The importance of being science positive · 7:31am Jan 18th, 2019
Moondancer popped into existence and only a few ponies were startled. She had been teleporting all over town, seeking out commotion or bedlam, and in doing so, noticed a curious magical wibble. It moved fast, possibly teleporting, and her magic senses told her that it was gaining strength, little by little.
“Why, hello there.”
She lifted her head, her ears pricked, and as she turned around, she saw Little Dipper. Loyalist, Royalist, member of the Urban Rescue League, qualified first aid giver, member of the Ponyville Chamber of Commerce, and the owner operator of a door-to-door cloth diaper service. Overall, an excellent citizen, and one that could be counted on in times of crisis.
He was also pulling a wagon full of soiled diapers.
“Hi.” After the perfunctory greeting, she added, “Say, have you been assaulted by a rampaging stink?” She saw his face wrinkle as he turned all of his attention upon her.
“No, can’t say that I have.”
“Would you like to be?” asked Moondancer, as her brilliant mind concocted a plan.
“Well, I hadn’t thought about it, really.”
Casting a sidelong glance at the wagon, Moondancer sniffed once. If he hadn’t yet been assaulted by the rampaging stink, he would be. Moondancer’s gut instincts told her that the different stinks that Maud had experienced had to be synthesised somehow, and probably came from natural sources. A wagon full of soiled diapers was pretty stinky—it was the kind of smell that was sure to bother some poor pony—and so it was, predictably, a good target.
If the stink came here, she’d be ready. Trusting in her gut instincts, she began casting a variety of protective spells upon herself and on Little Dipper. Then, she began casting a myriad of sensory spells, detection spells, and autonomous data collection probes. In perhaps her most brazen, most daring action, she enhanced her sense of smell so that she could better understand whatever it was they were facing. She was a skunk fancier. A skunk whisperer. Skunks were her passon, her love. She was in charge of the Skunkworks, Twilight Sparkle’s top secret science division.
She had no fear of stink.
“You and I, we’re going to do science, Little Dipper.”
“I’ve never done science with a mare before,” he replied.
“Don’t worry, It’s not hard. Just stay still and be my test subject. I’m not picky, I do science with everypony. Even foals. Foals are great to do science with because they’re so eager. Well, some of them. Most foals are kinda dumb, but they still make great test subjects.”
“Well, okay. I suppose I can do that.”
“Follow me,” she commanded.
“You just said to stay still,” he said in return.
Moondancer facehoofed and almost knocked her glasses off.
“Sorry. It’s my first time sciencing with a mare. I’m really nervous. Should I let go of my load?”
With a deadpan expression, Moondancer lifted her head and looked at Little Dipper.
“My wagon—”
“Is needed. Hold your load, for the sake of science. Your load is the entire reason why I need you. Your load is of particular interest to me, and is quite necessary for my scientific objective. Now follow me, we have a stink to find.”
Moondancer followed her nose. That is to say, she used her advanced sense of smell and her magic sense to home in on the stink, which was most certainly leaping from place to place. But the leaps seemed to be getting smaller, which she believed confirmed her theory that the stink was out collecting other stinks. She wondered if, perhaps, it was running out targets, or if it had just grown more focused on what was available.
She had a wagon full of stink that she hoped would lure in whatever this was. It wasn’t the smelliest thing in Ponyville, but the longer it sat in the sun, the riper it became. Right now, it was pretty darn ripe. A herd of ponies went stampeding past, but—so focused was she on her objectives—she ignored them.
“This science is kinda boring,” Little Dipper remarked.
“Science usually is rather boring,” she replied in an absent-minded manner. “But then, there are times when the unexpected happens, and it becomes quite exciting. Science is really boring if you do it alone. Thankfully, I have my eyebrow to keep me company, and I’m never alone.”
“I’ve never done science all alone. In fact, the last time I did any kind of science was in school. Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. The whole class was watching, and I was really, really nervous. I wanted to impress my teacher. There was a lot of performance anxiety.”
“Did you make the funny ‘I’m trying to make science’ face?”
“Yeah.” The unicorn pulling the wagon nodded and looked away. “My tongue sticks out when I’m sciencing real hard.”
“So does Princess Luna’s. Don’t feel bad. Be science positive and don’t be ashamed of your mental efforts. Enjoy the moment and let it happen.” Moondancer offered up a perfunctory smile, but Little Dipper had his head turned.
Chapter should be out tomorrow. I am working really, really hard to make it as cringy as possible.
"Do you mind if I sniff you?"
... you are a monster.