Friendship is Card Games: Movie Prequel #1 & #2 · 1:20pm Dec 9th, 2018
This week, we begin our look at the comics that led up to last year’s movie. With any luck, we’ll get some answers that said film didn’t have time to address.
Issue #1: The Storm King
Brief moment on the cover: I have call out the princess-pulled limo. I have to admit, it does accurately reflect their role in the film, driving the plot forward in the early acts. 
I do like that map on the first panel, though there are obviously some issues with Klugetown being on a different continent than Canterlot. And, of course, with the land of the hippogriffs having much more area to it than Mount Aris. Still, this is the closest thing we have to a canon look at Abyssinia’s geography.
One question that I sincerely hope this comic will answer: What does the Storm King get out of all of this conquest? How does he benefit from destroying nations? There are better ways to run a merchandising empire.
Oh goodness, the Storm King’s fourth-wall aware. Probably a good thing that didn’t carry over to the movie.
Ah, Strife. A curious figure. I have to assume/hope that he’s the brains behind the Storm King’s operations. Though I do have to appreciate how the Storm King can apparently give even an amorphous cloud of malevolent energy a splitting headache.
The “kitty gym” architecture of Panthera is quite amusing, though I imagine it’d be a nightmare to actually build.
Capper, they are actively laying waste to your city. This is not the time to sightsee.
Ah well, curiosity, cats, et cetera.
Okay, so the Storm King can casually punch through stone walls. Also crumple a gold crown into a ring with his bare hands. Good to know.
Ah. There’s our answer. Which, really, I should’ve guessed from the Staff of Sacanas in the movie itself: The Storm King is a murderhobo without the murder, wandering and ransacking the world for loot, especially magical items. He just happens to have the Leadership feat.
“Abyssinia has little use for magic.” I was skeptical about this at first—not using this magic in that world seems like deliberately forgoing electricity in this one—but then it hit me: Most ponies, in everyday life, use magic either unconsciously or as a substitute for thumbs. A low-magic species with digits would need a lot more effort for a lot less return. This statement actually does check out.
Seriously? Why would you warn your conqueror, the person who is going to effectively annihilate your nation through a crashed economy, about the curse on an artifact? I suppose the king’s worried that the effects of the Malachite will ultimately impact Abyssinia, but still, let your foe’s greed be his downfall.
Was burning everything they couldn’t steal really necessary? Shear the sheep, don’t slit its throat.
“Why have you destroyed Abyssinia?”
“Because it was next on my list.”
Sigh. Seriously, what fun is a villain who’s evil for the sake of evil?
Okay, Strife in a dealer’s visor is pretty darn funny.
The anti-friendship speech comes right out of nowhere. Seriously, what prompted that?
So.. he doesn’t want to rule even a single country, but he does want to control and conquer the world?
Who you are and why you are matter, Storm King, because without that information, you’re a two-dimensional villain that cannot grow beyond a trumped-up raider. You are nothing more than a national-scale bully, and that’s boring. Yes, we can create a backstory for him, but when he actively disdains any deeper characterization, it rather kills the motivation to do so. That said, that monologue about being a force of nature and that thirst to prove himself do hint at something interesting…
Also, the antlers do appear to be part of his crown. That wasn’t clear.
Holy crap, one of the Storm King’s soldiers spoke. On camera.
Interesting to note that the parrot pirates shown here have almost lizard-like tails. Or, given the feathers on the ends, dinosaur-like.
Well. This will certainly reinforce the Storm King’s loner philosophy.
Ah. Grubber was promoted because he’s a perfect toady. Makes sense to me.
Issue #2: Captain Celaeno and the Pirates
Celaeno’s pretty darn awesome, but that dialogue just feels like she’s overdoing it. Just because your cutlass is out doesn’t mean you have to play the role to the hilt.
… Why was this ship hauling wallpaper paste and sand? I have to think that it was deliberate decoy to lure pirates so the actual valuables could travel unmolested.
I’m going to assume that the mop in panel 3 missing a wooden peg was a deliberate choice on Price’s part so that it fits in with the more scarred members of the crew, though that does lead the question of how the thing works.
Ah, there’s the answer. Celaeno’s been deliberately aiming low to avoid the Storm King’s notice. I do like how the comic emphasizes the risk aversion that will lead to her knuckling under until Dash lights a fire under her tailfeathers.
Yup, Celaeno’s like a mother to her crew, but they all have to leave the nest some time.
… Huh. Didn’t mean to make the bird connection, but darn if it doesn’t work.
I do appreciate the crew slapping an avian-flavored Jolly Roger on one of the Storm Fleet ships during the raid. Really adds insult to injury.
Huh. Both Aztec gold and Equestrian bits in that pile of loot. Abyssinia’s traders get everywhere.
Protip: Don’t put too much trust in the sapient cloud of malevolence who cannot comprehend the concept of kindness.
Credit to the Storm King, he took the above lesson to heart quite quickly. Granted, given that Strife can apparently fly, I’m not sure how bad tossing him overboard will be. Though we never do see him again. A shame; we learned what his agenda was.
Also, Grubber apparently has quite a bit of talent when it comes to either airship repair or expediting it.
So… exactly how bad would a single, hand-thrown harpoon be against a ship that far away, anyway?
Going by the number of parrot pirates we see here who never made it into the movie, it looks like Celaeno’s crew got split up anyway.
Huh. Two pony comics without any actual ponies and far more fingers than usual. These issues are filled with the same aesthetic disconnect that Klugetown held in the movie. In any case, these do provide some more background on their subjects, and on Capper, though we’ll see more of him in two weeks.
In all, the message of the prequels thus far is clear: Outside of Equestria and against overwhelming forces, friendship isn’t quite enough magic. Not without the sort of grand, sweeping alliance we get in the movie. This does actually lead into the School of Friendship as a concept, spreading the lessons to all nations so that they can stand against future would-be Storm Kings in greater solidarity… though one could argue it’d lead more into a season of globetrotting as the Mane Six travel with Tempest to spread the word of the Storm King’s defeat to the territories he conquered. Of course, if we thought the School intruded on their lives…
Regardless, that ship has sailed. Let’s look and see what I can make of this story thus far:
Abyssinian Stowaways 1W
Creature — Cat Survivor
Morbid — If a creature died this turn, you may cast Abyssinian Stowaways as though it had flash.
Abyssinians always land on their feet, though that can lead them to very strange landing zones.
2/2
Numerical Superiority 2W
Instant
If you control more creatures than each other player, creatures you control get +2/+2 until end of turn.
Abyssinia was a nation of traders. Its small army quickly fell to the Storm King’s hordes.
Daring Escape U
Instant
If you control a Treasure, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Return target creature you own to your hand.
”The run is just as important as the hit.”
—Captain Celaeno
Steelbeak Sailor 1U
Creature — Harpy Pirate
Metalcraft — Steelbeak Sailor can’t be blocked as long as you control three or more artifacts.
The same supplies repair both the pirates’ ships and the pirates themselves.
2/1
Merchant Molly 2U
Creature — Cat Citizen
When Merchant Molly enters or leaves the battlefield, each player may draw a card. Each player who does discards a card.
”I have plenty to offer if you do too.”
2/1
Celaeno’s Skyjackers 2UU
Creature — Harpy Pirate
Raid — When Celaeno’s Skyjackers enters the battlefield, if you attacked with a creature this turn, gain control of target artifact for as long as you control Celaeno’s Skyjackers.
They’ll take anything that isn’t nailed down, including nails.
3/2
Chokehold 2B
Instant
Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn. If that creature is tapped, destroy it instead.
Martial techniques almost unknown in Equestria flourish among other creatures.
Scarred Corsair 2B
Creature — Harpy Pirate
Raid — Scarred Corsair enters the battlefield with a -1/-1 counter on it unless you attacked with a creature this turn.
”Physical therapy? This is my physical therapy!”
3/3
Strife, Havoc Sower 2B
Legendary Creature — Spirit
Flying
Other attacking creatures you control get +1/+0 and have menace
At the beginning of your end step, if you didn’t attack with a creature this turn, an opponent of your choice gains control of Strife, Havoc Sower.
A cloud that drifts on winds of war.
3/1
Strife’s Missive 2B
Sorcery
Draw two cards. If you didn’t attack with a creature this turn, Strife’s Missive deals 2 damage to you.
As the Storm King dreamt of world conquest, Strife made his own plans.
Job Offer 2RR
Sorcery
Gain control of target creature unless that creature’s controller has Job Offer deal 5 damage to them.
”I’m an equal and opposite opportunity employer.”
—The Storm King
Battering Company 3R
Creature — Yeti Soldier
1R: Destroy target blocking creature with defender.
Walls mean little to the Storm King beyond a slight delay.
3/3
Grand Haul 3R
Instant
Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player this turn, create a colorless Treasure artifact token with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”
After hijacking the Storm King’s treasure fleet, the pirates’ loot outweighed the crew.
Pitiless Pillagers 3R
Creature — Yeti Soldier
Trample
Whenever Pitiless Pillagers deals combat damage to a player, add RR at the beginning of your next main phase.
The Storm Fleet sustains itself on the wealth of its victims.
3/2
Storm Guard Torchbearer 3RR
Creature — Yeti Soldier
When Storm Guard Torchbearer dies, destroy target land.
“Burning has to be my second favorite part of a conquest, right after pillaging.”
—The Storm King
3/3
Ambiguous Past 1G
Sorcery
Return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand.
Whenever you cast a historic spell, return Ambiguous Past from your graveyard to your hand. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
Only one person knows how the Storm King rose to power, and he has no interest in sharing.
Boarder’s Speargun 3
Artifact
3, T: Target creature blocks this turn if able.
“Sure, you could aim for the crew, but that makes the line a lot less secure.”
—Captain Celaeno
Storm Fleet Flagship 3
Artifact — Vehicle
Flying
Storm Fleet Flagship’s power is equal to the number of artifacts you control.
Crew 3 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 3 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
*/4
The Misfortunate Malachite 4
Legendary Artifact
T: Add CCC.
2, T: Draw a card.
4, T: Target opponent gains control of The Misfortunate Malachite.
If a source would deal damage to you and The Misfortunate Malachite is tapped, that source deals that much damage plus 2 to you instead.
Panthera Milktower 4
Artifact
Whenever you cast a spell, you gain 1 life for each spell you’ve cast this turn.
Pay 50 life: Creatures you control get +10/+10 and gain trample and indestructible until end of turn.
Abyssinia’s forces stood ready to use their final contingency… just before the Storm King crushed it to rubble.
Felix, Merchant King 2WU
Legendary Creature — Cat Advisor
Cats you control with power 2 or less can’t be blocked.
Whenever a Cat you control deals combat damage to a player, create a 1/1 white Cat creature token with lifelink.
”All borders open for the trader.”
2/2
Grubber, Born Lackey 2BR
Legendary Creature — Goblin Minion
When Grubber, Born Lackey dies, at the beginning of the next end step, return to the battlefield all cards in your graveyard that you sacrificed this turn.
Some people are indispensable through competence or exclusive knowledge. Some just don’t stay dispensed.
3/2
Birthing Tempest 3RG
Sorcery
Birthing Tempest deals 4 damage to any target. You may put a creature card with converted mana cost 4 or less from your hand onto the battlefield.
Dragons aren’t the only creatures storms can bring into being.
Holy crap
I like that card, but something's missing... Is it supposed to be non-legendary?
It sounds like the comic didn't even try to make the Storm King interesting. No wonder the movie killed him off - there's no capacity for friendship or sympathy in him.
I never understood this complaint have people never watched a classic Disney movie or any of the previous MLP seasons? Discord doing crazy things just because he can or Tirek being power hungry for no real reason isn't much different from the Storm King conquering simply because he wants to.
There is plenty of fun to be had out of a villain who is evil for the sake of evil. Complex villains are nice and all but sometimes you just need someone for the hero to beat up. All that matters is if the villain is entertaining and poses an actual threat to the hero. As far as that goes the Storm King works very well I loved every moment he was on screen and just wished he had more screen time. If you want complexity in your villains that's what Tempest is there for.
And in exchange we got
See, I didn't really read that as evil for the sake of evil -- to me, that probably would have taken the form of something like "because I wanted to". The impression I got from that exchange -- especially with all the emphasis the Storm King put on acquiring wealth earlier -- was more along the lines of the Storm King needing resources and funds, Abyssinia having them, and him treating sacking and looting an entire nation as just a pre-planned step to get what he wanted.
I actually liked the Storm King comic, mostly because he actually had a more tangible personality than in the movie. Sure, he's still not especially deep or complex, but he at least did get some character growth through realizing Strife's betrayal. It's actually pretty good set-up for why he treated Tempest the way he did in the movie.
The Captain Celaeno issue was also welcome, mostly because it explained a character who really needed more attention. In the movie, the ponies help them be pirates again, despite the fact that they might've been ones who terrorized ponies as well. Here, they at least explain they only steal from the Storm King and do it for a living instead of plain malevolence.
4978580
A Photoshop layer that he forgot to turn back on, most likely.
Or the parrots are mimes as well as pirates, but that's rather too horrible to contemplate.
4978583
Yes, yes it is. The Abyssinian succession crisis has been resolved.
4978592
Well, there is a little. He does seem to be a good boss, even planning something nice for the troops for after the sacking of Panthera... but he makes it entirely clear that he sees them as nothing more than employees and necessary extensions of his will.
4978596
Here's the thing: Disney villains still clearly have some backing to their actions. Gaston, golden boy of his village, lusts after the one girl who doesn't throw herself at him. Frollo finds himself caught between his faith and his baser nature and, unable to reconcile the conflict, condemns the one who inspired that inner crisis. Dr. Facilier has debts to pay to those friends on the other side. Even Maleficent lashes out because she wasn't invited to the party, in the tradition of Eris. The motivations are there to see, making the characters feel less like plot devices with voice actors.
I suppose my biggest issue with the Storm King is the same reason I like some pony episodes more than the average person on the site: My primary criterion for enjoyment is how much of the narrative I can dismantle and repurpose for my own work. And the Storm King actively opposes and disdains that in this comic, going so far as to address the reader when doing so. It's... well, to put it glibly, it's a perfect storm of FoME-displeasing properties.
4978611
I honestly can't tell if that cutoff was intentional or not.
4978617
That is a good point, and a much less aggravating way of looking at the exchange. Thanks.
4978630
Indeed. Thus far, these comics are doing a good job of filling in blanks the movie wouldn't or couldn't, especially the moral ambiguity of the pirates.
4978667
There's a title: The Pirate-Mimes of Owl Pass.
4978781
Personally, I always liked Silver-Quill's analysis of the Storm King. That the guy basically wants to have complete control over everything and to do that he goes around conquering nations and taking all their wealth for himself. He leaves the current rulers in charge because he has no interest in actually ruling over anyone but by taking everything they have of value he makes sure they are completely reliant on him thus giving him complete control over the places he conquers.
4978782
4978781
It was intentional. His 5 seconds of screentime was fun but there weren't much to it.
I liked the movie prequels, for the most part. I will criticise the movie itself to hell and back for giving us all these shallow celebrity-voiced OCs for villains and supporting characters instead of actually doing something interesting with the already huge existing cast, but the prequel series actually gave a lot of them some degree of depth that was entirely absent in the movie itself. Particularly Capper, but I'll save my praise for him until we get to that issue. As for the Storm King, I'll admit, I'm also frustrated that the comic actively refuses to give us any kind of motivation or backstory for him, especially since he had even less in the actual movie, but it still at least did a lot more to characterise him and show us more of the inner workings of his little empire. I wish we'd gotten a lot more, but I enjoyed what we got. In that respect, it rather reminds me of Tirek's FIENDship issue.