A man is driving home, thinking about beating his wife. Along the way, he passes a turtle. I am that turtle.
Oh hey how's that BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP you're working on~?
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!
Haha, What~?
THAT WAS A WELL KEPT SECRET BETWEEN FOUR PEOPLE.
...Uh.
WHO ARE YOU, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
Would you believe me if I told you I had no memory of where I got this information and I thought it was public knowledge?
NONE OF THOSE FOUR KNOW YOU, EVEN AS A PASSERBY, ARE YOU A WIZARD?!
N- no, really, I uh, UHHHHHHHHHHH-
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Can bananas live until 30?
You’re building a deck, aren’t you?
5036920
*dies*
5036987
A wat? Also, I fricken love that profile pic!