Story plugs, Weathervanes, and Everfree NorthWest 2019 fun · 12:32am May 26th, 2019
Way behind on this, so I need to get cracking. First, go read Rhythm by Illya Leonov, Master of the Voice. Could use a little technical cleanup, but interesting backstory and plot. Illya’s a first time author and frequent narrator, a cool dude well worth checking out, and not just because he’s done a wonderful reading for More Precious Than Silver or Gold.
Speaking of checking out, the Everfree NorthWest 2019 Iron Author competition went well this year. For those of you who don't know, Iron Author is a competition where you get tossed a prompt, which this year was writing about a character who shows up in the opening credits, but set ten years or so in the future. We were given two hours to write on it, and a team of judges proceed (with pizza and plenty of Pepsi) to take most of the evening to figure out which one of the awesome authors in the competition is the awesomest.
Last year, I fireballed hard in the contest, and might have eeked out last place. Seriously, it was bad. This year, I managed to get an hour and a half of writing in one long burst, top to bottom, with a half-hour burnt in struggling with technology. I didn't think I had placed, because the authors in the contest are really, really good. However, to my shock, I tied for second place with Aquaman (out to about three decimal places in the scores).
They wanted me to read Your Friend Forever, Sweetie Belle out loud for the room. I had Xepher read it for me, because I would have broken down into sniffles in the middle and had to pass it off anyway. If anybody recorded that, let me know. I was still in too much shock.
Aquaman managed the reading of his The Sum Of Our Parts far better, and let me encourage you to read it also. (They’re both short, so it won’t take much time)
Had a couple of ideas get sparked lately. Might as well toss them at you guys.
Starting by the very nice What Is He To Her, I could not help but think of another prospective story idea. How does this sound?
Princess of the Food Court
Princess Luna struggles with modern definitions of court. And Mall Security. Bail is involved.
Then there was an idea that popped up during one of the Everfree NorthWest discussions that can be summarized as “What if Obi Wan Kenobi sent Luke Skywalker to the Eqquis system, to learn the ways of the force from Master Celestia?
What if Twilight Sparkle objected to Celestia taking a student to be taught things she was not taught?
What if Chrysalis were really a Sith Lord?
“Your master will not teach you.” The voice was low and rough, coming from the darkest corner of Twilight’s oaken library where the light seemed reluctant to illuminate. A dark shape with glowing green eyes slunk silently out of the shadows and regarded the cringing purple unicorn with a sharp-toothed smile. “She fears your power. You have the potential to be more, far more than she ever could control, and so she holds you back, refuses you the lessons that could unleash your true power! Join me as my apprentice and we will unlock those forbidden doors to your destiny. I will show you the pathway to worlds you never dreamed of, and they shall all bow to our might.”
“And… I could check out books from the Restricted Section?” asked Twilight. “Without having to show my library card?”
Then there’s the rough outline I did of a story where Spike is an Imaginary Friend, under the theory that unicorns get Imaginary Friends for a week or two when they burst into their cutie mark. Spike, being an IF of a very powerful unicorn, lasts for eight years, and Twilight treats him just like he's real. So all the writing, carrying, and such is all her unconscious magic. Shining Armor is painfully aware of this, and goes ahead of her to Ponyville to inform the citizens of his sister's (ahem) slight mental condition. Naturally, the rest of the M6 react a little odd, but they realize that Twilight is a worthy friend regardless of her oddness.
Then she travels into the Everfree Forest with her friends, and she realizes she doesn’t need Spike any more, because she has something far better with real, live ponies.
Then as a kicker, after they defeat Nightmare Moon and Celestia arrives, she extends her hoof of friendship to her little sister, Princess Luna… who is not there, and who everypony suddenly realizes is an Imaginary Friend who has lasted over a thousand years.
I really should write that some decade.
Then there’s a story I’d like to see Estee write, because I don’t think I could do it justice.
Spike Gets Checked Out
"Excuse me. I'd like to check out this dragon."
"Beg pardon?" Twilight had been deep into her current book, but the odd words made her surface to reality like a trout catching a grasshopper.
"I said I'd like to check out this dragon," insisted the older mare, a tan earth pony with a swirly curl in her amber mane. "Does he check out for a full two weeks like the rest of the books, or is he a special like the New Releases? I've got my card." Said library card was pushed across the oak librarian table by one petite hoof and the mare added, "Oh, and I'll need a book on dragon care, probably a food bowl, and a bed. Are those included in the loan?"
Twilight Sparkle considered her words, decided that several of them were dangerous enough that she should never say them inside the library, even to herself, and settled on a different phrase. "He's not available for loan."
A faint tap-tap-tap distracted her from returning to the book, and Twilight looked up to where the mare was indicating an old, wooden sign that most possibly predated the last three librarians.
Public Library
All contents may be checked out by library patrons.
Books due in two weeks
New Releases - one week
All other items - two days
"The town owns the library," continued the older mare, "and part of that is the ability to check out the contents. Tables and chairs for yard sales, the banners for events at the Town Hall, and all of the rest of the inventory for patron's use, provided they are returned in good condition. So is there a hold on the dragon, or can I take him home now?"
Then I finally found this from Sigawesome, a brief explanation of the importance of weathervanes that first showed up in Eakin’s Hard Reset and that Sigawesome left for me in Changelings, Love and Lollipops.
"The Weather Vane Technique (WVT), like the Matrix, cannot be explained. It must be experienced.
"Unfortunately, most of the details have been suppressed and censored by no fewer that 14 pieces of legislation including the Obscene Publications Act, the Indecent Displays Act, the Indecent Publications Act, the Obscene Displays Act, the Obscene Display of Indecency Act, the Indecent Publication of Obscenity Act, and the Indecent Publication of Obscene Displays Act.
"- The WVT will make you explode a minimum of three times.
"- The WVT has been banned by 7 major religions and 12 minor ones.
"- The WVT was excluded from the Kama Sutra for being too risqué.
"- The techniques used in the WVT were once thought to be biologically impossible.
"- Mares new to the WVT and stallions are advised to start with the 'S' on the weather vane and work their way counter-clockwise. Experienced practitioners may begin with the 'W' and proceed clockwise.
"- Practitioners of the WVT should wait a minimum of three hours before attempting to swim, fly, teleport, expend more than 17 thaums of magic, operate heavy machinery, lift heavy objects, or eat candyfloss.
"- Contrary to popular rumour, there is no difference between cast iron and bronze weather vanes. Plastic weather vanes, however, may develop unsightly stains.
"- According to the Modern Medical Manual of Mare Maladies, the WVT is the third leading cause of tail hair loss.
"- The Society for the Study of Sensual Stallion Sex conducted a survey amongst 10,000 participants. When asked 'Do you prefer a clockwise or counter-clockwise WVT?', 2,000 replied with 'counter-clockwise' and 7,999 replied with 'clockwise'. The remaining stallion simply said 'yes'.
"- Under no circumstances should the WVT be performed on or near combustible fibres such as wool, silk, cotton, linen, rayon, nylon, rayon, gortex, spandex, or vinyl as spontaneous ignition may occur. Asbestos safety lingerie is strongly recommended. Full fire entry garments may be required for honeymoons, anniversaries, birthdays, and Hearts and Hooves Day."
What if Luke's "training" mostly consisted of an endless series of horse puns and practical jokes, and he's getting kind of sick of it? I mean, the Dark Side has that whole fear/anger/hate/suffering thing, shouldn't the Light Side get something about joy?
Wait shit, now it's an actual idea instead of a dumb joke aaugh
"Look, I know it's kind of demeaning, but it's only temporary," Twilight offered an apologetic smile. "Just until we can get this whole... thing sorted out, okay?"
"I still don't see why you didn't just throw her out," Spike grumbled, fidgeting with the REFERENCE placard hung around his neck.
5064488 The Dark Side of the Horse flows strongly in you, young Nemryn...
That... that sounds so heartbreakingly sad. Like all Celestia ever wanted was a sister and friend so much so that she invents a sibling.
Blimey. Now there is a blast from the past
To say why or how would be spoilers, of course, but this brings to mind elements of Kwakerjak's Petriculture Cycle.
The remaining stallion simply said "yes."
My kinda dude. I should buy him a beer.
I’d read the imaginary friend and Spike stories in a heartbeat
Also, belated congratulations on Iron Author! Last year I pounded out possibly the best (and fastest) first draft I’ve ever done, but didn’t do well in the judging. The competition is as stiff as the time constraints.
I do still love the crossover idea, to say nothing of the others.
"Ma'am, that's called slavery."
"Nonsense. I rented three ponies last year at Rainbow Falls for four barrels of cider and a signed photo of Sapphire Shores."
"Speaking for my good friend Applejack, I'd like to know precisely where you're getting barrels of cider."
"... I'll be back tomorrow."
5064510 "It's not slavery! It's not like I'm paying for him. Checking him out is free. Plus I'm going to have to feed him. I already got a bucket full of rubies, and I was going to stop by Sugarcube Corner on the way back to let him pick out some pastries."
"Really?" If Spike had ears, they would have been perked straight up. "With anything I want on them? Even ground opals?"
"Spike!" Twilight scowled. "You're not permitted to have opals. They give you gas."
"You said rayon twice."
"I like rayon."
Oh man, imagine the MLP version of Blazing Saddles.
That Checkout story is immensely unreasonable. Spike clearly isn't a book, and the sign clearly states "All other items - two days"
This really does sound like an Estee story, I'd guess it would end with Twilight herself getting checked out for a few days.
"Then as a kicker, after they defeat Nightmare Moon and Celestia arrives, she extends her hoof of friendship to her little sister, Princess Luna… who is not there, and who everypony suddenly realizes is an Imaginary Friend who has lasted over a thousand years."
...So the question that comes to my mind then is: Who or what was(is?) Nightmare Moon?
5064651
By Big Mac?
Talk about ambivalence!
5064491
Ah. Found it!
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