• Member Since 28th Feb, 2018
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Sixes_And_Sevens


For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about!

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  • 10 weeks
    Supermassive 2023 Art Dump

    So! Back. Not dead. Big surprise. Life's been kinda hectic for awhile now for a variety of reasons I won't go too much into, but I've had a nice long break and am feeling ready to get back to a semi-regular writing schedule! However, I have still been doing art for the past,,, six months, has it really been that long? Jeez. So, here's a big ol' pile of stuff that I haven't shared here, by month.

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    5 comments · 55 views
  • 39 weeks
    Hues of June Week 3


    Hues of June 18a - Flesh!Big Macintosh
    (Spoilered for body horror)
    Nothing like a hard day’s work to get up an appetite.
    tbh, this might be one of the best things I’ve ever drawn in terms of anatomy and shading.

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    0 comments · 126 views
  • 40 weeks
    Hues of June Week 2

    You know what time it is!


    Hues of June 11a - Eye!Sunset

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    0 comments · 100 views
  • 41 weeks
    Hues of June Week 1

    That's right, it's time for another art month, this time featuring a bit of character art for the Sunset Archives!


    Hues of June 1a: Vast!Washouts

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    1 comments · 109 views
  • 50 weeks
    Art Dump April 2023

    Hey all,
    Apologies for the lack of updates these past few months. This semester has been kicking my butt and my final essays have been draining me of the will to write anything else. I'm really hoping to get back into The Sunset Archives in May -- I know what I'm doing with the story, I just haven't been able to muster the will to get it down on paper.

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    0 comments · 117 views
Jul
16th
2019

What Might Have Been: An Update Substitute · 12:38am Jul 16th, 2019

Hey, y'all. I felt a little bad about not being able to update this week, so instead I'm putting up the scrapped original version of 'Unexpected Adventures'. I think it was an interesting concept, but ultimately I couldn't reach a satisfying conclusion. So without further ado, let me usher you into a parallel universe, one where I buckled down and worked a little harder on my original story idea. Welcome to 'Cats and Dogs'.

 “‘This console was not meant to be studied and pored over, but intuited,’ you said,” Sunset grumbled “‘Trixie knows these things,’ you said.”

Trixie huffed indignantly. “Well? Trixie made the TARDIS fly, did she not?”

“Well, yes,” Sunset acknowledged. “There is that. There is also, unfortunately, the fact that you were trying to get us across town, and you sent us to another planet.”

Trixie had no response to this. She merely glared at the wall of the cell they now shared. The inhabitants of the planet had not, thankfully, been as warlike or carnivorous as they had first seemed. Unfortunately, they had also confiscated the TARDIS. Sunset and Trixie had, furthermore, been thrust at spearpoint into this claustrophobic chamber, and thus the two considered that they were overall still in the red. “What do you suppose they want with us?” Trixie asked.

“Who knows? Harvest our organs? Sacrifice us to their gods? Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll only want to study us.” Sunset said, glaring at the door distrustfully.

“Well, why stay to find out?” Trixie asked, rising to her hooves. “Let us effect our escape.”

“Our escape,” Sunset said flatly. “Trixie, we’re under lock and key. There are guards outside, and I really don’t like the idea of facing off against those teeth. And, of course, they’ve taken our ride.”

“Piffle,” Trixie sniffed. “Trixie should have known you would be focused on the trifles.”

“The trifles,” Sunset echoed flatly. “Of course. The fact that we don’t know where the TARDIS is won’t get in our way at all.”

“It will not.”

Sunset scowled. “Alright then, O Great and Powerful one. Explain your plan to me.”

“Simplicity itself,” Trixie said, drawing herself up. “We will blow up that wall.” She gestured to the locked door. “This should incapacitate any guards in the immediate vicinity. Then— and this is the important part, so listen closely— then, we run away and hide in the cave systems.”

Sunset digested this. “Okay,” she said slowly. “I’m not saying that’s a bad plan, but I’d like to address a couple of problems with that, if I may.”

“Problems?” Trixie asked, stepping back in shock. “Trixie can see no problems with her plan whatsoever!”

“Problem one,” Sunset said lifting a hoof. “We don’t know where these corridors will lead. We might run into a death trap, or the royal chambers, or we might run into one of those big wolf guys, but maybe one that isn’t so dead.”

Trixie pursed her lips. “We don’t have to run far,” she said.

“Problem two,” Sunset continued, but stopped suddenly. “Huh. Right. I don’t have fingers anymore.” She set her hoof back down. “Anyway, problem two is, we don’t know how many guards there are outside the door, or how many might be waiting in the wings.”

Trixie shrugged slightly. “They’ll be incapacitated by the explosion, nonetheless.”

“Which brings us to the third problem. We don’t have any way to make the door explode.”

Trixie gave Sunset a long, level look. “Sunny. Trixie is a stage magician.” 

With a flourish, she removed her hat and held it out for inspection. There were several shockingly large fireworks in it. Sunset’s jaw dropped. “What.”

“Trixie has a motto. Would you like to hear it? It is ‘never leave home without at least enough firepower to frighten off an Ursa Major’. Trust Trixie, she has learned from experience, especially since taking up residence near the Everfree.”

“Trixie. Trixie, my dear, sweet, good friend. Please tell those are just flashbangs.”

“Of course not. How do you expect Trixie to take down a door with flashbangs?”

“Trixie, that’s enough firepower to, to, to…”

“To frighten off an Ursa Major, Trixie believes she said.”

“That’s enough to blow up Twilight’s foyer with enough left over to take out the master bedroom!”

Trixie looked at the draconequus as though she were speaking to a small child. “Trixie did say ‘at least.’”

“Okay, now we have problem four, bringing down the clopping ceiling on our heads!” Sunset shouted.

“Language,” Trixie admonished mildly.

“Language isn’t the issue! The issue is that you are carrying a bomb in your hat!”

“Trixie is not going to bring down the roof,” the magician scoffed. “Trixie forgotten more about pyrotechnics than you could
ever hope to know.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

There was a faint clanking noise at the door. Sunset whirled around as the heavy metal portal swung outwards. Tall. Muscular. Angular. Vicious. All of these words aptly described the guard standing in the doorway. Most of them also applied to the spear he held in his paw. He opened his mouth. “Come with me,” he rumbled in a surprisingly pleasant baritone. “The mayor would like to see you.”

Sunset glanced at Trixie, worried. The showmare, however, seemed perfectly poised. Her hat looked as though it had never left her head. She trotted forward with grace and purpose, and only when she was out the door did she spare a glance back at Sunset. “Well? Let us not keep the local authority figure waiting.”

Sunset exhaled through her nose, long and low, but grudgingly, she trotted after the blue unicorn and the predatorily feline guard.

***

The corridors of the labyrinth were surprisingly well-kempt. It was far from the marble walls and plush carpeting of Canterlot, but neither was it a dank, musty system of caves. They were also quite impressively long and winding. Side hallways branched off like roots, twisting away and splitting into infinitely many paths. The trio had been walking for fifteen minutes when Trixie broke the silence that hung over the them.

“So, nameless guard,” Trixie began.

“My name is Felix,” the warrior said flatly.

“Whatever. Why have we been arrested? Where are you taking us? And perhaps most importantly, when will we be having lunch?”

“You haven’t been arrested.”

“We were shoved into a jail cell at spearpoint,” Sunset said. “That seems pretty much like being arrested to me.”

“Believe it or not, we were attempting to rescue you,” Felix said. “You were wandering the caverns without weaponry or armor. Be thankful that you were found by us rather than…” He trailed off, gazing into space.

“Rather than?” Trixie prompted.

“To answer your second question, I’m taking you to see the mayor. He wants to speak with you. Third question, you can have lunch after the interview.”

The blue unicorn frowned. “...that’s it? The Great and Powerful Trixie and her glamorous assistant can have lunch after the interview?”

“Er, yes,” the guard said.

Sunset sighed and closed her eyes tight. Maybe if I ignore her enough she’ll just disappear. Or shut up. Either is acceptable.

But Trixie did neither of these things. “Look, we’re your prisoners. You have to make a few thinly veiled threats,” she argued. “This is simply the done thing! Trixie refuses to—”

Sunset shoved the blue unicorn, glaring. “Don’t be rude,” she admonished.

“It’s only professional!”

Felix coughed. “You can have lunch after your interview… if you survive?”

Trixie considered it. “Good effort,” she said. “Though, your delivery could use work.”

Sunset’s hoof connected firmly with the back of the magician’s head. “Trixie. No more talkie, m’kay?”

The pout on the powder-blue face was almost enough to make Sunset feel bad. Almost. The flame-maned draconequus turned back to the guard. “Lead on,” she said firmly.

“Yes, ma’am,” Felix said, a modicum of respect creeping into his voice. “Not much farther now.”

The halls began to grow more neatly cared for, now. The floor grew tiled, followed by the walls. Patterns formed, simple at first, then more complex, until finally culminating in full-blown mosaics.The branching corridors began to grow larger, straighter, more well-lit. Sunset could now see large, terraced houses down each ‘street’, of an opulence comparable to the center of Canterlot. These, however, were of a vastly different style. Columns sprung from the ground like trees, and curving balconies wound around the architecture. The windows were nearly as thin as arrow slits. Sunset leaned over to Trixie. “It looks like late Ancient Camellian, don’t you think?” she murmured.

Trixie looked at Sunset, confused. “What looks like what now?”

“The architecture. It closely resembles the architecture of Camellia in the Third Dynasty,” Sunset replied, waving a hoof. “A bit Minoan, much more so than the work of the Second Dynasty.”

Trixie stretched her mouth wide in a mock yawn. “Trixie will give you this, Sunny. You’re a sure cure for insomnia.”

“And how many stallions have you kept up at night?” Sunset sneered.

Trixie thought about this. “...Well, only mares, technically, but at last count, Trixie wants to say—”

“Trixie. Rhetorical question. Don’t wanna know.”

Felix sighed and rolled his slit-pupiled eyes. “Look, ladies, you think you two can stop arguing like an old married couple for maybe ten minutes? I promise, we’re nearly there. Just try to keep it together during the interview? The mayor can be a little… eh.”

“Eh?” Sunset repeated.

“Touchy? Which reminds me. Whatever you do, don’t mention it. Don’t mention anything about it. Just… don’t.”

“Trixie would like to know what ‘it’ is?”

Felix winced. “...You’ll find out soon enough.”

Trixie grinned much more broadly. “There! Now that is a proper threat. Vague, yet menacing. You only need to deliver it in a better context…”

“Oh, look, we’re here,” Felix said loudly, gesturing to an ornately carved doorway in the wall. “The mayor’s offices. This is where I leave you two. Hopefully for good.”

“Ah! Well done, very well done,” Trixie said approvingly. “Just the right mix of subtle doom and hatred.”

“Not a threat, ma’am. Just a vague hope,” Felix replied drily, opening the doors. “Seriously though, do not mention it. And for the love of Ba’ast, don’t laugh!”

Sunset frowned slightly as they walked into the cavernous entrance hall. “Ba’ast?” she muttered. “That name seems… kinda familiar, actually.”

“Yawn, snore,” Trixie interrupted. “Let us go and see this chief officiary so that we may consume our midday meal.”

“Your disregard for scholastic pursuits is matched only by your undeserved pomposity,” Sunset said.

“Oh, yeah? Well… uh…” Trixie stuttered to a halt, scowling. “Fine. Trixie concedes this round to you and your beautiful mane.”

Sunset blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Your mane,” Trixie said slowly, “is very pretty like a bonfire. Now, come along so that we may have lunch already.”

At this point thoroughly confused, Sunset trailed after the blue unicorn. Had the lengthy series of insults they had earlier exchanged been some sort of cover? Was the compliment some kind of trick? She eyed the magician more closely. Trixie was an odd one, alright. She would need watching.

A lean tabby molly eyed the duo carefully as they approached her desk. “Good afternoon!” Trixie hailed heartily. “I trust that we are in good time for our appointment?”

The tabby’s yellow eyes didn’t so much as flicker. “Name,” she said flatly.

“I,” said the blue mare grandly, “am the Great and Powerful Trixie, Foremost Assistant to the Princess of Friendship, Traveller and Explorer, and Incomparable Illusionist. And this is Sunset Shimmer, Goddess of Chaos and—”

Sunset flicked a wing, and suddenly Trixie found that her mouth had been corked like a bottle. “That’s Trixie, I’m Sunset.”

The cat blinked slowly with the utter sense of disinterest only attained by felines. She idly perused a piece of paper. “No Trixie or Sunset here,” she said blandly. “All I’ve got for now is ‘interlopers.’”

“That’s probably us,” Sunset said with a nod. Trixie merely glowered at both of them.

The tabby waved a paw over to the left. “He’ll be waiting in his office. End of the hallway.” And she turned back to her papers. The duo had obviously been dismissed; Sunset trotted away quickly, while Trixie lollygagged for a few moments to glare at the catty receptionist.

The hall was honestly rather opulent. The walls were etched with strange markings like letters, though Sunset was unsure of their origin. At regular intervals, gold ingots were hammered into the floor. Above, lamps in the shape of stylized suns shone down warm yellow light. “Wow…” Sunset murmured. “This is beautiful.”

“Mm,” Trixie agreed. “Mm-mmm-mm, mmmm.”

“Oops,” Sunset chuckled. “Sorry.” She uncorked the unicorn’s mouth.

“Bleah,” Trixie muttered. “That was disgusting. Why would you do such a thing to Trixie? Are we not friends?”

Sunset frowned. “Are we?”

The unicorn flinched slightly, something in her eyes flickering. “Well. When you say that, Trixie supposes not.”

Sunset glanced down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“There aren’t many alternatives,” Trixie snipped.

“I’m—” Sunset broke of, unsure of what exactly she was going to say next.

Trixie took a long breath in, then let it out slowly. A smile slipped across her face. “A slip of the tongue, then. Trixie is certain. Now, here’s the door. Let’s see this mysterious mayor already.” She yanked open the door with perhaps a little more force than necessary and trotted in. Then, she froze. Sunset gaped. Well. It was obvious after all, wasn’t it?

Cats and Dogs

Sunset and Trixie stared. The mayor glared back. This effect was only slightly dampened by the fact that he was a little ball of adorable white fuzz. “Well?” he demanded, his voice a mewl. “Are you coming in or not? I’m a busy cat!”

Trixie giggled. “You’re a kitty!” she gasped, delighted.

The little white cat looked grumpy. “Yes, I am, as you put it, a ‘kitty,” he said flatly. “Do you intend to inform every inhabitant of this city of their species, or merely the ones you wish to annoy?” His sardonic words were heavily at odds with his high-pitched mewling voice and his big, blue eyes, which were narrowed in irritation.

Sunset cleared her throat, struggling not to break into giggles herself. “Please, excuse my companion,” she said after regaining her composure. “We are strangers in these lands, and felines with the ability to speak is a new phenomenon for us, as the sight of talking equines likely is for you.”

The mayor’s eyes flickered over Sunset with apparent disinterest. However, she saw that his gaze lingered for a few moments longer on her flaming mane and wings than it did anywhere else. “Understandable,” he conceded at length. “As you say, you are a novelty to us. Therefore, you can understand that we have more than a few questions for you.”

Trixie giggled. “Like what? ‘I can haz hayburger?’”

Sunset barely stifled the laugh in time. Trixie may have been annoying, and perhaps not slightly immature, but she certainly was entertaining. Unfortunately, or perhaps luckily, the Mayor didn’t seem to get the joke. Therefore, he merely raised a smoothly slicked eyebrow. “Ahaha,” he said. “No, more along the lines of how you arrived here, what your intentions here are exactly, and why exactly you arrived just after the repulsion of the Jakkite forces.”

“Okay, uh, right. We can probably answer… at least two of those,” Sunset said. “Uh, how about we start with introductions? My name is Sunset Shimmer, this is my companion, Trixie.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie,” the unicorn corrected.

“Hmp. I,” said the mayor, looking distinctly underwhelmed, “am Lord Mayor Lionel Hobbes *koff*fluffy*koff* Angora.”

“What was that?” Sunset asked sharply.

“Angora,” the Mayor repeated quickly. “Now, if we—”

“Fluffy-Angora!” Trixie exclaimed, grinning. “Your name is Mayor Fluffy-Angora?”

Mayor Fluffy scowled. “Do you find my name… amusing?

“Of course not, your honor,” Sunset said hastily. “Fluffy-Angora is doubtless a name of excellent breeding.”

The mayor didn’t stop scowling, but the little vein on his forehead stopped throbbing. “Yes,” he said. “It certainly is.”

“It is eminently obvious from your manner and attitude,” Trixie said with a nod. “Indeed, when Trixie first saw you, it was like looking into a mirror.”

“Indeed? You are of noble stock yourself, then?” the Mayor asked, his facade of disinterest fading ever so slightly.

Sunset looked at Trixie in shock and mild horror. Was the unicorn actually trying to bluff her way out of this? “Oh, yes,” said the illusionist nonchalantly. “Of House Lulamoon, one of the grandest and most influential in Neigh Orleans.”

“Interesting. And your compatriot?”

“Not of noble blood herself, but favored of the crown,” Trixie replied.

“And of which crown would that be?” the Mayor demanded, suddenly alight with rage. “The crown of that villain, Anubis, self-proclaimed emperor? Wanna-be conqueror and would-be oppressor?”

There was a long silence. “...No?” Trixie guessed. “The… Sunset, is ‘quadarchy’ a word?”

“I think you mean ‘tetrarchy.’ The tetrarchy of Equestria.”

“That’s the one,” Trixie agreed. “We’ve never even heard of this… New Bus? Kind of a weird name, if you ask Trixie. Oh! Is that why he wants to conquer you? So you’ll give him a better name?”

Mayor Fluffy looked bewildered. “No. He wishes to conquer our city so that he may reign supreme over all of Re-Atun.”

“Is that the name of the city?” Sunset asked. “Country? Uh, civilization?”

“Re-Atun is the earth we walk upon and beneath,” Fluffy replied, staring. “Where have you been that you do not know this?”

“Um… another planet.” Sunset said. “Like… another world. The box we came in is a… a teleporter. We were trying to follow a signal, but somepony decided she knew how to fly.”

“Oh, screw you, Shimmer,” Trixie said, smirking. “Trixie didn’t exactly see you at the helm.”

“Because we could have walked! It was literally across town!”

“Oh, certainly, because walking in off the street has the same effect as materializing out of thin air!”

“At least we would have actually arrived where we were trying to go!”

The vein on the Mayor’s forehead was starting to throb once more, and the pair of ponies quickly buttoned up. The fluffy kitty ground his teeth, his face pinking with fury. With a long, low sigh, he released the tension in his shoulders, letting his eyes slip closed. He reached out a paw and tapped a button on his desk. From outside the door, there was a soft jingling, followed by a sudden thump. “Ow.”

“Arthur? Come in, please.”

There was a brief silence, and the door swung open. A large, tubby orange cat slunk in. “You rang, Mr. Mayor?” he asked, his voice soft and deep.

The kitty at the desk put a paw to his head and waved at the mares. “Take these two to have lunch somewhere. I’ll finish the interview later.”

“Right, sir.” The guard saluted.

“And Arthur?”

“Sir?”

Mayor Fluffy rubbed his throbbing forehead vein. “Have Janice send in some aspirin. I get the feeling I’m going to need it to
finish off this interview.”

“Yessir.” The guard saluted once more before leading the two mares from the room and back down the opulent golden hall.

Trixie practically pronked along. “So! Lunch. Where and what is it to be?”

The guard Arthur shrugged his meaty shoulders. “I know a good restaurant around here,” he murmured. “Eat there all the time. Mama Mittens’”

“Sounds good to Trixie.”

As Arthur slumped into the lobby, he waved at the austere tabby. “His honor wants some, uh, pain relief,” he said by way of greeting.

The efficient Janice nodded once, not even looking up from her paperwork. She merely held out a stack of parchments. “These need shredding.”

“Right.” The rotund guard took the papers from her paws and flipped through them. “I’ll take care of it over lunch.”

“Thanks, you’re a doll,” the secretary droned, returning her attention to her paperwork. Arthur blushed, and turned, giggling, back to the mares.

“Come on. We’d better hurry if we want to beat the lunch crowd,” the guard said, slightly more cheerfully.

Trixie and Sunset regarded one another for a long moment before trotting after him.

***

Mama Mittens was a fairly popular restaurant, it was revealed. Though by no means packed to capacity, Sunset estimated that it was around two-thirds of the way there. Arthur, it seemed, was a popular customer. The leonine figure behind the counter lit up when he clapped eyes on the weighty guard. “Ah, our best customer returns,” he boomed, spreading his paws wide as a broad grin crossed his face. “With guests, no less,” he added, glancing at the two mares.

Sunset shifted slightly. “Uh, hi. You’re Mama, I take it?”

The lion’s grin shifted into a smirk. “Me? Nah. Hey, Mama! Come on out, we got newbies!”

There was a shuffling, clattering noise from the kitchen. “Oh?” a husky female voice said. “Well, well, what have we got here?”

A large figure appeared in the doorway, blocking out all light from behind. Sunset took a nervous step back. Trixie stood, jaw slightly agape as she was suddenly overwhelmingly reminded that she was very very very gay.

Mama Mittens was roughly six-foot-five-inches of down-home comfort. Clad in a weathered blue apron, the lioness peered down at the little ponies through tortoiseshell glasses. She even had a spatula and a ladle tucked into her pockets. “Oh, my,” she gasped. “Aren’t you just the most precious little things?”

“Grblxx,” Trixie observed.

“Uh, hi!” Sunset said, smiling weakly. “So, um, you’re Mama, then?”

“I am,” said the feline, smiling back in a way which should not have been nearly as comforting as it was, given all the fangs in there.  “What’s your name, honey?”

“Trixie,” the mare replied, grinning goofily. “But please, keep calling Trixie honey…”

“...Hi. I’m Sunset.”

Mama clasped her paws together. “Ooh, I could just eat you both right up,” she said, delighted. 

Sunset started thinking about teleport matrices and banishing spells, just in case. Trixie, by contrast, seemed to have no sense of self-preservation. “Maybe you should,” she murmured, eyes lidded.

Sunset cleared her throat and Trixie jumped slightly, alert once more. “Have you got anything vegetarian?” Trixie asked, looking up at the mare. “Trixie and her companion are not entirely built for consuming meat.”

Mama took a moment to consider this. “Well, I think I can bring you out some bread. Maybe a cheese plate…”

“I don’t actually mind meat,” Sunset volunteered. “I’ll take whatever the soup of the day is.”

“And, uh, my usual,” Arthur put in.

Mama nodded. “Any drinks with that?” There was a murmur to the effects that water would be fine for the ponies, while Arthur requested cream. “All right, babies, I’ll be right out with your orders. Sit tight!”

The two mares and their fat cat minder made their way over to a table by the window. Sunset immediately turned to Trixie. “What the hell was that?”

Trixie looked back blankly. “What was what?”

“You asked her to eat you?”

“Sunny, let Trixie explain to you the concept of ‘innuendo,’ very useful in flirting…”

“I know what innuendo is, I’ve been in high school for the last two decades,” Sunset snapped. “But you can’t do that to
somepony— somekitty you’ve just met! Especially not in public!”

“Piffle,” Trixie sniffed. “She seemed to have no objections to Trixie’s come-ons.”

“Was that what that was?”Arthur asked, cocking his head. “I thought you’d offered yourself up as her lunch.”

Trixie went rather pale at that. “Would— would that be a common interpretation?”

“Trixie, they’re carnivores. We are herbivores. That usually has one outcome, and it’s not a hot date.”

She went from pale to purple in a second. “Oh, what do you know about the heart, anyway?” Trixie snapped.

“I manipulated the heart of one of the most popular boys in school so I could take over and rule with an iron fist. And I don’t even like boys. Or girls.” Sunset levitated a roll out of the breadbasket provided. “So, y’know. If I can do it without even caring about sex or romance, back when I didn’t even care about friendship, you can probably afford to step up your game just a little bit.”

Trixie flushed and blustered, but couldn’t come up with a comeback. Instead, she turned on Arthur. “Look, would you explain to Trixie what is even going on here? Who is this New Bus? What does he want? What does the Mayor want? And does this cafe have free refills?”

Arthur tapped his claws together. “Um, to answer the most important question first; yes, you get free refills, though since this is an official business lunch, you won’t need to worry about that anyway.”

“And for Trixie’s other questions?”

“Oh, look, here’s the food,” Arthur replied quickly. “Dig in!”

The soup was good and full of flavors, with cheese and vegetables and meat that tasted a lot like ham, but sweeter. It struck Sunset that she was on an alien world, eating alien food. She felt the same little thrill she’d once had during her first days at Canterlot High; the first time she’d eaten a hamburger, for instance, had been an experience of almost transcendental proportions. She grinned at nothing and everything, thrilled at just the experience of being here and now, perhaps millions light years away from her home planet.

Trixie, meanwhile, was munching her way through a plate of breadsticks. “This is really good,” she said through chomps. “Sunset, can Trixie dip some bread in your soup?”

“As long as I can try some of it, too,” Sunset agreed, pushing her bowl over invitingly. 

“Now,” Trixie said. “Trixie hopes you don’t think that this will simply make her forget to ask what all this is about.”

Arthur winced and looked down at his own meal. Trixie shook her soupy breadstick at him. “Now, now, don’t be bashful,” she coaxed. “Tell the Great and Powerful Trixie what ails this town.

Arthur gestured to his full mouth and shook his head.

“Mannerly. Trixie likes that. She is willing to wait.”

She locked eyes with the tubby cat. He chewed and kept on chewing, mulling over the same bite. Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he swallowed. “Okay, fine. I’ll tell you.”

He glanced over one shoulder, then the other. Then, he leaned over the table. Trixie and Sunset mirrored him. “It’s the dogs,” he hissed.

Both mares regarded him flatly. “I feel like that should’ve been more obvious,” Sunset said.

“Yeah,” Trixie agreed. “Does this have anything to do with that New Bus guy?”

Arthur’s eyes bulged. “I-- no, I-- look, first of all, he’s called Anubis.” He hastily made a three-clawed gesture over his chest. “Second of all, don’t say his name!”

Sunset frowned. “Technically, she didn’t.”

“Around here, we just call him ‘You Know, the Leader of the Invading Army that has Threatened to Burn Our Civilization, Destroy Our Crops, and Plant Trees so He May Chase Us Up Them’.”

“Trixie is not referring to anypon-- anydog like that.”

“Informally, ‘the Bad Dog’ is also acceptable,” Arthur conceded.

Sunset stifled a snigger. “Seriously? Have you tried hitting his nose with a rolled-up newspaper?”

“He and his band of jackals have been occupying the outskirts of our empire for three years, and getting closer by the month,” Arthur continued. “Several of our smaller satellites have already been overrun, and well… let’s say he made good on all his promises.”

Sunset stopped sniggering. “I see.”

“Their weapons are superior to ours,” Arthur said. “Longer ranges and such, and then there’s the digging.”

“The digging?” Trixie echoed.

“They can dig tunnels anywhere, ridiculously fast, so they might pop up anywhere.”

“Alright,” Sunset said slowly. “I can accept all that. But what are we supposed to do about it?”

“Dunno,” Arthur said, shrugging. “The mayor would have to tell you that himself. All I know is, he kept muttering about showing those dogs off once and for all.”

“Hm,” Sunset said, taking a bit of bread off Trixie’s plate. “I guess we might be able to do something about that. It’ll just take a little consideration…”

There was perhaps five seconds of silence. “Trixie has a plan!”

Sunset almost fell off her seat as Trixie jumped onto the table. “Fear not, quaint citizenry! The Grrrreat and Powerful Trixie is here to save you all from your encroaching doom! With help from her lovely assistant, Sunset--”

“I don’t know you, I don’t know you, I don’t know you,” Sunset chanted.

“We shall rid this land of the vile Bad Dog! We shall bring peace and prosperity back to your empire!”

“We’re actually still pretty well off--” a rather skinny cheetah began.

“We will make it more peaceful and prosperous!”

“Oh. That’s alright then.”

“Come, companions! We must make haste! To the mayor’s office!”

“Wait! Trixie, what are you doing?”

“No, not yet! The mayor won’t have gotten rid of his headache yet! He’s a very grumpy cat when he has a headache!”

First Trixie, then Sunset, then Arthur (who was surprisingly agile) crashed out through the restaurant doors, back toward Mayor Fluffy’s office. The mayor himself felt a sudden twinge of cosmic angst, as though some unknown force was walking over his grave.

Cateract

Trixie raced down the hallway. She could hear the shouts of Sunset and Arthur ringing in her ears, but she didn’t care. She was giddy, euphoric with the thrill of saving the day. Or, at least, coming up with a plan to save the day. Either way, she had a plan, and she was about to be the center of attention. This was the best of all possible emotions, as far as Trixie was concerned.

She kicked the door down to the mayor’s office. “Rejoice!” she shouted. “The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie has returned with a solution to your woe!”

“An aspirin, perchance?” Mayor Fluffy growled.

“Even better!” Trixie crowed.

“Ah, a muzzle. Of course.”

Trixie scowled. “Well, if you don’t want to know Trixie’s foolproof plan for getting rid of your invaders, then she’ll just leave.”

Fluffy’s scowl grew. “Arthur!” he snapped. “It would be wiser to let Ba’ast keep your tongue than to wave it all over the place.”

The heavyset cat leaned against the doorframe and nodded, too out of puff to do anything more. Sunset pushed her way past him and glared at Trixie. “Well?” she demanded. “Were you planning on sharing this genius plan anytime in the next week?”

Trixie sniffed. “Genius always goes unappreciated,” she said, shaking her head.

“If you don’t explain yourself right now, I’ll have you thrown back in the cells until you rot,” Fluffy growled. Arthur gripped is
spear and did his best to appear menacing. He failed.

“It’s elementary, really,” Trixie said conversationally. “They’re dogs. Large, bipedal dogs with particular skill for digging. Does this remind anypony of anything in particular?”

Sunset frowned. “...The Diamond Dogs?” she guessed.

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner!” Trixie crowed.

“Trixie, what does that have to do with--”

“A long time ago,” Trixie began, “back when she was the greatest and most famous traveling stage magician on the continent, before she became the personal assistant and confidant of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Trixie encountered a roving pack of Diamond Dogs. They sought to kidnap ponies and force them to work in their tunnels, mining precious gems. But was the Great and Powerful Trixie afraid?”

“Probably,” Sunset deadpanned.

Trixie fixed her with a look. “No she was not! For Trixie had just last month shared a very nice overpass with a pair of Diamond Dogs named Sadie and Roxy, and she learned what Diamond Dogs fear more than anything in  the world!”

Despite himself, Mayor Fluffy looked intrigued. “Keep going…”

“Well, at about midnight, there was a storm in full swing, and Trixie was awoken. Not by the sound of thunder, no-- by the two very entrancing Diamond Dog ladies. They were afraid, and wished to share Trixie’s bed. She allowed them in, but that is a story for another day.”

Sunset groaned and put her face in her hooves. “Storms are the worst fear of the Diamond Dogs,” Trixie continued. “The loud noise of the thunder hurts their ears and makes them think of mine cave-ins, and the bright light hurts their eyes, which are better suited for darkness. Enough light and sound can cause them to run and flee, or even collapse from terror and sensory overload.”

“I see,” said the mayor. “If I may, I see one small flaw in all this.”

Trixie huffed and rolled her eyes. “What is it with everyone questioning Trixie’s genius plans?”

“Your last ‘genius plan’ is what landed us on this planet in the first place.”

Trixie sniffed. “Trixie chooses to believe that this is the universe’s way of asking her to interfere and aid this city of cats in its plight.”

“Sure. Very holistic,” Sunset said, rolling her eyes.

The mayor’s forehead vein began to throb. “The flaw?” he growled.

Trixie waved a hoof permissively. “Voice your objections,” she said, rather bored.

Fluffy thumped the desk. “WE’RE THREE KILOMETERS UNDERGROUND! Maybe on your planet, storms are easy to come by--”

“Arranged by the weather patrol,” Trixie said.

“Available by request,” Sunset added.

Fluffy turned purple. “HOW PURRFECTLY BATHING LOVELY FOR YOU!” Arthur blanched at the ferocity of the swear. “But around here, we don’t have thunderstorms because, and I don’t know if you’ve realized this, WE DON’T HAVE WEATHER!”

Trixie scoffed. “A minor inconvenience. Trixie wasn’t planning on using a storm anyway. It lacks panache.”

Sunset began to feel her stomach flip-flopping. “Trixie, please tell me you aren’t about to say what I think you’re about to say.”

Trixie removed her hat and revealed, as she had done in the cell, a frankly ludicrous amount of fireworks. “Behold!”

Sunset calmly pulled a chair over to the mayor's desk, climbed onto it, and slammed her face down on the surface.

“What is the meaning of this?” Fluffy shouted. “What are those candy-striped things?”

“These,” Trixie explained, “are known as fireworks. They are little devices that really give you all the bang for your bit that you need. They are exactly what we need to deal with this pack of interlopers! Of course, Trixie may need a few more materials…”

“Of course you will,” the mayor grumbled. 

“All it will take is a long enough wand, help from a lovely assistant, and the magic word…”

“Hey presto?” Sunset guessed flatly.

Trixie’s smile was slightly more unnerving than Mayor Fluffy’s scowl. “Detonation.”

***

Fluffy had thrown them out of his office after granting his exceedingly grudging permission to let them go through with Trixie’s plan. However, he had also informed them in no uncertain tones that they would have to confer with the city’s other great political power. “Ba’ast,” he had explained, making a face like he had just bitten into a grapefruit that was also on fire. “Our… great and wise spiritual leader. You’ll find her in the…” and here, he started to look like he had just gotten used to the grapefruit when it was switched out for a lemon. “You’ll find her in the center of the empire.”

Arthur had been kicked out as well, and he looked slightly lost. “Er,” he said. “I guess I’m taking you to the Omphalos, then.”

“Um-fellas?” Trixie tried.

“Omphalos,” Sunset corrected. “The ancient Bovine word for belly button.”

Trixie snickered. “You’re taking us to your belly button?”

“The Omphalos is the belly button of the city,” Arthur explained. “The cultural and spiritual hub, run by the Lady Ba’ast.”

Sunset frowned. “Ba’ast. Why is that name familiar?”

Trixie just kept laughing. “The belly button of the city!” she wheezed. “Come on, Sunnybuns, that’s hilarious!”

Sunset cast a glance at Arthur, whose expression had become rather more taut. “Hey, Trixie? Let’s maybe not make fun of the city’s sacred center, okay?”

Trixie rolled her eyes a little, but stopped talking. They all walked in silence for about fifteen minutes until they rounded a corner and arrived. Sunset’s jaw dropped. “Whoa…”

Trixie opened her mouth, then closed it. Sunset didn’t even have to brush her side to guess that the magician was struggling not to make a belly button joke. Sunset couldn’t entirely blame her. The entire Omphalos was a vast pit.

Well, ‘pit’ was unkind. It was gorgeous, all paw-carved arches and spiraling staircases, filled with colorful glyphs and etchings. Below, she could see the forms of cats moving sedately from gallery to gallery. “Wow. How deep does this go?”

Arthur puffed up proudly. “We’re always excavating to make room for more,” he said happily. “Our entire cultural history is stored in this building.”

Trixie stared down. “We don’t have to walk all the way to the bottom, do we?”

“Oh, no. Ms. Ba’ast’s private chambers are right on the first floor. Er, the top floor, I mean.”

Sunset took a moment to ponder the appropriate vocabulary to use for an upside-down building. Trixie asked, “How come they’re there?”

“Huh?” Arthur asked.

“Well, if this is the oldest part, did this Bast lady build her offices into ancient history? Did she have to wreck some hieroglyphs to do that?”

Sunset frowned. “Trixie, I think the rooms were probably always there, and they’re just handed down from generation to generation.”

Arthur scratched his head. “Why would we need to pass them down?”

There was a lengthy pause. “Because… eventually the cat using them will die?”

“Oh,” Arthur said, eyes growing wide. “Do you horses not have goddesses, then?”

Trixie looked at Sunset. Sunset looked at Trixie. “Sort of?” Sunset said. “I mean, they don’t really like being called that, mostly.”

“Sunset is a goddess,” Trixie said almost at the same time.

“Oh, yeah, I guess that’s true,” Sunset said.

Arthur stared at her. “How do you forget being a goddess?”

“Hey, this was a recent development!” Sunset said, gesturing to her mane.

“In some ways, perhaps,” Trixie mused. “On the other hoof, in some ways you’ve been a goddess from the very start.”

Sunset cocked her head. “That’s an interesting concept, Trixie. I wasn’t aware that you subscribed to fatalism. Is that fatalism?
The idea that we’re all destined to fulfil our intended role in the cosmos--”

“Sunset,” Trixie said, grabbing the mare’s face with both hooves and drawing her near. “That was a compliment. Trixie was saying you look very pretty. Nod if you understand.”

Sunset glared, but nodded. She looked adorable with her cheeks all squished like that, Trixie thought. “Trixie?”

“Yes, Sunset?”

“If you don’t let me go, I’ll set you on fire with my hair.”

Trixie quickly released Sunset’s cheeks. Sunset huffed and shook her head quickly as though trying to clear it. “Okay!” she said. “Let’s go make nice with the cat goddess.”

***

There was some difficulty getting down into the Omphalos itself. Arthur wanted to take the elevator. He really wanted to take the elevator. The two mares didn’t understand why, exactly, until the saw the elevators. They were stuffed with cats, all simultaneously coiled over and around one another and pretending that the others didn’t exist. “C’mon!” Arthur said. “We’ll fit!”

Trixie and Sunset had exchanged a look, then made for the stairs. “Hey! Hold on, I’m supposed to keep an eye on you!”

“Then come on!” Trixie shouted back. “We’re wasting whatever passes for daylight around here!”

Sunset led the way down the stairs, her flaming mane casting bright, flickering light over the stairs as they descended into the dark halls. “Seriously, they could light the entire city, but they can’t light one dang staircase?” she complained.

“Nokitty ever uses them,” Arthur replied.

“Why not?”

“Staircases aren’t box-shaped.”

“Of course,” Sunset said wearily. “I don’t know why I even bothered to ask.”

Eventually, they came out into the light of the hallway again. Neither Sunset nor Trixie asked where Ba’ast’s office was. It was a little too obvious. In among the crude early scratchings on the wall, little more than claw marks in the vague semblance of glyphs, there was an opulent, gem-studded purple door in a golden arch. “Wow,” Sunset said. “That’s, uh…”

“Very understated,” Trixie said drily.

Arthur frowned, and his paw rested on his belt. For the first time, Sunset realized that the cat had a sword. “Are you insulting the goddess?”

“No, no,” Trixie said. “Merely saying that the interior decorator was more of an inferior decorator.”

Sunset quietly stepped behind Trixie, never breaking eye contact with Arthur. Then, she allowed a little of her anger to seep out, turning her merrily-burning mane into a bonfire. Arthur took his paw off his sword. “I think it’s a very nice door, Trixie.”

“Oh, it’s a good door,” Trixie agreed. “It just doesn’t fit the rest of the hallway. But Trixie supposes that it may be redeemable if the offices match the style.”

Arthur nodded slowly. “Right. Of course.” He relaxed. “Er, I’d better knock.”

He reached out and swung back the door-knocker. It fell against the door with a satisfying thump. “Come in,” a female voice said. It was a soft, slow voice, but there was great power behind it, bordering on the arrogant. Well, she was a cat goddess, after all. 

The door opened, revealing a room just as resplendent as the door. It was decorated with gold and precious stones, with incense burning in pots around the room. On a long altar in the center of the chamber, Ba’ast reclined. She was tall and slender, with a lilac coat striped with a darker shade of purple. Her eyes were green and misty, like the dew on a field. Around her neck, tail, and limbs, she wore a set of golden bangles, inlaid with green stones. Most curiously of all, she had three ends to her tail. 

She lay on the altar posed as though about to be painted. Privately, Sunset thought she was attempting to look provocative-- very ‘paint me like one of your French cats.’ Sunset glanced at Trixie to see how she was reacting, but the magician seemed, for once, not to care too much about the new pretty female being. Perhaps this particular pose was only considered attractive to bipeds. “Enter,” Ba’ast ordered gently. Her voice sounded faraway and considering.

Arthur entered first, dropping to his knees as soon as he entered. Sunset hesitated, unsure of the protocol. Trixie just smiled and winked at the goddess. “I wasn’t sure when I saw the door, but your Cattiness, can I just say how purr-fect you look?”

Arthur looked up, horrified. Ba’ast merely smiled. “Certainly. I’m glad to see I invite praise even from the acolyte of another.”

Sunset’s face burned brighter than her mane or wings. “Um, she’s not really my--”

“Sister!” Ba’ast’s face brightened. “It does my heart good to see you appear on the mortal plane once more.”

Sunset blinked. “Sister?” she repeated, confused.

“Sister goddess,” Ba’ast said smoothly. “I am glad to see you return in my empire’s hour of greatest need. I would converse with you in private so we may discuss preparations for war.”

Sunset chuckled nervously. “Sorry? I don’t really…”

She caught the look in Ba’ast’s eye. “I don’t really… intend to leave my high priestess out in this unfamiliar city. She is wise in the ways of gods, but lost and confused in the realm of mortals. Already today, she has nearly been eaten.”

Trixie opened her mouth to object, but a glare from Sunset silenced her. Ba’ast frowned. “And what makes you think that she will not meet a terrible fate in here?”

Sunset looked at her evenly. “Because I’m in here, too.”

“Very well. Arthur, leave us.”

He bowed his head and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Ba’ast was lightning fast. Before Sunset could blink, the cat had wrapped a paw around her horn and slammed her head on the altar. Trixie cried out as she was snatched off the ground by the tall purple cat.

“Who are you?” Ba’ast demanded, all pretense of gentility evaporated. “What do you want?”

Sunset was dazed, and she was fairly sure her nose was bleeding. “This is my city,” Ba’ast snarled. “I can only hold back Anubis so far, but I’ll be bathed if I let some little pony upstart take control.” Holding a struggling Trixie up by her collar, the cat goddess flicked out a claw. “Surrender now, or I’ll slice her gut to gizzard.”

Letting the Fur Fly

As she felt the sharp claw push against her stomach, Trixie squirmed, then screamed for all she was worth.

Evidently, Diamond Dogs weren’t the only ones with sensitive ears. Ba’ast flinched and loosened her grip. It wasn’t much, but it was all Trixie needed. She wriggled out of her cloak, fell to the ground, and scampered to hide behind the altar. Ba’ast made to leap at her, but a bolt of flame singed her whiskers.

“No, you don’t,” Sunset said. “Immortal or not, I don’t think being immolated is exactly a pleasant experience. Paws up, buttercup.”

“You dare!”

“Yeah, you lost that right when you threatened to cut Trixie’s guts out. Paws up, or I make you extra crispy.”

Ba’ast scowled but did as she was told, dropping the cloak. Trixie levitated it back her way and pulled it on before it could even hit the floor. “Now,” Trixie said, stepping forward. “You wanna explain what’s going on here?”

“As if you didn’t know!” Ba’ast scoffed.

“Exactly.”

The cat scowled. “Obviously, you’re a rival goddess, attempting to wrest control of my cats. Well, you won’t do it. They’re far too loyal to me, and anyway, I’d rip you apart first.”

“Yeah, wrong. We’re here because your kitties stole our time machine and the mayor wants us to chase away the mean ol’ puppy dogs for you.”

Ba’ast’s eyes flashed. “Lies,” she hissed.

“Truths!” Trixie countered. “Ask your dogsbody-- excuse Trixie, your catspaw, Arthur! He was with us in the mayor’s office.”

Ba’ast’s eyes narrowed. “Perhaps you are telling the truth after all. I can hardly believe that any being would see his lordship unless they absolutely had to, even for the sake of conquest.”

“Look, we honestly couldn’t care less about your empire,” Sunset said. “Keep it, rule it, whatever, we’ve got our own planet to worry about. But look, Trixie’s come up with a plan to chase off the dogs for awhile. Let us do that, give us back our timeship, and you’ll be out of our hair.”

Ba’ast frowned, confused. “Don’t you mean--”

“I know what I said.”

The cat goddess huffed. “If it were that simple, I would let you go and get yourselves killed,” she said. “Unfortunately, it isn’t.

“You may wonder why I haven’t simply struck down Anubis and his army of scavengers where they stand.”

“Not really,” said Sunset.

“We don’t usually do ‘smiting’ in Equestria,” Trixie explained. “More ‘friendship laser’.”

“Love blast,” Sunset added.

“Rainbow harmony beams.”

“But we’re not big on smiting.”

Ba’ast snorted. “Weakness.”

“Sure, whatever you say, but we managed to ally ourselves with the embodiment of chaos,” Sunset said.

“So go on, why do you not smite the dogs?” Trixie asked.

Ba’ast pointed to her tail, flicking it in the air. It was odd, the way it split into three at the tip, but that was not what the cat wanted to show them. “You see this cavity?” she demanded.

The mares nodded. “There was an emerald there. These gems you see on me are the source of my power. In an early scuffle with Anubis, he threw me with a cheap blow and pried the jewel from my tail. While he possesses it, I cannot harm him.”

“Alright, fine. We’ll get you back your gem, chase off the dogs, you give us back our TARDIS--”

“And free breadsticks!”

“And, like, a barrel of free breadsticks!” Sunset finished with a nod. “Because we deserve them!”

Ba’ast stared at Sunset for a long moment. Then, she stuck out a paw. “Deal.”

Sunset took her paw and shook it.

“Now,” said Ba’ast, “why don’t you outline this clever little plan of yours for regaining my lost power?”

***

They had left the office some fifteen minutes after Ba’ast had stopped trying to kill them. The cat had been fascinated with the fireworks, and asked how far they could fly. This had led to a very enthusiastic lecture from Trixie about the biggest explosions she’d ever made, as well as an equally excited lecture from Sunset about how humans had used sufficiently large explosions to visit space. Ba’ast had been intrigued. Trixie looked to be on the fence about kissing Sunset senseless. She supposed that she should feel a little guilty for giving the showmare ideas like that. On the other hoof, she was a chaos goddess now, so she might as well roll with it.

Arthur had been waiting just outside the door the whole time, apparently. Sunset wondered how much he’d heard, or if he’d heard anything at all. If he knew what had happened in those rooms, he didn’t let on. Though, Sunset supposed that if he had heard what happened to his goddess, he might simply have other things on his mind. 

Still, he had shown no signs of concern when he had taken them back to their cell. It was nothing personal, he had explained. “Just following orders. The mayor doesn’t want you wandering off before you chase away the dogs.” 

He had watched their reactions carefully, and Sunset had watched him watch them. She re-evaluated her opinion of the cat. He wasn’t quite as pliant and obtuse as he seemed. She had sighed, of course, and Trixie had trotted to one of the cots and flopped onto her back. That seemed to satisfy him.

He had made to shut the door then, but before he could, Sunset called out to him. When he paused, she met him dead in the eyes. “No man can have two masters, Arthur. Sooner or later, it’s going to be either Ba’ast or the mayor. Eventually, there’s going to just be an argument too great for them to just grumble over.”

Arthur had gone quite grey at that and shut the door behind him quickly.

“Why did you tell him that?” Trixie asked.

“Because it’s true,” Sunset said simply. “I don’t think this is a stable way to govern. On the other side of the mirror portal, there was this big thing about working to separate church and state. I think that definitely applies here.”

“How?”

“Government derives from consent of the governed. Right now, Ba’ast has a major advantage over the mayor, because she’s the beloved protector or whatever. Fluffbutt, on the other hoof, is a grumpy jerk.”

Trixie frowned. “So why is he still in office?”

“My question exactly.”

“Interesting,” Trixie mused, rolling onto her stomach. “You are trying to spark a rebellion, perhaps?”

Sunset shook her head. “No… I just want these cats to think about whose paws they’re putting power into.”

“Why? It’s no business of yours.”

Sunset blinked. She recognized that tone of voice. It was the same one Celestia had used on her many times in her youth. She was being tested. By Trixie?

“Because,” she said slowly, “it’s better for them to understand the danger they’re in now rather than when it comes to tear them apart. They need to protect themselves before the storm hits.”

“Interesting,” Trixie said again, rolling onto her back once more. Sunset watched her for another moment. Maybe Arthur wasn’t the only one she needed to reevaluate.

***

There are times in life when everyone begins to question the choices that led them to this situation. Finding yourself dressed as a clown is one of them, as is being audited by the federal government. Doing French homework also tends to have this effect. None, however, have quite the effect on the psyche as does realizing that you are going to attempt to fight off a pack of intelligent jackals with what can only be described as a bomb on a stick.

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