The Belated Valentine's Day Update

In Mid-January, I said I was going to get these two chapters out by the end of the month. Then I got busy with school. This time I won't make the same promise because I doubt I'll keep it.

Or rather, I shouldn't be blaming time, as I could always free up more of it if I truly wanted to. Motivation is my real problem. I keep trying to split my time between this and other projects in my life, and this story always gets put on the backburner. I have plenty of ideas for where I want this story to go, but actually taking the time to write it all out is a lot less fun than simply thinking about them. I've also had second thoughts on whether this story is even worth me taking the time and effort to write it, especially since I anticipate moving on from the fandom in possibly the near future. I think I've made a lot of mistakes in earlier chapters and want to go back and rewrite them, but there's also the need to continuously put out new chapters or else the story will never get finished. I've toyed with the possibility of rewriting the entire story so it's much shorter, like actual diary entries, which I anticipate would greatly quicken the writing speed and allow me to finish the story by the end of the year, or even by July if I start now and commit to it. From there, I could always flesh out the story by adding more parts over time. Another option I've considered is just dropping this story entirely and writing some of my ideas for sequels. One such project, which I've given the working title Nuclear Summer, is, despite being highly derivative and somewhat cliche, might intrigue readers a lot more than the melancholic ramblings of a cynic. Being a sequel, it would inform readers of the highlights of Nuclear Winter's second half without having to go through the slog that is the first half. Another idea is to just rewrite Nuclear Winter entirely to cut off the first half and "cut to the chase," though I would have to think of a new way to begin the story.

There's also the growing temptation to just end this project and move on with my life. And yet, I keep coming back to this little world I've created, again and again. I think I've been using this story as an emotional crutch for the past five years or so, and I can't tell whether or not it's best to end it and move on or keep going until I complete it. The only thing I can say is that I've sunk far too much of my time and energy into this to simply walk away. The least I could do is to write down all the notes I've been carrying around in my head so that it isn't forgotten. And maybe I'll even post them here on this blog and offer my ideas to the world. Even if nobody reads it, the simple act of publishing them in any form I consider to be my solemn duty.

P.S.: Talking about killing something you love is certainly against the spirit of Valentine's Day, isn't it?
P.P.S.: The story's almost as long as 'Pink Eyes.' After I write and publish the 20th chapter, it will officially become longer, but contain far less substance.