Tentative Hope · 7:57pm Feb 2nd, 2019
It's been nearly a month now since mom passed away. I've pretty much finished my grieving, though I still catch myself as I'm about to walk in her room and hug her and say good morning. I used to go bug her all the time, if for nothing else than to just give her a hug. Thinking about it now, I realize I didn't hug her nearly as often as I did during the months leading up to her death, and I find myself wondering if I somehow knew, somewhere in my soul, that I would soon not have the chance anymore.
My mom spoke to me about that, before she died. She said our family was cursed/blessed with something approaching precognition. Not true foresight, but more a feeling. I lived my early life having moments where I would get the mother of all deja vu, feeling like I had done something already, despite knowing I had never done it before. It seems to be focused on my dreams, as at times I'll have a dream that somehow nearly exactly mirrors something happening to a friend or loved one somewhere else.
I don't know if it's real or not. I've long outgrown the phase where I want magic to be real. I'm a bit of a realist and fatalist. I don't like getting my hopes up on the off chance something very rarely might go right. Besides, whatever this is isn't reliable, as I more often than not can't remember my dreams, nor do I ever feel anything more than a sense of familiarity. I am, however, grateful to it in this case. It's probably what led me to hugging her so much and saying I loved her. I know for certain my mother did not die feeling unloved.
Anyways, I'm writing this to let you guys know I'm poking at my stories again, and have even begun helping another author edit their work. It feels nice to be writing again. I also wish to inform you that I have begun work on a book. The title, at the moment, is Earth's Last Ember. I'm still developing the world of the book. I'm debating on whether or not I want a steampunk setting, or a modern day Earth setting. Maybe even late Medieval. I don't know yet.
That was something my mom wanted. She wanted me to write a book, knowing I was good at writing. Come hell or high water, I'm writing a book.
Thank you for being so understanding and patient.
You're welcome and my condolences for your loss.
It is good to see you feeling a bit better. I admit, I probably don't tell my mom that I love her as much as I should these days, which doesn't help when she lives in a completely different state than me. I should give her a couple call again soon. Best of luck with your writing projects, and take care.
Great to see you back again, hopefully you will get the drive to, not go back to the things as they werem,, but to appreciate your life and prove your mom's watching over you won't go to waste
It doesnt really get better, though it's been nearly five years now. Strangely the hurt feels comforting after a while. Sorry for your loss brother. Happy you're writing again.
Hey I hope everything going well and sorry for your lost i just saw this and im sorry to bug you lately man