I can't even make up a witty blog title for this one because it's just too mind-numbingly stupid.

So this morning I'm playing a little bit of Splatoon before getting up for the day, and Ranked is set on Clam Blitz. Which is awesome, because I play defense, so Clam Blitz is a nice way to get the brain firing and ease into the day.

Of course, it's not always sunshine and roses--I've mentioned before that some players don't "get" the whole concept of playing defense. At all. But today, I ran into something a whole hell of a lot stranger.

I don't think this guy understands how Clam Blitz works.

Like...at all.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game and in need of an explanation:

Imagine you're playing goalkeeper in a soccer match. Imagine you're standing there, tending goal, trying to keep your eye on the game, when one of your own teammates runs over, pulls out an Uzi, and starts unloading dozens of rounds at the goal. Not at the players, officials, ball, spectators, or anything there's any logical reason to shoot at, but the actual bit of metal and plastic and net that you're supposed to kick the ball into. And he's not even shooting up the other side's goal, but the one you're defending.

That is basically what's going on here.

I just...I can't even figure out what the hell this guy is on. Yikes.

Comments

[Mystical Rainboom]

I imagine you’re like Ranked Up, right? So it’s a mystery how they got that far without understanding the rules.

Unless they got dizzy and mixed up goals and colors or something, which is a lot more rare. XD

[MythrilMoth]

5042713
I'm Rank C on Clam Blitz (almost made B- but had an EPIC string of bad luck), so I do get C- players sometimes.

[Venerable Ro]

I blame Crota.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

Wow.

[Mystical Rainboom]

5042714
Oh, well that would explain some of it

[Ze1a7in]

From what I've heard, Clam Blitz is supposedly the universally disliked mode. You in all honesty could have got someone who hates Clam Blitz enough to try and sabotage his own team. Because even a retard who wants to win would have realized after about a minute straight of shooting your barrier that it wasn't what they were supposed to be doing. The only explanation I can see to explain his actions is he just wanted to sabotage the team.

[Mystic Deadman]

Throwers exist in every team game. Seems like that's what he was doing here.

[MikiStenbeck]

as my dear gnome overlord and (saltmine owner, that’s what he calls himself,) The Mighty Jingles over on youtube says;

• teammates so bad, they are incapable of finding their own arse in the dark with the aid of a map, a flashlight, and written instructions,

• He received a rush of shit to the brain,

  • Teammates so bad they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

  and finally;

  • Fucking window-licking retard

  do i need to say more?