My Fanfic Review on “A Queen Sized Apology” · 3:42pm Jun 17th, 2019
G’Day, Mates.
Welcome to my 5th fanfic review.
And golly, I realized recently that it’s once again been a while since I last did a fanfic review. The last time I did one was on the 12th of April this year.
Anyway...
Today, I’ll be reviewing twilightsparkle3562’s “A Queen Sized Apology”.
Here’s what it’s about, summarized by Yours Truly:
In the aftermath of the Storm King’s defeat, and a little while after the Friendship Festival ended, Queen Novo and the rest of her hippogryph people decide to come out of hiding entirely, taking the time to rebuild their old city on the surface and reopen negotiations with Equestria.
However, there is still one matter that needs to be resolved. And that matter involves both Queen Novo and Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Can the two royals work out their mistakes towards one another? Or are they destined to be separated by bad-blood forever?
Before I start telling you all what I think of this story, I’d like to ask you guys something very important:
Has anyone ever felt bummed by the fact that there was no reconciliation moment between Twilight and Novo in the 2017 MLP film? Or by the fact that Hasbro (now going by the name Allspark) didn’t depict the two characters reconciling in something like an FiM episode?
Well, let me tell you guys something:
twilightsparkle3562 was able to accomplish something that no one else has done, and he did it so beautifully!
The personalities and mannerisms of each character featured were pretty well intact. Even Novo and Skystar were each in-character, and that’s considering that their only appearances were in the film and that this story was posted not long after the film’s release. I especially loved how gentle-hearted and wise Skystar was towards her mother and Twilight, as well as how much the guilt and emotions of the latter two characters truly resonated in this story.
The character developments of Novo and Twilight, as well as the reconciliation between the two, were also what I’d like to call some of the story’s best parts. The fact that they also admitted their mistakes, even in front of their fellow royals, was something that I thought really strengthened them as characters.
The story itself was beautifully done. I found that twilightsparkle3562 gave excellent creative thought into it all, putting in perfect heart and emotion that makes this fanfic worthy of everyone’s time. I immediately couldn’t help but vision this as something that happened in the show canon, and additionally thought that everything was well-paced despite the story being rather short.
Before I conclude this post, though, I’d like to give a special message to the author.
twilightsparkle3562: As I have been saying in my review, I have deeply enjoyed your story. I just have a few suggestions here on how it can be improved and make it better, if you’re open for it:
(Note: What’s been covered is heavily filled with spoilers, so I don’t want anyone besides the author to see what I’m recommending to him or her.)
”All I wanted was to protect ourselves from the Storm King," sighed Novo as she walked away from the repairs. "We couldn't risk being even more vulnerable to him and his forces, Skystar, you know that."
It should instead be:
“All I wanted was to protect our people from the Storm King," sighed Novo as she walked away from the repairs. "We couldn't risk being even more vulnerable to him and his forces, Skystar, you know that."
”How could I have been so foolish?" Novo thought to herself in mortal shame. "Why couldn’t I just put my protective nature aside and help a fellow nation instead of hiding underwater like a coward? That's what I was, a coward, all because I didn't want to confront the Storm King, not after what he did to us. Well, at least I can try and beg for Princess Twilight's forgiveness."
...
The next morning, Novo and Skystar flew over to Canterlot flanked by their entourage and landed at the entrance to Canterlot where Princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight were waiting. Novo looked over towards Twilight and took an enormous gulp, hoping that Twilight would forgive her for her actions.
Change it to this:
"How could I have been so foolish?" Novo thought to herself in mortal shame. "Why couldn't I just put my protective nature aside and help a fellow nation instead of hiding underwater like a coward? That's what I was, a coward, all because I didn't want to confront the Storm King, not after what he did to us. Well, at least I can try and beg for Princess Twilight's forgiveness."
The next morning, Novo and Skystar flew over to Canterlot flanked by their entourage and landed at the entrance to Canterlot where Princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight were waiting. Novo looked over towards Twilight and took an enormous gulp, hoping that Twilight would forgive her for her actions.
”You did what you needed to do, Twilight," sympathized Skystar. "My mom will understand what you are trying to say. She just has a pride that sometimes goes to her head."
…
As the breakfast began, Novo and Twilight were seated across from each other and ate their breakfast in awkward silence. This caught the attention of the other princesses.
Change it to this:
”You were only doing what you thought was right, Twilight," sympathized Skystar. "My mom will understand. She just has a pride that sometimes goes to her head."
As the breakfast began, Novo and Twilight were seated across from each other and ate their breakfast in awkward silence. This caught the attention of the other princesses.
"As a matter of fact," confessed Twilight, knowing that the jig was already up. "Something did happen because of me. I know you are probably going to be disappointed with me, but I tried to find a way to save Equestria that involved going to extreme measures."
You can make it this:
"As a matter of fact," confessed Twilight, knowing that the jig was already up. "Something did happen. Because of me,” she rubbed her right leg with her left hoof in guilt, “I know you are probably going to be disappointed with me, but I tried to find a way to save Equestria that involved going to extreme measures."
”We all were under pressure," she said in a sympathetic voice. "If there is one individual that should we blame for all of this it's the Storm King and he paid for his crimes with his life."
Change it to this:
"We were all under pressure," she said in a sympathetic voice. "If there is one individual that should be blame for this, it's the Storm King, and he paid for his crimes with his life."
Novo and Twilight glanced over at each other for a brief second and then got up from the table to embrace each other.
Change it to this version:
Novo and Twilight glanced over at each other for a brief second, and then...
Twilight got up from the table and flew over to Novo, and in the blink of an eye...
She embraced her, wrapping her forehooves around the queen’s neck as tears dripped down her eyes.
Apology accepted," said Twilight, much to Novo's relief as she let out a light chuckle, much to Skystar's amusement. However, Novo was quick to jump on her. "And you, young lady, are still so grounded!"
I recommend going with this one:
"Apology accepted," said Twilight, much to Novo's relief.
Novo smiled let out a light chuckle, before she wrapped her foreclaws and giant feathery wings around the little princess’s body and held her close.
“I forgive you too.” She told her with tears, much to Twilight’s relief in return.
The scene that was happening was much to Skystar's amusement. However, Novo was quick to jump on her, and she turned her attention to her daughter as she was still holding Twilight.
“And you, young lady, are still so grounded!" She sassily told her daughter.
And the table broke into a small laughter as Novo managed to accept the apology of a Princess who was just trying to help her homeland.
…
THE END
Make it this:
And the table broke into a small laughter as Novo and Twilight let go from their embrace. The hippogryph queen...and the alicorn princess...were now friends.
THE END
In the end, however, “A Queen Sized Apology” is a story that not even Hasbro (Allspark) itself thought to pursue; and thanks to the brilliant mind and creativity of this story’s author, it’s even one that I highly recommend for all to see, especially for those specifically looking for a story about Twilight and Novo calling it water under the bridge.
So, I rate “A Queen Sized Apology” a solid five out of five stars.
This definitely sounds interesting! I’ll read it eventually.
Okay, I kinda want to read it for myself now.
Heh, since you reviewed a story that has Queen Novo in it..... wanna review my story with Queen Novo in it? :3
5075927
Maybe.
In retrospect though, I’m not interested in reading stories about people transforming into MLP characters.
5075946
:T
I go through Transformations for a living :T
This fanfic was a perfect way to have Twilight and Queen Novo have reconciliation.
I for one like the story and your suggestions are great!
You make excellent points about the text.
And I agree that the story itself is excellent! It is a shame we never saw a reconciliation moment in the movie. Granted, it may have been for time constraints, and it is clear in Season 8 that Novo has forgiven Twilight, but it would been nice to see that.
I do hope Novo returns in the show before it ends.
5079318
Me too.
The same with other characters from the movie.
5079324
Yeah. But given the ensemble actors who voiced the movie characters, would it be affordable to bring them?