Fic Reviews: Time for Spike to Be a Kid · 6:12pm Jan 16th, 2019
Okay, time for another fic review. If that last one made you think, good for you. I like making people think. This one... Probably won't do so much. More after the break.
Yeah, it's one of those stories. These are absolute bullshit, and as I go through the review, I'll explain why.
Ponyville talent show!
Do you have a talent your good at? Do you want to show off your skills? Do you like muffins? Well come and show them off at the Ponyville talent show! It happens Next Friday at 5PM, you can sign in at town hall! Hurry, applications end next Thursday.By Dizty Doo
This poster was stuck to the wall of town hall, for all to see, and a pile of brochures next to the posters. Looking in awe of the poster, was baby dragon, purples scales, Green spikes and underbelly, carrying a scroll in his hand. His name was Spike, Twilight Sparkles number one assistant.
" I gotta tell Twilight!" Spike said as he grabbed a brochure and ran towards Golden Oaks Library.
Now, when Spike first arrived in Ponyville. Most didn't expect much of him. But as time went on they saw the dragon had strength and potential, and he was a very good, hard worker. He would always help them when they needed some help.
Spike rushed thought the busy Ponyville, waving to folks as they passed by and waved to him. He then arrived at Ponyville Library and busted in, he saw the mane six all sitting around a table drinking tea.
"Oh Spike, there you are!" Twilight said. The drake panted as he tried to talk.
"Twilight.'puff'. I. 'Puff'-"
"Oh, Spike. I need you to sort the books out. We did a bit of book hunting."
"And Spiky Wikey, could you go to the boutique and sort out the gems dear?" Rarity said, Twilight then levitated a quill, ink and paper.
"Yeah, can ya also pick up Scoots Scooter from the repair shop? And drop it off at there clubhouse." Dash said.
"And while ya there, can ya help Applebloom with little missy?" Applejack asked.
"Then can you pick up the cake Twins from Lyra and Bonbon? They were babysitting for me and the Cakes." Pinkie said.
"And, can you feed Angel...if you don't mind." Fluttershy said.
"Right, done. Here you go Spike!" Twilight said levitating to Spike, who had stopped panting and just had his law dropped.
"We're going to Canterlot for a while. Complete these in time and you can Join us there!" Twilight said as she and the mane six got up and left the building.
"Bye Spike!" Twilight said as the door closed. The drake just stared at the list with shrunken eyes. He stared at it until he finally sighed and looked at the mess of Books Twilight and the girls had made.
He slowly and carefully put the books away before sliding down the ladder and landing on the ground, he grabbed a nearby quill and ticked it off. He sighed before walking out the door and towards the boutique.
As he walked along, he noticed the mayor run up to him.
Okay, I admit I can convincingly see this happening in a conceivable manner. I mean, everyone has busy days right where the workload just piles onto them and they need a helping hand or whatnot. Few grammar errors, like Jaw being law instead for some reason and a few missing commas, giving this fic a really rushed appearance which is already detracting from my impression of it even more. And then there's Spike's opening description. We already know what he looks like for crying out loud, no need to get so detailed! Lavender Unicorn syndrome anyone?
The day goes on, and Spike completes the chores he's been asked to do. Simple as that, right? He slowly gets frustrated and tired, which is believable enough after a long day. I know I'd be, which does give this fic a tidbit of relatability.
As he burst through, he quickly grabbed the flier he had and was about to head out but he saw the girls were back.
"Oh hi Spike. We just got back. Good job, although you placed 'starswill the bearded spells Volume IV' with III." Twilight said.
"Anyway, can you clean up the mess we made this morning?" Twilight asked, without letting Spike talk. She then noticed the paper in his hand.
"What's this?" She asked as she grabbed it with her magic, Spike tried to stop her but she read it all before sighing.
"I'm sorry Spike, but you can't join. I need someone to watch the library while we join Princess Celestia there." Spike's jaw dropped.
"Well, were going to head to Sugarcube corner. Bye Spike." Twilight said as the girls left. Spike walked to the door and reached out to them. He slowly lowered his arm and fell to his knee's, with tears in his ears.
"Why?.."
He yelled into the sky.
"Why!?"
He then started to cry and sob. As he did, Applebloom and Big Mac who was still carrying the cart to the apple stand, Applebloom looked up at Big Mac. He nodded and pushed her into Spike's direction as she ran up to Spike and started to hug him. He hugged back as his tears fell down her shoulders.
Big Mac continued his way to the apple stand, where he dropped the cart and started to go around Ponyville. Spike needed help. And he would get it.
And now this is where the bullshit sets in. The girls? They actually outright said he can join them in Canterlot once he was done with his chores, never saying anything about any more of them. What the author has done, instead of making Spike look like he's throwing a temper tantrum or just being finally fed up has reduced the Mane Six to caricatures of their former selves. Or, at the very least Twilight. Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't Twilight know when a little work is just that bit much for someone in the end who is a kid? Listen, I get that's what this whole fic's trying to preach, Twilight not knowing this, but that's where this falls apart. In canon, Twilight does already know this, and never gives Spike a tremenous workload at least on purpose. She treats him reasonably, unlike a slave as this fic tries to portray as shown in chapter two.
with tears in his ears.
Also... what? Again, really rushed feeling here. This is basic shit right here, how can you screw this up you goddamn fool of a writer? Oi vey...
The meeting.
Spike wiped his eye from a tear as he stopped hugging Applebloom.
"Will ya be okay Spike?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm a tough dragon. I'll make it through." Spike said, Applebloom still gave him a concerned look.
"Are ya sure?"
"Yeah, yeah." He said.
"Alright-but ya know ah'm not to far away." She said, giving him a quick hug before running to her apple stand.
After a while and as Spike had finished cleaning the table, he heard a knock on the door. He opened it to see Big Mac standing there.
"Hey Big Mac, what are you doin' here."
Big Mac just signalled him to follow him. As he turned and left, Spike did just that. He followed until they arrived at a building a music note on it, along with a sign saying 'intruders will be blown away by a bass cannon'. Big Mac entered first followed by Spike.
Inside, Spike saw a bunch of ponies, some he had already seen today. There was Lyra, Bonbon, Mayor Mare, Mr and Mrs.Cake, Dizty Doo, and Vinyl Scratch.
"So why'd you call us here Big Mac?" Bonbon asked.
"Well ah saw Spike here cryin' his eyes out after mah sister and her friends left. Ah wanted to know why he was. And as he has helped y'all one way or another, ya might wanna know to." He said as he moved away to reveal a blushing Spike.
"Why'd you say I was crying?" Spike asked Big Mac.
"Because you were." He said with a smile.
"Wait, why were you crying?" Lyra asked.
"Because after doing everything they ask me to, they give me more work." Spike said.
"Who?" Dizty asked.
"The girls! You know, the six mares who usually get into trouble." Spike said, a collective group of "ahh's" was heard from them.
"Well, we all need to do jobs. But don't worry, you also get time to spend with your friends." Mayor Mare said.
"But I don't get time to hang out with friends." Spike said.
"Sorry, what!?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Yeah, I'm always given work by Twilight or the others. I've never even hanged out with colts my age." Spike said.
"Well, at least you get paid right?" Vinyl Scratch said.
"No, actually I don't."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"But, I've seen you get some bits from ponies around town for the odd jobs you do. Surely you have some bits." Mayor Mare said.
"Actually, every time I come home. Twilight takes my bits and says she's 'saving for when she won't be around'." Spike said, getting a bit angry.
" but ah've nearly always see her leave the house all the time." Big Mac said.
"Yeah, but you know something else. She says she's thinking I should start paying rent.
"But your only a kid!" Mr.Cake said.
"I know, that's what I said, but she just said 'you need to know how to be responsible' ." Spike said trying his best to mimic Twilight.
"Well, do you at least get breaks?" Mrs.Cake said.
"I try, but the only time it seems I can is when I go to sleep."
"Hey wait, didn't you spend that one day trying to help Applejack?" Bonbon said.
"Yeah, as I was in the Everfree. I thought about actually going to make some new friends. But then Those Timberwolves came after me." Spike said.
"So what happened after that?"
"They tried to get me to stop helping her all the time by faking a timberwolf, attack." Spike said.
"So, you help them and dedicate your entire time to help her. And they s
Try to stop you? And yet now they still give you work?" Vinyl asked.
Okay, first question. How do even some of these ponies even know Spike, like Vinyl for instance? What, is he suddenly better at making friends than anyone else in the town? Nowhere in canon have we ever seen evidence that Vinyl even knows Spike, and yet here the author presents her as knowing him personally. Bullcrap. I call bullcrap. And the thing about Spike and his bits? No canon evidence whatsoever either. Again, Twilight's just been turned into a caricature of her former self, and this... this is where I stop reading. This is just a story for the author to push his views that Spike is treated like a slave by Twilight, and even if this was before episodes like Molt Down and such aired, it's still bullcrap. Seriously, anyone with the gift of sight can see Twilight actually cares for Spike, unlike the one in this fic. Yes, she learns her lesson in the end, but the whole concept of the fic requires me to suspend my disbelief so much I just want to bang my head up against a wall.
3/10.
That had me howling with laughter.
4997955
Same, and then this set in.
4997962
I see. Well, I need a laugh, so I'll give this a shot.
Pssssahahahahahahahahaha! Bruh, I'm reminded of one of those stories that bots write after watching 1000 hours of whatever. This is comedic gold.
4997963
4997967
This fic is so easy to riff. I should hand it off to a friend of mine...
4997967
Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Appeared to be a Pile of Ash, anyone?
4997973
It is funny.
4997975
"Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest."
Oh, my gosh, I'm laughing as I'm typing!
4997976
It shouldn't be given the subject, but it is.
4997980
Yup.
4997979
It's a work of masterpiece.
I actually got into a heated debate over this subject in a Discord Server, not this fic but the topic of this fic. The other person was litterally equating an adopted child with chorse to a slave being held agaisnt their will and forced to work and they said "Twilight trets him well but that doesnt mean he's not a slave" ignoring all the times Twilight has listened to Spike and let him go off to do things and live his life and learn without ehr at time such as Dragon Quest where she let him go off to discover dragons and waht it means to be a dragon, yes she followe dhim but she was worryed about him do to his age. she only stepped in when he was in danger and that was to put herself between the dragons and him to protect him.
You dont put yourself in direct dangr agisnt mutiple beings that are lrger then you an can rip you apart for a slave.
Not to mention how much of a smart ass Spike is towards twilight cause he knows her so well he can predict her freak outs.
Everything about their relationship can be described as either parent child or siblings.
I cant figure out how people interpite it as anything but that, even when Twilight does go too far, that happens, people do that all the time with each other by accident.
I am so glad to see other people that can read a situation.
4998065
This. Just all of this exactly sums up Twilight and Spike's relationship.
fics like these define an era of this site, a time when accusation fics were everywhere - some good, some bad
this one falls into the latter category, because while I guess the intent was there, the execution just felt over the top and a bit mouthpiecey tbh - and of course this had to end with the big copyrighted musical number as most of these do where the main character expresses his feelings and everyone feels bad
and okay, while sometimes I feel like Spike gets the brunt of the humor, it's never been with bad intentions, and frankly in recent years that's kinda gone away now that he's grown into himself with the wings and all
it's definitely OOC as fuck, but again that's a recurring trope for fics like these where someone has to hold the idiot ball
I have a feeling this was written by a child who's projecting his own personal problems onto this show tbh