with that.
Until next story.
Ink Hoof.
I have had that happen to me before. I remember playing a game, and beating it... but fast forward to today, and I remember this... but I just can't for the life of me remember beating it. It was a mystery. I remembered aspects of the final boss, I remember a small chunk of it, but nothing concrete. Very weird.
Really liked your review. I don't consider myself the best writer, but when even someone like me can notice problems in a somewhat professional, priced piece of literature then it's got problems. Your review was fun! Thanks for giving me a ritual every night!
Yeah I know calling it literature is an insult to good writing, but that's what this is. It's a technicality!