Random Ramblings CCCXLI · 12:01am Dec 11th, 2018
IN WHICH I TRY TO NOT BE DED
Greetings, true believers and hangers-on. It's been awhile. Have a music video from foreign-land.
Yuna (the screamer) is best girl. By coincidence this MV posted on my birthday. Anyway…
So... I still don't have anything new for y'all yet, and for that I once again offer my apologies.
What have I been doing? Mostly sleeping. Sometimes eating. Occasionally going to the gym, like, twice a week after a long break. I also helped a friend with proofreading his OC Pony story. I'll give him a shout-out once the new chapter goes up, because I like the dystopian tone he sets. I wish I could do so well.
I have ideas for more pony stories flit through my head all the time. I even thought up a "prequel" for the Pinkamena story I'm never going to finish even though I'd love to do so.
It all started because I wanted to try to challenge myself by basing a short story around a TV Trope -- in this case, "Dead All Along". The original idea being that Ponk is still working at Sugarcube Corner and talking with the Cakes even though the bakery burned to the ground and the Cake Family is mostly or entirely dead.
Another story I want to write is a short but multichapter fic about the last days of humanoid Orangeglow's life. Just like the real-life dolt he's based on, he's too larger-than-life to not explore him even though he's dead. Plus how a certain EQG character meets with him. I love how it all just works to create an overarching dark narrative before I even begin to plunge Sunset into it. Poor girl has no idea what's coming. And I've made sure she won't try to kill me this time no matter how much I ruin her life in this new timeline.
But, I can't write any of that until "Annie" is ready to go. I've sat on that story for THREE YEARS, although 90% of it was written within the last 12 months. It just needs word-count tweaking before I start posting it. And maybe a second pair of eyes to help me fix its shitty parts. I love world-building, but I never said I was good at it.
And of course there's my ever-present depression. Anyone who insists this is "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" deserves to have their face punched in.
The older I get, the more I identify with The Grinch (the original, not the fucking shitty-ass remake from this year). I mean, I can't keep Christmas from coming and I'm not going to steal tchotchkes like a douchenozzle, but I'm certainly not a holiday kind of guy.
I think my dad's taking it rough this year too. This is the second Christmas without his mother (my grandma), but the first in which I think he's acutely aware of it due to her dying very shortly after he finished cancer treatment. A few days ago she would have celebrated her 99th birthday. Also his current wife left him earlier this year while he was in the hospital. He should divorce her but can't because he's on that cunt's health insurance. And perhaps he doesn't want to. If that's the case, he's in even more denial than I am. I at least know my ex is never coming back. She's married now and has done her level best to delete me and the eight years we were together from her memory. However, my understanding is she's cut herself off from nearly everyone. Not the mark of someone with a healthy mental state. Can't say I'm surprised; she never was one to actually try and face her demons.
The Christmas season is the time where we remember what we've lost and the things we regret having done and having not done. Reminiscing about bygone days that shall never return.
My therapist told me his profession gets very busy this time of year. No shock there. I've got it pretty damn good compared to others. Both my parents are alive... for now and, bizarrely, talking to each other even though they've been divorced for over twelve years. I'm not out of money yet (we'll see how bad it gets after Trump's idiocy finally crashes the economy next year).
On a happier note, I spent another $500 (plus shipping) importing stuff from Japan. This time it was several CDs and Blurays of Sakura Gakuin -- the group of a dozen girls ranging anywhere from 5th to 9th grade who sing, dance, tell jokes, and generally try to put their audiences in a good mood. They're in-training for the wider entertainment world, so you want to cheer them on. Yes it's a lot of money, but I have no regrets.
On an even happier note: the exterior work on my home is finally complete as of last Friday! I had to pay another chunk of change for the gutters, but they have the fancy leaf-guards (that more than doubled the price) and they did the job for me at-cost because the siding had taken so long to do and the team had left a few odds & ends unfinished. I live in the woods, so having leaf-guards is non-negotiable.
Well, that's all for now.
Peace out!
It's good to see you again. And honestly Christmas is the most stressful time of the year because there are so many expectations. It's honestly terrible. It lost its happiness long ago. A lot of problems arise during Christmas too.
Hope things will improve for you. <3