Micro-update: waiting for the transfer · 6:45pm Jan 1st, 2019
The screener agreed with the current hospital's psychiatrist, and so this means they're looking for an appropriate facility with bed space available. (They almost had one, but the medication list got in the way. The place which they ultimately said 'No' to doesn't give patients morphine, and the last thing anyone needs is to compound what's happening with withdrawal symptoms.) This is complicated by the holiday, which has a lot of places running short-staffed. I was told that it's likely there won't be any movement until at least tomorrow. I'll be called when it starts, possibly with six hours advance notice. When she's shifted out, I'll follow her down, deliver clothing (assuming they don't have her in assigned items the whole time), take custody of her personal items, and probably go through a long interview/briefing with someone at the new facility. And while I'm in that last part, a facility psychiatrist will be conducting one more analysis of her. If that one agrees with the hospital and screener, then she's in.
I was at the hospital for about half an hour, with pretty much all of it spent speaking to staff. She called me again this morning (hospital line -- they did take her mobile) and it was a reprise of the you-don't-love-me-why-are-you-doing-this? chorus. I was told that the staff had gotten her to take medication, but it had happened ninety minutes after they'd hoped for, and she had just calmed down. She tends to treat appearances by anyone she know (or thinks she does) as someone having come to rescue her. With me, there's the potential for that, or she could just go off on her jailer again. Either way, it would upset her -- so they didn't want me seeing her.
Nice to have an excuse for the avoidance, huh? Because I went down to visit -- but I also needed the update before I saw her. And I asked directly: is it a good idea for me to even go back there? Turns out it isn't.
I've told them I'm okay with their taking extra time to find the right facility. Also that the distance doesn't matter. I'm worried about her stressing out further the longer she's in the crisis ward, but she needs to be with a specialist. So if that means another day, the state border, and hundreds of miles for the roundtrip, so it goes.
Hold together, Previa. Hold together...
Her medication list was brought up. They are worried about interactions/cause because if you go far enough down on the side effects list, you'll find this for many of them. (The same could be said of some over-the-counter stuff.) But with her illness, they can't just risk bringing her to a point where there's nothing in her system and see where she is in that condition. That would mean a full residue flush, and to be without any medication long enough for that to occur -- the risks are too high.
She's still walking when she shouldn't and then wondering why her leg hurts.
So for now, it's back to where I was: waiting for the phone to ring, with crisis or transfer. The latter may be tomorrow -- but it also could be Thursday or later. It could be today. I'm not exactly making any personal plans: I have to be capable of reaching the hospital within twenty minutes at all times, so I'm just staying close and keeping my phone charged.
(One family friend told me to go see a movie. I pointed out the issues with being in a place where I'd need to have my phone turned off for two hours.)
Hurry up and wait.
The live directions feature on the iPad may be in for a workout.
For lack of the Reply All button.
That is at least some good news. I hope all goes well and a bed can be found for your mother. At this point all you have is a waiting game and I hope it will be a short one.
Another leap forward...
pics.me.me/good-night-rest-deeply-sleep-peacefully-dream-sweetly-6438311.png
I hope this new year is better for you than the old one was.
Your mother first manifested her current problems in what, August? (ICR exactly)
This means it only took them 5 months to diagnose the blindingly obvious & give you help
It also, no doubt, cost you your job.
On another website, a doctor bitched me out for saying that the USA doesn't have the best healthcare system in the world
All I can say is "Thank God that we have the best healthcare system in the world because goodness only knows what would have happened to you & your mother if we didn't" (Although, somehow, I DON'T think that "goodness" would have had much to do with it)
Reminder: Locate her phone.
(goes through checklist, already know we're supporting you, already know to keep warm and get over your flu... hm...)
Oh, and remember to put 2019 on your checks.
Here's hoping this comes to a swift conclusion.
I'm glad your finally getting some good-shaped news. Here's hoping they can start getting your mother stabilized.
While we're on the subject - and with an admission that I haven't read the comments section very thoroughly - I don't recall seeing much sympathy for your mother down here1. I don't want to forget that you're not the only person this situation impacts directly.
I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now (though, I imagine she's about as mercurial as the weather in the Midwest), but I would guess that anger and fear are probably on the list fairly frequently.
Here's hoping for more good news and more stability, for you and your mother.
Put in "fan film' on youtube,e you'll get something. Check this out (Three hundred and forty-three thousand likes in one week!)
Glad you have some good news.
It’s good to hear that there’s a plan in action for her care, and that it’s not entirely (and crushingly) on you.
I hope that 2019 brings you far less stress and more happiness.
I think your family is right go and see a movie or something giving yourself a break put your phone on vibrate.. Sad to say odds nothing will be settled today business offices likely closed for the evening or the holiday.. Having went through similar moments with my mom though NO where near as severe those moments for yourself are important
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I have nothing but sympathy for Estee's mom, but she is sadly not in any condition to recognize it. Dementia of any kind is terrible. Her own head is lying to her on a grand scale, and there's nothing to be done about it until the medical professionals who have been punting her back and forth like a hot potato get on the ball and see what, if anything, they can do.
Honestly, being on her condition is one of my personal nightmares, but all we can really do for her is try to support her primary caregiver and hope like hell the docs can get her the right care to at least be safe.
Good luck. Things seem to be moving in the right direction. Hopefully in the next few days proper management and treatment of her condition can begin. You’ve done an amazing job of getting her this far. Please don’t fall down the rabbit hole of second guessing the decisions you’ve made. I know there is a wave of guilt incoming, just remember that you’ve done the absolute best that you could.
My best wishes to you both.
Good luck, again.
I must apologise. I have been reading your updates for the last few, and wincing, but until now I have had not had the time to make a reply, even the ones just to say I'm still here, still rooting for you; I feel guilty for skipping even that relatively helpless-but-only thing I can do for you - but, as usual, I can find no more words than that I am still here, for what that means.
My fingers, then, despite my silence, have never been uncrossed; I continue to think of you and yours and hope and pray things continue to improve, at least to the point of stability.
Now, get some sleep.
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This is a fair point, but I wasn't trying to suggest that Estee's mom would understand our sympathy as we intend it. My comment is really trying to do two things: 1) remind all of us who follow along that there's more people suffering this situation than Estee and 2) let Estee know that those people are also in our thoughts.
Like the rest of our comments here, it's not really for Estee's mom; it's for Estee. I can't know what things I can say that would help Estee, but I know what things could be said to help me in their situation. Seeing sympathy not just for myself but for a person that I love enough to put myself through hell for? That would mean a lot to me.
I know it might not seen like it but this is a good thing. Things are on the right track for her to get the care it needs and it's been a long time coming. You can't do it Estee. She is your mother and you love her but you are also only human. And you have limits. And taking care of her yourself has been killing you both. A stay in a state facility is best and it would be better if it turned long-term. She needs it. You need it. Its hard I know but it's best for you both. She needs the professional care. You need to live. I'm sure were she in her right mind it's what she would want.
I'm really sorry. I hate that it got so bad it had to come to this point. I know it's been so hard, on both of you. I wish I could do anything other than give paltry patreon pledges and offer sympathetic words on a screen. I can't say I know what you're going through. But imagining myself in your place, I know I'd feel really shitty having to put my mom in an institution even though it's categorically better for everyone involved. I wish...anything. anything good for you. For some way for you to make it through this.
Just, try not to beat yourself up for this. You did everything you could and more. Now let the people whose job it is to actually take care of others take over. Always remember you've got us in your corner.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/smart-living/45-things-thatll-make-you-feel-old-if-youre-over-40/ss-BBNDxCu?ocid=spartanntp#image=46
You say that you feel old. Here's a test.