I've been thinking about this.

And I have decide to release a limited preview of the revisions that have been done so far.

Clouds had begun to roll in, gradually taking over the once clear skies. However, the changes in the weather didn’t have the attention of the occupants of the blue, two-story house. Instead they were engaged in preparing for their weekend plans.

“Brianna Drake, hold still!” Karen Drake chided, exasperated as her twelve-year-old daughter wriggled. The young girl’s excitement was clear in the mirror of the vanity. “If you keep fidgeting, the brush is going to get stuck and you’ll only have yourself to blame!”

Brianna giggled nervously. "Sorry, Mama, I'm just really excited and it’s kind of hard to sit still.” She settled down after a moment and her face dissolved into a pout. “It’s going to be a little less fun without Pinkie and the others though. I mean really, a party without Pinkie is just weird.”

Karen laughed. “That’s just the way it goes sometimes, sweetheart. So don’t worry so much about it, okay? Besides, there is alway the next party. And who knows what fun surprises will Pinkie come up with then?”

The young girl smirked. “Yeah, knowing Pinkie, she’ll have a lot of things up her sleeve too, without any sleeves. How does she do that? It’s like she is magical or something.”

Karen fumbled with the brush for a moment before placing it on the vanity. “She and your father are just too much sometimes and I don’t think we should be encouraging either of them.”

Brianna deadpanned at her mother in the mirror. “Mama, they don’t need us to come up with wild ideas. And wow, does Pinkie ever come up with some wild ideas on her own.”

Karen picked up the royal purple hair ribbon from the vanity and began tying it. “True, your father and Pinkie are downright incoraggable at times.” She sighed. “Honestly, I have no idea how I deal with your father sometimes, Brianna.”

A dreamy sigh escaped the young girl. “It’s love, Mama, love makes it so we can put up with it.” She sighed again. “It’s all so wonderful.”

Her mother smiled as she finished tying the ribbon in Brianna’s hair. “Yes, it is, sweetheart. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but love is very wonderful. And trust me when I say that you’ll really understand it better only when you’re older.” 

Brianna stuck out her tongue in response. “It’s always when I’m older. Is there anything I can understand right now?” she said with a pout. 

Karen smiled warmly. “It’s just a part of growing up, sweetheart. Now don’t forget your present for Megan and let’s get downstairs.”

“Okay, Mama. I wonder what silly story daddy is going to be telling to Auntie Ribbon?” Brianna replied while retrieving a red wrapped box from the vanity. 

Her mother laughed. “There is only one way to find out,” she said as they headed towards the stairs.

They came down to see the two people in question talking and laughing.

Bob’s short brown hair was bouncing as he waved his head wildly while making  exaggerated gestures mimicking a fishing rod as he told the tail end of the story. “And then the rod and line snapped at the same time and I looked at Megan’s dad and said, it looks like I finally caught a break.”

Ribbon's green eyes had a hint of playful mischief in them as she laughed at her friend’s story. “Oh Bob, that’s awful,” she said, still giggling. “You’re always making bad jokes at the best times.” She turned to saw Brianna and Karen standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching the exchange. “And here is the birthday girl. How are you tonight, Brianna?” 

Brianna smiled. She felt lucky to have such wonderful people in her life. “Hi Daddy, Hi Auntie Ribbon. I’m doing fine tonight,” she replied before rushing over to hug them.

“Hey princess, looking good,” Bob replied while returning the hug. “Are you ready for the weekend with Megan? A long romantic weekend with Megan?” He winked at her.

These are the revisions done to the start of the first chapter for Believe in Magic. Thanks to the help from Everfree Pony and Chaotic Ink I have been able to improve the overall flow of the story.

And I am quite pleased with how it turned out so far. It is really starting to feel like the story in my head rather than what came out. And ever though Everfree is unavailable for the time being I am going to continue to work on it.

So far my plan is to finish the first chapter of Believe in Magic, and the turn my attention to the work that needs to be done for ATR. This way the first chapter in both stories can be revised, edited, and put up as soon as possible.

That is where it stands at the moment.