April Fool's too · 2:54pm Mar 29th, 2019
Still curious about Bean going all in with the Princesses?
I bet you are.
I bet you're wondering how it all happens. What did Bean do to get himself into this mess?
Well, here's a hint for you. :)
* * ✹ * *
Operation Flee Screaming From Nightmare Moon ended before it began when her magic snagged him, hoisted him into the air, and then slowly began to reel him in.
“How dare you intrude upon my sanctuary!” Nightmare Moon thundered. “Have you no respect for your Princess?! Do you not fear the Moon?!”
I’m dead, I’m dead, I’ve died and I’m dead and I’m going to be drawn and quartered and turned into glue. Maybe she’ll be nice and banish me to the moon, but she’ll probably just snap my neck and be done with it.
“I’m so sorry!” Bean wailed while he floated ever closer to those glowing draconic eyes. “It was all an accident, really! Just let me go, and you’ll never see me again! I won’t say anything to anypony, and—”
“Cease your infernal sniveling, you coward!”
Bean clamped his lips tightly together and simply focused on breathing while Nightmare Moon took several long moments to evaluate him. He had gone beyond panic, far past screaming, and into a strange floating kind of world where things made sense in only a sideways fashion. There was a word for it that escaped him at the moment... surreal, that was it. He'd have to write it down when this was all over, except he would have to go back through that terrifying place of screaming again and it would probably slip his tiny mind in the process.
“You are a rather homely looking thing, aren’t you?” Nightmare Moon said at last. “But not altogether unattractive. While I do not approve of such a sunny yellow coat, your mane does resemble my blessed night.”
“It’s more of an mocha color. Maybe earth-brown,” he said, but then he cringed when her eyes narrowed. “Um, but that really doesn’t matter.”
“If I want your opinion, I shall give it to you. Until then, I suggest you remain silent.”
Baked Bean followed her advice and simply nodded.
“Good. Tell me, cur, how did you come to a knowledge of the Elements of Harmony, and how did you utilize them to release me?”
“Is that what those are?”
“You would also do well to address me as ‘Your Highness,’ cur. I am still your Princess.”
“Deepest apologies. Sorry, Your Majesty. I mean Highness. Won’t happen again. Honest.”
Nightmare Moon grunted. “You claim you have no knowledge of this place, or of these things?”
“Honest to Ce—” Bean nearly bit his tongue when he hit the brakes on his words as quickly as he could, entranced by her glittering oval eyes in such a deep shade of teal that he was at a loss on how to describe them, should he ever survive this meeting. “Um, I mean, honest. I just wanted to see what this old castle looked like. Nopony has been here for hundreds of years.”
Nightmare Moon studied him intently once more, and Bean waited for the death beam to surge out of her horn and incinerate him right where he floated. “Your eyes show that you speak the truth. Hm.” She then dropped the hapless stallion, and she turned to consider the ruins of her old home with a slight and welcome reduction in her radiated fury. “Could you not bear the guilt, Sister? How predictable. You flee at the first sign of trouble, unable to truly deal with the problems that beset you. While you were always weak, I have grown stronger, and you shall rue the day you dared to defy me.
“And as for you,” Nightmare Moon whirled and jabbed a hoof at the slowly retreating Bean, who yelped in fear. “I suppose a reward is in order. It appears you did free me from my prison, and I am not without heart.”
“That is very generous of you, Your Highness. If you’ll just let me go, I’ll—”
Bean was crushed in Nightmare Moon’s magical grasp and hauled up to her face so rapidly that his nose brushed up against hers. “Do you take me for a fool?!”
“Not at all,” he wheezed with what little air was left in his lungs.
Nightmare Moon sneered. “No, you have seen too much, and you would warn my Sister with all possible haste. You will not be going anywhere.” Her sneer lessened along with her tight magical grip, and the dark princess looked him over again, from nose to tail, with a disturbingly contemplative expression.
“However, you are a young and fit stallion, strong of limb and—” her dark magic opened his mouth and she looked inside “—good teeth, straight and clean. As a reward for your good fortune, I believe you will be able to provide us with a vastly important service. You should be honored that I, your Princess of the Night, have decided that you should be so favored, and you shall have comforts beyond your wildest dreams, should you happen to excel in this task.”
“What…” Bean did not want to finish asking the question, but he could tell he had to by the hard glint in her eye. “Um... what service would that be?”
Nightmare Moon smiled, and a deadly coo of delight hissed out from between narrowed lips. “An heir. Perhaps two, if you please me. After all, it has been a long time. Doubtless, my Sister hath corrupted my prior progeny, and I will need to begin anew to build up my glorious kingdom in the proper manner."
He’s doomed.
5034650
66.media.tumblr.com/15b3a694fcca7d765c744d44125d6d47/tumblr_p47f6fSjHL1u581d1o1_400.gif
Death by snu-snu I see ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
*insert Sulu here*
OK, is this really an April Fool's joke? First of all, it's too early, and second, I really wanna see this as a full on story.
5034693
I can assure you that it is a full chapter, with plans for more.
5034698
So is this going to be some kind of Elseworlds story? Like where we go through scenarios for all the other princesses? Or is it just Nightmare Moon?
I can just hear nm (or any princess other than cadence) (*or cadence too*) saying: Ara ara~ bean-chan
5034704
I'm not saying. You'll have to wait and see.
5034709
Or, as Zen and Ponies likes to say while he's editing:
Bow Chicka wow wow.
I do not want, but I so totally want. To run away frantically, but to stay put and grin manically.
A moment of impasse from a scare-roused soul.
Dial back the neediness Nightmare Moon.
5034761
It'll be glorious. Trust me.
5034762
But she needs her Bean! *sniff*
Oh god.
5034797
Well, goddess, technically.
Warning! Warning! Royal Boop detected! Alert! Alert!
Moorrrrre please! This is hilarious, exciting, and wonderful!!! Hopefully we will get more than one chapter. :)
5034698
It is a April Fools joke
5037027
Yes, but it is one that shall be added upon! More chapters are in the works as we speak! Ha ha ha!
5037030
But its not cannon, no herds in the original, right?
5037032
True, true. No herds in No Nose, or the sequels. Just a Bean and his Celestia.
So, yes. Harem Noses is an April Fool's joke of the original. :)
5037039
Okay, now I feel better. Thank you for clarifying this for me.
5037039
So when are Bean and Celestia going to have foals?
5037107
Well, the typical gestation period for horses is about 11 months, and Celestia is about one month along, give or take.
Actually, once I get done with Principal Noses, I'll start the story of Celestia's pregnancy and write it while writing Harem Noses too. It's ambitious, but I think I can do it. :)
5037116
Well I vote for twins, twice the cuteness to love
5037116
So will they be fillies or colts?
5037129
I'm not telling. You'll have to wait and see.
5037209
Well I can't wait to see