Update On How Things Are Working Out · 7:15pm May 11th, 2019
I've been on that new medication for a few days. I've been working at writing, too. Things seem alright so far. I'm still really busy. I'm still not doing the best, but I'm doing better. I'm still trying to get used to the effects of everything - not side effects, just general feelings from a the kind of medication it is (it's a stimulant for managing ADHD, for reference). While I can focus SO much better and my mood is improved (I'm not used to having one general mood throughout a whole day unless something wild happens, I guess?) there's still some mildly weird stuff.
- I lose my train of thought when I'm speaking a bit more, probably connected to some of the other stuff.
- I devolve into clicking pens rapidly to try and re-focus or just... do stuff? Not really sure about this one.
- I forgetting some things I do in a short time span really quickly, but only if they're extremely mundane. So far, it's mostly about if I had coffee and how much. Maybe that's normal?
- There's times I can only describe as being really spotty in the sense that I either feel like my brain is 15 seconds ahead of my or 15 minutes behind OR maybe it's me that's behind/ahead and my brain is going really fast? Either way, it's a weird spotty feeling that makes certain stuff fuzzy.
- Because of the first effect, my Really Old (no, Seriously Really Old) Childhood Lisp that I thought I fucking banished has returned, and embarrassingly often. Combined with voice dysphoria, struggling to ever make any attempt to deepen my voice, and that I actually do talk verbosely/coherently/a lot(ish?) for someone who is deeply introverted, it's really... something. Unpleasant, I think?
All in all, none of these are actual medical side effects for what I'm taking, and I'm still not even a week into this stuff. I'm not experiencing anything close to what the actual effects of the medication are, or anything remotely hard to manage. For someone that has had Extremely Bad and Overall Weird (just take my word for it) medications in the past this is... a nice change of pace.
What this does mean is that even if my messages on here are, y'know, always open, because of the memory thing/speech stuff I might come across a bit out of character. By accident, I might forget to answer something. That sort of thing. I'm especially not interested in *actually* talking. Verbally. I'm not sure how to elaborate? My brain is kind of fuzzy right now, so extended conversations just aren't ideal because I'm feeling diminished in my ability to do so in some ways.
I really hope I'm making some sense here.
-Ice Star
I hope the side effects either somehow stop or become easier to handle/manage. I wish you the best of luck friend.
May things only get better.
You make perfect sense. I do hope everything works out for you. Can't be fun having to deal with all of this.
I'm glad to hear at least some things are better and that you're writing more again
Lisps are the worst, though
So sorry to hear you're having such a rough time of it. It's good to hear you're improving, but here's hoping you're back to your normal self soonest.
Thinking of you.
5057374
They are! It was astonishing to hear mine again, at least at that severity.
5057278
I don't think they'll stop entirely because meds are bitch, but if they can just stay where they are now it'll be good.
5057297
whats fun
5057649
Thank youu. Same here; slow and steady wins the race or whatever but it's frustrating.
5057710
Well ltet's hope for that then