Someday, I'm gonna learn to be better about my word choice. · 1:46am Apr 22nd, 2019
Okay, I just want to take a second to clarify something from my previous journal.
Mine was not the standard, supposedly normal life growing up. I have a sibling, but as folks who have paid attention to my stories and journals can attest, ours was not a normal relationship owing to him being special needs. It's hard to have a relationship with your younger brother when they're at the low-functioning end of the autism spectrum. Couple that with me not having many friends (and the few friends I did have tending to either be the youngest kids or the only kids in their families), and the only sibling relationships I tended to see were on TV. Consequently, I tend to not think of good things when I think of the phrase 'sibling rivalry'. I saw the 'sibling supreme' competition in Sparkle's Seven, and my mind went to a place that clearly wasn't intended by the showrunners or anyone involved in the production of the series, and that was entirely on me. But as a consequence of my elaborating upon my thoughts and the reaction to same, I'm feeling like absolute crap. Hence, this journal.
I hate being the depressive sort. I hate going online and seeing responses to something I've posted on one site or another, or hearing someone yell for me at home or at work, and my first thought being, "What have I fucked up this time?". A person shouldn't have to worry about that, and yet, here I am.
So yeah, for what it's worth, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I'm sorry if I've pissed anyone off. Wasn't intended, wasn't purposeful, wasn't the goal. And I really hope that I'll feel better after a decent night's sleep, because the last thing I need is to feel miserable with myself right now.
I only get genuinely upset when people double down on claiming competition leads to evil and other such nonsense.
Don't worry about it, dude. You're all good.
5047875
I appreciate that, thank you.
5047876
I never said that, and I'm certainly not stupid enough to believe it. And thanks for that. I just tend to be a worrywart is all. Feels like people get angry at me at the drop of a hat over everything some days, and that's something I can do without.
Sorry you feel that way, man. If you need to talk at all, I'm here.
And about that blog post from before, it's all good man. ^_^
5047889
Appreciated, thanks. I'm feeling a little better now, in any case. Might've just needed to vent.