A little bit more SAPR · 7:51pm Apr 9th, 2019
So, a few people over at Spacebattles thought that the gang should have been able to derail the train, either using Pyrrha's powers or just their own skills, even after Sunset destroyed the controls. I didn't want to do a wholesale rewrite (because I still love the kernel of that scene and what it says about Sunset) but I've changed the scroll thing (another thing not everybody liked) so that Cinder is now speaking over a tannoy-like system intended to let trains and stations communicate, so Sunset doesn't have to stop and answer the phone; I've added a little more to demonstrate that Sunset was actually reluctant to push the button anyway, something that I didn't make entirely clear before now, and when the question of derailing the train comes up Blake points out that this will kill not only them but all the faunus still on the train behind them, because Blake is the embodiment of 'ambivalent feelings towards her past, the White Fang, and its membership'.
Please check it out.
You shouldn’t have to do all these rewrites. I’ve enjoyed all your previous versions so far.
I read the changes and I admit that is as good as the previous version, still I agree that you should avoid do reewrites. It can be confous for people who didnt read de changes.
You do you. Love the story. Listen to criticism, but only to a point. Trust your own creative direction a little more. You're worrying me a little with how much your talking about changing plot points due to criticism.
Cool, I didn’t know you were on SpaceBattles. Interestingly, it was RWBY that got me reading on their, thanks to Nanosuits and Soul Magic, and later For Those We Cherish. Of course, it was MLP that got me into fanfiction years before then.
Although I agree with being leery about the rewrites the new version does make it just that much better imo. I think you wouldent have made the changes if you dident think there was some validity to them, and it doesent change the corse of the story at all just improves the overall consistency of the charicters. Good job with the story love
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Now that you've said it I'm going to bear that in mind too, and cut back on it.
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Do you ever plan on going to other stories like Truth of the Heart?
Until you posted this, I didn't realize that SAPR was on Spacebattles as well. Have you thought about adding this story to the Spacebattles Bronies group?