Bit of a nervous wreck at the moment.

Hardly got any sleep, heart pounding like crazy, don't get me started on the side effects of that.

It's been a very tiring couple of weeks, job talks here, job talks there, no stop.

So yeah, Niko fic is experiencing huge delays as a result. Had a beer to try and calm down, did help slow down the heart, doesn't help the head.

It's just the constant contact, is all. I keep thinking I'm messing up, screwing up, making someone's day worse by interacting with them. I can't seem to do even the simplest of things. To make matters worse, I have to go practise driving again, which is another major stress source in and of itself. Got a job now, at least, that's something to look forward to. Hope I don't screw that up royally now. Haven't signed yet, and the whole 'do you want a car' question is enough to drive a wrench into my gears, but it's pretty much set.

Anyway, no progress as of yet. Birthday was kind of a mixed bag, too, but what else is new? I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. Is this what adulting is? I don't know what to do, or think.

How do you guys deal with this sort of difficulty? When you're ovely self-conscious to the point you get sick and tired just from writing up an e-mail message?

Song unrelated, I promise.

Cracker out.

Comments

[Artist]

This is what being an adult is like, good for me I should know

[ponygrad]

I don't know man. I usually just consider myself lucky I have what I do, and try to set small goals. But I'm always empathetic, because 3 bad things in your life is 1000x worse than 2 bad things.

[Wise Cracker]

5089800
Small goals, yeah. The toughest part is going to be sending the rejection mails. I had five or six people contact me in the span of three days, I still have talks to do now, after I've accepted the job already.

Maybe this is just what being introverted is like.

But small goals is a good one, has worked before. Getting started on the story's becoming the biggest hurdle right now... Niko really doesn't have a lot of fan material to go off of.

[Gyro Pony]

5089952
Your feelings and reactions to experiences are eerily familiar.

Yes, I'd say it is an introvert thing.
But there are other threads there too.

Lately I have been feeling dread and such from similar tasks. Self-doubt does bad things. Saying it zaps your confidence is too simplistic - you are unable to formulate good courses of action.

Congratulations on the job.
It's true what they say - being a wage earner is a great boost. You receive pay because you have earned it.

All the best mate.

[Wise Cracker]

5089995

Saying it zaps your confidence is too simplistic - you are unable to formulate good courses of action.

Yup. I'm usually good at planning out things, but when stress builds up or schedules go wonky, I cannot adapt. I'm a strategist, not a tactician.

Congratulations on the job.
It's true what they say - being a wage earner is a great boost. You receive pay because you have earned it.

All the best mate.

Thanks. It's a few months of training first (paid), and I've accepted the car, so... guess I'll be driving again soon

One can only hope. Maybe I should make a wishlist of things to buy as a motivation... still browsing for desktops atm.