Other Artistic stuff and a story from Uncle Minaren

So I did this as an experiment in reprofiling an item into something else. Object started as a letter opener. I will probably do something to re-contour the handle and make it more knife-like. Wanna see were this will take me. Will post more when I work more on it.

Tell me what you think Also the Shovel Savage used in this Story:

[Adult story embed hidden]

Is based around the one pictured below that I originally modifying for use in my car. Never finished the handle though.

And Becuase I am not sure that anyone actually made it to the end of my last Post I am Reposting the story at the end Here:

I have mentioned before a certain recurring dream I had in This Post. Well evidently my head decided it needed a sequel. The dream opens with me and the Universe being locked inside a room to "work our shit out or kill each other." I am not sure who it was that locked us in, but I do know that I heard bets being placed. Well, I don't tend to like letting problems ferment so I immediately start with.

"Alright, why are you such a vindictive cunt all the time? Look at the shit that goes down! My life notwithstanding, what has any of us mortals ever done to you?"

The Universe stared at me a moment and then sighed. In that moment I saw a reflection of the exhaustion we mortals are all plagued with.

"I don't really have much of a choice." She stated.

Taking a breath she began again. "Within the Void there are areas that have looser restraints on physics, the universes that live there have magic and can afford to be beneficent beings, only stymied by the free will of mortals and the machinations of the gods."

"Do I need to guess that we are not anywhere near any part of the void like that?" I snark.

"Worse. I am locked in position just far enough away to not only have the stiffest rules of physics imposed on me of any universe ever, but just close enough to get a fantastic view of all the good stuff."

My eyes widened at the implication.

"So basically Uni, you are telling me that you get a front row seat to all the good stuff but can have none of it yourself?" I asked. "Well no wonder you're a complete bitch, I'd be horrible to if that was the case."

Uni at this point exclaims, "And That's not even the worst part! My youngest sister is smack fucking dab in the middle of the paradise zone. She never has to worry about conservation of mass, Einstein's theory of relativity, or the implications of Quantum Theory. Yet I am supposed to feel bad that the cumslut cheated on her husband and got infested with outsiders. Not once but several times. Meanwhile, I have been faithful to mine and he runs of after a different universe that is not stuck in one spot. All the sympathy I got for that was my mom telling me 'that it takes two to make a marriage' and that I need to 'move on from the failure.' My sister's husband is the sweetest guy ever. Yet she treats him like trash. But heaven help I stick up for him, because then it's all, 'you shouldn't pick on your sister, she's having such a hard time with those outsiders.' Well no shit! If she'd stop gang banging Elder Gods raw then maybe she wouldn't have to worry about it! The FUCKING DIRTY SLUT!"

At this point I feel incredibly bad for the shit I was talking earlier.

"That is absolutely horrible Uni, if it makes you feel any better, even though I still think you are the meanest bitch around, I at least acknowledge that you are OUR meanest Bitch around."

Flashing my best Irish grin I continue, "Hell, it's tough love you've been giving us. Why I bet her heroes are pansies next to us. After all we never had magic and look at we can do. All because you've demanded we put the effort in that we want out. You taught us to get back up after hitting the ground and go right back to the brawl. Fuck, I imagine their booze must be shit too."

The Universe chuckles, "Oh, you better believe it. Quite frankly the water we drink out of the faucet is stronger. The heroes my sister bred are cowards, you take away their magic, they cry like bitches. But I got good strong ones here. Her last infestation I sent her one. The outsiders ran like the vermin they are." She then chuckled darkly.

"Fucker then set herself up as the blood queen and proceeded to rule with an iron fist. An abused housewife here, a terrifying Queen of blood, death and fire there. But there is one thing, one thing my whore of a sister holds over my head every fucking time we talk."

Uni hesitates and casts her eyes to the floor, unable to leave things hanging I encourage her to continue.

"Don't stop now." I say, "We've made progress, tell me what the worthless slattern holds over you. Hard working woman that you are."

Uni begins to tear, "She has the greatest mix of meat for Cheeseburgers ever! Uses it for a kind of fucking meat pate! And the bitch won't tell me the recipe! Says that the mix is only for high society and that Cheeseburgers are peasant food."

"Well that Snooty Bitch!" says I, "Fuck her, tell me everything you know about this ambrosia of chop meat and I will get this out into the world. That revolving door of a cunt you call a sister dares to insult the honor of our humble cheeseburger, if I can't figure out a good mix then I know someone else of more skill will. Then you can take her one of my Painkillers and one of those Cheeseburgers to wipe the pretentiousness off her face!"

Uni smiles, "You're very sweet, but I really shou....." a buzzing is heard, interrupting our conversation.

Uni pulls out here cell phone and glances at the screen. Her eyes harden, then she looks upon me. Her previous smile, now utterly malevolent, and to my relief in no way directed at me.

"The recipe calls for a mix of venison, beef, lamb, pork, and bison. The spices I was able to identify are garlic, salt, pepper, onion, cayenne, and honey. Other than that I have no idea. Do this and I will have no more quarrel with you than any of the other mortals living within me."

As Uni rose up, I could see the tears of rage beginning to form.

"My husband just divorced me and is now marrying his 'soulmate,' my sister is the maid of honor. My sister and mother just sent me a joint message that I not cause a seen at the wedding."

Tears in her eyes she fled.

Alright, that bitch made our Universe cry. Anyone that can figure this recipe out do so, the second anyone does Uni will know and will get to rub everything in her younger sisters face.

We are strong because of our failures, this is a lesson we learned. All of our progress and power is built on this. It is lesson we have been blessed with. If one day we take our Universe to task over it, then that is our right. No one else's. This act of vengeance will be petty, but how many of us can say we have not been just as petty, and for less noble of reasons. Get to it.

Oh and the recipe for one of my Painkillers is

1 shot Capt. Morgan's Coconut Rum
1 Shot Straight Jameson's
Add Lemon Juice and Honey, flavored to taste.

It is called a Painkiller because afterwards you feel great. It also cures colds, flu, and whatever ails you.

Unit's sister will need it after we make the slut eat her words.