Paul's Thursday Reviews CXLIV · 7:25pm Jan 3rd, 2019
By Luna's stars, people. I hope none of you ever know what it's like to have an internet dependent upon the weather. I've spent the last two weeks at my parents' place and most of that time has been spent with rain. I almost gave up on posting a blog today, but the weather keeps clearing up in little five minute spurts so that, intermittently, I've been able to get everything I need put this together. I can't wait to get back to my Houston area apartment with its fiber-optic cables and continuous stream of internet rain or shine.
In the meantime, I have been super lazy since starting my holiday vacation. I have done no writing at all, and spent all my time either with family or learning the ins and outs of Factorio (neither of which requires an active internet connection to enjoy, thank heavens). I don't feel the least bit guilty about this, especially considering I've ended 2018 with ~580k words written. I think I'm justified in giving myself a break. But once I'm back home, so too will I be back to my regular writing activities. Let's just hope the long lapse hasn't ruined my work ethic.
I aim to continue that vacation, so let's get to 2019's first batch of reviews, shall we?
Stories for This Week:
Works Every Time by Forthwith
Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister by Georg
Hard Reset by Eakin
The Cold Streets of Baltimare by DemonBrightSpirit
The Lessons Left Unlearned by Donnys Boy
What's in the Box? by Daemon of Decay
Tear the Sky Asunder by Ice Star
Pinkie Pie's Shadow by Venomblast
All That Glitters by ellie_
Immortal Beginnings by Snake Staff
Total Word Count: 147,057
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 4
Worth It: 3
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Works Every Time
5,222 Words
By Forthwith
If you’ve seen Lesson Zero, you probably recall Twilight’s little quote from right after she cast the Want It, Need It spell on Smarty Pants: “Works every time.” Which means she’s used it before. Forthwith decides to explore the how and why of that quote in this story, in which a filly Twilight (actual age unclear) uses the spell to keep her foul (in her mind, at least) hobbies safe from all who may learn of them. Especially Princess Celestia.
This was quite the cute little fluff piece. Twilight enacts her devious plan, which has far greater success than she anticipated, and Celestia conjures up a rather unique punishment for her as a result. Said punishment is easily the highlight of the story, full of all sorts of moments in which Twilight says the things Celestia only wishes she could to ponies who certainly have it coming.
Not quite what I expected, but still good for what it is. Alas, there’s no real ‘lesson learned’ here, but I’m willing to give that a hand wave this time as I don’t think it was meant to have one anyway. Read it if you’re in the mood for filly Twilight doing filly Twilight things.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Brief Reign of Princess Twily — Pretty Good
The Moon's Apprentice — Worth It
The Ghosts of Harmony — Needs Work
Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister
9,292 Words
By Georg
When Scootaloo starts bragging to everyone who will listen that she has the coolest big sister ever, Diamond Tiara is green with envy. Why should she go without a sister? She especially can’t stand that all three of those blank flank Crusaders have at least one sibling while she’s stuck an only child with a single father who won’t get a fillyfriend (this was written before the spoiled bitch came into the picture, mind you). There’s only one thing to do about this: she goes to Ponyville General to buy a little sister.
The opening of this story is adorable. Diamond Tiara clearly has no idea where babies really come from, and treats the maternity ward as a sales floor. Of course, then she makes her selection and meets the ‘salespony’, who happens to be the baby’s mother. The conversation is highly entertaining… at first. But then we realize that DT is far more serious about this whole ‘little sister’ thing than even she believed, and she’s determined to have this one even if the mother is mysteriously reluctant.
I love how Georg managed to approach this, keeping Diamond Tiara a foal and keeping her in character the whole time. She never stops being that selfish little princess, even as she comes to realize the gravity of what she’s trying to do. It has a strange way of making her endearing and annoying at the same time, but I’m very much approving of the results. Georg made DT complicated, and that’s not an easy thing.
My only real complaint is the extremely contrived nature of the story. It operates under the idea that cutie marks and fate will make things happen no matter the odds, and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’m willing to accept the issue as subjective since different people view such things differently, but it’s just too much of a stretch for me.
Still, for a wonderful characterization of a filly while she was still one of the ‘bad girls’, this story earns my approval. I went into this expecting something silly, and came out with something heartwarming.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard — WHYRTY?
Drifting Down the Lazy River — WHYRTY?
Daring Do and the Dance — Pretty Good
The Night Guard - Night Mares — Pretty Good
The One Who Got Away — Pretty Good
Hard Reset
36,358 Words
By Eakin
At long last, I come to this. Hard Reset has long been regarded as one of the old school icons of MLP fanfiction, so it was inevitable that I’d get to it eventually. The plot, which I’m sure you’ve heard before in this case or any of a thousand others trying to catch the same fire, has Twilight Sparkle caught in a time loop where if she dies, she returns to the moment she cast the responsible spell. It just so happens that she unwittingly cast this spell a few hours before Queen Chrysalis launches an all-out invasion of Canterlot with a massive army of changelings while simultaneously replacing Princess Celestia and a large chunk of Canterlot’s population. So now Twilight has to not only find a way to fix her looping, but do so while ensuring Equestria and all her loved ones survive the event.
Yeah. She does a lot of resetting. And for the record, dying hurts like a bitch.
I’ve read a number of stories involving time-related shenanigans, so it was interesting to read this, which I presume is the first (or at least the first to gain widespread approval). I’m trying to evaluate it from that perspective, even if it’s hard to do knowing what others have done. Ultimately, there are two things that are the most striking to me about it.
The first is the ‘kiddie gloves’ manner in which Eakin dealt with this topic. I don’t mean to imply that there’s anything wrong with the approach, of course. It’s just that this kind of material, as other stories have shown, can lead to extremely dark elements. Those elements are hinted at here, but only just so, such that the entire story feels more like a wild adventure (and a joy-ride at times) than the soul-crushing horror it would actually be. Which, of course, allows the story to preserve its T-rating.
Ah, but Eakin does address this topic in-story. This is that second thing that stood out: once the day is saved, the invasion is thwarted, and the time loop has ended? The story’s not over. Eakin takes the extra time to show the aftermath, particularly as it relates to Twilight’s psyche. This was unquestionably a good move. Even if it continues to subtly step around the hard realities to maintain the comfy rating, it clarifies that what Twilight went through is mind-shattering and she won’t be recovering any time soon.
On the one hand, I feel that the story would have been vastly more powerful if the author had shown us Twilight’s darkest moments within the time loop. On the other, I think Eakin’s approach was nothing short of perfect in terms of maintaining a target audience and rating, providing a strong and well-paced story, and throwing us sadficionados enough of a bone to satisfy our darker tastes (and that’s without the dark alternate ending). Which leads me to conclude that they made the right choice. Overwhelmingly.
I had a few hiccups, all minor. For example, I thought the writing was a bit too minimalist with the emotions, such that it downplayed what Twilight was going through. That might have been the point though. I also recall Chrysalis explaining in one loop that many, if not most, of the ponies captured prior to the invasion had been so heavily drained as to be brain-dead. How curious that at the end of it all nopony is mourning those lost souls. I’ll grant Chrysalis could have been lying, but the lack of confirmation makes it feel more like the author just forgot.
But again, they’re small hiccups. As a writer, the thing that most stands out to me is how carefully Eakin constructed this story. Perhaps it wasn’t on purpose, but I feel they made some sacrifices in the story’s overall potential in order to reach a broader audience, and we can all see by its rating and view count that it worked phenomenally. There’s even a possibility Eakin wrote the scenes with the most emotionally-potent possibilities in a less emotional way to maintain the overall acceptability of the material, and if that’s so then I am impressed.
The point that I’m trying to make is that I feel as though this story was tailored to achieve certain goals, and hit all of them. It took previously untapped potential and made it into something easily digestible to any reader without sacrificing the things that give the concept its potential in the first place. It is, simply put, a remarkably well-engineered story. Most writers tend to work in a niche or excel at one specific element in their writing, which makes getting something that runs right down the middle like this extraordinarily hard.
Okay, honestly? It’s tricky to describe what I’m trying to say here. Generally speaking though, Hard Reset has hit a sweet spot that many writers desire but so very few can achieve. I’m not sure I’ve ever read a story that hit that spot so perfectly.
Simply put, while the story is good, I’m more fascinated with how it was put together than the story in and of itself.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Facebook Buys Ponyville — Pretty Good
The Cold Streets of Baltimare
24,782 Words
By DemonBrightSpirit
When Rarity visits Baltimare for a fashion show, things don’t go quite how she expects. The hotel is shut down, she’s without a place to stay or any money, and it’s the dead of Winter. Freezing and desperate, she stumbles her way into an alley to find… Trixie.
One thing bugged me throughout this entire story: doesn’t Equestria have banks? Yes, yes it does. We know it does because DemonBrightSpirit says so later in the story. So how is it possible that a city like Baltimare doesn’t have a bank Rarity can draw money from? I find it impossible to believe that Rarity, who travels all across Equestria for both her job and her duties to the country, doesn’t have an account with a national bank that has branches in every major city. ‘A lady is always prepared,’ my ass.
But if you ignore that one glaring oversight?
I feel this is the story that finally vindicates my decision to watch this author all these years. DemonBrightSpirit’s stories have ranged from ‘meh’ to ‘almost there’ and, in one instance, ‘great until thrown in all the wrong directions’. But this? This is golden. It’s a story about how tremulous and tricky it can be to make friends, and how not all people are open to the idea of friendship.
And it is a brilliant depiction of Rarity. She’s generous, but she’s also selfish, and this story depicts both aspects equally and to great effect. She wants to be Trixie’s friend, but at the same time her desire seems to be as much for her own sense of personal value as it is for Trixie’s future. DemonBrightSpirit plays these two motivations against one another with remarkable skill, culminating in an ending that is at once realistic and a hard lesson for everyone’s favorite fashionista.
I suppose it’s obvious by now, but I loved this story. It’s at once a sadfic, a character study of Rarity, and a look at the life of Trixie Lulamoon. More than anything, though, it’s a reminder that we can’t always succeed in our goals.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Inferno — Worth It
Schrödinger's Pony — Worth It
The End of Immortality — Worth It
Descent into Hell — Needs Work
The Lessons Left Unlearned
3,168 Words
By Donnys Boy
After the events of Filli Vanilli, Fluttershy’s smiles are broken when she’s around Pinkie. For Pinkie Pie, this is like a slap in the face. She knows she did something wrong, but she doesn’t know what. Apologies don’t work. Cupcakes don’t work. Fluttershy’s smile can’t be fixed, and it’s driving her crazy.
This is the first time I’ve seen anyone address Pinkie’s behavior in this episode in story form, which is a big part of why I targeted it for reading. In a way, it acts as a character study of Pinkie Pie. It also does a nice job of getting her started down the path of being a better friend, specifically when it comes to thinking about what she’s saying before she actually says it.
Really good Pinkie Pie stories are those that capture her energy, enthusiasm, and silliness without making her out to be a total idiot. This story does all of that nicely, giving us a Pinkie who might not be the smartest pony, but who does want to be a better one. As such, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Pinkie Pie deserves more good stories, and Donnys Boy seems to have a talent for giving us that.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Seeking Beauty — WHYRTY?
The Color of Dreams — WHYRTY?
Not Unless You Mean It — Pretty Good
What's in the Box?
1,366 Words
By Daemon of Decay
Do you think existential quandaries regarding inanimate objects are stupid? If so, this might appeal to you.
There’s not much behind this story. An unmarked box has mysteriously appeared in Luna’s room, and she spends her time pondering the concept and purpose behind closed boxes. That’s it, really. Oh, and there’s an unexpected ending.
I have little to say. There was a point where I start to think that DoD was stretching the idea thin but, as the conclusion shows, that’s the whole point. Read it, enjoy it, move on.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Help — Pretty Good
Tear the Sky Asunder
8,104 Words
By Ice Star
Requested by Ice Star
In what I suspect is an expansion of the world of Autophobia, Ice Star continues their desperate quest to appear original and intellectual through the use of flowery and experimental poetic prose. We won’t hold that against them.
This time, Ice Star attempts to depict the original assault of Tirek and Scorpan. The timing is a bit strange, as it strongly suggests the Eternal Winter has already been impacting pre-Equestria for a while and will continue to do so for at least another generation, which begs the question of how the ponies survived so long in an environment that couldn’t actually grow food (though apparently they continue to do so anyway). Celestia and Luna are still the students of a vile Starswirl and the world is, for all intents and purposes, a wasteland.
This is easily the clearest and most legible of Ice Star’s poetic works that I’ve read so far. While Autophobia and Bathophobia both demanded careful reading and interpretation to properly understand what’s happening, I was able to pass through Tear the Sky Asunder with surprising ease. The end result is a story much more enjoyable. This all may simply be due to my disenchantment with the medium and the more prose-like manner of the poetry in this one, so I’d understand if this perspective is deemed by my readers as subjective.
Regardless, this is a bleak tale about a disaster that does absolutely nothing to solve the problems of pre-Equestria, but perhaps presents the seeds of the coming union that would occur thanks to Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie, and Private Pansy. The writing is all flowery and vivid and yet paints a delightfully clear image of the world and its unpleasant cultures. In terms of giving us a view, Ice Star succeeds fantastically.
The only real issue is that nothing happens. Oh, yes, Tirek and Scorpan arrive and unleash hell upon the ponies before being defeated, as we know they will be. Yet that victory ultimately doesn’t mean anything. I suppose it could be called realistic, but that doesn’t make it feel like any less of a let down.
Regardless, I’m happy to say this is by far the best of Ice Star’s poetic attempts.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Autophobia — Pretty Good
All That Lingers — Worth It
Bathophobia — Worth It
Stardust Bridge — Needs Work
Pinkie Pie's Shadow
54,821 Words (Incomplete)
By Venomblast
Requested by Venomblast
In this story, Venomblast decides to handle a lot of tropes and cliches in an intended epic. For starters, we have Pinkamena as a second personality for Pinkie Pie who, under the right circumstances, can separate and be an entirely different pony. Pinkamena is, of course, widely regarded as evil/corrupt. She’s also totally misunderstood, and has a desire to defeat Princess Celestia and the Tree of Harmony on the basis that both are evil tyrants. With this goal in mind, she starts recruiting past villains of the Elements.
Venomblast made one of the more common mistakes new writers tend to make: their first story is an epic. This means that all their flaws get shown in all their disastrous glory. Before I say anything else, I’ll grant my first bit of advice. Venomblast, write short stories. I’m always happy to see ambition, but it must be tempered with experience, learning, and self-growth. Trying to write a massive epic in the first go is almost always going to fail, so a better option is to focus on shorter pieces in order to refine your writing style. After all, if you’re going to write something big, it pays dividends to be able to write it well.
Now, I’ve started off with a bit of negative, but it’s not as bad as all that. The concept behind Pinkamena is legitimately good. Great, even! It’s a direction I’ve never seen for her character, and that goes hand-in-hand with her relationship with Pinkie. It avoids a number of tropes regarding the character, including the violence and bloodthirst (though not if you hear Celestia speak of her). There was a lot of potential here, and I welcome the change.
But there are problems. The first and most obvious is Pinkamena’s blatant OP nature. By the time I stopped reading, she’d gotten into a one-on-four fight against Luna, Chrysalis, Tirek, and an OC with the painfully unoriginal name of Shadowbound and wins without so much as breaking a sweat. I skipped most of the fight because, frankly, watching someone being a ridiculously overpowered badass is boring and makes for a resoundingly uninteresting character. A character who faces no challenge isn’t worth reading about. It was different at the beginning of the story when Pinkamena’s power was hindered by Pinkie’s presence, because then she was limited.
My advice here, Venomblast: don’t make a character superpowered unless you absolutely must, and then only in the story’s climax. Better yet, don’t make your character overpowered so that they can be seen working for what they want. Stories like this aren’t interesting without there being some clear danger or risk.
The second issue relates to the style of writing, which is extrapolative to frustration and loaded with nonstop Tell. For every little thing that happens, you can expect to read one-to-five paragraphs going into intricate detail of what it means. This often leads to information being repeated ad nauseum. This is all made worse by the author’s tendency to change perspectives on a dime so that we can get what each one is thinking about the exact same thing.
My advice here: narrow it down to what’s important and stop trying to tell us every little thing. We don’t need to know what every character is thinking. We don’t need to explore every perspective. It doesn’t make things more interesting. All you’re doing is delaying the progression of the story. Pick the characters who are most important for the scene and stick with them. Better yet, choose one character per scene, at least until you get your feet on the ground as a writer. This is a subjective element, but personally I believe it’s better to limit perspectives to only one character for any scene because it reduces the chance of confusing the readers, allows for the option of mystery without being forced, and speeds up the narrative process.
Regarding the technical aspect of the writing, you’ll definitely want to find an editor. Not the kind that is a gushing fan, but the kind that scowls at your work, covers it in red ink, and is unafraid to inform you that your reasons for ignoring grammar rules are stupid. I will emphasize that this may be a painful experience. It sure as heck was for me. But if you can get through it, you will be a better writer for it.
Now let’s deal with the characters and the intended audience. Frankly, I have no idea who the intended audience is. Are we trying to write a powerful epic adventure in which the future of Equestria is at stake, beloved characters may die, and emotions are running high? Or are we trying to write a 3-year-old’s silly funtime adventure? You’re sending out mixed signals.
Okay, so Pinkamena has a huge task ahead, must face powerful enemies, and has to risk the possibility of killing the Element Bearers for the betterment of the world, all while battling her lingering feelings of guilt and trying to find her place as a hero or villain. Heavy stuff.
So why do we have children-show nonsense like this?
Rarity scratched her head, "I do see why she is dangerous, but what caused her to go all evil and such." Rarity seemed rather worried, but when she caught sight of her flicking hoof she lit up. "Ooo! My hooves are just so shiny, I got them polished, but none of you cared to even bring it up!"
We’re trying to discuss a monster who supposedly murdered thousands, and Rarity’s whining about her lack of attention. This isn’t the first or last time stupid stuff like this goes on. Another scene that sticks out is Chrysalis – the ominous, powerful, deadly changeling queen – acting like a 5-year-old in most of her scenes. Venomblast, if you’re trying to write an epic aimed at a mature audience such as myself, do not do this. Yes, Rarity might do some vain things in the show...
...but remember the show is, at its core, aimed at little children. If this is meant to be a serious story, then you should write your characters as adults.
Which brings me to the next problem: character tropes and behavior. You’re writing a story set after Season 8. The characters have grown a lot since Season 1, and that means a lot of the old tropes and identifying traits have matured if not disappeared entirely. Fluttershy wouldn’t fly away in a panic because we’re talking about a villain who isn’t even in the room, regardless of what that villain did. Nor does she stutter every other word anymore or hide behind her mane at the slightest hint of attention. Princess Twilight Sparkle wouldn’t go into a panic attack because, oh my Goddess, Celestia sent her a letter she hasn’t even read yet!
If you want your readers to appreciate your characterizations, it’s important to keep in mind how the characters have grown canonically in relation to when you’re setting the story. And just as important, don’t lean on character antics from the show: giving Twilight a panic attack for no reason doesn’t make me smile, it makes me annoyed; having Rarity fret over her hooves during an important conversation and complain about ‘nature’ isn’t a nod to her character, it’s an insult to her intelligence; having Fluttershy’s wings freeze up mid-flight in her terror doesn’t harken back to an amusing scene, it ignores her character growth in the last seven seasons. It’s fine to do a subtle reminder of something that happened in the past, it’s not fine to throw references in our faces as if we’re supposed to love your story because of it.
That’s all have for this one, folks. While I reiterate that the idea behind it is worthwhile, I couldn’t possibly recommend the story in its current format. Venomblast, I hope you’re not too disheartened by this. For my last bit of advice, don’t go back and fix this story. Heck, you might even consider finishing it (if it’s not over by the time this blog releases, that is). Instead, continue to write new material, but focus your attention on smaller stuff, short stories and the like, in order to develop your skills before tackling anything big like this again. Join groups, join contests, get editors and pre-readers, build a network, study the stories that are critically praised and panned (and not just by me) to get an idea of how to improve. And when you think you’ve grown enough as a writer, consider doing a rewrite – not by editing this story, but by creating a whole new one with the same base ideas/themes from scratch. And always keep your old works, even if only in private, so that you can see how far you’ve come in later years.
The path to self-improvement and success demands dedication and work, but if you stick to it you may find it highly rewarding.
Bookshelf: Incomplete
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
All That Glitters
2,406 Words (Incomplete)
By ellie_
Sequel to She's Shimmering
Disappointingly, ellie_ hasn’t been on FIMFiction since 2015. Seeing as this story will never be finished, I decided to go ahead and see what might have been.
For the lone chapter of this could-have-been, we find that the Dazzlings are about to start their first national tour, but the management at their record company say they need something ‘big’ to give them an edge over the competition. Adagio knows exactly what she wants to do, and it involves a certain red-and-gold haired girl who has always been in the audience.
As much as I hate the fact this never ended, I love all the possibilities the lone chapter presents. Here we are finally properly introduced to an Adagio who is unrepentantly evil and is about to include an unwitting Sunset Shimmer in her machinations for no reason other than she’s attracted to her. Given that this is blatantly an alternate universe, we have no idea who this Sunset is beyond her clear fascination and adoration of Adagio. She could still be evil. She might be good. She might not even be the pony Sunset. This story could go anywhere.
Alas, the great potential this has to be a romance (and maybe even a ‘bad guy turns good’ fic) only gets us so far. That ellie_ decided to abandon the site and this project is beyond disappointing. Maybe someone can pick it up where it left off and do something with it. Won’t be me, I’ve already promised to do that once and haven’t even started on that project, so there’s no way I’m gonna look into grabbing a second one.
A great start to a great idea, but nothing more than that.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
She's Dazzling — Pretty Good
She's Shimmering — Pretty Good
Sweetest Day Ever — Pretty Good
An Apple for Ya Trouble — Worth It
Immortal Beginnings
1,538 Words
By Snake Staff
Side Story to Together Forever
This one is a bit non-traditional, in that it isn’t a story with a given protagonist or a moral or anything of that sort. Instead, it is Celestia – rather, the corrupt version found in Together Forever – briefly explaining the history of the world and the alicorn race. What we end up with is a revision of Equestrian history in the form of a very familiar tale: gods run amuck and being irresponsible, then trying to solve their mistakes by making whole new ones.
While the story itself is rather bland (Celestia recounts the story in the manner of a college professor giving a lecture to an auditorium of disinterested teens), it does a great job of giving us Celestia’s perspective and a window into the reasons behind her villainous actions. It paints alicorns as the saviors of the world and, at least from a historical stance, one can argue that as being factual. As things stand, it’s impossible to say if the alicorns of old were all just like Celestia – cold, corrupt, and willing to destroy anything that gets in the way of her goals – or if she is simply taking things to extremes that they wouldn’t condone.
Immortal Beginnings, by itself, isn’t much of a story. As a standalone I’d say it’s even kind of boring. But when taken with awareness of who the narrator is in this case and what it means for her as an individual, it takes on a whole new level of interesting. I’d say those two elements balance themselves out nicely. But it would definitely be to any potential reader’s benefit to read Together Forever first.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Together Forever — WHYRTY?
The Djinni's Tale — Pretty Good
Three Goddesses, the Apple, and the Stallion — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
The Apple on His Flank by Drakkith
The Moon, The Flower, And The Door by Bucking Nonsense
As The Feathers Blow Away by CristalGalaxy
A Letter to the Griffon Emperor on the Matter of War by Wages of Sin
Would It Matter If I Was? by GaPJaxie
A Canterlot Carol by GhostOfHeraclitus
One Thousand Years by MaxKodan
Entropy by zaponator
The Division Bell by FloydienSlip
If You Need a Little Faith... by Quillamore
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Hard Reset is one of those stories I've needed to read forever, and there's just so much else that keeps happening. D:
I haven't read any of these! But I'll echo the same sentiment that DemonBrightSpirit is an author who'd been frustratingly consistent at coming close to having something notable but never quite getting there, until the one story that finally stood out. For me, that one was "The End of Immortality." It's not the most amazing thing out there, but it's a nice case of them getting over one of the important developmental humps a writer needs.
4990683
Definitely worth a read. I didn't feel like Eakin was pulling his punches like Paul says, but then again, my taste in horse words runs a bit lighter than his.
Ooo, happy to see Hard Reset listed here! It's been a long time since I read it, since it was one of the earlier pony fanfictions I ever read, but I've always had fond memories of reading it.
All That Glitters, I think is one I never read, though I really enjoyed She's Dazzling. Sounds like it might be worth a shot, though, if it's still worth it with just the one chapter.
I can't remember which one it is, but one of the sequel/side stories for Hard Reset is incredibly dark. It comes with appropriate warnings too.
I finally read Hard Reset roughly a month ago. I quickly saw why it’s a fandom classic, but… in all honesty I feel like I’ve read better, particularly in the sense of voicing Twilight.
I don’t want to grouse about it at length, but I will take the time to respectfully disagree about how much aftermath the story included. On the one hand it’s good that there’s a hefty emotional toll to what happened, on the other hand it felt like there’s another half story after the main one with such a drastically different tone that I wasn’t prepared for or as invested in. I don’t know what could’ve made it work better for me.
I live in a very rural area in CA. for 15 years weve had the worst internet services. Dialup was our most reliable. Satalite internet was extremely dependant on weather and any amount of snow or ice took it out, even wind had an effect. Then we went to a microwave system that didnt have enough bandwidth to support all its customers. On top of that our antenna got fried by lightning. 4 times... yeah unreliable internet sucked. Now I have fiberoptic line and gigabit speeds.
I was pretty busy lately and forgot that I ended up with a review, so I'm late responding to it.
It does happen in the same world as Autophobia, yes. The pieces are there for readers to connect them, if they would like.
The last two sentences certainly don't seem to go very well with one another since the former certainly seems to be doing just what the latter says isn't being held against me... because I like to write weird poetry like other people like to write other categories of things?
This comment struck me as a little odd because the Eternal/Long/BIG SPOOKY GHOST/Whatever you like to call it Winter is not referenced in any way. What's said about the the territory that the ponies' live in is that it is not the best for growing things, near many mountains, and the climate is a bitter one. There's not even a hint of windigos in the story, just depictions of bleaker geography. All that really means is that the ponies do not live anywhere pleasant and that they are somewhere with a cold climate. There's territory and biomes that are naturally like this. Assuming the Long Winter must be happening does feel like a stretch when there's other possibilities. Siberia is real, who is to say Horse Siberia is not, etc. If you really liked the interpretation of the Winter, you could always infer/theorize that it is just beginning because of the dystopian state of pony society that keeps progressing.
I really was interested by how you mentioned this; I tried doing a variety of little poems with this one, like how some of the chapters were acrostic poems and others were mixed with prose. One of Celestia's ended up being in the same style as Autophobia, but seeing that this was easier to follow - especially considering this one wasn't as psychological as the others and had more direct action.
Like your comments about imagery, knowing that this story succeeded in giving a clear idea of what was happening because of its scope is great. Thank you for the review!
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The Reign of Queen Twilight Sparkle was the really really dark one.
And, yeah. As might be obvious from my own work, I've got a soft spot in my heart for Hard Reset. One of the classics.