Stuff · 9:23pm Feb 16th, 2019
There is always that one unrepeatable moment.
You know the one.
The moment in which everything comes together. The moment when the bell tolls, the people gather, the thought is voiced. The moment you wish could last forever, as you listen to the wise speaker, as you sit in companionship with those you would call friend. As you exist, and become, and be. The moment that can never repeat, however much you wish otherwise.
The moment you will miss, and wish to recapture, for the rest of your life.
I'm old enough to have had more than a few of these. Galacon. That one day at Bronytcon with the typewriters and the rain.A barbeque with my friends from PEEL. The perfect gathering of my friends from the simpsons fandom. A single hour, in which my classmates and I swam in a pool beneath a waterfall in wales. A beach on which I built the perfect replica Alnwick Castle on a rock on Sugar Sands beach in Northumberland when I was 12.
All these moments, Roy Batty said, to be lost, like tears in rain.
One of the myriad emotions I have tried to convey in my writing is that of loss, of the passage of, if not time, then experiential existence. Of the knowledge of that room, brightly lit, that the sparrow traverses between two eternities of darkness. Each thing we remember is a moment that cannot repeat, a moment that we cannot anticipate, but that thrusts itself upon our experience regardless, and enlivens us, and leaves us longing erver more as we plunge into a life beyond and without that bright second.
I miss the friends I made. I know they will be there, but I miss them nonetheless. I miss tnuk and zed 85. I miss evergreen terrace and simpson moon. I miss...
A lot. Kirk's never-ending romance. The dudes from the dwarf. The fucking christian cowboy for which I wrote fanfic in year 9. The bunyip and that kid, the pirate and the coin.
I miss a lot.
I want to keep conveying these feelings, but the words are fractious, fleeting, Beyond my grasp. I want to finish for your sake, because you deserve it. Because you followed me for this, wherever it might lead. I want to finish.
I don't know how.
I'm drunk, and I'm sorry.
*hug* Wish I could offer more than words on a screen.
5014688
People like you, I would have as my neighbours if I could. That's the problem with this whole internet thing. I make friends and companions that I can only talk to at a distance, and meet less often than some simile that escapes me right now.
But I thank you for that.
*hugs*
I had my first moment like that thanks to the Brony fandom. I had a close group of friends during my last three years of highschool, and MLP was one of the many things that we all enjoyed. I haven't spoken with them in four years now, not for a lack of trying either.
Like FanOfMostEverything said, I wish I could do more than give words of encouragement. Even though we have quite possibly never spoken before, (I can't quite remember as I've been absent from the site for a little over two years) I hope you stay well!
Even after you sober up, we'll all still be your friends. You're a fun guy, and you're warm even to people who haven't known you very long. Nothing says more about a person than the impression they leave on others, and you've made a big one.
I think you're a cool person, Archonix.
Don't worry, I'll never leave you.
I miss the days when any of the many many Xenophilia fics actually got updates. Divided rainbow was the last survivor but even that seems to have been abandoned. Another amazing story that will never have an ending.
Would that I could upvote blogs here and offer something other than platitudes from a keyboard worlds away. Still, it's all about the journey, isn't it? Would one forsake it all to make it bearable?
We
u, u big ol' ginger ass
I love ya, ya wonderfully British Galoot, and though we're separated by an Ocean and don't talk often, I always enjoy seein you and those few moments we have cause to talk both in person and online <3
And yea. I get that sentiment. Of my best friends, the absolute physically closest is still a 7-8 hour car drive away. Most live on the other side of the country or on other continents.
Hopefully see ya in Baltimare this year