Two Short Life Stories · 12:47am Feb 15th, 2019
Hey, all! The following stories don't really have anything to do with... anything, really. They're just small moments that had a meaningful impact on me. I wanted to find some way to share them, but each individual one wasn't enough to make a post on its own, so... here you go.
Story 1:
Back in December, I flew out to visit my parents for Christmas. On the way back, my trip consisted of two flights. Both flights, as it turned out, ended up being delayed by approximately thirty minutes. The big difference between the two was the way the delay was announced. On the first leg:
Attention, travelers going to X at Gate Y. Your flight will be leaving thirty minutes behind schedule, at ZZ:00. We apologize for the inconvenience, and we will work to prevent any further delays. Thank you.
Nothing particularly notable, right? Now here's how the announcement went at the second airport:
Attention, travelers going to X at Gate Y. The flight has been delayed by thirty minutes. The flight crew at Z Airport messed up getting your airplane off the tarmac, and they didn't clean it properly, so when it arrived, we ended up having to take extra time to wash it. Once we've got it cleaned like it was supposed to be back at Z, we'll be ready to begin boarding. Thank you.
These two messages so closely together made me realize an important concept I've been taught my whole life. Because look, I'm a millenial. I waited for twenty minutes once when McDonald's messed up my meal, and when the manager gave it to me for free to apologize for the wait, I responded with a blank expression. If I'm not in a hurry, delays aren't a big deal to me; I've got the Internet and whatnot to accommodate me. But the second announcement annoyed me to no end. It reeks of a desperate attempt to save face: "We're sorry your plane is late, but it wasn't our fault, so don't blame us! We're just as much the victims as you are." Whether or not that's true, it isn't really my business. If the flight's delayed, the flight's delayed. That's all I care about. I would rather you do your job, which is to try and get the airplane back in the air as quickly and as safely as possible, then whine to me about how you were wronged by airport Z.
For all we know, the first terminal had the same problem. Maybe the previous airport screwed up, or maybe it was their fault the plane couldn't leave in time. Maybe it was the weather, or maybe it was some other extenuating circumstance. I don't know, because the announcer didn't need to mention it. They simply owned up to the fact that they weren't able to depart on time, explained what they were planning to do to fix it, and worked to avoid future delays. As the consumer, I'm not "happy" my flight got delayed, but this kind of apology puts me a lot more at ease than the other. It makes me feel like the airport is bearing the responsibility of getting the plane ready for departure, rather than trying to pass the blame to somebody else.
So basically, ownership: ownership of the situation, ownership of the blame (even if it wasn't really your fault), and ownership of the solution. A group with no sense of ownership is like the second airport: desperate to make somebody else appear like the guilty party. It suggests to me that, if they're not willing to accept full ownership for the problem, they're not taking full ownership of the solution, meaning other delays might crop up. Now, I'm not saying you need to let the guilty party off scot-free, or let yourself become a martyr for every cause. But if you're a public company in the midst of a crisis, the last thing you or your customers need is airing out the dirty laundry or pointing fingers at one another. Step up, fix the problem now, then address the guilty party and take corrective action later.
Story 2:
I went to the dentist the other day for a checkup, and she reminded me none-too-subtly that my brushing and flossing habits weren't quite up to snuff. (My gums were hurting for the rest of the week.) She insisted I should be brushing and flossing at least once a day.
Now, brushing, I don't have a problem with, other than making sure I have enough time before going to bed to do it. Flossing, on the other hand, I've struggled with. Like, I've tried dozens of times to use regular floss, and I cannot get it to work. It's, whatever. Don't judge me! Anyways, I've tried to make it easier to floss by buying those little disposable floss bridge doohickeys. I have probably a couple hundred of 'em lying around in my bathroom, and they're super-convenient. All I have to do is pull one out of the bag, run it through my mouth, and throw it away.
And I still wasn't using them regularly. I'd brush my teeth, then instead of opening the bag and flossing, I'd head straight to bed. I usually didn't even think about it until the next day. Sometimes, I would remember, but most nights, I'd completely forget. I put the bag right on the sink, pointing the opening towards the sink, even kept the zip top open. Still wasn't using it regularly.
Then, on a whim, I thought, "What if I dumped them out of the bag and into a little Tupperware bucket?"
After that, I used one every night for the next week.
The issue the whole time? I didn't like the hassle of digging around in the bag to grab the next flosser. Because of that little itty-bitty inconvenience, I was neglecting a major part of my dental health. Remove that inconvenience, and suddenly it joined my brushing habit without an issue. Like, last night, I thought to myself, "Eh, I'm running late. I'm just gonna brush without flossing." But the moment I finished brushing, without even thinking, I went straight into the bucket, grabbed a flosser, and started flossing. Where before I'd deliberately intended to floss, then been unable to, here I was deliberately intending not to floss, only to end up flossing!
Okay, so probably most of you don't care about my dental hygiene. I get that. (I've probably also made the word "floss" lose all meaning on you. Sorry.) The point I got out of all of this, though, is the power those trivial inconveniences can have on your life and your habits. The habits you desperately want to form may be blocked by these obstacles, or the habits you want to break may be covered in immediate conveniences. It's already difficult enough to change one habit into another, but when the path ahead is laid out with all these roadblocks, the task becomes borderline impossible.
This, in part, is why I'm a little against all the self-help books touting discipline and self-control as the chief skills necessary for success. Like, they can be useful, don't get me wrong, but relying on discipline, especially if you don't have much of it like me, can lead you astray. I think an equal, if not more important, aspect of the problem is figuring out how to streamline and optimize your life so that, instead of needing to build discipline or have self-control, your desired actions just flow naturally. You can reach your goals by spending tons of willpower, or you can reach your goals without even thinking about them.
I know which method I prefer. 
But then again, I'm theorizing all of this from a new habit that only takes me, what, thirty seconds? I'm still working on how to apply this to more important stuff like: writing every day! diet and exercise! being a productive member of society!
so it's still a work in progress. 
