Something Silly · 12:09am Jan 2nd, 2019
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, a question burned inside Sweetie Belle’s mind.
She tried to think about something else, to ignore it until it went away, but she couldn’t. The question’s implications were too profound, and she herself too hungry for answers. And so in the middle of class, she raised a hoof.
“Ms. Cherilee,” she blurted out, “why is it that unicorns get magical powers unique to their special talent, but earth ponies all get super strength no matter what? Is that why so many earth ponies do manual labor?”
Once released, the burning question interacted with the oxygen in the air and formed an incendiary statement.
“No, earth ponies do manual labor because unicorns are racist!”
Moments later, the schoolhouse burst into flames.
The fire spread from the schoolhouse to the nearby Dry Tinders and Oily Rags shop, which in turn spread it to the rest of downtown Ponyville. In total, the fire destroyed nearly a third of the town being before snuffed by a chilling implication.
“You know,” Rarity shouted at the fire, “if anything ever happened to Princess Celestia, half the planet would burn and the other half would freeze.”
The flames went out, and the ponies of Ponyville thanked Rarity, before going to sip scotch and stare unblinkingly into the night.
Lol
"Th' dream is always th' same, Wiiiiillllbuuuurrrr."
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mred/images/f/f1/Mr-ed-shades.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140305160020
A portion of a story I concepted but never wrote involved the last remnants of ponykind surviving in a thin strip of permanently twilit land between the frozen moon and sun.
I forget the rest but I’m sure it was appropriately edgy.
I actually tend to think that the most racist ponies on average tend to be pegasi, rather than unicorns or earth ponies. A significant portion of the pegasus population live up in cloud cities, and the odds are surprisingly high that they might go their entire lives without seeing an earth pony or a unicorn. So the isolation has bred a fair amount of casual, usually unintended racism.
Um...
4989613
Luna isn't real, dude. She's like Santa Claus.
Think about it. If she was real, she would have been there during the changeling invasion.
Shocking revelations and acidic tones involve different energy types, but I doubt either would've helped.
Huh. "Something Silly" is my Destiny 2 clan.
4989585
I was really expecting the rest of your comment to end with "your mother's a whore."
4989615 Now I want to write a story: Why Celestia Has No Shadow
"Actually... I must confess something, Twilight." Celestia lowered her voice and checked to make sure Luna had finished going down the hallway to her room. "You are quite incorrect. I do have a shadow."
"But you don't!" insisted Twilight. "It's perfectly plain. Even now." She waved a hoof under her fellow alicorn. "See!"
"My shadow is not here, Twilight. It's rather... complicated." Celestia took a short breath. "It's Luna."
4989703
Suck it, Trebek. Suck it long and suck it hard.
You're right, that was silly. :D
4989639
*thunderous applause*
4989721
Twilight paused for a moment, then laughed uneasily. "Okay, that was a good joke, Princess," she said. "But it's a little too unbelievable. I mean, Luna has a shadow." Twilight pointed discreetly down the hall, where the other royal sister was walking from her room toward the royal kitchens — a dark blotch on the ground underneath her, exactly opposite her body from the hallway lights.
Celestia nodded neutrally. "Twilight, you've got an excellent grasp of my sense of humor. But I can assure you: the fact that there's no darkness underneath me is no prank, nor a trick of my magic."
Twilight stared at Luna's receding form for several seconds. Then swallowed. "… You're serious."
"It's a funny thing," Celestia said gently, "how alicorn shadows work. Just like with ponies, they take the shape of a mere dark patch underneath our bodies where we block out the light — until we are in the proximity of others who bring out our deepest emotions. Then they manifest physically as our greatest hopes and dreams. Or as our greatest fears. Or, sometimes … just as the way we see ourselves, in our heart of hearts."
Twilight's wings fluffed out a bit. She rocked side to side on her hooves, trying not to let her nervousness show. "What are you saying, Princess?"
"My faithful student," Celestia said — pointedly using a title she hadn't called Twilight since her coronation months ago — "now that we're standing here together, do you know where your shadow is?"
Twilight looked down. Her blood froze in her veins.
Underneath her, the marble floor was a pristine, undarkened white.
Twilight's mouth opened and closed several times. She looked at Celestia, and at the bright floor underneath her. Then down at herself and her own floor. Back and forth a few times, as if she could make the effect go away by looking again.
"Oh," she finally said, voice weak.
Luna paused in her trek back to her room — plate of pie hovering in midair as she chewed — and glanced over at the two alicorns quizzically. She opened her mouth to say something, paused, shook her head, and walked off again.
Twilight's eyes strayed down to Luna's shadow as the dark alicorn left.
"Oh," Twilight said. "Oooooooohhhhhh."
4990292 Luna merely rolled her eyes and kept walking. After all, Celestia was the one who had suggested she take up a hobby of a sort that could not go wrong under any circumstances. And her new collection of pony shadows would not sort themselves.
4989639
Just don't get the Cutie Mark Crusaders involved. The show's sappy enough as it is.
4990292
And that's how Starlight Glimmer was made!
“What started the fire in the first place?” one earth pony asked another.
“The way I heard it, it started in the schoolhouse,” replied the other as she took another sip of her drink. Setting the drink down, she continued, “Some unicorn filly posed a question, I think.”
“What was the question?”
“Not sure. Something about earth ponies and unicorns, I’m not sure.”
Her companion snorted as he took a sip of his drink. “Unicorns are always causing trouble. I think the town would be better without them.”
The other shrugged. “Maybe. But it was a unicorn that stopped the fire, don’t forget.”
The stallion threw back the rest of his drink and stood up. “So there’s one good one out of all of them. I could care less about the rest.”
Unnoticed by the two, Rarity sat in the corner, her untouched scotch before her. After listening to their talk, she realized the town had changed, and not for the better.
The only thing funnier than ethnic humor is ethnic conflict humor!
4989585
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/119448/1/the-frozen-west/the-frozen-west
4990294
Later, when a delusional Twilight Sparkle had banished both of them to Tartarus as Originals in her Reign of the Unseen, Luna would admit that perhaps she had been a bit unwise in her contemplation of potential consequences.
Celestia would then narrowly dodge a boulder hurled at her as Luna pointed out that Celestia's stupid sense of humor had caused all this in the first place.
Five hours later, all the denizens of Tartarus pledged to reform and work to make Equestria far more prosperous, if only they could be away from the squabbling sisters.