Live and Let Lingerie (2019 State of the Lemur) · 9:25am Jan 6th, 2019
Art by jucamovi1992
So it's a new year. And you might notice a few new things about SS&E.
Just a few
2018 was a year. I've been told of this. There were three-hundred-and-sixty-five days of it. Or at least I hope there were. I wouldn't know. I wasn't exactly around much. And in some cases, I simply wasn't around at all.
This is extremely evident on my main account. I actually didn't upload any new stories in 2018--a fact that I'm strangely proud of, in some pathetic depressing faction. No, that one doesn't count--I uploaded that fic two minutes after the ball dropped, dammit.
SS&E did do one thing in 2018; I finished a longform fic that people once upon a time enjoyed. And we all know how that went.
I also wrote a pretty snazzy blargh series and buried a long-dead elephant. But rampant narcissism aside, 2018 was the year that burnout finally claimed me. Ofolrodi took the biggest hit, as I'm sure the Noble Jury are swift to acknowledge, assuming any of the marsupials have reason to care at this point.
But no, the majority of 2018 was spent falling down this slippery slope of laziness, lethargy, and lumpleskritzm. Yes, I know that the last word isn't real; I was just horny for alliteration. But let's just pretend that "lumpleskritzm" is defined as "exponentially-increasing hate of oneself and one's potential." It's a path I've been on before, but this time it hit me full-stride. Yes, I returned to Ofolrodi after the umpteenth hiatus, but... while my heart may have been in it, my brain wasn't. I was hitting the daily uploads, but the story was going nowhere. A combination of sloppy planning and Impotent Writer's Groin(tm) impeded my ability to make a competent adventure yarn, and the constant updates weren't doing anything for the plot. So, I had the wise idea of just... taking it easy. Drawing back, catching my breath, and working on uploads over several days' worth of keyboard plinking... instead of the daily diarrhea.
And then, like a true blue asshole, I simply... ditched the fanfic altogether. The proverbial Irish Goodbye of lemurrific warcrimes. There's no excuse for any of this--so I'm gonna fart forth a few excuses anyway.
1) Things got really really really really stupid at work. "Where does SS&E work?" asks the blind man. Let's just say that I make a living selling video games on a sinking ship; I'll let you put two and tits together. A sudden change in management followed by the subsequent firing of another manager threw my particular location into chaos. Those left had to tread water in a maelstrom of chaos for months. There were two other major management changes during that time, and then major retail marketing periods and holiday rushes further slammed us. Long story short: I've worked more this year at my job than most of the ones previous. On one hand, this has been great for my coin purse, and I've been able to put bits to snazzy use. On the other tentacle, this has led to the fact that whenever I come home from work I kinda sorta... ... ...want to die. Even without my 2016+ burnout, I have a hard time imagining just how I would have managed a daily writing scenario amidst all this stupidity. And I guess that also ties in with...
2) I just haven't been too terribly cheerful. And that's a pathetic to say, cuz I haven't got anything clinical. My life is pretty alright. I live in a good home and I have plenty of amenities (perhaps too much). I have a dayum good support group through the Noble Jury, or--if you want to get technical about it--two and a half support groups. I have great friends online and I respect my co-workers to death. But... when you suddenly fail so spectacularly at doing something that you could accomplish easily years ago in a flippant sneeze, it's hard to feel any sort of confidence or pride in yourself. And as the time goes by, the misery and shame builds up, to the point that you can't even look at the friendly PMs of awesome, empathetic, well-meaning acquaintances anymore. All the good things remind you of all the reasons you can't have good things, and you go further and further down the "fuck it" hole. You try and convince yourself that a "big break" will come. That something will somehow leap out and inspire you, but you're too busy trying to kill time by lying in bed or sitting dead in your chair, staring at your desktop for minutes and minutes at a time, finding newer and deeper crevices to fill with the delicious smegma of self-loathing. And once submerged in the quagmire, you get obsessed with the tiniest glimpses of light... even if they seem totally friggin' weird. Which brings us to...
3) I am a helpless bastard for rather obvious reasons. Some people started squinting at it not knowing what it was, but then they started cringeing at it forever just because it is the fetish that doesn't end. Since Day... uhm... let's say sixty-nine, SS&E has been synonymous with Disney Princesses and several other stupidly girly things. There's a reason for this. There's always been a reason for this. I had it cultivated slightly in my days of Second Life-ing back before poni poni poni. Then in the early days of Fimfic blarghing and onward into the Noble Jury era, I had it further cultivated--thanks in large part to dayum-awesome-enablers (otherwise known as "friends") humoring mesa. Then the year 2016 comes around, and SS&E goes full emo and burns out. Under a cloud of gloom, there's a moment of enlightenment. Thanks to witnessing a certain Dracey Domino Effect, Skirts gets the idea that maybe... just maybe... all of these once-subtle vibes of his can actually be manifested into not-so-subtle vibrators... of the textual variety. That's right, the lemur wanted to try his tentacle at smut--and not just any smut... but a very niche fetish class of literoticunt that nobody else on the fucking website seems to give two testicles for (in some cases, literally). But--perhaps because of the lemur's upbringing, or maybe due to an eternally unshakeable prudish proclivity--I just couldn't bring myself to lunge forth and drown myself in that promised land of dicks. The usual mechanisms of self-sabotage had my way; they even contributed to the latest hiatus of Austraeoh, creating an excuse that Skirts is "off to try his hand at some femboi superhero epic, lulz, kthnxbai!" This didn't pan out well--for reasons that are far too dull, depressing, and repetitive (fuck alliteration) to mention here. But, suffice to say, for about two years I became a victim of my own second thoughts and misgivings. In many ways, I still am that victim.
But things are starting to change. It's a new year--and that's a basic incentive enough. But there's been more to it than that. In the last month and a half, things have shaped up for the better at work. On top of that, I've communed with a few friggin' numskulls who have given me reasons to smile and enjoy the moment. Combine all of that with an increasingly small amount of fuqs to give, and you now see the flowering (or deflowering) of early 2019 SS&E that undulates currently before you... for the few closet fetishists out there who actually care.
But, in all seriousness, I assure you that this "turn" isn't as "turny" as lot of you may fear. I've not given up on "vanilla" poni poni poni. And I most friggin' especially have not given up on the eternal eastwarding. It is my general goal with my latest pursuits to... y'know... get friggin' excited about writing again. And I'm hoping... truly hoping that all of this nonsense is gonna make that happen. Most likely not overnight, but those who are in the mood to care are likely used to waiting forever and a day for that kind of stuff anyways, and I think I've run out of apologies that can suffice in cleansing myself so... be even more patient, I suppose, you princes of the ocean. F'naaaa. And as for those poor, poor saps waiting for that other story that nobody cares about... well... there's always the She-Ra fandom. (Seriously, though, I've got a backup plan, but blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh)
And yet, if there's anything that I've come to accept about myself is that... I'm just a pathetically antisocial bastard who's horrible... absolutely horrible at communicating. This is no big secret. If you've ever sent me a PM, it's 99.99% likely that I've either ignored or deleted it. I just... don't like talking to people. Like, ever. Once upon a time, I wrote blarghs with maniacal levity... but these days I can scarcely drum up the courage to do more than a single pic-spam per month. I like writing things and I like sharing my own horse literature, but I really don't like doing much else. It's a combination of laziness, self-loathing, and incurable introversion. Even with my own Discord Server--a gorgeous gaggle of awesome j00rists and marsupials--I barely make myself present. I just leave things to the mods and... hide in the shameful shadows. There's only one Bronycon left, and people have poked at me about going... but I can't bring myself to do it. I know that I would ultimately hate myself before, during, and after such an endeavor.
And, with all of that in mind, I think it's only healthy for me to say that... you should never ever take any of my promises seriously. I've broken so many of them--between close friends and close communities. I just can't be trusted to keep to anything. Either I do stuff in a pansy dribble that's prolonged daily over time, or I come out in wild, sporadic bursts of kaizo madness. There's not a whole lot to predict about SS&E, and he's mostly left behind an undeniable graveyard of unfinished detritus. This isn't the only fandom to suffer from that.
Still, it doesn't change the fact that I aim to keep going. And, as of right now, I'm insanely pumped to go in a very... pink direction. A lot of you may not understand it. I don't particularly expect you to. I could try and explain it in a blargh, but not this one. I would very much like the writing to explain the matter itself, and I like to think it already has. I swear that I'm not going crazy and this isn't some epic troll marathon of Skirtsian randomosity. It's something that I really enjoy... and it just so happens to all involve the least liked character of the lesser appreciated half of the fandom and involving an extremely unpopular genre of kinkiness. Yes, I know it's not feature bar material. Yes, I know that I won't be getting much in the way of upvotes or comments or anything for that matter. But I'm insanely motivated to pursue this, growing more and more into legit XXX subject matters within the human-side-of-the-horse-literature.
This is something that I've been aching to do for over two years now, and now I'm pursuing it full force. The multiple-uploads-in-a-row may seem a tad bit overdone, but I wanted to make it very clear to the marsupial alumni very quickly that this isn't your granddaddy's Skirts. In truth, the daily upload of Flash was because I found the time to do it before/after work and it was a fun challenge to keep up. But I need more time to make more serious entries (I don't want them all to be shitfics, by far). And--yeah--Flash Sentry is a favorite choice of mine, but it won't all involve him. More on that in a future blargh, methinks. And also... yes... I'll be doing more things typical of the classic lemur in due time, and I'll be going back to Ofolrodi someday, but this is more or less the direction I'm going to be going in. And if you don't particularly like that change, then that's fine. Y'all've got 152 stories archived under Le Olde Skirts. As Egoraptor would say, nothing's going to change the fact that they exist. And existed--they have--over the past eight years. Something something Canadian nuggets.
And I don't mean to write this blargh as a huge "FLUFF YOU" to the dedicated fans of this cray-cray lemur. Yes, it's very much possible that all of this pretense will just lead to an enormous fall, and my wild attempts at making a moist home for myself in the world of smutty Fimfuckery will just blow up in my face--not with a bang, but with an impotent whimper. I'll just make the commitment right here and now not to go friggin' crazy and vanish completely over the fact.
Picture is extremely fucking relevant
I'm not kidding about the plans I have. Right now, I'm sitting on about twenty legit story ideas that could come into fruition, given enough endorphins and time... and the list keeps growing everyday. I just wanted to give it a ludicrous head-start, hence the six fics that were farted out at the start of this year.
In truth, I'm working on a few more long-form things. There's a story I'm writing for a certain prolific feature bar dominator out there. It's currently 1/4 done, and when fully finished will probably be over 20k of fetishist goodness. Then there's a crazy longform thing that I have a lot of hope for, and that I've already written nearly 30k of. Right now, that is the major goal I'm reaching for. But for that to make even a modicum of a splash, I have to "practice" things first... that means more oneshots and legit exploration of the literary moist-moist, of which I'm still not yet certain I can pull off. But this is the year that I'm going to try it.
As I said before, you really shouldn't put much faith into any of the previews or promises I attempt to make. That's why I'm less inclined to make blarghs like this these days. I'd rather my writing speak for itself... and for me. Sad that it can't be that way for everyone, dreit?
But, since I have y'alls eyebones at the moment, I feel like it's a sweet time to give a few shout-outs... since I couldn't have made it through 2018 without these morons:
Props, I know you've been through a whole lotta hell this year, but you nevertheless found the time to make me smile and feel lurved regardless. I have a lot of positive hope for your future, even if it may be rough-going. I believe you're headed in the right direction, regardless, and you never fail to inspire me. Thanks for all the work you've done in and with the Noble J00ry community, and I wish you and the DnD crowd the best in marching ever eastward.
Intricate, meeting you is one of the most stand-out things to happen this year, and I think I'll always remember it when I look back upon 2018. You just messaged me out of nowhere one day and showed yourself to be a cool, imaginative, invigorating mate, and I look forward to our constant communication. Thanks for giving me connections to people and places so I could feel less stupid about being... well... me. But most of all, thanks for giving me the pleasure of knowing yousa.
Beau, we went to some magical places this year, and it was easily the coolest thing I've done in a long while. On top of that, you continue to surprise and inspire and enlighten me. If it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd be leaping out to do the sort of thing I've started doing at the very beginning of this year. Don't let the pitfalls of Internet/real life dishearten you. You touch others' hearts in ways you should be proud of.
Drace Domino. Even at my age, I still need a senpai, and since Cold in Gardez doesn't write futa, I guess that's you. F'naaaaaaa. Joking, of course. You make me smile on a regular basis. I admire you on many levels: for your professionalism, your imagination, and your overall wholesomeness. You've given me faith in partaking in an "adult art community," and I'm super glad to see you on Twitter these days. More power to you and your pursuits, good sir. I'm indescribably glad that you've graced Fimfiction.
Scampy, I'm very glad to see you around lately. You're an awesome writer and imaginator, not to mention a source of warmth and beauty. I haven't forgotten things you've said to me--in regards to certain butterfly effects and whatnot--but just know that I find you both courageous and inspirational. Mesa not worthy.
Jake, I think we can both agree that your "pep talk" did something for me... perhaps without me even knowing it. It was that good. And I know you're somewhat proud of it, but let us not forget that not everyone has to like the stories I'll be making. Nevertheless, I'm super pleased that you've got my back, and I hope to do you proud.
Fourths and Floydien, your Big Dumb Podcast has been a source of both flattery and enlightenment... especially in the Dark Ages of 2016+. Thanks for making me feel relevant, even long after the fact. I don't really expect my new stuff to be "your thing," but maybe I'll still make stuff that'll impress y'all nonetheless.
Anonpencil, thanks for the commissions. They were part of the inspiration I needed to make this step, and I hope someday to practice the same grace and civility that you do with your fellow Fimficcers. Oh, and spank Priest for me. Thanks.
I know that you don't have a Fimfic account, twilite-sparkleplz, but your continued willingness to tackle fantastic art commissions of mine have been a constant source of joy and inspiration. You've made something hidden and imaginary in my mind come to life, and now I'm trying to do the same through words. I know it'll never do your gorgeous visual skills justice. Thank you, in any case, and give NekoJackun a hug.
So, with that all farted out, here's to a new year, a new shortskirtsandexplosions, and a whole new slew of fics that--at least--will make proper use out of the "skirts" part. And it's okay if y'all don't particularly wish to read them. I'm currently having enough fun for the 6,524 of us (which is immediately going to drop as soon as I upload this blog post; seriously, it statistically happens every time).
Peace. With ghosts.
-SS&E
This new pile of fics ain't my style, but good luck and enjoy yourself.
Just take it easy and do it for yourself, as best as you can do commisions. True fans will just look on in confusion at your more varied works but wont deny you them.
Strange things to watch out for. Stress induced indigestion induced depression and lethargy. Change diet, if regular food has had its recipie new and improved, or better stomach treatment, remove persistant indigestion, feel better. Best example is classic chips made with sunflower oil, new company takes over, and makes them with sunflower and rape oil. And rape is high source of allergens. Helloooo hayfever in your gut.
But given your nicks, I assume youve had some experience with prolonged genuflections and residences at the Thunderthrone?
As Egoraptor would also probably say, "If it makes you happy, you do you, man."
I may not have been strapped into the Lemur Ride as long as some of the people here, but I don't plan to ditch any time soon. I hope you find peace and happiness in your moist-ventures!
I always enjoyed the way you gave Flash some spotlight.
Poor Darf... His end was a sad one.
Hey man, the stories can wait, but the job can't. Write what you enjoy writing. I really hope the eastward journey comes to a close but I'm in it for the long haul.
I'm bad a returning calls, that's my procrastinator-ness. If I'm busy or it's not work/school related then I'm perfectly happy to ignore an acquaintance because I don't want to pause my current anime. "I'll call him back later tonight", that was 3 days ago now...I should actually call that dude back, like tomorrow or something. The guilt piles up so I get that.
Anyway, you do you. I enjoy your contributions and blog posts.
Eww.
I absolutely feel you on this one - that was basically my year, too. It's hard to be creative when you're physically exhausted more or less all the time. Glad things are getting better on that front at least.
I think plenty of us will agree that we'd rather wait patiently if it means the end result will be that much more satisfying, so work on what you have the motivation for now and the rest will come with time. We're not getting off this bus till you kick us out.
Enjoy yourself skirts, you won't lose me as a follower. I will continue to follow you eastwards while dashing apples (yup it has at least one reader) and if we have to wear Disney Princess dresses while on the journey, I hope they don't chafe.
Happy new year.
So what?
No, seriously.
If you don't like what you're writing, write something else... Find something you want to write, write the fuck out of and into it.
You're doing that. If people don't like it, fuck them too! Write for your own enjoyment, even when writing for someone else.
I just read it as "Rumplestlitskin's self-loathing brother who didn't even want to look at a spinning wheel."
In any case, I'm very glad to hear you've found a direction to take your writing that's reignited your passion. I can't guarantee I'll read everything that comes of this, nor can I guarantee I'll leave evidence that I read everything I do, but it's always wonderful to see you excited about horsewords.
Here’s to a better, floofier 2019. Of course I’m here for Austraeoh, so glad to hear that’s not dead. Good luck, Skirts!
As I've said to many (and tried to tell MYSELF repeatedly) throughout the past year: Fanfic authors' first responsibility is not to their readers, but to themselves. If your passion for one thing you're doing fades, it's perfectly normal to find something else to get passionate about. The time will come when your passion for that other thing returns. Or it won't, and that's okay too. The important thing is not to stress yourself out over it.
You don't owe anyone anything except to be happy, to enjoy doing what you do, and to live your life to the fullest...whatever that may mean to you, specifically. And don't let anybody judge you. The people whose opinions matter won't judge you, they'll support you.
Or, y'know, they'll spam up FiMF with a progressively bizarre series of parody/response recursive metafiction.
Stay floofy!
gay
Always like to see long skirtsblarghs, and always glad to see more skirtswords. While the current pink is a bit much for me, I'm just happy to see yourself writing and enjoying it again. Here's hoping it leads to more East, and I'm always around if you just want to talk. Or rather, if a skirtsimposter takes over your computer and suddenly becomes chatty, I'll at least know
I think "Lumplskritzm" is also a cookie, probably a small one, iced, and decorated with brightly-colored sprinkles.
Ha. As if I'd ever stop caring. BTW was sooo jealous of B when he told me he met you! But he did say you did go to the most Magical Place on Earth and it made me very happy to know this.
I'm also glad that you found something to write and be passionate about! Just... send a dude a reply PM occasionally? I'm not going to badger you, I promise!
Who's awesome?
images2.imgbox.com/b7/fc/f456BbV2_o.png
You're awesome.
Why you gotta bring up smegma when we're supposed to feel all shmoopy.
:1
Not sure if you’ve seen, but you’ve generated a tribute in Group Precipitation.
4992145
Oof. Personally, if it came down to it, I'd rather Ofolrodi just stop then you forcing yourself to write something you have no interest in continuing. It's great you found something you like again though, good luck!
Most of my points have already been covered by other folks, but I just wanted to encourage you to not feel obligated to anyone but yourself when it comes to this stuff. Like, sure, I'd love to see Awful Roady pick up again, but if it's at the cost of your health and personal happiness, I won't begrudge you taking your time with it. Quite frankly, your writing efforts over the past few years have been superhuman, and quite honestly I think this long break is exactly what you need. Hope you have a great 2019!
Rather than a grimy lump of self-loathing and f'naaa, I see a big ol' sweetheart with a bottomless capacity for spreading joy. I think that every time you take a chance to truly be who you are, you get a little better at seeing it, too.
Who knows? Maybe one day, a little better may be good enough.
Panties.
great to see you starting the year off on a positive note, only thing that would make this better is if i had the motivation to actually read the stuffs i want to read
Welcome back, Skirts. Very excited for what's to come.
Dreit
This explains the random spank
Hohohohoooooly shit I forgot Second Life existed. I think I still have my accounts, too. Hell if you were ever on TSL the two-ish years before the merge then we probably spoke there at some point. I was also a dude then so?
And, I mean, of all people of course I'm going to be the one to support more pervy shit. Like. C'mon. Fuckin' bring it. Drown me in the smut.
You do you boo. Maybe me too. Much love <3
Spank completed, in your honor. I am SO SO glad you've decided to start writing the sorts of things you're delving into. I really really hope to read more of your stuff in the future. Keep being awesome.
And above all, PLEASE be kind to yourself? People care about you, and not just because of your writing. Try not to be mean to yourself in your own thoughts, because you don't deserve that. Like what you like, write what you want to write, and know that you have friends. Even just casual friends, who don't chat as often as I probably should. Either way, I'm around often and here for you if you need an e-hug or just wanna swap dress pictures. Seriously, you're a cool dude. Don't let yourself forget it. <3
I guess I'm somewhat unique among your readers. I came in (followed you, in the least creepy way) about 1/2 way into that monster of a Flash Sentry fic. I experienced Flash's highs and lows, I think I even sent you some encouraging messages. I also upvoted that shit so fast I broke a mouse.
Then all was quiet on the Skirts' front (there is a euphemism there somewhere). Then came Fwoof (by PropMaster, of course), and I loved that so much I needed to read Flounce. You made me fall in love with the idea of this adorable, curious guy and his love for soft frilly things. I went back and found Intulpable, which also made me giggle more than is healthy for a man my age.
The new run of Flash tickles me pink. I love this take on an (almost) universally disliked character from the bastard-step-sibling of the show everyone knows and loves. I don't expect a reply, but just know I take a little time out the day each time I see one of these wonderful little pieces to giggle at the cute guy being cute.
So, as a new fan and lover of what you're writing at the moment, keep doing you. There is not enough you in this world.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/12/1/1894935__safe_artist-colon-whateverbender_night+guard_princess+luna_royal+guard_oc_oc-colon-grey+mouse_adorkable_alicorn_animated_armor_bat+pony_bat+po.gif
You do you, Skirts!
I feel you.
I haven't been in the mood to draw for like a year. But you mentioning Flash, She-Ra and crossdressing, and me filling the blank slate that is royal guard Flash Sentry with all my fantasies about fair ladies and paladins, are giving me weirdest ideas for drawing crossovers.Does SS&E need a hug?
Also explains why you didn't answer my PM, but I understand.