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LyraAlluse


I am a professional writer, artist, musician, website builder, and app developer. I have a Tip Jar for those who might be interested.

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Apr
8th
2019

An Important Announcement: I Am Also The Queen Of Mars · 11:17pm Apr 8th, 2019

An Important Announcement: I Am Also The Queen Of Mars

As many of you are aware, I am already the Queen of Antarctica. And I have put a lot of thought into ruling my country.

However, what you might not yet be aware of is that I am also the ruler of Mars! NASA won't acknowledge me as the queen of Mars though, as they claim, 'space belongs to everyone'. Yeah well...Mars belongs to me. <_< So NASA needs to get off my lawn.

I have some complaints to NASA which I would like to detail here.

1. Stop sending land rovers to my planet. I paid good money for it. I can't keep getting handfuls of treasure out of the underground treasure vault to pay for Martian road repair. If you want to pay for Martian road repair, then you can legally obtain a permit to send up your land rovers. Otherwise, kindly get off of my lawn.

2. Stop planing cities to build on Martian soil, when my people already dwell here. We do not want to be colonized. However, anyone is welcome to visit or come to live on our planet longterm. You just have to ask. Stop barging in uninvited.

3. Stop studying Mars with your space probes. They keep crashing into out spaceships and that costs money to fix. Obtain a permit so we can give you areas to send up your probes, unobstructed.

4. If you do not comply with these simple requests, we will have to do what us Martians do best; write angry letters to your government's leaders until they listen to us.

Thank you for listening to this message from me, the Queen of Mars (and surrounding moons/ space) and Antarctica (as well as the surrounding islands).

Best regards.

And to everyone else, thank you for reading this most important update. Have a great week.

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Comments ( 29 )

Noted, Majesty :pinkiehappy:

5041208 Thank you so much, dear friend. Your support is very much appreciated. :heart:

But.... John Carter beat you by about 100 or so years.

I knew it.

I think they made this song to hide the truth

5041212 That is part of our planet's past. Later, we evolved past the need for rulers. The exception to this rule is me because I happened to buy it off of a traveling planet dealer for five cents, which technically made me the Queen of the planet. But otherwise, Martians pretty much do whatever they want. My ruling style is very laid back. In return for letting me rule their planet, the Martians have requested that I keep it safe by utilizing my level gazillion waffle mage superpowers. It all works out, one way or another,

5041213 It's all liesss. I'm the reigning Queen of Mars. <_< NASA is trying to hide the truth with false propaganda hidden in children's television shows.

5041217
But I surpass you.... for I have waffle AND bacon mage powers!

5041222 Ah, a bacon and waffle mage. It is always good to meet a waffle mage who also dabbles in the bacon arts. I have dabbled in bacon magery, however, I have found that being a waffle mage is my true calling. I am about to surpass the level of gazillion and really hone in on my waffle powers. I wish you luck on your quest of becoming a most esteemed waffle/ bacon mage.

5041226
Ooooh. You poor child.... I am about to hit The Andromeda limit for Bacon magic.

5041228 That's wonderful news. :) Good luck on your mage test.

*interplanetary invasion in preparation*

Correction: GET OFF OF OUR HOLY LAND HERETIC

5041619 You want to invade Mars? :0 Oh mai.

5041711 Technically I bought Mars off of a traveling planet dealer for five cents, so that makes me the Queen by default. However, I let all of the other Martians do whatever they want on the planet. In exchange for being queen, I protect the planet with my Level Gazillion Waffle Mage powers. XD Also, I appreciate the Warhammer reference. :')

You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Supreme executive power is mandated from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony!

5041816 Oh. Well shame on them. They should learn to work and play well with others. <_<

5042014 The Martians like that I am in charge, though, I protect their planet with my level gazillion waffle mage powers. :rainbowkiss:

5042124
Coexistence is not on the table. All shall comply and fall in line. Prepare the rockets.

5042478 I'll just feed them to our army of Dragons. We have those. They are useful for such situations. XD

5042705
I thought dragons needed oxygen

5042807 Mars has oxygen. Although we have built most of the infrastructure of cities underground, we do have some top surface areas that have buildings as well. We like to confuse NASA by sending back samples which show low readings of oxygen to discourage them from trying to build on our planet. Alas, they keep sending up those land rovers and satellites so we'll have to think of some other solutions soon.

5043104
A more permanent solution seems needed

5043363
send back some horrifying footage that would be nightmare fuel for even hardened creepypasta writers

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