Y'all Need to Talk Your Shit Out · 5:02pm Mar 6th, 2019
Before I start this, let me preface this shit by stating the following: This blog is directed at none in particular, but rather, I set of behaviors frequently expressed on this site. But don't think it's just here motherfucker—this line of action and thinking is common everywhere in the world.
We got that out of the way? Good. Now, using 'you' not to mean actually you, but rather, this imagined person of these behaviors, we will now begin the blog.
Y'all need to talk your shit out.
Do you know how often I run into motherfuckers that got beef with someone else? Every fucking day my man. And why shouldn't I? People are free to dislike each other however much they please. There is no law—but maybe a moral one—that dictates you should be fair to your fellow person.
Do you know what the result of this is? People talking shit behind each other back, creating a fuss against a pierced attack against them, or a homie outright bailing on his niggas without stating why. (No. I don't mean you. Hope all is well and all that).
To bring structure to this blog, allow me to follow along a line for a second. This fandom, if I had to assume, holds a lot more sensitive people than usual—and that's okay! Some of us are not exactly the most sociable. But that's hardly a fault that should be blamed on a person.
Where the issues of 'not talking shit out' comes in is not because of some action, but rather, because of this person's reaction. Please note I am not excusing bad behavior, or wicked shit, or anything like that. All I'm says is that, for the moment, focus only on the stuff that's within your control.
And that, my friends, happens to be your reactions. If not straight away, at least after the fact.
So. We have a group of friends in a Discord server, right? Three people shooting the shit and all that. Suddenly, person one says or does something that person two doesn't like. But! But but but! They keep it to themselves.
There are many reasons they do this. They may be unable to call this person out due to a lack of tact or courage. Or maybe they tell themselves such a remark actually didn't bother them, that they're above it, that what was said or done didn't affect them.
Let me be the first to say that this doesn't work.
Most of us like to think we're stronger than we look. Those more insecure will feel the need to compensate for themselves, taking slings and repressing them, pretending they can handle that shit when they can't—prime word. Can't.
We're dealing with the people who can't take the heat but still pretend like they can. Bad feelings and terrible words echo within their soul. They expand from inside their bodies, beating against the inside of their skin, desperate to explode outward.
Thus, we have the cause of negative energy. Because a person has repressed themselves, either by how they are treated, or what is done in a group, or whatever—the causes are infinite—they now need an outlet for their emotions.
The use and creation of art help here. That energy gets put to good use: creation. But I don't think it's enough. The person who has wounded you continues to do so, in your mind, and thus the hatred rises.
Your remarks become more passive-aggressive. You become more distant when they try to reach out. Every ask of “Are you okay?” is met with your “I'm fine.” while you're seething on the inside. Then things grow worse.
You start to talk about what they did to other people. This is only good, wanting you get your initial rage and such out, because then you can be more logical about what you feel—then reflecting, as objectively as you can, on what happened.
But let's be frank: that shit doesn't happen around here often. You have fucking retards going to their friends, whining about what happened, taking a grain of rice and expanding it into a hot air balloon, and then acting all swell when that person comes back.
What a twist this has become! This person, at first thinking they could handle what someone said or did, now plots against them. Passive. Distant. Snaking. This person, because they felt something bad, now seeks to inflict, even in some distant way, the same thing on the original person.
People. People! Grow the fuck up. Most of you are teenagers and adults. If you are feeling something bad because of what someone did, for fuck's sake, talk to them! Do you know how many conflicts I've resolved by talking to someone, putting what I felt on the table, only for them to apologizes and say their intent was not to harm?
Think about that for a second! Some of us are taking offense from slings that weren't even meant to be hurtful! By talking to this person, they would set the story straight, and knock that shit down whenever you're around.
People like to pretend that those hurt, in these cases, are victims. That it all goes to the guy who said and did the thing. My answer? No, it doesn't, shmuck. Unless in extreme cases, the moment it becomes totally the other person's fault is when, after you approach them, they continue to be cunts.
Then, and only then, when you have tried your best. When you have talked to that person. And they continued to be pricks they truly are such. But you repressing cunts who think themselves nobles by becoming snakes are fucking dumb.
Cut this fake ass drama shit. How many blog wars (fucking dumb name) could have been stopped by two motherfuckers, cooled off, trying to talk to one another? Most are afraid to talk to the other, so they resort to passive shit—rendering this a passive fandom.
This blog is full of rambles and doesn't hit my point home. Sorry. Been in a weird place lately, and writing these stream of consciousness like blogs help. But as Fimfiction's residential dick (or bitch), I feel the need to embrace my title.
So, what have we learned today, kids? If you have a problem with someone—talk to them. Do your best to hash it out. Do not let misinterpretation ruin a friendship or a reputation. Yes, there is a chance you misunderstood someone. Attacking them because of this is fucking dumb.
How do you find out if you misunderstood? It won't work a hundred percent, but, it's the best way I know so far: Talk to the fucking person! Give your points, backed by your feelings, thoughts, and reasons, and then have them restate it. They will do the same in return. You will either hash shit out, great; or you will end up hating each other, great.
Both of you can move the fuck on and do whatever.
My goal with this blog is nothing beyond talking to the other person about your problems. The original offender gets a lot of flack for starting shit, but in return, maybe a bigger deal back without a just reason.
How you then treat that person, or talk about that person, or whatever can be more damaging than the original offense. Stop being fake or thinking you can take shit you can't. Take a deep breath. Get your shit sorted. Then talk to the person.
Y'all need to stop being pussies.
Jesus fucking Christ.
That was an interesting one. It went places. To me, it sounds like a bunch of loosely connected rambles. One day I'll return to this subject with a proper structure. For now, however, I leave this post with rambles alone.
We can't always count on the other person to be good to us. What's important is to do everything within your control. If you have the desire to be friends with someone, then you need to learn how to hash shit out. You can't control chaos, but you can control your reaction to it.
Even if you don't want to be friends with someone—have the respect, should they care about you, to give your farewell. State your reasons and then dipski. You don't have to, but it makes you a better person if you do.
As for me? I'm going to continue being a dick cuz it's fun. You don't have to take it if you don't want to. None are forced to be my friends. But for fuck's sake, if you're going to hang out, bring up that shit that bothers you.
And try to do it at a decent time as well, all right?
Peace niggas.
Yes
You said the N word you can’t say the N word *says in a nasally voice* nice i like this blog because it got real really fast slow on the making point but fast on the be real shit a Nigga to another Nigga i gotta say your the MVP
Where is the beef? I hungery.
5023992
I was given the black card for fives more uses.
5023998
Take five more uses for being real shit
5024000
Danks.
5024003
Your welcome
Dealing with this at work.
Sometimes people are more content with being mad than they are about actually doing something about it.
5023998
Hell, I'm black and I don't care for using the "N" bomb. I prefer "Bitch"! It's my universal word!
But, your right. People need to talk there shit out. I'm 33 years young, had conflict with other people I'm my short life, and never really had to "Throw hands" or "Reach for something", just talked that shit out then and there, or walked always and came back later when shit cooled down and then talked it out.
It does work!
DL;DR
don't be a dick
life's too short to hold a grudge
staying angry is letting them win
After reading this, I can pin the reasons why those choose to hold resentment towards others, whether they themselves are aware of it or not, and whether the other person is deserving of said resentment:
1. Talking things out requires more immediate effort. The great thing about not talking things out, is that there is no end in sight. No way to know when the story ends. Even if holding a grudge would take much more out of you, it would do so slowly, like an infection slowly killing you on the inside, while keeping the exterior largely unchanged for the most part. We as a species tend to not see the bigger picture. We perceive events one at a time, and even if in the back of our mind we're aware of the bigger image, we still feel the sting of things as they happen. A snide comment here, some passive aggressiveness there, all at doses too low to ring any alarms. A confrontation, on the other hand, presents a large immediate threat. Regardless of how either party fares off in the end, the conflict will be resolved once the talk is over. It's the scary anti-biotics injection that people tell themselves they don't need, because really? Have things truly reached this point where a talk is needed?
2. It puts you in the position of being judged by others. Whether it's 'having too sensitive skin' or 'not being able to take a joke', we—or at least this is what I notice—hate making a scene about things that the collective (which in this context refers to all other persons outside the self) perceives as non-trivial. There are a multitude of reasons why someone would want to avoid judgement; living up to a projected public image, fitting in with others, an innate desire to avoid confrontation, etc. Bottom line is unless we know exactly what the reception will be, people hate being put under the spotlight.
I end by saying that absolutely none of this has been proven. It is all merely speculation on my part and what I've drawn in my interactions with the world.
Agree, mate. Don't take my short comment for one of those " *paragraph paragraph paragraph * ' k ' " things, for I think this rant is perfectly valid and I have nothing more to say because you already said it.
Wow it’s like talking a problem out before it balloons is something grown people should be able to do. But in all seriaousness yeah I get this, sadly I have a lot of people around me who could use this lesson, by basically doing the whole blowing things up without actualy talking the issue out and just being toxic people to be around and lately it’s been dragging me down and I’ve been isolating myself from them. I honesty should take this advice and talk to them about this so thanks fimfic resident dick.
I feel you. This sums up morning shift quite nicely at my workplace, but most people there, including me, just ignore it. Let them have their own bubble, as long as they aren't actually fucking us over.
That sounds eerily familiar. The Internet teaches you that, if you have a problem with something, you have a problem and that's that, it's YOU who is at fault. That's not how things work out though, at least not if you want to hold onto anyone for some unimaginable reason.
It's much worse when people do that irl though. So much worse, yet they still do it and feel vindicated when passive-agressively responding to a percieved slight. I wish more people would realise the simple answer to that.
Why would you do that? Why would you use that hated word?
5025655
cuz