I need to unwind, so allow me a moment of ranting · 5:10pm May 16th, 2019
One of the biggest issues of being a human, perhaps the biggest issue, is to know that your time is limited. Not just that you’re going to die, but that you need to go to bed. Nothing hammers this home more than having a job, or in my case currently, an internship.
I remember summer breaks back in school. No job, and barely any obligations. Some light housekeeping duties, but other than that it was just video games all day long. It was further easier than writing because not a lot of stars need to align for you to be in a gaming mood, at least it doesn’t for me. Is it practically any time of any day? Or night for that matter. Most of the time, the answer is yes. Is it raining outside? Even better.
Writing though, that’s harder. Do I want to write? Well, it depends on a lot of things. Is it beautiful outside? How much mental energy I you have? How much physical energy do I have? Any other obligations? Am I mentally in the right place to write at the moment?
I impressed the people at my place of intern enough though. The papers are signed. I start getting a salary in a few days, so that’s going to be very nice. It’s going to help take care of a lot of things in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs so that I can sit down in front of my computer without this nagging feeling in the back of my mind which I know from experience does not help my creative output.
But the thing is that it’s a job involving people, and I’m an introvert. I know that introverts complaining about their fellow humans is like one of the most overdone things on the internet, but here’s some more. One secret is that introverts don’t actually hate their fellow human beings, and any introvert who’s telling you that probably just wants attention, and is probably further frustrated if being an introvert is part of an identity they’ve built for themselves and looking for attention and sympathy, but they need to disguise that search so as to not ruin the image.
Anyway, fellow humans, to me, are like sewage treatment. They’re a marvelous, over-complicated arrangement involving engineering, biology, chemistry, and lots of planning, all tied together in a nightmarishly complicated system, and I very, very much appreciate it being around.
It’s just that it can get tiresome being around it often and for long stretches of time.
It’s not the worst job I’ve had, I’ve had far worse, where tensions were high, stress was ever-present, attitudes and moods were bad, conditions were poor, and the risk of injury unnerving, and I appreciate that some people have even worse jobs than that, but even that one, and all the other jobs I’ve had before this, I had time to be alone with my thoughts, and that’s the key for my creative output.
Anyway, I started off talking about I think. I guess what I’m saying is that I have less time and energy now than I had before, and this has been a grueling chapter to get through for mlaabq. I’m currently at 34212 in, so I’m getting there. It could actually be done now, but the ending needs to be rewritten. It’s not terrible, at least I don’t think so, but it’s a little weak. Delaying an already delayed chapter because one part isn’t as good as I can make it might sound a little obsessive, but this is the ending of an almost five year long project, so I want to make it right. And then there’s the sequel that I want to write the first chapter of before I release this chapter. So don’t worry, mlaabq chapter 23 is coming.
Made a comment earlier about something similar but it disappeared.
Long story short is that I work surveillance and watch suspicious activity on cameras. It can be stressful cause these cameras pick up movement from almost anything from moving people to shadows that looked like something moved to a speck of dust. It makes me paranoid and when there is an intruder hope the cops or other types of security pick up cause if something is stolen the people just blame us for it
After a power outage the cameras were off for about three months. Needless to say it messed with my sanity. People might say 'Hey at least you had a lot of free time to do what you want', but no it was making me crazy having nothing much to do but read stuff or watch videos which was getting old pretty fast.
I'm gonna work on a story but it might rake a while.
5059581
I've always been a very internal person, and able to entertain myself with my thoughts when I'm away from other entertainment (it's when I should have entertainment available to me and I'm for some reason not able to enjoy it that I get frustrated). Long rides in cars or on trains or boats are fine to me, because I can work on stories in my head, and reflect on stories I've seen or read or played and do some philosophy on the telling of stories.
So yeah, I'd recommend starting a story too if you have a bunch of downtime. Not sure how much it would interfere with your performance if you work on it while on your job, but still, I liked writing, and I hope you do as well.
5059586
Thanks you.
Me and my friend are doing stuff like he tells me something like for example: yesterday he told me make something up about dragon clans. So I made a story up from that of how mighty or elegant they were... then he told me thou went to war so I just made something up from there and so on and so on. Said it was good that I made stuff up.
5059594
Ah yeah, co-operative storytelling can be really fun. That's pretty much what pen and paper role playing games are. They say limitations breed creativity, and when you only have control over one aspect of a story, I guess people make it count.
Hello, Snakeskin! Good to hear from you and that you're doing alright!)
5059627
Aaw, thank you
I hope that the next time I make a public proclamation on this site it will be the next chapter for my story though
I am perfectly fine with waiting until you think it's done. If you think it needs more work before being released, then that just means a better final product in the end.
This has to be the best description of humanity I have ever heard.
5059653
Glad to hear you can hold out. It's looking pretty good if I do say so myself, other than the ending which requires some more literary flair. And it's my longest chapter yet, so I feel like I'm leaving my readers with something for them to really sink their teeth into
Also, yeah, I liked that description. Not sure where that little bit of inspiration struck from though
As the man said, " 'ard work pays off!" I look forward to the results of your hard work.
Well congrats on getting the job. As a fellow introvert, I completely understand where you're coming from with the sewage treatment analogy, but congrats regardless. Take all the time that you need, enjoy life while you can, and when you do find the time to squeeze in a bit of writing, know that you are bringing a bit more enjoyment into all of your many fan's lives too!
You and I apparently have a lot in common.
And nearly 14 years into an ordinary retail job, I'm ever so thankful that I have so much tolerance to go with my introversion.
I certainly feel you on the motivation (or lack of) that follows a long day.
5059690
Yeah, lots of new people where I work, a lot of them employed, and it's a little frustrating being better than other people, and work weekends, and not get a salary. Still, hopefully this means they'll want to keep me once the buay season is over.
Glad you're looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully you'll like that Eye Of Argon/MLP crossover I'm working on as well
5059777
Thank you. That's always so nice to hear. It's been a tense few months, the funds draining at about the same rate as my confidence as I've been looking for a job. Still, everyone goes through hard times and it's nice to know you can weather a bit of hardship
5059836
Yeah. I hope it's a skill I can develop, perhaps to sort of compartmentalize my work energy and my other energy, so that I can listen to costumers all day and then switch over to some other energy when I get home.
5059917
I don't know that energy can be compartmentalized like that, but I hope you find a way that works. I definitely appreciate my commute for the way it gives me time alone to just cruise to some music. (There are some drawbacks to a commute, but the time alone is useful after a long day) But even if I'm feeling better by the time I get home, being mentally drained has never been very easy to get rid of in the short term. (IE, without a good long nap)
I've had pretty good luck waking up a bit early and writing before work. Maybe try that from the get-go, rather than adjusting your personal schedule long after the fact.
5060014
Well, if not compartmentalize my energy, then become better at my job so that I'm not using as much energy doing it. That might work as well.
I think writing before work is right out. I've always been an afternoon and evening person, which is why it's particularly hard to have a job that leaves me drained at the time of the day where I should be coming alive. Oh well, I'm still hopeful there will be a net benefit, stress-wise, to having a salary. Stress from performing a job, but no stress from not having an income. Still, maybe some writing before work. It's gonna be a bit of a fluctuating schedule, now that people are going to be taking vacations.
5060038
I suppose that depends on the specific schedule. I'm very much not a morning person either, so days when I have to be in at 8, the idea flies right out the window. I'm not getting up at 6 so I can write a bit before driving. Not gonna happen. But getting up at 9 instead of 10 when I have the afternoon shift? Much more doable.
Would your projected schedule accommodate a bit of tweaking like that?
5060856
Yeah, so far I'm contracted for three months employment, and hopefully they'll want to keep havimg me after that, but during the coming three months I'm gonna start at different times, from 0700 to 1200. So yeah, maybe some writing in the morning.
5059659
Personally, I find a good way of describing it (at least on this site since I try to keep my interest a secret) is that being an extrovert is like being a changeling. The mere act of being around people, even complete strangers, sustains them and gives them the energy they need to get through the day.
Conversely, being an introvert is like being around changelings. Sure they may be friendly or fun to talk to, but interacting with them draws energy out of you until you just want to sleep and recharge. And, even if it is their fault that you are drained, you can't be mad at them because they aren't trying to wear you out. It just happens.
5066869
That's a really good way of putting it
The worst is when you have days worth of other obligations besides working around people, so it takes days between proper recovery.
5067472
And that is getting cocooned.
5067548
It really is. Now, if someone would just convince all the people who drain others of energy to just stop, like in the show, that would be amazing.
Oh well, I might change my tune when I finally get my paycheck and buy all the stuff that allows me to relax so I can write more.
5059653
Yup
5067966 Alondro looks up from draining some poor sap of his life energy, "What?"